Nicole Richie’s B*tchy Baby Shower

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We were excited to the discover the invitation Save the Date to Nicole Richie‘s baby shower, taking place this Sunday at a Beverly Hills mansion. It’s funny how different it was from the invitation Nicole sent for her Memorial Day party just six short months ago! For one thing, her shower invite is a whole lot classier than that Blackberry-sent email, and her upcoming bash comes complete with celebrity hosts (ie: “loving friends”), a fancy celeb DJ, and delicious foods such as sushi and lobster. Long gone are the threats of a weigh-in at the entrance and partying until the pals wake up with their pants “ripped open at the seams.” Yup, getting knocked up can almost make a party girl forget her reckless past, which is why we like to remember it as much as we can. Shots for everyone (except the mom to be, obvs)!

Sean Connery Knocked Boots at 8-Years Old

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seanconnery.jpgNo, that guy is not my grandfather. It’s the Scottish sultan of sex, Sean Connery. Young’ins might not be familiar with his fine acting resume, but he’s best known as the original James Bond and the dude who first said “You’re the man now, dog.” Also, he’s damn sexy at just about every age. Which explains why it’s totally plausible that Sean lost his virginity at the age of eight, which is alleged in the new book “Where Do Nudists Keep Their Hankies?” Connery actually admits it, saying “I was 8, but I can’t recall with whom.” Spoken like a true aging pimp. You’re still the man, old dawg.

To give you a little perspective on what age group we’re talking about, we’ve outlined a few stars of Young Hollywood and matched them with older celebs who lost it at their age. Try not to gag. [Images: Getty/CBS]

11-dakona-elle-fanning.jpgHey, it’s Dakota Fanning, 13 going on 14, and her lil sis Elle, age 9! Boning at Dakota’s age: Clint Eastwood, David Duchovny, Bruce Willis. Judging from the fact that these girls won’t be hot for another ten years, this feels fairly wrong.

22-abigailbreslin.jpgAbigail Breslin, of Little Miss Sunshine fame, is so fresh-faced and adorable right? She’ll be 12 in April, which is when Don Johnson got his first taste of the lady snacks! The still-sexy Johnny Depp and Jon Bon Jovi went for it at 13.

33-jadensmith.jpgIt’s Will Smith‘s mini-me, son Jaden! The Pursuit of Happyness starling clocks in at 9 years, so he’s OLDER than Sean Connery was for his first time. Something is really starting to feel wrong about all this! Let’s see what 8-year olds we can dig up here…

44-jimmy.jpgBut of course – little Jimmy from Kid Nation! The adorable munchkin stole our cold hearts on the premiere of that borderline abusive show, but our love was cut short when he wailed, bailed and went home. The reason – homesickness, cuz ya know, the kid’s 8-years old. Gross Connery. Real gross.

Behind The Shot: Episode 2 Recap

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Are you stoked for this Sunday’s episode of The Shot? Last week’s marked a turning point for reality TV and the medium of television in general, as we were given a close-up of a camel peeing. Not since Mini-Me relieved himself on a wall during the fourth season of The Surreal Life have we felt so violated — but in a good way. And therein lies the core of the show, which pits 10 up-and-coming fashion photographers against each other for the chance to win $100,000, a spread in Marie Claire, and a Victoria’s Secret campaign — all the while being judged by a he-Tyra with an Australian accent, Russell James. Catch up on what you missed last week: Check the recap below.

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Britney Loves the Sound of Toes Crunching

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Chris Crocker was right about leaving Britney alone. But it’s not because she’s a victim and needs some space; rather it’s because she’ll turn your feet into gravel with her car tires. Britney was out last night pulling into the Four Seasons hotel in Los Angeles, when one photographer refused to heed the warnings of “Back off the drive! “As Brit rolled along, his foot managed to get wedged under her tire as he snapped pics and she drove right over that mess. You can tell in the vid that Britney is freaked out and can barely see, so it’s no wonder someone got hurt. The guy was later spotted showing off some sort of cast like contraption, but we can’t really feel that bad for him. Britney may be a bad driver (among other things), but this is one situation in which she’s actually not to blame. Now if she can only fix all that stuff with her lips drugs kids – er, everything. [Popdirt]

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Remembering VSPOT

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It has come to our attention, via Google Inc., Yahoo! Inc. and the Microsoft Corp., that “VSPOT” has been the most searched word on the Internet for the last few days. In fact, people from nearly every corner of the world except China1 searched with such an insatiable appetite for VSPOT information that the Internet came to a crawl yesterday around 5PM EST. We apologize for the inconvenience. Allow us to explain. Read more…

About Last Night: Ultra Fresh Party Pics

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Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. About Last Night puts you in touch with all the action.

Hayden Panettiere and Kristen Bell struck poses with Fabio at the Grand Opening Of Lamborghini Calabasas. Jesse Spencer of House was also among the celebs drooling over the luxury sports cars.

Jessica Alba, Hayden Christensen, and Rachel Bilson attended the Awake premiere presented by the New York Observer.

Celebs at the premiere of The Diving Bell and the Butterfly included Chloe Sevigny, Petra Nemcova, Adrien Brody, Emmanuelle Seigner, and John Leguizamo.

Mary Love

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mary_j_blige_on_gay_fans.jpgThe gays love Mary J. Blige and Mary loves the gays, the diva reveals in the upcoming issue of The Advocate. “I’ve never been a judgmental person because I have been through so much hell myself,” says the no-more-drama queen. However, she reserves no judgment for her hip-hop peers who don’t share her tolerant point of view. On homophobia in hip-hop, Mary says:

I’ve heard a couple of guys say foul things, and those guys are not around me anymore because when they say things like that, I’m looking at them like, What makes you so scared? You don’t know who you are? I guess it all boils down to them not being sure about themselves and what they wanna do, whoever that is. I won’t say any names. And I don’t dislike them or anything—it just makes me wonder about them period. ’Cause if you’re not sure about that, then you ain’t sure about a lotta things!

Watch out, homophobes: hell has no wrath like Mary scorned. She may act demure now, but you can tell by listening to her old music that she is not afraid to get ugly on you. [The Advocate via Towleroad / Image: Getty]

Amy Crumbles: “Wait Til My Husband Gets Out”

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amy_winehouseRecently rehabbed Amy Winehouse is back onstage, but during the inaugural show of her 17-date tour, the bee-hived belter lost it — slurring her speech, threatening the audience and knocking into equipment. After appearing on stage 30 minutes late, the rehab-averse singer dedicated several songs to her recently incarcerated husband, Blake Fielder-Civil. When the audience tired of her constant references to Fielder-Civil (she changed “baby” to “Blakey” in some songs), Winehouse then addressed the audience as “monkey c*nts” and said, “Just wait till my husband gets out of incarceration. And I mean that.” Reviews from the show state that Winehouse forgot several lyrics to her songs and spent much of the time crying. British tabloid The Sun has the disastrous footage of the U.K.’s Britney Spears.

Trampled Under Foot: Zep’s Hidden Gems

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Certain Led Zeppelin tunes are played to death, and others languish in the background. Here are 10 that deserve to be spun a bit more often then they usually are. Whether you’re making a last ditch attempt to win tickets to the band’s reunion show, or getting psyched for next Tuesday’s DVD release of The Song Remains the Same, or hanging out watching earth-shaking videos, you should get familiar with the following 10 tunes. By the way, which Zep track do you think deserves more dap?

1. Black Mountain Side
This acoustic ditty from the band’s first album vibes like a jukebox raga, illustrating Jimmy Page’s other interest besides the blues: Celtic folk tunes. Played by Bert Jansch, the endlessly rippling tune was called “Blackwaterside.”

2. Living Loving Maid
We all know that the band liked to stretch the hell out of its songs – melodrama was its middle name. But for every “Dazed and Confused” there was a compact ass-kicker. The first album had “Communication Breakdown.” On the second, it’s this nugget.

3. Celebration Day
It’s the giddy side of the blues, with Plant singing the praises of New York street scenes and Page working the slide guitar like it was his own private joystick. Good helium vocals by the blond god on this III track.

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Natalie Portman Botches Soulja Boy Dance

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Natalie Portman: so sweet, so cute, so painfully awkward! Here she is on TRL, promoting her new movie when suddenly she gets thrown into learning the Soulja Boy dance with Soulja Boy as teacher, natch. Natalie’s a good sport about it, even if she can’t quite get her little legs to move though. At she looked awesome while flopping around on-stage attempting to do the superman. White dress and red shoes? Perfection! [MTV]

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