Britney: Cherry Poppin’ at Fourteen?

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britney-coverjpg.jpgUs Weekly has Britney back on their cover this week, and amazingly she’s looking a lot better than she has in recent months! Oh wait – a slower look has revealed to us that the girl on the cover is Britney from about 15 years ago. Whoops. They really had our hopes up there for a second! The mag is accusing Britney of faking her squeaky clean, virginal image from years past and alleges that she lost her virginity at the age of 14 to her hometown love Reg Jones. That whole purity thing with Justin Timberlake was supposedly all a scam too, and the mag says Brit and JT were actually knockin’ boots the entire time! Even worse, they dig up some real dirty stuff from her past – like her grandma who shot herself in the chest on the grave of her dead child, for example. Her great uncle Earnest Spears even weighs in on Britney, saying, “She didn’t have a hope of turning out normal.”

While not quite as salacious as a shotgun-wielding, suicidal grandma and an early-aged sex fest, we tend to think Britney’s recent life events have more to do with her current spiral towards disaster than some guy she got with as a teenager. If you consider that:

  1. The girl got famous at 16
  2. Brit traveling with world with no parental supervision whatsoever
  3. She earned gajillions taunting ogling dudes (and little kids) with her abs
  4. She got stuck with a loser husband, two babies, post-partum depression and a divorce in just two years

Well, she seems to be doing reasonably well given the past ten crappy years of her life. [Us Weekly]

The Hills: Whitney Dates the Dull Trainer

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We love Whitney. We love when Whitney works out, we love when Whitney wears lingerie with moccasins to go to a bar, and we REALLY love when Whitney calls herself “awkward.” Because honestly….

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She’s right.

Below the jump: Jaret the trainer puts the moves on Whit, Spencer cringes when he enters a church and Heidi continues Whine Fest 2007!

Read more…

Hottie of the Week: Bai Ling

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Photo_20x9_1 All Bai Ling Pics

There are few “actresses” in Hollywood as fearless as Bai Ling, the Chinese-American performer whose costume choices are frequently insane. As the girls of Go Fug Yourself have extensively illustrated, the actress’s “whimsical” attire on red carpets all over Hollywood is a boon to photographers everywhere, since she often leaves little to the imagination and doesn’t seem to care when her naughtier bits are exposed. That shouldn’t come as any surprise: Consider, for instance, her appearance on the cover of Playboy. That shoot was supposedly to promote Bai Ling’s appearance in Star Wars III, but her scene was cut. The magazine came out anyway. OK, so she’s never going to rise to the top of the celebrity pyramid — no need for Angelina Jolie to watch her back — but for mid-level fashion entertainment, Bai Ling can’t be beat. Unless, say, you’re a fan of the Hustler store or The Robin Byrd Show.

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Kourtney Highjacking Kim’s Hotness?

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Got siblings? Then you’ve got sibling rivalry. Sunday night on the Kardashian show, it was the big sister’s time to leave the popular sister in the dust, gossip-wise. In Vegas, after a night of drinking and groping in the Jacuzzi, Kourtney told the family that she and her beau Scott would be going to the chapel to get some love business done. Oh, cute, you say, what a nice tribute to Britney and that nimrod from her home town that she married a couple years ago in a pre-K-Fed romp through Glitter Gulch.

But Kourtney’s move begs the question. Is she encroaching on Lady Kim’s star status? She doesn’t show off her rump and chest as much as the Playboy model and sex-tape sister does, but she does come from that Kardashian gene pool – meaning, she’s got a hot side.

Weigh In: Any chance that Kourt would trump Kim on the leopard-skin body stocking front? Who do you think is hotter?


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Last Night’s Pics: Vanessa Hudgens & Zac Efron

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Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. Last Night’s Pics puts you in touch with all the action.

The DVD premiere of High School Musical 2 was loaded with stars of the film, including Vanessa Anne Hudgens, Zac Efron, Ashley Tisdale, Monique Coleman, Corbin Bleu, Meghan Martin, Chris Warren Jr., and Olesya Rulin.

Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey, Michael Bloomberg, and Tim Robbins attended a screening of Enchanted in NYC.

And coming in as the most glamorous event of all, Molly Shannon opened the Charmin Deluxe Public Restrooms In Times Square!

Mayer Joins Universe in Timberlake Loving

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john_mayerOnce more, John Mayer has taken to the internet to clear some things up. And after his recent douchebag confession we’re all ears. This time, though, the revelation isn’t quite so groundbreaking. Turns out John Mayer is in love with Justin Timberlake‘s FutureSex/LoveSounds album. Released September 21, 2006. Can’t stop listening to it, apparently. In particular, “I Think She Knows.” “When that track comes on I spend the first 3:30 preparing for the awesomeness to come. Then I yell at the speakers, ‘Make this 4 minutes long and put it on the next disc!’” Mayer states on his blog.

Which begs the question, where the hell has Mayer been for the past 14 months? We know there was that whole Personal Dark Age, where that Simpson cling-on must have sucked all light and culture from your days, but you never went to a bar? A department store? Surely you must have gone to a Target. No one ever mentioned anything, in a comic fashion, about “bringing sexy back” in front of you? Nothing? OK. Well we can only assume that Cammy D must have slipped it into your stereo during your weekend of surreptitious passion.

Yeehaw! Beyonce Butchers Her Own Song

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The Queen B joined country group Sugarland onstage at the American Music Awards on Sunday night to come together singing B’s hit Irreplaceable, and well, just watch. Something is just not quite right – the country twang and banjo riff just doesn’t get the song’s sass right. The performance ends up looking (and sounding) uncomfortable and weird, like someone wearing one of those handmade Destiny’s Child outfits (made by Beyonce’s mom) with a pair of really stiff, brand new cowboy boots. Some things, while awesome on their own, just don’t work that well together, which of course means that we can’t stop watching this video over and over again. To the left, ya’ll! [Crunk and Disorderly]

American Music Awards: Celeb Crazy Talk

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VH1 News caught up with a slew of celebrities on the red carpet outside the American Music Awards and frankly, we’re shocked by what they had to say. It turns out that stars are not just like us, at least not Carrie Underwood, Chris Daughtry and Josh Groban. In the video above, Carrie offers a unique way to clean up after her dog, Chris explains his fascination with whatever’s inside Robert Plant’s pants, and Josh complains vociferously about how many people want to touch his hair. Count us out, Josh: We think your hair does fine all on its own.