Courtney Knows Crazy, Advises Britney


Who better to comment on Britney‘s latest meltdown than the patron saint of bat-sh*t crazy, Courtney Love? See, back in 2004, Courtney was removed quite publicly from her New York apartment handcuffed to a gurney. Sounds like someone we know…”I know the exactitudes of what’s going on, having been there,” Love told Access Hollywood. “Here is what’s gonna happen if she doesn’t get help — something very, very bad is gonna happen,” Love continued, using her keen powers of perception and stating what pretty much everyone knows will happen. Love continued “other then me and Britney, no one else has ever been strapped to a gurney.” We might have to disagree with Court on that front — we can think of plenty of other folks who were strapped to a gurney.

Courtney credits rehab and Orlando Bloom with getting her life on track. The British heartthrob, a dedicated Buddhist, encouraged Love to get spiritual on the road to recovery. “I love Orlando for this,” Love said of his role as spiritual mentor. “He doesn’t mind being outed [as a Buddhist]. See — all Britney needs is a little Orlando Bloom!

Sunday’s Super Bowl Commercials: Justin’s Nutcracker, Peyton & Eli’s Lick Job, Chimichanga Dating, Danica’s Daddy


There are those who watch the Super Bowl because they’ve got lotsa $$$$$ riding on it. There are those who watch the Super Bowl because it’s a chance to slurp beer and wolf Doritos. There are those who watch the Super Bowl because the fierce competition of sports and brutish grace of football are addicting. And then there are those who watch the Super Bowl for the cool-ass commercials. A few of this Sunday’s offerings have already made it to the Web. We corralled ‘em, and from Oreos to Bud Lite to Taco Belle to Pepsi, they’ve got me feeling a little hungry. Which one’s your favorite? Don’t forget the cool ones from years gone by. Read more…

Matt Damon & Sarah Silverman are Doing It


The unlikely pair broke the bad news to Sarah’s longtime boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel with a music video, made to honor the fifth anniversary of his late night talk show. Sarah and Jimmy have been seriously dating almost as long as Britney Spears has been crazy, so things probably got pretty awkward after this vid aired, especially since Damon is Kimmel’s arch nemesis. But I feel like every dude should just expect that if his girl’s ever given the chance to bone Matt Damon, she’s gonna. It’s just one of those rules of life we ladies live by.

Poor Little Brit Can’t Feed or Dress Herself



We’re now on Day 2 of Brit Watch, and already her brief hospital stay has been ripe with drama. But really, what else is Britney good at? Brit’s mom has finally wised up (what took her so long?) and wants to take her baby girl back to Louisiana after her psych ward stint is over. Hopefully they have pet stores and Starbucks in the Bayou, though it may take BritBrit a little while to get her there. She’s been classified a “G.D.’ or a “gravely disabled,” which means that she can be involuntarily committed because “the patient is unable to take care of basic needs, such as the acquisition of food, clothing or shelter.”

So it was extra hilarious to see Brit’s man-slave/controller Sam Lutfi at this hospital last night, lugging in some In-N-Out for his ward. Poor little Britney will never be able to figure out how to work a drive-thru if Sam keeps enabling her ass! As for getting dressed, well, hopefully her hospital stint will help her learn how to put on a bra (link NSFW). Sam and Brit’s mom are not on speaking terms, and he’s already come out and bashed her to Access Hollywood, telling them via text message, “Her mother is not someone who cares about her daughter, she’s only concerned with herself….She was too busy getting a manicure to come over yesterday, despite her daughters (sic) pleas. Sad, very sad.

Yeah, almost as sad as a grown woman who’s unable to do anything for herself.

Friday: J.Lo’s Designer Birth


jenniferlopez0208.jpgMeet Snow White, Brit’s Alter Ego
Before her current hospital stint, the pop star was checking into hotels under the name Snow White. The paparazzi are probably her 700 dwarfs. [JustJared]

Star Jones Gets Boot from New Show
The lawyer-turned-host has already been kicked off of her TruTV show. Think she can hear Barbara Walters laughing? [People]

J. Lo to Rock Couture While Giving Birth
Jenny from the block is having her babies while decked out in couture jonnies. Looks like she’s finally been fooled by the rocks that she got. [MSNBC]

K-Fed Likes Britney Best When She’s Hospitalized
Sure he’s concerned for her wellbeing, but he’s also smart to keep his “cash” locked up (and doped up). [People]

“Grey’s Anatomy” Doc Hits up Brit’s Psych Ward
The guy who plays one of the sexy MDs on Greys (McSteamy, McDreamy, McSweaty – one of those dudes), just checked out of Brit’s psych ward after receiving treatment for a sleep disorder. [TMZ]

Paris Hilton’s Line of Shoes Are Just As Trashy As Her


parishilton.jpgCelebrity heiress and frequent subject of photography Paris Hilton has introduced her new line of shoes. The trouble is, as some online have noted, that a) the shoes are blatant rip-offs of other brands, and b) they’re ugly as sin. As to the former, we want to point to the style-obsessed ladies of Fashionista, who explain that Paris’ sandal is almost a direct copy of the Christian Louboutin shoe commonly known as the Tibouroun 70 Espadrilles. Today, The New York Daily News reported that Paris has upset the fashionable elite, since her shoes very closely resemble the ones produced by Te Casan (most recently in the news for their new line with Natalie Portman). The trouble is that it seems Paris has the inverse of the Midas touch — whatever she encounters turns to trash — and people are sensitive about their footwear. Would you wear her shoes? Picture after the jump.

Read more…

Paris Hilton Can’t Believe Her Eyes



Well, thank god Paris has finally figured out how the magic of baby-making works. The heiress divulged the deets on a weepy sleepover she had at Nicole’s mom’s house, with the new mama and her little girl Harlow. She said (presumably in her best baby voice), “I was crying when I saw her. She looks like a miniature version of Nicole and Joel. I am so happy for them.”

Is Paris so sheltered that she’s just now realized that babies look like the two people who come together to create them? And from what’s she’s describing, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have created the fugliest baby known to mankind bloggerkind. Check out our artistic interpretation of Paris’ description. Who do you think Harlow Madden looks more like – Mommy or Daddy? [Page Six]

No One Cares About Christina’s Baby


christina_baby.jpgPoor Christina Aguilera. Apparently people like her tunes but are totally turned off when her tanned and dyed mug is plastered on a magazine cover. The singer has been in talks with OK! magazine to sell pics of her and her new baby Max, but plans have stalled after she wasn’t offered the cover. Gasp! An insider says, “The OK! wedding cover didn’t sell as well as they hoped, and even her recent Marie Claire cover underperformed, all things considered.” Yup, the only people who care about Christina are,well, just Christina. A different source revealed that “Christina has an inflated sense of her own value and seems to expect an extortionate amount of money for these baby pictures.”

We have seven dollars in our wallet, that should cover the cost! But the money drama may not be the only thing stopping the pics from being published. A pal of Christina’s alleges that the baby might not be “ready for prime time.” We can only assume this means his hair isn’t the appropriate shade of platinum blond and he keeps smudging his red lipstick. Poor little Max – isn’t he beautiful no matter what Mommy says? [MSNBC]

American Idol Day 6: Simon Turns Vicious



Auditions: Miami

After a disappointing day in Omaha, the American Idol judges headed to Miami, where the warm weather seemed to ratchet up the energy and give Idol some of the juice it has been lacking. Simon was the real star of last night’s auditions, delivering some of the choicest, strangest, and cruelest rejections we’ve heard all season, a welcome return to form for the curmudgeonly Brit.

Let’s review, shall we, the destruction:

Read more…