Bindi Irwin Raps, Makes Us Uncomfortable

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bindi-irwin.jpgWhile you were busy making a sandwich out of leftover turkey and pecan pie, Bindi Irwin – the adorable spawn of the late, great Crocodile Hunter – was busy rapping on the Today Show in a pair of khaki capris. Watch the whole song and dance here and get ready to have a song about grizzlies and pandas stuck in your head for a week. Backed up by a surely depressed posse of male dancers/singers, lil’ Bindi breaks down humankind’s destruction of the animal planet one awkward dance move at a time. If we weren’t so strangely charmed by the girl we’d be totally horrified. But something inside us tells us we have to be nice about this horrible kiddie career move (and whatever other disasters may follow) until she turns 16 – or winds up coked up and riding a croc through the streets of LA. Whatever comes first. [Jezebel. Image: Getty]

Tyra Looks Fierce Doin’ It Without a Wig

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Tyra Banks is the sh*t. Seriously. If you don’t get off on her spazzing about the wonders of vaseline in a mock Oprah moment or testing fake hair with a fan, there is something wrong with you. Trust. Check out our fave Tyra moment above if you’re a non-believer. She brings the world the best in trash TV, while trying to hide it behind some sort of meaningful facade. This makes her kind of brilliant because we buy it all, from the Top Model marathons to the vagina puppet. Yes, Tyra is the master of our TiVo. So it was pretty disappointing to learn that the woman who reps all things fierce (or so she says) is allegedly too freaked out to get it on with dudes because she’s afraid guys won’t like her without her wig on. A source says that “Tyra is a confident woman for the most part, but she is really insecure about her hair. She doesn’t want any guy to see her without her wigs or hair extensions. Tyra feels like guys are with her for her image that they see on TV and in magazines. If one wakes up without her glamorous hair, she’s worried he may not call back!”

We have a hard time believing that the woman who is so comfortable with everything goin’ on “down there” can’t handle her own hair. That’s not our Tyra! If a man is givin’ her beef about how she look sans extensions, girlfriend needs to put on that brown bathing suit and give him a piece of her mind. For the love of all things fierce!

Paris Hilton Dumbs Down China

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parishilton-1126.jpgThis Thanksgiving I gave thanks to Paris Hilton, for being beautiful, sure; but mostly just for being wonderfully stupid. Yes friends, that dead turkey you deep-fried and devoured last Thursday has more brain power than our rich, perfume-hawking princess, and she wants the whole world to know! Paris was in China doing whatever it is that she does for that job of hers (posing, smiling, spending, and swapping fluids with dudes, probably) and was blown away by the stylistic modernity of Shanghai. “Shanghai looks like the future!” she declared of her surroundings, which was, at the time, a Hyatt Hotel where her press conference was being held.

Ladies and gentlemen, Paris Hilton has seen the future and it’s full of polyester, neon lighting, and crappy framed photographs of world landmarks. But rest assured – there will be sleep number beds for all! [Ok! Images: Getty]

Check out more pics below of Paris partying, sightseeing and clutching a stuffed panda bear while roaming the streets in China.

More Driving Don’ts from Britney Spears

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If we told you that Britney ran a stop sign, would you be surprised? How about three stop signs – in a row? Still not surprised, right? Yeah, neither are we. But what’s even less surprising is that there’s video of her dumb driving, and we’ve got it for you above! Because you know that whatever Britney does, it must be documented on tape. Britney waxes her moustache? On tape. Britney clogs the toilet? Gotta film that! No matter how small the dirty deed, regardless of how boring it is, it must be captured for the masses to see! Because as we all know, she does everything wrong. You think her driving is bad? You should see the girl sleep. And at the rate the paparazzi is going, we will, soon. [via Us Weekly]

Kardashians: Waxed Wuzzies & Big Hearts

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The pregnancy scare, the marriage scare, the DUI scare – in recent weeks we’ve seen a few headaches come and go on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. But, in an expression of holiday sweetness, last night the girls jumped into the life of a homeless dude named Shorty, providing him with all the momentary comforts an uppercrust ‘burb chateau (including kopping a feel on Kourtney). After asking the grizzled boomer to not hang out near her fab frock house Dash, Kourt felt pangs of guilt, hit her mom for advice, and drove the guy home where he was shaved, bathed, and dressed in the Saturday clothes of the girls’ step-dad Bruce Jenner. You can draw your own parallels between this outburst of beneficence and the similar tale of baby sister Karamel, Kattapillar, Kutsie-Wootsie, Kendall going to a millionaire’s pound and retrieving a pup after her Olympic star daddy forbid another dog in the house.

Last night’s other big event was the siblings’ raid on brother Robert‘s date with a Playboy hottie. That was typical family fun, but during the prep session, as the ladies were stripping their bro of his chest hair by ripping it from him as he lay on the kitchen table, it was revealed that Kourtney or Khloe do the same on their privileged privates. Mom Kris wasn’t around to add her down-south confessions, and Jenner wasn’t talking. Wax on!

Read more…

Pete Defends Ash from Band of Nobodies

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pete_wentz_ashlee_simpsonThere’s a lot of negative inspiration a band could draw upon to write a nasty song about Ashlee Simpson: the nose, the creepy dad, the bizarre sister. California rock outfit Neurosonic selected Ashlee as their muse for an entirely different reason — her botched 2004 Saturday Night Live appearance and her Billboard award [Ed: WTF?]. The band penned “So Many People” in her honor (Sample lyric: “Am I the only one feeling the itch because they’re giving away the Billboard to some phoney little…”), and while all 280,000 of their MySpace friends might be into it, one person is definitely not.

Whereas in the past overprotective Papa Joe may have gotten involved, boyfriend Pete Wentz went ahead and sent a cease and desist letter to the band, requesting they refrain from playing the song. This Saturday, the band openly ignored the legal order at their New York City show, playing the song, and inviting the crowd to do a jig in the disgraced pop star’s honor.

Quiet Riot Singer Dead in Vegas

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Can’t say whether or not girlz will continue to rock their boyz, but we can say that it’s been reported that Quiet Riot‘s lead vocalist and musical centerpiece, Kevin DuBrow, died over the weekend in Las Vegas. The hair metal outfit ruled the early ’80s with such hard-hitting cheese such as “Cum On, Feel the Noize” and Metal Health. If you were driving a car and pushing a cassette tape into the dashboard back then, chances are good that you were holding Metal Health. It went to the top of charts in 1983. DeBrow’s bandmate Frankie Banali has left this note on his site, and metalmeisters around the world are expressing condolences.

What’s your favorite Quiet Riot song?

Linda Hogan Didn’t Want to Dump the Hulk

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hogans-divorce-2.jpgWait a second, say what? Apparently Linda Hogan, who filed for divorce from her hubby Hulk Hogan just two days before Thanksgiving, is desperate to make her marriage work. So desperate, that she is legally trying to end it. Huh?! A “source” tells TMZ that, “she keeps saying to him ‘Can’t we find a way to make this work?’ She doesn’t want to see the family break up. She really wants to work it out with him. But it is like pushing up against a brick wall. She is heartbroken about it.”

Meanwhile, Hulk is apparently pissed that the world thinks that he heard the bad break up news from a reporter. Not true, another anonymous source reveals! “He actually heard it from his lawyer,” says the spy in the know.”There was no surprise. It had been coming for a while. They have grown to be two different people. When hardships hit them, it really brings them down.” [TMZ. Image: Getty]