Stars Wars + Trumpet x 1985 = Genius

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Sometimes you see something on the internet that leaves you speechless in a giggly, horrified way. This is one of those things. Watch this video. Then, watch it again. And again. Stare in awe at the sparkly unitard and silver ballet flats. Cringe at the mid-song robot jig. Marvel at the moment when her instrument becomes a gun as she acts out a “scene” from Star Wars. And most importantly, relax and enjoy the sweet off-key wail of her trumpet and smile, knowing that somewhere Stacey Hedger now has a clan of kids who know how to use YouTube. [via BWE]

Bobby Brown’s Health is His Prerogative

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bobbybrown.jpgPoor Bobby Brown! The former boy bander apparently suffered a mild heart attack yesterday, which his rep said was “attributed to stress and diet.” Oddly enough, Bobby went on the radio that day and denied the whole thing, saying “None of it’s true. I don’t know where the heart attack thing came from – I’m just fine.” Er…okay? Then why are there these pics of Bobby taken in the hospital, where he allegedly filmed a goodbye video to his family? Definitely looks fine to us!

So what could have caused his mysterious, possibly life-threatening ailment? His representative claimed stress and diet, so there must be something going on for Bobby to freak out over. I guess we’ll just have to figure it our on our own. Is it…

  • More sexy pics of Bobbi Kristina popping up all over the internet?
  • Osama Bin Laden coming after him and Whitney again?
  • Superhead revealing more secrets about how she and Bobby didn’t sleep together?
  • That he’s still stressed out about his decision to leave New Edition?

Then again, maybe Bobby’s just been eating too many donuts. [Getty]

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Blog Best-Of: Mary’s Mushroom

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mary_links2.jpg- Mary J. Blige talks about her new album in an online video. More crucially, without saying a word she answers the age-old question: “What happened to Tootie Ramsey’s hair?” [CONCRETELOOP]

- Lindsay Lohan and her new man go out shopping, but keep a distance between themselves. What, he can’t stand her already? Shocker! [Dlisted]

- Elizabeth Taylor is officially a crazy old lady. Finally, she’s found her calling. [CityRag]

- Beyoncé rocks a turban…in public! What is she, Gloria F***ing Swanson? [Crunk + Disorderly]

- Britney Spears‘ vagina is like the antithesis of a Pollack painting: the more you look at it, the less interesting it becomes. [Egotastic!]

Lindsay Gives Her Manager Mom the Boot

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lohans.jpgDear Mom,

You may have read in one of the tabloids that I’m going to fire you as my manager. I want to make sure you know that this is absolutely NOT TRUE! You’re an awesome manager – so what if Herbie Fully Loaded flopped. And that movie where I was the legless stripper didn’t do to well either, but hey, you’re still learning! I think you’re great at managing my career, and I look forward to working with you long after I leave rehab.

That being said, I am laying your ass off – as my mom. Seriously Dina (moving forward, I will be using your first name only) you effing suck at this mothering stuff! I mean – have you seen some of the outfits you let me leave the house in? And who said it was okay for me to date a 24-year old when I was like, 12? YOU! Mom, that was so crazy. So look. I’m done with you. I’m off to go track down Britney Spears’ mom and see if she wants a daughter who is actually successful. See you at the office.

Your client,

Lindsay M. Lohan

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Laff + Learn: “Pop Up Video” Returns

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How many famous “Feists” are there? Which breed of dogs are “yappy”? What are some “hopes” that all teenagers share? Can you define the term “Jazz Hands”? You can’t answer any of these questions? C’mon, you need to put some Pop on your celly.

A decade ago VH1′s Pop-Up Video franchise wooed millions with its blend of cool music clips and odd-logic factoids. Now its back, designed to deliver info tidbits while you enjoy one of your fave artists. Feist‘s “1234,” Gwen‘s “Hollaback Girl,” Fall Out Boy‘s “Thnks fr th Mmrs” – there are plenty to choose from. The Beastie Boys will hip you to the philosophy of John Locke and Jay-Z will tell you about the loot made by lady pimps. Pop Up Video To Go – make your phone a bit more fun.

Usher to Album Release Date: Meh!

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Usher‘s next album, the follow-up to his gazillion-selling 2004 disc Confessions, was set to drop later this year (you know, when every other artist in the history of recorded sound is set to release their new album in an attempt to cash in on the holiday-buying frenzy). However, word is that it’s been delayed till 2008. The official unofficial story is that Usher’s pregnant wife, Tameka Foster, has him whipped — she’s demanding that he cater to her and their coming child (due later this year) before he devotes himself to the necessary promotion of his album.

That a tidy tale that serves to further vilify Tameka (she’s already hated by fans), but what if the problem lies not in Tameka’s demands, but in Usher’s producer Jermaine Dupri?

Read more…

The End of Music As We Know It (And We Feel Fine)

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madonna4.jpgThis just might be the week the music industry changes forever. Fresh on the heels of Radiohead digitally releasing their seventh album, In Rainbows, and offering fans the chance to pay whatever they want for the download, Madonna is reportedly close to leaving her long-time home, Warner Brothers, to sign with Live Nation. If you’ve been to a stadium show any time recently, you’ll probably recognize Live Nation’s name — they’re a concert-promoting business, and they’re betting $100 million on Madonna’s power as a performer (the Material Girl gets half up front). It’s a solid bet: Her tour last year grossed about $195 million. Even if she’s pushing the big Five-O, Madonna’s still money in the bank. This will make her only the latest in a long string of artists to have bucked tradition in favor of something weirder and more dynamic. We refer you to:

  • The Eagles (yes, we actually just wrote the words The Eagles in a VH1 blog) are selling their new album directly to Wal-Mart.
  • Not only did Starbucks release Paul McCartney’s latest, the coffee conglomerate also seduced Sonic Youth. The New York art rockers, whose contract is up with Geffen, will release Hits Are For Squares exclusively through the beanery.
  • Dissatisfied with simply forgiving Third World debt and editing Vanity Fair, Bono really is writing the Broadway musical version of Spider-Man.
  • Rufus Wainwright wants to be Judy Garland, and he’s hellbent on making it happen.
  • Gina Gershon released an album. Crazy times!

Heidi and Spencer Fake It on The Hills

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heidispencer1011.jpgGet your tissues out, Hills fans, because here’s a depressing tidbit that wasn’t included in Monday night’s crapola cram session: The Hills is one big sexy pile of fake. Admit it – you already knew this but just couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge the (fake) truth. Sadly, our fave reality show is as made up as Santa Claus – just in a pair of Ray Bans with a lovely Louis Vuitton bag. Check out these pics taken yesterday of Heidi and Spencer staging an airport drop off and pick up at LAX. They change shirts to make it look like two different occasions, but the rest of their outfits are exactly the same.

This should come as no surprise, especially when the show’s executive producer has basically revealed that the show is staged. But rest assured dear fans, everything Lo does is 100% real, baby! There’s nothing fake about the way she says “Justin Bobby” or flashes her crotch for the cameras. She can’t help but be real – real effing nuts. Team Lo(co)! [Getty]

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Help Britney Design Blackout

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With news that Britney Spears‘ label has moved up the release of her much-anticipated fifth album Blackout, the Internets are ablaze with suspected album covers. Given the amount of speculation and Britney’s recent struggles, we put together a few of our own suggestions and invite you to do the same. E-mail creations to vh1blog@vh1.com, and we’ll add submissions to this post as they are received.

From the Internet:
Britney_Spears

None of these take into consideration that her album title (which refers to “blocking out negativity and embracing life fully” according to her record label) may go down as the most ironic in the history of recorded music, given the star’s stints in rehab and her rumored drug and alcohol addiction.

We’re thinking the album title has more to do with what she does each evening, or what she’s done to the unburned photographs in the family album. Regardless of the title, we’re still thinking it’ll do better than “Popozao.”

From the VH1 Blog:
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From our readers:
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Brit Wants a Slumber Party with her Babies

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britneypinkeeye.jpgPillow fights! Popcorn! Watching Pretty Woman together and giggling! Brit wants her babies to sleep over, and her lawyers are going to court this morning (yes, Britney skipped the hearing again) to beg the judge for some baby time. Brit currently is only allowed monitored daytime visits, but she’s apparently passed a few drug tests and has now decided that she’s a fit mom. Her request seems pretty reasonable to us. Her worst offense is really this horrible fur coat she rocked last night, when she went out and only drank water. So adult! You go girl!

K-Fed’s lawyer is obviously not having Brit’s request for more sleepovers, and used some seriously mean legal language to tell her so. Yet even though the court case has divided the family, they are all still connected through one thing. Nooooo, not their love of Happy Meals. Britney, Kevin, Sean P and Jayden J all have PINK EYE! Maybe that parenting coach can advise this family to wash their hands more. [Getty]

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