Paula Abdul’s Major 10 Minute Meltdown

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What perfect timing! Just as we were gearing up for a new season of American Idol comes this crazy tale of our precious Paula Abdul totally losing it in the airport. A traveling spy saw the whole thing and offered this glorious account: “She had an insane nervous breakdown that lasted 10 minutes. One minute she was hyperventilating and on the verge of passing out; the next she was yelling into her cell phone in this deep, rage-filled ‘Poltergeist’ voice. She kept screaming three names over and over — Michael, Sidney and Leslie. Everyone was staring at her, but she didn’t care.”

We have a feeling Michael, Sidney and Leslie have grabbed their passports, some cash and their dignity and high-tailed it out of the country. Will Paula lose it on this season of American Idol? Did Sanjaya have the lamest hair ever? Only six more days till we find out! Below the jump we’ve got a few of our other favorite Paula moments for you to marvel at.

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Wednesday: Will Wants to be Like Tom

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willtom.jpgWill Smith Sucked Into Scientology
The rapper-turned-actor is reportedly recruiting people for his pal Tommy’s religion. [NYDN]

J. Lo Calls Baby a “Bubble Gut”
Lopez assumed “everybody knew” about her pregnancy before she revealed it. True, but we didn’t care! [People]

K-Fed’s Police Order Against Britney
The LAPD slapped Brit with a restraining order on behalf of her ex, a customary practice when people get crazy. Um, can we have one too? [People]

Dr. Phil Pisses Off the Spears
They’re accusing the TV doc of violating their trust when he spoke out about his meeting with Brit. What a shock, we totally expected him to stay mum. [People]

Jennifer Love Hated Bikini Blow Up
The whole bathing suit pic fiasco hurt her feelings – but it helped her career, so it was all worth it, right? [Us]

Posh Top’s Blackwell’s Worst-Dressed List

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It’s a bad day for Victoria Beckham. The Posh One landed at the top of the Mr. Blackwell’s annual list of the worst-dressed. “Forget the fashion spice – wearing a skirt would suffice! In one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty posh can really wreck-em,” said Blackwell in the statement. Posh, who designs clothes in addition to occasionally covering herself with them, was joined by Amy Winehouse, Mary-Kate Olsen, and Avril Lavigne. Does Posh deserve the dishonor of ranking number one?

Blog Best-Of: New York’s New Advisor

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new_york_links.jpg- New York dines with noted publicist Lizzie Grubman. Plan for World Domination enters its second phase! [CONCRETELOOP]

- Shay of Charm School and Flavor of Love wants to make sure you know her correct MySpace page. She doesn’t want all that webcam spam going to the wrong person, you know? [Crunk + Disorderly]

- Pete Wentz says that girls don’t need makeup to be hot. Judging by his eyeliner, guys are a different story entirely. [Jezebel]

- Stephen Baldwin speaks out against gay marriage. But see, it isn’t a choice…nor is being a Baldwin, for that matter. [Dlisted]

- The new American Gladiators is a huge hit. You know what they say: you can never have too many spandexed penises on network television. Take that, Baldwin! [Best Week Ever]

[Image credit: Getty]

Two Old Geezers Review Superbad

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This clip of two established – but old – Hollywood insiders, Marcia and Lorenzo, reviewing Superbad is a few months old, but we’ve just discovered it. Needless to say, we’re kind of obsessed with them now. The pair, who go by the name Reel Geezers, review flicks on their YouTube site. Listening to them tear apart this summer’s coming-of-age hit as “foul beyond description” and “vile” is just amazing. They also get a good bash in at The Catcher in the Rye too. How anti-establishment! In honor of last night’s Critics Choice Awards – at which Superbad was nominated for Best Comedy Movie – we bring you the Reel Geezers review (warning: the language, though said by old peeps, is NSFW). Lorenzo and Marcia give it “one penis up and one penis down.” What do you think?

Rock In the Movies: 2007

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You’ve got Dewey Cox tripping through all the rock ‘n’ roll eras, from the Elvis and Buddy Holly days to the Beatles and the Maharishi daze. You got Joy Division‘s Ian Curtis making some of the most gorgeous gloom ever concocted before offing himself. And you’ve got 18-20 versions of Bob Dylan bouncing around in Todd HaynesI’m Not There. All sorts of music took over the screens last year. Romp through our flipbook and see if there’s a story you missed.

Eminem’s Hospital Scare

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eminem.jpgSlim Shady is now Sick Shady – the rapper landed himself in the hospital over Christmas with a serious case of pneumonia and a heart condition. Sources on the inside also report that Em’s weight has ballooned to over 200 pounds. His rep recently gave the official word: “Over the holidays, Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, was under doctor’s care at a Detroit-area hospital for complications due to pneumonia. He has since been released and is doing well recovering at home.”

We’re glad to hear he’s healing and kinda hope maybe he’s got enough material to inspire an album. Eminem’s been in hiding for the past year or so, and told Hot 97 in September that his projects were “in limbo.” Let’s hope for a speedy recovery of both his health and his career. [MTV News.]

Divorce Countdown: Kate Heigl & That Dude

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Katherine Heigl is so pretty and perfect and all that sweet stuff. She just got married to that kind of good-looking rocker dude and is now gushing about how pumped she is to have babies. But you know who doesn’t look so psyched? Her new husband. He looks like he’d rather be crammed into a hammock somewhere, strumming his guitar and guzzling a Corona as a couple of hot chicks swoon over his dark and stormy (and mascara-enhanced?) eyes. Katherine’s brought home an Emmy, snagged a raise on her hit show Grey’s Anatomy, and scored a hit movie (last summer’s Knocked Up) and now a serious chick flick in the past year. Her asking price per film has grown from $300,000 to a nice n’ easy $6 million! And you know she’s just waiting to get all ugly for some role and win an Oscar a la Charlize Theron – and score some sweet endorsement deals during her free time. All which leads us to believe that this cute couple isn’t gonna have time for baby-making, because they’ll be to busy breaking up after her star becomes too bright. Don’t believe me? Just ask Reese Witherspoon and Hilary Swank.

Check out more pics of Katherine and her hubby at the premiere of 27 Dresses below:

[All Images: Getty]

Critics’ Choice Awards Behind the Scenes

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If you’re going to stand on a red carpet, you’d best bring a stool. At the Critics’ Choice Awards last night in Los Angeles, the entryway was packed with news agencies and paparazzi – everyone from the networks and domestic entertainment press to foreign reporters, like those from Canal Plus. (On the northern side of cultural reportage, Ben Mulroney, the host of Canadian Idol and the son of a former prime minister, cut the most impressive figure.) Everyone was jostling for position, and when the celebrities came down the carpet, it was difficult to see, much less talk, for fear of all the flying elbows and tossed camera equipment. When Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie arrived, the flashbulbs looked like a lightning storm, to borrow a phrase from intrepid VH1 host Aamer Haleem. One grizzled red carpet vet hunched over his microphone and said grimly, “This is paradise.” But for many, it was.

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Jessica Alba Is A Total Hypocrite

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Jessica Alba graced the cover of Elle Magazine this month, and she’s got quite a bit to say about her fame and how she’s perceived — in short, she doesn’t use her body to further her career. While we appreciate the former Maxim cover girl’s views, we only wish they were true. Check out what she had to say below, along with some of her…uh, work.

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