Oprah: Let Them Eat Cell Phones

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The abuse scandal that’s rocked Oprah Winfrey‘s South African school for girls has resulted in the arrest of the school’s matron (whatever that is). But more importantly, it’s resulted in a solution from Oprah: cell phones. Oprah is said to be passing out phones to each of the students enrolled at her school so that they can call her at any time, should a crisis erupt. In that event, Oprah will slide down the pole in her house and emerge with her cape on. And then, using nothing more than her super powers, she’ll fly over to Africa. Just a little trans-Atlantic excursion. No biggie.

These cellies are like the Bat Phone but with, y’know, more buttons. [People.com / Image: Getty]

Amy Winehouse Isn’t Even Trying

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Amy is back and more effed up than ever. Her performance at last night’s MTV Europe Music Awards is like Britney’s VMA disaster without the laughs (and bikini). It’s only more painful to watch her exuberant back up singers/dancers jam beside her as she teeters on-stage, gripping the mic for balance. The girl is so seriously incoherent and messed up that she probably walked offstage after her wobbly performance and passed out. We’d normally point out that her denim dress from 1992 borders on fashion faux pas territory, but that’s the least of our worries. This isn’t the first time Amy’s delivered a rough performance at an awards show, which is what makes this sorry showing so sad. It’s only that much more heartbreaking that while she’s singing about going “back to black,” she’s fading onstage. Words becoming life only make the whole thing worse. Someone help! [ via DListed]

 

Smartest Model Forecast: Who Will Be the Next to Go?

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You’ve watched America’s Most Smartest Model and developed opinions. Now we want to hear them: Who do you think should be the next contestant to be kicked off the show?

Still alive

To help start the conversation, we’ve asked some of our friends in fashion what they think. Today’s guest-blogger is Mickey Boardman, deputy editorial director of Paper magazine, a New York lifestyle monthly. Mickey’s an all-around style guru, adept at dispensing advice and one of the most clued-in fashion experts today. He explains who he thinks should win — and why.

“I love Pickel. I think he’s got a great personality. He’s smart and could also work as a model. If the challenge was purely physical, the person who I think could really work is V.J. He has the body and the face, but he’s such a douchebag. That’s great TV, but it doesn’t make you like him. Andre . . . it’s people like Andre who give models a bad name. I can’t see him working very much, but I was walking by a bus stop or a phone booth that had an ad for Equinox and the model in it looked like him, so maybe. I could see him in a fitness job, but he’s just so crazy and not in a fun way. As far as the girls go, I liked Mandy Lynn, the tranny-looking one with the fake lips who Mary Alice would always tell to not be so tranny-ish. She was fun. Mandy Lynn would never work as a model except for, say, posing in a bikini on a car in a mechanics’ calendar . . . and I mean that in a supportive way. Rachel Myers I’m not so into. Did she f*ck V.J. yet or no? The other Rachel, I want to like her, but I just can’t get past her face. But I’m not into the girls. The one that I liked was Erika, although she was stiff. If I had to pick one who has it all, I’d pick Pickel.”

Jesse was eliminated last episode. Did you forsee his fall?

Fallen but not forgotten

This Sunday, what do you think is going to happen?

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Friday: Colbert Canned in Carolina

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colbert-1102.jpgColbert Can’t Run for Prez
The South Carolina democrats won’t let the state’s “favorite son” on the presidential ballot. We smell a write in! [DListed]

Eminem Busy with New Babe
So this is what the rapper’s been up to for the past few year’s – getting laid. [NYP]

Britney’s Ex-Manager Sues the Star
Who hasn’t Britney screwed over in the past couple of years? At least she already knows her way around the courthouse. [Us]

Jake and Reese Heat up Halloween
The actor took Reese’s two kids trick-or-treating dressed as a gorilla. It really is love, after all! [Us]

Arrest Expected at Oprah’s School
Let this be a lesson for her school’s students – and the world. Nobody messes with Oprah, b*tches. Nobody! [People]

I Love New York Forecast: Who Should Be the Next to Go?

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I Love New York 2 is on fiah! Still think you know what New York wants and needs? Tell us which guys are safe, and who will be dismissed next episode. Comment now!

Still pimpin’

Buddha and 20 Pack got the boot last episode. Did you forecast their falls?

Fallen, but not forgotten

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Please, Lance & Ashley: Stop Making Out

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lance-ashley.jpgWe’ve heard all we need to hear. Two straight nights of Ashley Olsen sitting on Lance Armstrong‘s muscular lap like a child and shoving their respective billion dollar tongues into each other’s mouths is ENOUGH. We’re done reading about their 15-year age difference and their romantic dinners and their wine-sipping smooch sessions. We don’t care what they were doing to each other Tuesday night at the Rose Bar and we shudder to think of the secret caresses and stolen glances that took place in the wee hours this morning at the Waverly Inn. There’s something so eerily sibling-ish about these two – it’s like Lance could be the long lost male Olsen triplet, that magically aged a lot faster than Mary-Kate and Ash. Citizens of the world, we must come together to put an end to this creepy coupling! [NYP. Getty]

Blog Best-Of: Mary’s Mona Lisa

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mary_links3.jpg- Mary J. Blige‘s Growing Pains album art surfaces. Why the long face, Mary? Show me that smile again… [SOULBOUNCE.com]

- And speaking of album covers, the one for Foxy Brown‘s Brooklyn’s Don Diva bites off famous images of Lil’ Kim and Pam Grier. Gee, Foxy, running out of iconic strong women to rip off? [Jezebel]

- Maroon 5 manwhore Adam Levine goes bare-chested for Halloween. For some, it’s “Slutoween”; for Adam Levine, it’s just another day the office. [Dlisted]

- I’ll take Britney butt over Britney beaver any day. [CityRag]

- Tyra Banks steps out in hazardously tight tights. The better to kiss her fat ass with. [CONCRETELOOP]

The VH1 Blog Interview – Jesse

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Jesse may have lost the battle of the bulge on America’s Most Smartest Model, but he didn’t let that get him down. After the jump, Jesse dishes the dirt on Mary Alice’s criticism, plus-size male models, his sexuality and which two male cast members moved in together after the show wrapped. After the jump: how you doooooin‘?

Read more…

Da Brat Goes on the Attack

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brat_mugshot.jpgWe’ve always loved how sassy Da Brat‘s been on The Surreal Life 4 and Celebrity Fit Club, but damn she’s even spunkier in real life! The rapper was arrested early this morning in Atlanta after clocking a nightclub waitress. Holy sh*t, she’s not effing around! Apparently the two got in a fight that escalated into shoving, until Da Brat took it to the next level with a little rum-bottle-in-the-face action. The waitress ended up at the hospital and Da Brat ended up posing for this beautiful mug shot (right) and getting charged with “felony aggravated assault.” The best part is that she appears to be in some sort of Halloween costume – that yellow polka dot jacket and pink tie has gotta be more than just a quirky fashion statement, right? [Smoking Gun]

Dog the Bounty Hunter’s Racist Rant

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dog-chapman-1101.jpgDog Chapman – that mulleted giant who tracks down criminals in Hawaii with his big-breasted wife in A&E’s show Dog the Bounty Hunter – is now at the center of a good ol’ fashioned sh*t storm, and he’s got no one but himself to blame. Turns out Dog likes to throw around the “N word” – a lot – and did so in a serious rant while talking on the phone to his son. His rage revolved around his son’s African-American girlfriend, and his opinion of her was less than complimentary – it was straight up racist and gross. The conversation was magically recorded (isn’t America great?) and is now all over the internet for your listening and cringing pleasure. Be advised – his language is seriously NSFW. Dog has since apologized, prayed with his pastor and reached out to the go-to guy for idiots who say stupid stuff – the Reverend Al Sharpton. Still, A&E has reacted quickly and “suspended production on the series.” That’s gotta hurt, Dog! But probably not as much as what you said. [Image: Getty]