Wednesday: Usher’s Intimate Wedding; Britney Needs a Body Double

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usher080807.jpgUsher: My Wedding Was Beautiful
The singer describes his tiny wedding as “beautiful and private,” and was followed by an “intimate dinner.” Did they serve drama instead of cake? [Us Weekly]

Courtney Love’s Cupcake Diet
The emaciated rocker claims she’s gained ten pounds by eating cupcakes. That sounds just as healthy as losing weight by eating nothing. [People]

Kate Hudson’s Got a New Flame
The single mom has been spotted getting cozy with funny guy and Punk’d actor Dax Shephard. We’re not totally sure who he is, but he’s hunky enough to be a big step up from Owen Wilson. [A Socialite's Life]

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The Pick-Up Artist Episode 1 Recap

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The Pick Up Artist
There is a man who few outside the “seduction community” are aware of, but VH1 has sought him out to help eight unlucky-in-love bachelors find the women of their dreams. Or at least become capable of approaching a girl without sweating profusely and stuttering uncontrollably. This man’s name is Mystery, and while he may look like a cross between a cowboy and a vampire, he is quite successful with the ladies.

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Blog Best-Of: Fiddy’s Fight

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50_links.jpg50 Cent accepts Kanye West‘s challenge to a televised debate over whose upcoming album is better. They can air masturbation on TV now? [A Socialite's Life]

- Is that Gwyneth Paltrow or a nectarine with eyebrows and a weave the latest cover of W? Only the editors know for sure! [Dlisted]

- Britney Spears runs around in a see-through dress. Overexposed, her ass. Or wait, make that, “Overexposed: her ass.” [CityRag]

- Jermaine Jackson gets criticized for his children’s unorthodox sleeping arrangements. You wouldn’t understand: it’s a Jackson thing. [Crunk + Disorderly]

- Tom Cruise wants to learn British slang. He’ll be shocked and maybe a little delighted to learn that “poof” has nothing to do with smoke. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Image credit: Getty

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Sienna and Diddy Do It Up in Ibiza

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DiddyOh Diddy, we could all learn a little something from you on how to be a player. Even in a pair of grey sweat-shorts you still get the ladies! The newly single star was back in the platonic arms of an old platonic flame, that enticing Brit Sienna Miller. The are they/aren’t they pair partied at the DC-10 club in Ibiza, Spain late into the night and then visited Sienna’s villa with an entourage. And you know what that means (cue sexy 70′s porno music)!

Check out pics of the partying pair here and here. [PopSugar. Image: Getty]

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Lindsay Living the Good Life in Rehab – Again

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lindsay080707.jpgIs it us, or do Lindsay’s rehab spots just keep getting cushier? All the treatment places she holes up in – Wonderland, Promises – sound more like daycare centers than a place for adults to kick addictions. Now she’s apparently up for round three at the Cirque Lodge, which judging from pics, looks like a five star wilderness palace. A stint at this joint supposedly starts at $30,000 and boasts in-room jacuzzis and fireplaces, horseback riding, massage, and hydro therapy, and of course, a hair salon with manicures. So she can repair the nails she once used to cut up coke with, presumably. Here’s what a day in the life of re-rehabbing Lilo must look like:

12 PM: Wake up.
2 PM: Wake up for real.
2:15 PM: Order an omelet of quail eggs, fresh goat’s cheese, hand picked basil and gold flakes from room service.
3:00 PM: Pet a horse.
3:05 PM: Get manicure and massage to rid body of horse smell.
4:00 PM: Make an “I Hate Paris Hilton” collage in art therapy class from old Us Weekly magazines.
5: 00 PM: Group therapy shopping spree.
7:00 PM: Pick a buffalo out on the horizon, have chef hunt it for dinner.
7:45 PM: Yell at chef because the buffalo isn’t tender enough, god damn it.
7:46 PM: Lick plate clean.
8:30 PM: Jacuzzi party!
9:00 PM: In bed in time for So You Think You Can Dance.

[The Insider/Getty]

Click the thumbnails below to see them full size.

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Denise Richards Wants a Kid with Her Ex

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denisecharlie080707.jpgJust a normal day of looniness in La La Land: Charlie Sheen revealed yesterday that his ex-wife Denise Richards has asked him to help her get pregnant with a child – even though they’re getting a divorce. Apparently she made “a request for a donation,” which the Two and a Half Men star is now using in his custody battle with his ex-wife. Ewww – it’s like she wants a little party favor to remind her of all their good times. Couldn’t she get some other Hollywood schlub to volunteer for the job? That’s like asking your dog to crap in the house…or something equally as wrong. Denise of course denies it, but her ex claim to have the request in writing. When asked if he’d comply, Sheen replied, “I would sooner, in exactly what I’m wearing, walk on the surface of the moon. Does that answer it?”

Yep. Yep it does. But here’s an astronaut helmet, just in case. [Image: Getty]

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Papa Knowles: SHUT UP.

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beyonce_daddy.jpg Beyoncé‘s meddling father, Matthew Knowles, is springing to his daughter’s defense over a few disparaging words. It seems that he took exception to the New York Daily News‘ review of his daughter’s show that took place this weekend at Madison Square Garden — the News‘ Jim Farber said the show left him feeling “pummeled” and compared Bey to a “bionic woman.” Though Farber’s words are hardly scathing, Matthew still found it necessary to respond, reportedly shooting off an email to the News that read:

After over 60 dates and 20 countries, only you have chosen to write a negative review!

First of all, he’s wrong: the review that ran in the New York Post was much more savage, saying Bey “screeched,” calling her a “snooze” during the ballads and suggesting that lip-synching would have been a preferable alternative to her “cringe-inducing” rendition of “Ring the Alarm.” Harsh! But second of all: SHUT UP, MATTHEW KNOWLES. For the most part, his story checks out — the reviews of The Beyoncé Experience have been, by and large, glowing. So a few people didn’t think so: who cares? His daughter’s been ruling pop music for almost a decade — does he really need a reminder that not everyone’s going to enjoy her work? And really, how bad can you feel for someone who could dry their tears with crisp $100 dollar bills and think nothing of it? [New York Daily News / Image credit: Getty]

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The Rock Life Recap – Episodes 1 & 2

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The Rock Life
This is the story of, Whitestarr, a band given the heady charge of resurrecting rock n’ roll. In addition to the obstacles an up-and-coming band might face, the task proves even more difficult, given that rock hasn’t necessarily died. Our scene is set in picturesque Malibu, California, where the band, who put out a record on Atlantic three years ago, have been honing their craft, living the privileged life of rock stars, without the whole being rock stars part.
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Beckhams Launch His and Her Fragrances: Just What We Don’t Need

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beckhams080707.jpgWho put the idea in celebrities’ heads that we want junky products with their names and faces all over the packaging? I can’t think of anything I need less than his and her fragrances from a smelly soccer player and his bone n’ boob wife (okay – and a few things that involve medical attention). But the couple’s perfumes are on the way to the States, and “industry analysts” estimate that the ‘Intimately Beckham’ fragances (you probably just puked a little when you heard that name) and David’s other cologne, ‘Instinct by David Beckham,’ will generate $100 million in worldwide sales in this year alone. You just puked again, huh. Me too. Maybe perfume is just the start for Posh n’ Becks! Here are some other products the couple could hawk that America probably wouldn’t mine splurging on:

  • Discreetly Beckham: His and Her Bikini Line Wax
  • Harmoniously Beckham: His and Her New Age Relaxation CDs
  • Deceitfully Beckham: His and Her Private Cell Phones and Secret Email Addresses for Stress Free Adultery [E Online. Image: Getty]

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