Adnan’s Chin-stache Speaks


First of all guys, f*ck you, because I’m the only sideways mustache on a chin – a chin! – that you’re ever gonna see in your life. That alone right there proves how awesome I am. But if that isn’t enough, let’s just say I am attached to the dude who is currently trying to make babies with Britney Spears. Yeah I said it - she wants his baby. Because Brit wants a tot that can rock a stache like this, dudes. For reals. Maybe you saw my main man Adnan Ghalib on TV last night, looking all sexy and smug and babbling about how he wants to marry Britney. Well it’s true ya’ll, they love each other, and I get to go along for the ride. Click here if you want to see my sexiness in action (oh and Adnan too, chatting about the paycheck love of his life). Finally, I want to respond to the billions of inquiries I’ve received as to how I look so good. My secret is this: I’m actually a Brazilian bikini wax, just done on a chin. Slam!

Wednesday: Britney Breaks Up a Marriage


britney012308.jpgMariah Carey Magically Got Hot
Topless and toned – it’s Mimi at her best. Now if only she’d work that hard on getting her album out. [DListed]

Beyoncé & Tina: Diva Duet at Grammys
Finally someone’s gonna show B what it really means to be bootylicious. [People]

Amy’s Crack Video Piques Police Interest
Surprise surprise, British police aren’t so psyched about Winehouse’s choice of illegal substances to abuse. [People]

Brit’s Boyfriend’s Wife Ready to Divorce
Girl, what took you so long?! [People]

Denise Richards Casts Her Kids in Her Reality Show
We love seeing how far stars can take their tackiness, and going to court to fight – and win – for your toddler daughters to be in your reality tv show is pretty gross. Nice work, Denise! [TMZ]

What Happened to Heath Ledger?


We’re still not over our OMG WTF reaction to Heath Ledger‘s death. The sad news continues to pour in, so here’s your morning recap of what is known thus far. RIP, Heath.

  • The actor was discovered by his housekeeper and his masseuse, who had arrived for a 3:00 massage appointment at his loft in SoHo, NYC. They discovered him lying face down on the floor, naked. His masseuse called her friend, an EMT who also happens to be Ashley Olsen‘s bodyguard, who was at the twin’s apartment down the street.
  • There were not pills scattered around the apartment, as was originally reported, but police did find both prescription and non-prescription sleeping pills near Heath.
  • Heath was reportedly sick from pneumonia at the time of the death and also suffering from insomnia (he had just returned from shooting a film in London).
  • His family has spoken out and does not believe his death was a suicide.
  • Ex-fiancee Michelle Williams has returned to New York from Sweden (where she is shooting a movie) with their 2-year old daughter Matilda. She is reportedly “devastated.”Um, obviously.
  • Many people are speaking out about Heath’s life, including Focus Features, the company that produced Brokeback Mountain. They said, “Heath Ledger was a courageous actor, and a great soul. He gave us the gift of sharing his fearless and beautiful love – of his craft, and of all who worked with him – for which all of us will be eternally grateful.”
  • Here’s a chat with the actor circa Brokeback Mountain.

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Heath Ledger Found Dead In NYC

Kardashian and Her Kondoms


Kimmy‘s no fool. She keeps her privates clean and pregnancies at bay by having her man Reggie Bush suit up before it’s time for the wild thing. And nope, they don’t use the Trojans that her former sex-tape beau Ray J is helping push. They’re rocking Lifestyles, as suggested by this nice picture. Can’t watch movies all the time at the Sundance fest, right? Gotta be something going on when the party’s over.

Want more Kim? Look no further.

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Heath Ledger Found Dead in NYC


Heath Ledger

Truly disturbing news: Police in New York report that Heath Ledger has been found dead in a lower Manhattan apartment, and, judging by the scene, suggest that a drug overdose is the cause. The 28-year-old actor earned his star status in Ang Lee’s Brokeback Mountain, and was part of the thick cast in Todd Haynes‘ recent Bob Dylan portrait, I’m Not There. Lots of movie fans are looking forward to his role as the Joker in this summer’s The Dark Knight.

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Sundance Film Festival 2008


Get a glimpse at the snow-filled fun in Utah over the weekend. Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Jessica Alba, Mary-Kate Olsen, Audrina Patridge, Kirsten Dunst, Mischa Barton, Adrian Grenier, Emily Blunt, Michel Gondry, Jack Black, Colin Farrell, and Mena Suvari were among the A through D-listers who were spotted sporting their winter duds.

photo_20×92.gifFor more Sundance shots, click here.

Brit Dumps Adnan, Disses Homeless Dude


‘Ello mates! This ‘er is the British accent version of your daily Britney Spears update! Things got bloody crazy this weekend, after Britney reportedly dumped her snogging partner, photog Adnan Ghalib. Her mate Sam Lufti even claimed to have a restraining order against the lad! The lass finally wised up to Adnan’s dodgy ways, but it looks like her brief moment of intelligence came too late. The snake is already trying to sell text messages Brit sent him from her mobile, and the messages reveal that the singer wants to be a teacher! What a daft bugger!

A knackered-looking Brit got over her heartache by keeping busy – she worked on a dance routine for her new video and even managed to make it to her court-ordered deposition! But our personal fave moment came when British Britney told a homeless chap who was begging her for help, “You would rather be homeless than be me, sir!” What cheeky bollocks! We’d take her insane brain if it meant getting close to all that cash – and we’re gonna guess our hobo pal feels the same. Enjoy her rant in the video above. Cheerio!

Wanna Win Idol? Take Our Advice


Fox’s annual circus hit TV town last week, and yep, after a couple of nights, there were plenty of entertaining entries on the screen. To get down the road on American Idol, certain rules must be followed, and certain faux-pases must be avoided. Here’s part of the list. You know who the characters are, right?

Do: Tell the producers a great back story that might land you one of those “down on the farm” segments where we see you frolicking with your son/daughter/pets/tractor. The sadder, the better.

Don’t: Have your back story be tied to a bag of nail clippings, your “Star Wars” fetish, a stalker routine, an ability to make funny noises or a “wacky” original song about abstinence. Speaking of chastity, though never-been-kissed virgin Bruce Dickson and his lock-and-key necklace told a tale so bizarrely endearing the striking Writers Guild of America should investigate whether he had some help with it, we recommend a little less sharing next time.

Do: Try to stand out in front of the judges by wearing something interesting, (slightly) provocative, flattering or, failing that, bland enough that it doesn’t distract them from your singing.

Don’t: Shop at the costume shop, paint your face, wear a Cowell-esque top that exposes so much of your chest that Simon and Randy lose their focus, attach anything resembling tin foil to your body or have your shirt signed by your “supporters.” And, for the love of God, if you can’t see your feet, don’t wear a Princess Leia costume, even if you are manscaped. Nobody needs to see that.

Check tonight’s show and come back tomorrow for our weekly recap.