K-Fed Out to Bust Brit for Driving Illegally

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britney1001.jpgFrom the Desk of Britney J. Spears:

Oops ya’ll! Kevin’s lawer is all PO’ed at me because I like, drove my Mercedes Benz (it cost a lot of money!) without a real California license. Big deal! I have a fake license that my cousin gave me that has my actual name on it but instead of California it says “Bimbo’s Driver’s License!” How funny is that? Especially because I don’t even know what a bimbo is. I’m sure it’s something sexy. Anyhoodles, I got a real license too, from like Louisiana or Texas or wherever I grew up. I’m sure I can use that in California. And who cares if my kids were in the car or not? I had them strapped into their tiny people seats with duct tape and straps and stuff. They’re finnnneee. So what if it’s, like, illegal? I’m pretty sure I still have a lot of money, and you know people with money get away with bad stuff because we’re better than other people. Didn’t I just sell some perfume or my own line of hamburger meat or something? Whatever. I’m still rich.

I gotta go pee now.
I love rum and cokes my fans my kids, ya’ll!

- Britz

Radiohead’s Amazing Technicolor Return

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Experimental British mope-rockers Radiohead announced their return yesterday. In a statement on their website, the band revealed plans to release their seventh studio album, In Rainbows, on October 10th — the digital version, anyhow. (The regular old brick-and-mortar disc comes out on December 3rd, with plenty of extra bells, whistles, songs, artwork and the like. You know the drill.) Here’s the fun part, though: For the download release, the band has adopted a pay-what-you-want policy, sort of like what your local natural history museum does on Thursday nights. In other words, you can buy the whole album for as little as close to a penny. In the meantime, rock ‘n’ roll cheat-sheet TheNME has combed all the way through the YouTubes to preview the new album. You have to be a fairly dedicated fan to get much mileage from this stuff, but we had a feeling you might like it anyhow. Above is album-opener “15 Step.”

Kanye West Blogs About His Favorite Topic

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Suffering from Kanye West overkill? Of course not! The world can’t get enough of Mr. West – from his number one album and single, to his appearances on Ellen and Saturday Night Live, to his tantrum backstage at the VMAs last month, to his many magazine covers, to – okay yeah, we’re hella sick of the guy. But there’s one person who’s not – and that’s good ol’ Kanye West. Apparently the man diva just figured out how to get his voice out over the web, and his new blog is a combination of YouTube clips (he loves the newscaster who falls over while stomping grapes too!), pictures of sneakers, and lots and lots of stuff about HIMSELF. Surprised?

Check out Kanye’s hip home in cyberspace and take a look at the rapper poking fun at himself on the premiere of SNL this weekend. It’s kind of a relief that his sense of humor (and ability to poke fun at himself) is almost as big at his ego.

Springsteen Storytellers Sessions Are Back

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Bruce Springsteen‘s new album Magic drops tomorrow, but you don’t have to wait to get a dose of the Boss. VH1Classic has all your needs covered.

The singer’s exclusive Storytellers performance is now available online for the first time since he recorded the show. It’s great, with Springsteen filling us in on the tales behind tunes like “Blinded By The Light” and “Devils and Dust.” Also starting today, our online Classic site will roll out two previously unavailable Bruce videos per day. Check back this week to see which titles go live.

We also dug through the back catalog and found some favorites from his little-known tracks. And for some recent Bruce, check out his Today Show performance from last Friday, when the E Street band rocked Midtown Manhattan with six blistering songs.

Pam to Marry Paris’ Sex Tape Stud

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pam1001.jpgWhat makes Pamela Anderson‘s new guy such a dream boat?

  • Produced such hits as Who’s Your Caddy? Check!
  • Once married to Shannen Doherty? Check!
  • Famous for doing nothing Paris Hilton? Check!

Pam and Rick Salomon have received a marriage license in Las Vegas so it’s only a matter of time before she slips on a trashy white bikini and makes it official. Hey, if she wants to marry the dude who creepily boned Paris Hilton and then sold it for all the world – including one day, his two daughters – to see, than more power to her. In twelve years all their kids can get together with a box of wine and bond over their parents’ sex tape mistakes. If there’s one thing Pam likes more than guys who record their racy romps (Tommy Lee and Kid Rock have done it too, natch), it’s marrying them in quickie ceremonies. They may have already done the deed! Hopefully, for the rest of us, they caught it all on tape. [TMZ. Image: Getty]

Fab & Sexy Asian Ladies Talk “Graffiti”

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It didn’t take long for hip-hop, b-boy culture, and breaking to become a global phenomenon, and years ago Wild Style star and hip-hop icon Fab 5 Freddy found himself in a Japanese hotel teaching a group of females about the fine art of tagging. He recounts the action in our “Tales From the Road” series, part of this year’s Hip-Hop Honors action, so yep, it includes some wildness – clubbing, boxer shorts, calls from the front desk, running and screaming, and brothers protecting their sisters from the Rock Steady crew. Let’s let Fab ‘splain it himself.

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Letterman Makes Paris Hilton Squirm

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We’re big fans of anything that makes Paris Hilton uncomfortable (we love 6×8 foot jail cells!) – and apparently so does David Letterman. The veteran talk show host grilled the heiress about her experiences behind bars on Friday’s Late Show, asking her if she knew why she went to jail (she does!). He also inquired about her slammer pals and the taste of the baloney sandwiches she was given for lunch. Watch (and giggle) as Paris shifts in her seat, shakes her leg, and finally refuses to answer any more questions about her slammer stint. She did get a chance to plug her upcoming movie and new perfume – which Dave promptly guzzled from the bottle. All in the the name of good great TV. Thanks, Dave.

Monday: J. Lo Dressing Like a Mom-to-Be

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jenniferlopez1001.jpgBritney Spears’ Sassy New Song
Brit lets it all hang out in her latest leaked single. We mean the mental stuff, not her boobs (amazingly). [Just Jared]

Kate Hudson Dumps No Name Beau
Poor Dax Shephard – those fifteen minutes are long gone now that Kate has jumped ship. At least she did the right thing and had a pal dump him for her. What manners! [OK!]

Jennifer Lopez Rockin’ Maternity Outfits?
Er, Jenny and her hubby Marc Anthony are claiming that the diva’s not knocked up, but what other excuse is there for outfits like these? [NYDN]

Angelina Not Fired, Still Perfect
Luxury clothing line St. John denies that they’ve fired Brad’s boo as their spokesmodel. Too bad – Shiloh and Zahara were all ready to take her place. [Us Weekly]

Beyoncé Cancels Controversial Show
The singer canceled her concert in Malaysia following protests from Muslim groups. Maybe she just wanted to hit up St. Tropez with Jay instead. [Us Weekly]

The Celebreality Interview – Jes

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After 11 weeks and innumerable hangovers, Bret has finally found his rock of love in Jes. Good girls rule!

After the jump, Jes talks about her attraction to Bret, what it’s like to date a man who’s more than 20 years her senior, letting her guard down and what it was like to be one of the few sane people in a house full of crazies.
Read more…