Sam Rocks No More: Speak Up!

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Sam Makes a Statement

Samantha failed to fake an orgasm for Bret’s superfans, but she clearly rocked his world on the way out the door. Did he make a mistake by giving her the boot? Weigh in now and check back soon for our official Rock of Love recap.

Britney Drops Two New Tracks, Ya’ll!

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britney083107.jpgIt’s finally happening! Two new Britney singles – Gimme More and Cold As Fire – from her next album have leaked, and it’s both exciting and totally freaky at the same time. One minute she’s all hot and sexy and the next minute she sounds like a cracked out chipmunk – but still both tunes are kinda catchy. We’re so desperate for a Britney comeback that we’ll take what we can get. If she wrote a kickass jam about her fugly hair extensions we’d probably be into it.

When not laying down tracks, the singer is also reportedly working her butt off with creeptastic magician Criss Angel on her VMAs performance. A source tells the NY Daily News that “Angel will guide Spears in and out of a series of mirrors, making it seem as though she vanishes and then reappears several times.” Dancers are also going to be attached to harnesses and propelled in the air so they appear as though they are flying. Brit’s already made out with Madonna, fondling a snake and danced in a sparkly, nude-colored body suit. She’s topped everyone else, but can she top herself?

Give a listen to her two singles and let us know what you think. Do the new tunes put you back on the Britney bandwagon?

Gimme More

Cold As Fire

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The Weekly Wrap Up: Owen’s Hospitalized, Vick’s Guilty, Britney’s an Idiot

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Crazy Talk: Celebs Are So Silly

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Each week we gather the kookiest crap to come down the pike: seems like some stars will say anything. This week’s culprits include a beauty queen, a couple of singers, and a former cokehead. Only the best for you, dear readers!

“I personally believe the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa or should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us.” - Miss Teen South Carolina, when asked in the Miss Teen USA pageant why 1/5 of all Americans can’t find our country on a map. [Vh1]

‘I’m right as rain, love you dad’.” – Amy Winehouse (currently vacationing in St. Lucia) in a text message to her father after he asked if she was okay following her latest drugged up debacle. [DListed]

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50 Cent Serves Up Whole New Plate of Beef

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Round 72, part IV of Kanye vs. 50: In an interview with San Diego morning radio show AJ’s Playhouse, 50 told everyone what he really thinks of Kanye — he sucks. 50 also claimed his rival’s label would be padding sales by purchasing 200,000 copies of Kanye’s Graduation, and stating, “he sounds like a robot, he has a robot record.” Given Ye’s penchant for all things Daft Punk, he might not find this to be that insulting. We’re so confused — didn’t the two not-at-all-publicity-hungry rappers quash their beef when they appeared on stage with one another at Screamfest? There are also rumors abounding of a Rolling Stone cover of Kanye and 50, together. So what’s with all the bickering? Is this the greatest marketing coup ever, or the beggining of one of rap’s heaftiest beefs?

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Who Got Biggie?

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sean_biggie2.gifIs there a borderline obese teen in your life with a passing resemblance to the greatest rapper of all time, the Notorious B.I.G.? Can he grunt, breathe heavily through his mouth and train his eyes to point in two different directions? Well, he could be in luck! Despite reports earlier this week suggesting that one-hit-wonder-in-the-making Sean Kingston had landed the role, a producer of the Biggie biopic denies that any such casting choice has been made. “The role for B.I.G is 100 percent open and we are diligently searching for the individual to seize the moment and fill those giant shoes of greatness. Everyone is being considered, including Sean Kingston but no one has been chosen,” says producer Wayne Barrow. In the aforementioned, earlier report, Sean claimed he “nailed” his audition. We hope this turn of events doesn’t make him suicidal. Suicidal. Suicidal. [AllHipHop.com]

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I Hate My Fridays (I Hate My 30s Recap)

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Mandy and Carol
You hear that ticking sound? No, it’s not the fame clock running out on Flavor Flav . . . it’s the sound ovaries make on I Hate My 30s! Last night, two of our favorite females caught baby fever. Mandy decided to procreate with Kyle — a ridiculous decision, she’d have had more luck with a Cabbage Patch doll — while Carol babysat Travis‘ kid, Bickle, who is an unholy terror. Interviews with the lonely ladies after the jump. Can’t you just taste the estrogen?

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Nicole & Joel: Shopping While Preggers

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nicoler2.jpgAfter surviving those 82 minutes in the Lynwood jail, lucky-assed Nicole Richie has gotten back to her normal celeb duties and was shot with boyfriend Joel Madden while shopping and strolling. Love is in the air in these pics, the rocker proudly cupping his progeny. Take a look.

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Oh No They Didn’t: Friday’s Reviews Rage

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balls.jpgEvery week we round up selections from the funniest, most obscene and brutal film criticism out there so that you don’t waste your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: Balls of Fury makes critics mad enough to spit firecrackers. They were expecting Citizen Kane? We don’t know.

Balls of Fury is a joke of a title in search of a movie with a single good joke.” — Entertainment Weekly

Balls of Fury was written by:
a. Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant.
b. A racist monkey.” — LA Weekly [multiple choice test]

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Friday: Rihanna Says She’s Single, Gwen Flaunts Her Goods

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rihanna083107.jpgBrit’s Ex-Manager Feels K-Fed’s Wrath
Larry Rudolph was in hiding for weeks but there’s no stopping the K-Fed subpoena machine. Britney’s former manager will be forced to dish the dirt on the star in court – think she fed him booze to help him fall asleep too? [Us Weekly]

Owen’s Lawyer Denies Pill Popping
The actor’s counsel admits that Wilson slit his wrist in a suicide attempt but says no pills were ingested. It doesn’t really matter what he did or didn’t do – it’s still all just really sad. [WWTDD]

Rihanna Keeps New Love on the DL
The sexy singer tries to play it cool about her new man, saying “we are just friends.” Whatever – he’ll be under her umbrella soon enough. [DListed]

Gwen’s Got the Hot Mom Look Down
The Harajuku girl shows off her goods while vacationing with her fam in Hawaii. Think Kingston will be embarrassed when he realizes his mom’s a MILF? [WWTDD]

Pics: Angelina: From Iraq to Family Time
There’s a reason she stays so skinny – she just jets around and never eats. She’s either a super mom or super crazy. [Just Jared]

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