Darling Tila, once again we find ourselves dreadfully concerned. Do you think we enjoy feeling this way? No, no we don’t. The reason why is simple. On last night’s episode, it seems that your dip in the pool erased your face. We understand that water can act as a solvent, especially when your makeup isn’t chlorine-proof, but what happened to your eyebrows? Did MTV steal them?
We like to recall you in happier times, frolicking in similarly scanty attire, but painted up to the peak of perfection. We will remember you as you are below, in these, some of our favorite photographs.
Oh, your tanned belly, lithe limbs, cute little tattoos . . . and pencil-thin eyebrows, which, apparently, are actually drawn on with a pencil. We are not the only ones who are attracted to you this way. For proof, look no further than Brandi, who made her stand last week, left the house, and then reneged on her position and came crawling back to beg forgiveness.
Finally this divorce is gonna turn into a fun little game of Gotcha! Along with her private investigator (our guess is that this is just cousin-assistant Alli Sims in a Sherlock Holmes hat and pipe), BritBrit is attempting to bust K-Fed doing something dumb. Kevin’s attorney wasn’t fazed by the singer’s latest attempt at couple’s war, stating that he didn’t think her snooping would be “a good expenditure of funds.” But this is Britney Spears we’re talking about! The girl is made of funds. And so what if the Kev’s counselor isn’t freaked? We still like to imagine what dirty business Britney might find goin’ down at Chez Federline:
- Kevin likes to dance around in his underwear to – gasp! - Christina Aguilera.
- Sean Preston and Jayden James are fed Cheez-Its and Ginger Ale instead of Cheetos and Diet Coke.
- K-Fed invited Justin Timberlake over for a sleepover where they ate pizza, prank called Britney and learned the entire dance routine to “I’m a Slave 4 U.”
- Her ex has a weekly hang session with his bros where they smoke some of the green stuff, drink 40′s, and watch The Bachelor.
- Kevin stops at red lights and only makes left hand turns when the stoplight is green - amazing!
You asked and New York answered! After receiving hundreds of questions for New York, VH1′s own H.B.I.C. is now fielding them. Below, you’ll find the first installment of New York’s answers to the fans’ questions. If yours didn’t make the cut, have no fear: there are further installments of Ask New York on the way. Check back next week to see even more Ask New York answers.
Dr. Jan Adams, the doctor who operated on Kanye West‘s mother Donda the day before she died, appeared on Larry King Live last night…for about a minute and a half. He’d been slated as the night’s guest, and was set to seize the opportunity to clear up what he claims are press-spun inaccuracies. But after being booked, the doctor was asked by the West family not to appear on the show. Adams explained:
“They are my side, and I’m going to respect their wishes. I’m going to apologize to you because I think I’m taking up your air time, but I will not be on the show and I’m not going to discuss any of that. I’m going to honor their wishes, OK?“
Soon after, he unclipped his mic and left. As if this case needed any help in its weirdness, Dr. Jan Adams just saw it and raised it a pile of attitude. Work it out.
You can watch the clip of Jan’s appearance at CNN’s website.
Every right-thinking rock fan wants Led Zeppelin to play more dates than the single reunion gig that’s caused so much ballyhoo since its announcement last month. But Robert Plant says it’s highly unlikely and Jimmy Page is uncertain. Someone should give the icons a magic eight ball. But maybe Zep fans are being fed some fibs about the likelihood of a more extensive tour. Seems that Ian Astbury, tough-guy singer for the Cult, mouthed off about his band’s opening slot on a Zeppelin 2008 tour on stage in that rock ‘n’ roll paradise, Cincinnati.
Blast the new, 5.1 surround sound version, of The Song Remains the Same until the real beans about the tour are spilled from the Zep camp.
And here are 10 tunes that don’t get enough respect from Zeppelinites.
The hip hop star took a break from his European tour this week to return to the States and pay tribute to his #1 fan – his mama. Donda West‘s funeral was held yesterday in Spencer, Oklahoma, at the True Vine Ministries church. Kanye broke down as he stood in front of the gathered crowd – which included Jay Z, Beyonce, Erykah Badu and Pharell Williams – and spoke a few short words about his mom. The rapper said that he was addressing them because his mom would have urged him to “get up there,” and that he hoped she would not “rest in peace, but rest in paradise.” Anita Baker sang the song “Summertime,” while R&B star John Legend played piano. One guest commented that “it was a beautiful service.”
In the video above, Kanye pays tribute to his mother at his concert in Brussels, Belgium, on Sunday. Before bringing a woman out to sing the Journey classic “Don’t Stop Believing,” West told the crowd, “I wanna dedicate this to my mother because of the words, the lyrics … It says what she would want me to do, and that’s to not stop believing.” Awwww.
There’s only one thing we like more than The Oprah Winfrey Show’s “Favorite Things” episode, and that is the joyful meltdowns the audience members have when they discover that they’re getting some sh*t for free. Oprah went out of her way do this year’s episode in Macon, Georgia – which has consistently given the talk show its highest ratings. Obviously the southern ladies were already a tad bit pumped to have their girl Opes in the house even before she revealed all the goodies they’d be getting. And yes, these fans all received a $4000 fridge complete with a flatscreen TV built into the door, which is a freak-out worthy object, for sure. But to have the same ecstatic panic attack for a Josh Groban Christmas CD? Now that just seems like they’re milkin’ it for the cameras just a bit.
This show simultaneously demonstrates the best of
Oprah’s Oprah’s sponsors’ generosity and the worst of America’s lust for material things, and leaves us a bit confused about what the holiday season is really about: giving – or getting (a lot of crap)? Watch the video and let us know what you’d rather be doing – we’ll be in the kitchen wearing our some sweet Ugg boots, and making a love sandwich for Stedman with our brand new panini maker. [DListed]
Click on the link to check out the entire list of Oprah-endorsed gifts!
Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. Last Night’s Pics puts you in touch with all the action.
The party scene was a bit dead in Hollywood and NYC last night, so Kate Hudson and Kimberly Stewart jumped the pond to London for the launch of the “Wonder Room” at Selfridge’s, where Stevie Wonder brought down the house. Joan Collins was there as well, never one to miss a shindig.
George Clooney Backs Britney
The hunky actor comes to Britney Spears’ defense against the paparazzi. Now if he could only protect her from bad outfit choices too. [People]
Zahara Jolie-Pitt’s Birth Mom Speaks
Turns out the little girl’s mom is still alive in Ethiopia and has revealed to the press that Z was conceived after she was raped. [NYP]
Donda West Doc Disses Larry King
Surgeon Jan Adams bailed on Larry just minutes into his appearance on the talk show. Looks like a letter from Kanye’s peeps asking him to keep quiet actually worked. [People]
Celebs Support Striking Writers
Ray Romano and Debra Messing showed up and Alicia Keys performed. Hollywood’s writers strike is starting to sound more like an awards show. [E Online]
Will Smith Down with Scientology
Smith confesses that pal Tom Cruise got him into studying Scientology. That’s what crazy friends are for, natch. [A Socialite's Life]
Finally, Tila Tequila, you’ve granted our wishes. How we’ve longed to speak with you! In our first installment of the heavenly conversation we enjoyed with you, we discussed a variety of matters pertinent to your television spectacle: eating bull penis, Michael’s testicle-waxing excursion, and why innocent youngsters don’t move at your speed. Fascinating, Tila. We look forward to hearing from you again, next Tuesday. In the meantime, consider us smitten. Interview after the jump.