WTF Are You Wearing: Keira Knightly

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keiraa.jpgCelebrities mostly walk the fine line between fashion dos and don’ts with their style experiments. But every now and then they bust out an outfit that qualifies as fashion ‘what the eff were you thinkin’, girlfriend?’ As Fashion Week kicks off here in NYC to honor all things good about fashion, we here at The VH1 Blog are ready to celebrate the fashion horrors that make us feel less bad about those Reebok Pumps we wore in middle school. Today’s fashion flop comes from our gal Keira Knightly, thanks to the drapes of toilet paper she wore to the Atonement premiere. Her skeletal scowl only adds to the “walking dead” look she seems to be going for.

Check out more pics of Keira’s fashion disaster below. [Images: Getty]

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Reporters Chuckle at Owen’s Issues

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Two newscasters on ABC’s World News Now couldn’t stop giggling as they reported about Owen Wilson‘s suicide attempt. They weren’t laughing about the actual attempt – they aren’t that horrible. The anchors just thought it was funny that Owen has an uncle with the last name of Hoe. Now that is hilarious! Of course, they had to apologize for being asses a few days later. It’s a good thing no one watches the news in the middle of the night, or Luke Wilson (or perhaps the more surly Wilson brother Andrew) would have tracked them down at 5AM and kicked their asses.

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Tommy Lee Sexes Up Gal Pal in Public

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tommylee.jpgDear Brandon and Dylan Lee,

I’m sure by now you’ve probably read the report detailing your dad’s table top sexcapades at the Dune nightclub in the Hamptons Sunday night. In case this is news to you, allow me summarize: your dad, Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, waltzed into a club with a blond lady (not your mommy), asked the hostess “Is it cool to have sex in here?” He then proceeded to go for some “‘flat-out [bleep]ing’ on a banquette,” according to the many people who watched. In other words, he knocked boots on a table in front of a club full of people.

Now I can imagine this kind of news may be sort of embarrassing for you guys to read, but it shouldn’t be. Your pops is totally living the rock n’ roll dream and setting you both up for a great booty-filled adult life to come. So don’t be ashamed of your dirrrty roots – embrace them! After all it could be worse – your mom could be shaving her head and boning magicians.

Your friend,
The VH1 Blog

PS: I think it’s totally cool that your parents named you after two of the main characters on the hit 90′s teen drama Beverly Hills 90210. You may have never heard of this show, but it was totally culturally significant for a couple of minutes. [NYP. Image: Getty]

Wednesday: Brad Pitt’s Gettin’ Ugly, Jamie Foxx is a Spoiled Star

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jamiefoxx090507.jpgIt’s Game Over for Shaq and His Wife
The basketball star is splitting from his wife of five years, claiming that the marriage is “irretrievably broken.” Also their difference in height just made things weird. [TMZ]

Brit’s Bodyguard Busted for Battery
The starlet is probably breathing a big sigh of relief that it’s her bodyguard who’s facing six months jail time for beating up a photog and not herself. How could she go that long without Cheetos and cigarettes her kids? [TMZ]

Brad Pitt Whines About His Looks
The hunky actor has finally realized what the rest of us figured out long ago – we get kinda ugly as we age. Pretty soon he’s going to learn that not everyone makes millions of dollars a day for doing nothing, too. [NYDN]

Nicole Kidman Was Secretly Engaged?
Tom Cruise’s ex says she was secretly engaged to someone in between her two marriages, but her face was just too botoxed to ever reveal that she was hiding something. [NYP]

Bossy Jamie Foxx Gets His Diva On
The Ray star barred people from entering and riding on the elevator he was in at a hotel, for no apparent reason other than – he’s famous and can do that kind of s**t. [NYP]

Rock on TV – The Shortlist

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wahlberg.jpg

Jonesing for music on your television set? You’ve come to the right place, rockers! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1’s Rock on TV schedule daily.

The Italian Job, 5 p.m. (EST), FX: Marky Mark Wahlberg stars in this hyper-extended Mini-Cooper commercial, which, as it turns out, was actually a remake. The movie’s about about Vince Chase . . . er, Marky Mark, sorry, as he seeks revenge against the evil Ed Norton for killing Donald Sutherland. Mos Def shows up, too. The movie’s based on the 1969 Michael Caine vehicle of the same name. It’s really good, so long as you’re trapped on a plane and can’t move for like eight hours. Jet Blue wins again! (Sidebar: There’s a sequel coming. Can’t wait for ’09, kids.)

Three Kings, 7:30 p.m. (EST), FX: It’s Marky Mark night on FX, apparently, because this David O. Russell film follows the Mini-Cooper spot above. The flick stars Ice Cube, George Clooney and Spike Jonze (the Beastie Boys’ video director who you might remember from Being John Malkovich) as soldiers in Iraq, arguing over buried treasure. This is one of the best films of the ’90s, and if you haven’t seen it, we recommend you do. You’ll be happier for it.

Diddy’s Annual White Party Pics

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DiddyRap’s third wealthiest entrepreneur (according to Forbes, anyway) threw his annual White Party in the Hamptons last weekend. That’s the sort of shindig that’s attended by anyone who’s anyone — and can wrangle an invitation. Diddy‘s guests included stars of music, screen and design, including Mariah Carey, Brian Michael Cox, Lil’ Kim, Donna Karan and, of course, Diddy’s brood. Meet the next generation of moguls in our gallery below. For all your celebrity-party-pics needs, check out VH1′s Red Hot Red Carpet.

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VIBE Awards: You Choose the Winners!

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RihannaNe-Yo‘s going up against R. Kelly, and Rihanna‘s hoping to knock out Beyonce with her “Umbrella” — at the VIBE Awards, that is. You have the power to decide who wins! VH1 Soul and VIBE magazine have gotten together to broadcast the awards ceremony, selecting from this year’s stellar artists, amazing albums and hit singles the candidates for Hip-Hop Artist of the Year, Breakthrough Artist, and the Song of the Year, among other categories. You, however, will choose the winners, by voting here. Will Timbaland outshine Swizz Beatz for the honor of Producer of the Year? Will Amy “Anti-Rehab” Winehouse send blue-eyed soul singer Robin Thicke packing? Vote now and tune in November 14th when the Caramel Bombshell Eve hosts the show and reveals the winners.

Britney Releases More Mediocre Songs

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britney0904071.jpgWhat can you say about Brit’s newly leaked songs? They’re breathy, boppy, and sound EXACTLY the same. BORING! The lyrics all kind of blend into one, but from what we can gather her new ditties are all about grinding, boys, coming back, getting high, boys, the temperature rising, and jumping and moving – possibly with boys. It’s unfortunate that Brit didn’t instead use her own drama to inspire her new jams. Cheeto Crumbs on the Floor of My Mercedes and God Damn It Sean Stop Crying Or Mommy’s Gonna Beat Your Ass are tunes we could really get down to on the dance floor.

Check out Brit’s newest songs here and here.
Are you dancing or snoozing? [Image: Getty]

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Halle Berry is Gonna Be a Mama

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halle090407_2.jpgThank goodness – we were just starting to get bored staring at Nicole Richie‘s baby bump. Now we have a whole new belly to behold! Apparently the producers of Halle’s new film Tulia had to bail on plans to start shooting in October because the Oscar winner is three months preggers. Check out this pic of the starlet taken last month (with that Ty Pennington dude) – she’s gotta be hiding something under that flowy dress. Take a look and let us know what you think – is Halle Berry knocked up or are we just hungry for a new celebubaby to obsess over? [TMZ. Image: Getty]

Kobe Bryant is Way Richer Than You

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kobe090407.jpgLet’s say you’re a crazy rich basketball player and you want to show some dinky poker champ how balls to the wall rich you are. Would you:

A) Buy five $1,400 bottles of Cristal
B) Buy fifteen bottles of $1,400 Cristal
C) Buy fifteen bottles of $1,400 Cristal and then leave the club with a $21,000 bill
D) All of the above

Check D) my friends, cuz that’s exactly what Kobe Bryant did this weekend. After poker player Antonio “The Magician” Esfandiari laid down the big bucks for two bottles of $1,400 Cristal champagne, Kobe attempted to outshine the card shark and upped the tab to five bottles. The Magician then raised him ten, and the Lakers star came back with an order of fifteen bottles of the pricey booze. He then paid his $21,000 bill and split before even having one sweet sip – of champagne or of victory. Now we kind of get why that wife is still by his side – we’d stick around too if our man was constantly ready to drop some bills to show off. Who cares if he’s constantly involved in some scandal when you can have whole new wardrobe in five minutes! [TMZ. Image: Getty]

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