Tila Tequila and the Awful, Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Mistake (Finale Recap)

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Tila Tequila, we, the staff of VH1 Digital, humbly submit to you the following: We stuck with you, through thick and thin, and no one can deny it. We supported you long past the point of any sane person supporting anyone on a reality TV series. When your judgment was questionable, we allowed you the benefit of our doubt. When your choices displeased you, when they brought you to tears, we sat here in our offices and told each other that it was OK, that you were just going through a phase, that sooner or later you’d stop wearing shimmery outfits fashioned from hankies and learn that clothing wasn’t some evil mainstream instrument designed to rid you of your charisma. We thought you’d learn. We had high hopes.

Well, Tila, it’s over.

How on earth could you have chosen Bobby? Have you lost your mind? Are you blind? What’s wrong with you? Moreover, what’s wrong with us? How could we have believed in you?

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Lindsay: Living with her Lesbian Lover?

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lindsaylohan-1219.jpgFirst La Lohan was linked to DJ/BFF Samantha Ronson, and now she has a new gal pal that is starting rumors. Forget Riley Giles or her new mystery boyfriend, Linds has been spending all her quality time with some chick named Courtenay Semel, daughter of Yahoo’s former CEO. Well, at least Court can help Lindsay out in her time of financial strife, right? The pair were spotted at a party hosted by “Power Lesbian” Jeanette Longoria (who is so powerful that we have no idea who she is) and “held hands and were with each other the whole time,” said a source. While we aren’t so sure these things necessarily indicate that they’re in a full on committed and sexual partnership, it is kind of hetero dude/Maxim fantasy hot. But maybe Lindsay just needed a little support being out on the town again. Another party-goer revealed that, “It was the first time she’s seen a lot of people from her past life and she seemed socially awkward – like she was sticking by Courtenay for support.”

Looks like Lindsay’s new friend’s got the ill nay-nay! Eh, that doesn’t really work. [NY Post]

Britney’s Worst Year Ever: July

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You were there through the bad driving, the head-shaving, and the Criss Angel thing. It’s been a tough year for our girl. No one could have imagined a mere 12 months ago that she’d create such glorious new nonsense every week. Some of the craziness escapes you? Come back every day: We’re counting down the events that made up the Year in Britney.

July 5 - I’m Sorry Ya’ll – Britney gets her pen busy again and writes an apology to X17 for attacking them with an umbrella back in February. She was just practicing for a role, ya’ll! Whoops. [Radar]

July 12 - Just A Client – Rumors spread like bad acne that Britney was getting busy with her hunky bodyguard and manny, Daimon Shippen. Sadly for our girl Brit, there was nothing sexy going on – besides Daimon’s chiseled good looks. [People]

July 20Gimme Morbid - Hot damn! Britney finally went to work on the first video from her album for the single Gimme More, and she looked more like a widow than a video ho. Decked out in all black (including her fake hair) the singer allegedly spent most of the shoot grinding on the on-set stripper poles and pissing everyone off. She is Britney, bitches. [The Blemish]

July 23Not OK! – Melt downs! Frequent bathroom visits! Mounds of dog poop on designer dresses! Those were the rumors swirling around Britney’s infamous OK! Magazine cover shoot, that infamously ended when she walked out with thousands of clothing owned by the rag. OK! even sold Britney out in the end, dishing on the disastrous shoot to sell the story. [TMZ]

July 26What Happens in Vegas – Whoops! Britney accidentally took off for Vegas with her kids in tow, even though legally she was not permitted to leave the state with the babies without K-Fed’s consent. The bonehead move also set the ball rolling for K-Fed’s custody fight against his ex, who just loves to get into trouble behind the wheel. [AccessHollywood]

2007′s Craziest: Lindsay Goes Loco

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Some gossip stories are too big to forget. We’re counting down the 20 biggest, baddest, and most ridiculous celeb scandals of the year. You’ll get a new one posted every day.

It was a rough year for our favorite firecrotch. She spent about half of it in and out of rehab, and hit rock bottom a few times through out 2007, like her coke-fueled car crash, for starters. But her worst moment of all came just weeks after being released from Promises treatment center in Malibu. After proudly flaunting an alcohol-sensing ankle bracelet around LA, Lohan hopped off the wagon at a party and went into a rage after her assistant abruptly quit. The actress stole a car belonging to the assistant’s boyfriend (with three guys already in it) and then chased down her former employee, who was driving in a different vehicle with her mother. The girl got so scared she called the cops on Linds, who tried to blame the spectacle on her innocent cohorts, claiming, “I wasn’t driving. The black kid was driving.

We all know what happened next – cops found coke in her pants pocket, she got arrested, and Linds eventually hustled her ass to another rehab facility – where she stayed for months in an attempt to heal. So far she seems to be back on track – though her fake tan and cheesy hair are back, the booze seems to be gone for now. You go, LiLo!

Lily Allen’s Surprise Pregnancy

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lily-allen.jpgApparently celebrities have everything they could ever want – except birth control! British songstress Lily Allen is expecting a baby with her boyfriend of three months, 37-year old Ed Simon of the Chemical Brothers. The pregnancy appears to be a bit of a surprise for the 22-year old Allen, who was spotted smoking just a couple of weeks ago. Her rep confirmed the baby news, saying “I am pleased to confirm that Lily and Ed are expecting their first baby. The health of Lily and her child is their paramount concern. As the pregnancy is at such an early stage, the couple will be making no further comment, but they are obviously thrilled by the news.”

Really? All Lily’s been doing lately is talking about how she loves being newly skinny thanks to a new diet put in place to help her heart murmur. Looks like she can go back to pigging out now! The singer said in November that she’d be ready to retire at 25, because her current career, “doesn’t leave time for what’s important. Like having a family.” So she’s off by three years, but her early retirement plan sounds perfect! We look forward to her keeping us all updated on her pregnancy via some crazy MySpace blog posts.

Britney’s 16-Year Old Sister is Knocked Up!

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jamielynn.jpgMerry Christmas, America! Just when you thought you’d be stuck reading about what boring Brad Pitt is getting his kids for Christmas, Jamie-Lynn Spears goes and outdoes her crazy older sister. It’s the best present we’ve ever gotten! More news will surely come in today, but here’s the most recent word on Jamie-Lynn’s sitch:

  • She revealed her pregnancy to her mom a week before Thanksgiving. She freaked for a week and was then supportive. Then, this week, she spilled the beans to OK! Magazine.
  • The father is her 19-year old live-in boyfriend, Casey Aldridge.
  • J-L is planning on raising her kid in Louisiana, “so it can have a normal family life.” Already she is wiser than her big sis.
  • Nickelodeon – which is home to her show Zoey 101 – said, “We respect Jamie Lynn’s decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn’s well being.”
  • Mom Lynne’s upcoming Christian book on parenting is now on hold. Obviously.
  • The best part of all is that BRITNEY DIDN’T KNOW ( and it’s all caught on tape)! It looks like Brit found out when the rest of the world did – last night. When the paps asked her about it while out shopping, she replied, “My sister’s not pregnant!” At least she will make an amazing crazy aunt.

Wednesday: Paris Wants a Pet Smurf

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parishilton.jpgNo Charges for Amy Winehouse – Yet
Though she may end up in the slammer eventually, Amy was arrested by appointment and released after being questioned by London police. [NYDN]

Paris Offers to Adopt Little People
Paris spotted some performers dressed as smurfs and asked if she could take them home to LA. She always thinks of the little people! [MSNBC]

J. Lo Gets Legal About Failed Fashion Line
Lopez is suing her fashion partner after her line Sweetface flopped. She has no one to blame but her bad fashion sense! [NYDN]

Destiny’s Child: Ready for Reunion?
Kelly Rowland misses performing with her gal pals and said she hopes they take to the stage together again. But is it because she needs some cash for her bills, bills bills? [DListed]

K-Fed Gets His Way in Court
Brit’s not gettin’ no changes in her custody until she sits for her deposition next year. Maybe she should have hired Kevin’s legal eagles? They seem to be getting the job done. [TMZ]

Smartest Model‘s Mary Alice Stephenson: V.J. Won, Fair and Square

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Mary Alice Stephenson, co-host of America’s Most Smartest Model, is a fashion industry insider whose smart looks and smart tongue control her show’s pretty people. The show’s over, folks, and V.J. won. Here’s what Mary Alice had to say about V.J.’s achievement, Andre’s attempt, and how the spoils go to the victor. Honi soit qui mal y pense!

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