Reviews Rage: The Hottie & the Nottie

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Occasionally we are so stunned by a film’s ability to disgust critics that we can’t help but report their comments. Such is the case with the new Paris Hilton vehicle, The Hottie & the Nottie. The film is about an alluring Los Angeles woman (Hilton) whose best friend is ugly. In order to make Paris his, a slovenly nerd must find someone desperate enough to sleep with her friend. Not surprisingly, the film is a complete train wreck. We suspect it’s a money-laundering scheme. If we were savvier people, we could tell you that works.

“One would think that after increasingly embarrassing forays into reality television, the Internet and the penitentiary, Paris Hilton might have taken a moment to reflect on her choices. Or perhaps not: with The Hottie & the Nottie Ms. Hilton proves yet again that introspection — not to mention shame — is as alien to her as a life without paparazzi.” — The New York Times

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Party Time: Gearing Up for the Grammys

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Lots of parties have been thrown this week as bigwigs gear up for music’s big night. In the last 72 hours, In Style magazine, Fuse TV, and the Grammy Foundation have hosted shindigs to celebrate everything from hip-hop to doom metal.

Pre-Grammy party-goers included Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, Musiq Soulchild, Natasha Bedingfield, Paris Hilton, Pete Wentz, Ashlee Simpson, Mark Ronson, Taye Diggs, Chris Daughtry, Adam Levine, Kat Von D, John Mayer, Chrisette Michele, and John Fogerty.

Prep yourself for Sunday night’s show by clicking here.

Grammys Gossip: Who’s In, Who’s Out, And What They’ll Wear

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* Amy Winehouse has been a denied a visa and will not be attending this Sunday’s Grammy Awards. The singer, who recently entered rehab and was planning on attending the ceremony, will perform via satellite. “I’m really sorry I can’t be there but I appreciate that I’m being given a second chance via satellite,” Amy told UsWeekly.

* Hayley Williams and her band Paramore are headed to the Grammys, but don’t think they’ll forsake their punk roots and go glam for the event: “We’ve never worked with a stylist before, so this is a different world from what we’re used to. We don’t want to abandon our background — like I come out there wearing a gown. We’re going to have fun with it.” Williams thinks the band, up for the Best New Artist Grammy, has a shot at winning. “It’s possible we could win — we made it this far.”

* Kanye West, up for eight nominations at Sunday night’s award show, is planning an emotional tribute to his mother, who died this past November due to complications from plastic surgery. Ye will perform “Stronger” and “Hey Mama.”

* After paying tribute to ’80s smashes by New Order and Michael Jackson on his year’s multi-single-spawning release Good Girl Gone Bad, Rihanna will perform with The Time, who you might remember as Prince‘s musical competition in Purple Rain. The band, formerly led by Morris Day, will be reuniting for the occasion. Let’s hope they do “Umbrella,” (originally written for a certain out-of-control pop star).

Be back here on Sunday night at 8 p.m., where we’ll be dishing on all the performances.

Grammy Predictions: Who Will Win What?

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Each year the act of predicting which artists will take home a Grammy becomes one of pop music’s great guessing games. Someone picks a category, and everyone becomes a pundit. That includes us. We want your comments, too. Do you think our choices are right? Watch the show with us this Sunday night, and join our LIVE BLOG commentary right here at 8 pm.

RECORD OF THE YEAR

Beyonce: “Irreplaceable”
This screed about how the value of self-important men begins with a set of instructions: “To the left, to the left/ Everything you own in a box to the left.” Wonder how Jay-Z took that line?

Foo Fighters: “The Pretender”
Moderate rock, Dave Grohl-style: loud, passionate, dynamic, classic, and prog. Don’t forget the mildly rousing refrain of “Who are you?” But, sorry, it’s still boring.

Rihanna: “Umbrella”
Barbados’ answer to Madonna returned with a Jerry Bruckheimer-sized blockbuster of a disc, and this song, which stuck in our heads for the entire summer, was the centerpiece.

Justin Timberlake: “What Goes Around . . . Comes Around”
When coupled with Timbaland’s production, Justin’s soft-pop R&B added up to a great big rock opera.

Amy Winehouse: “Rehab”
They tried to make her go to rehab; she said no, no, no. Then she said yes, got some help in London, was denied a U.S. entry visa, and can’t perform at the Grammys. Too bad, since the song so thoroughly sums up the problems of 2007.

SHOULD WIN: “Rehab”
WILL WIN: “Umbrella”

BEST HIP-HOP ALBUM

Common: Finding Forever
Half hard, half hippie. Working the poetic tip, he keeps his political and philosophical ideas up front. Kanye’s production, even when it’s florid, does a great job of selling ‘em.

Nas: Hip-Hop Is Dead
Big indictment from the Queens MC, but Nas is nothing if not a provocateur. Though it’s not a home run, it’s gripping. And that flow of his can still make your jaw drop.

Jay-Z: Kingdom Come
Jigga bounced back, and there were lots of sharp moments, but it also felt like the true glory days of this mic fiend are gone. The American Gangster soundtrack is way stronger.

TI: T.I. vs T.I.P.
Yep, Mr. Split Personality may have been at war with himself, but that tension provided for revealing glimpse into the king of Dirty South’s psyche.

Kanye West: Graduation
Haughty is as haughty does. Hip-hop’s most reliable MC hasn’t given up on positioning himself as hip-hop’s most successful MC. But his bluster has oodles of creativity behind it, no question.

SHOULD WIN: Graduation
WILL WIN: Graduation

“Best New Artist” category after the jump.

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You Name It: Chris Checks It Out

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Lots of photos simply beg for a narrative. Whether it’s nasty or silly is up to you — we want you to feel free to read the minds of the celebs and weirdos in our images. Write your title for the photo below in our comments section. Extra points for creativity! First up: Chris & Rihanna.

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American Idol Day 8: Even God Can’t Help Them Now

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Auditions: Best of the Best and Worst of the Rest

Now that we’re only a week away from the start of the Hollywood competition, last night’s American Idol treated us to a mélange of the best and worst auditions from the road. The episode featured tabloid-worthy behavior from both the contestants and the judges, interrupted by the occasional display of talent. Ranging from the unexpected to the totally taboo, here are some highlights, in headlines:

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Fashion Week Frenzy: Mary Alice Stephenson Backstage

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Mary Alice Stephenson, America’s Most Smartest Model host and Harper’s Bazaar contributing fashion editor, went backstage at Fashion Week to bring you, dear readers, an inside look at the best and brightest emerging designers. In the video above, she attends three shows: Alexander Wang, Elise Overland and Reyes, another Ecco Domani Fashion Foundation award-winner. Check out all the action above, and see the looks from Reyes after the jump.

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Christina’s Post-Baby Bod Rocks

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Christina Aguilera hit up a Best Buy in West Hollywood this week to sign copies of her new DVD, but the real exciting part of her first post-baby appearance was her awesome mom bod! Christina is looking big in all the right places, and we’re pleased to see her embrace her position as Hollywood’s newest – and hottest – MILF, at only 27-years old. Her pregnancy has also helped her creativity to blossom, as she told Ryan Seacrest earlier in the day, “I’m very excited! I’m so inspired. This whole incredible thing that’s taken place in my life, between the pregnancy and the birth… I’ve got so much in me to write about.”

She also divulged the deets on her son Max’s bris: “He did have a bris! It was really interesting because I’m not Jewish, but my husband is. I never really knew a lot of Jewish people growing up, I never knew about a bris. It’s all a learning process. Of course, we’re such a non-conventional couple that we had penis balloons everywhere.”

It’s good to know that she’s still the same dirrrty girl deep inside, even with a baby on her hip. More pics of the singer’s sexy new look below!

[Just Jared. Getty]