The “Chocolate Rain” Guy Can’t Dance

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Tay Zonday, everyone’s favorite deep-voiced internet star, has “released” his follow up jam to the summer’s biggest song, “Chocolate Rain.” “Do the Can’t Dance” is not quite as bizarre (and therefore – catchy) as his first masterpiece, but at least we get to watch him shake his booty as he mimes eating salsa. In the world of internet video, that’s pure genius.

What do you think – Does “Do the Can’t Dance” beat out “Chocolate Rain” as the most annoyingly addictive web song of the year?

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Just When You Thought You Couldn’t Love Lacey More…

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A video for a 2006 video from none other than Rock of Love villain Lacey has surfaced, and boy is it awesome. The synth-pop throwback “This Thing Called Love” finds Lacey vamping around, rolling around in bed, throwing rose petals at a dude and changing the word “LOVE” (written in lipstick on a mirror, of course) to the word “DONE” while proclaiming all along, “I don’t want this thing called love.” Here comes the rain, again and again. As you’re well aware, Lacey would go on to appear on a reality show purportedly in search for that very thing. It’s nice to know that she eventually came around. [Via ohnotheydidnt]

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It’s Official! Britney’s Opening the VMAs

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britneyvmas090607-copy.jpgMTV has confirmed that Britney – extensions and all – will be opening the 2007 Video Music Awards this Sunday. Brit will bust a move to her new single “Gimme More,” also know as the mediocre dance song that starts with the lines “It’s Britney, bitch.” The executive producer of the show says that Brit has indeed consulted with Criss Angel on her performance, and he is promising a spectacle unlike anything we’ve ever seen. “You can expect the things we want and expect from Britney — that will all be there,” said Jesse Ignjatovic. “…She’ll be dancing, performing, doing her thing. That’s exactly what we all want. Fans that are familiar with her performance on previous VMAs will not be disappointed.”

By “doing her thing,” he hopefully means a choreographed head shaving routine. Or maybe she’ll chain smoke an entire pack of Marlboro Lights. Either way, we’ll be glued to our TVs on Sunday night. Good luck, bitch! [MTV.com. Images: Getty]

Check out these pics of Brit’s past VMA show stoppers. Do you think she’s gonna bomb or blow up big on Sunday night?

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Lindsay Goes Broke from Buying Coke

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lindsay090607.jpgWhoops! Apparently Lindsay Lohan wasn’t that rich, because girlfriend’s gone out and blown all her money and is now not allowed to spend a dime. A source says, “Dina must think Lohan is a serious addict, and she’s afraid if she gives her even $20, she’ll run out and buy drugs and booze.”

I guess Dina is smart, cuz that’s definitely where Lindsay’ll go – right to the corner. Linds is supposedly so desperate for cash that she went begging to Damon Dash and 50 Cent for some money. Lindsay and 50 Cent are pals? We had no idea. That’s weirder than him and Kanye getting along. Luckily both hip hop moguls are smart enough not to fork anything over, so some “music industry insider” passed her some cash. Lindsay’s thank you? “I’m good for it, I’ll make a huge comeback. I am, after all, the most famous person on the planet right now!” Nice. Her mom taught her class as well as money management skills. Unless Lindsay has another Mean Girls up her sleeve, that poor “insider” is totally getting screwed. It’s probably Paula Abdul - them drugged up crazy ladies gotta stick together, right? [A Socialite's Life. Image: Getty]

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First Look: America’s Most Smartest Model

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Amsm_firstlook

The shot above (click to enlarge) is your first look at the contestants of America’s Most Smartest Model, a new elimination-based reality show that’s set to premiere Sunday, October 7 at 9/8c on VH1. Hosted by Ben Stein and career fashionista Mary Alice Stephenson, the show will attempt to find brains behind the beauty in a series of challenges. It’s stimulation for the eyes and intellect. Sexy and sophisticated — imagine that! The winner will take away $100,000. More importantly, he or she will leave with the title of America’s Most Smartest Model. Do you have the mental capacity to understand the glory involved in that?

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Drew Barrymore Makes Out with Mac Guy

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Interesting how this video popped up just when we added Drew Barrymore making out with the guy from those annoying Apple commercials” to our List of Things We Never Want to See – Ever. Guess we can cross that one off. Let’s hope the same never happens for “Britney Spears naked.” Apparently Drew and Justin Long are canoodling all over Hollywood, as is evident from their hot and heavy lip lock caught on tape. But with the way our girl is playing the field these days, that means nothing. She could be all over John Mayer in NYC or grinding with Diddy on his yacht in St. Tropez. You just never know. [via WWTDD]

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Thursday: Busta Gets Lucky in Court; Brangelina Takes Manhattan

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busta090607.jpgSherri Shepherd Scores ‘View’ Seat
Barbara Walters will confirm it on Monday’s show, but word is already out that Sherri’s in. [People]

Jessica Simpson Flies In Style
Forget sweats – Jess wears a long dress, large jewels and massive heels when she hops on a plane. In other words, she’s Texan. [JustJared]

Busta Gets Lucky Break From Trial
The rapper may have four different trials going on, but at least one of the assault cases been pushed back a few months. Now Busta has time to really prepare for court – or to flee. [NY Post]

No Child Abuse Charges for Britney
Brit’s not getting busted for ruining those kids lives….yet. [Hollywood Rag]

Brangelina: Big Apple Bound?
The clan is shacking up at Angie’s NYC condo and Maddox just enrolled at a school on the Upper East Side. They’re the richest nomads ever! [NY Post]

Rock on TV – The Shortlist

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rosario.jpgJonesing for music on your television set? You’ve come to the right place, rockers! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1’s Rock on TV schedule daily.

Rent, 7:20 a.m. (EST), SBLK: Not content to deal with the perils of New York City real estate alone, this Broadway-to-big screen adaptation manages to trivialize difficult issues like AIDS and relationships by setting them to music. Loosely based on La Boheme, and barely redeemed by the presence of a scantily clad Rosario Dawson.

The Last Waltz, 11:00 a.m. (EST), SHON: It’s Thanksgiving of 1976, and the Band is playing its final show. Director Martin Scorcese‘s there to document the show in its entirety, as well as film the fallout of the retirement. In a graceful full-circle gesture, the guys return to the stage where they played their innaugural show 16 years earlier at San Francisco’s Winterland Arena. During the course of the concert, former Band leaders join them on stage (Bob Dylan, Ronnie Hawkins), as well as a who’s who of classic rock titans — Eric Clapton, Neil Young, Emmylou Harris, Keith Richards and Van Morrison. Regarded as one of the best rock n’ roll concert films.

Blog Best-Of: Rappers’ Delight

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kanye_50_links.jpg- Kanye West and 50 Cent appear together on the cover of Rolling Stone, just inches away from each other. The article should be called “He Dissed Me, But It Felt Like a Kiss.” [CONCRETELOOP]

- Glamour shaves off about 50 lbs. from America Ferrera for the mag’s latest cover. OK, we get it: she’s not ugly. But deception is. [Dlisted]

- Tyra Banks dons a space helmet to promote the upcoming cycle of America’s Next Top Model. Aliens are fierce, y’all! [Crunk + Disorderly]

- Lily Allen shows up at an event wearing a gown that’s both red and see-through. Once again, the woman proves herself an innovator. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

- Ryan Seacrest gets ready for the Emmys. If that’s not a euphemism, it should be. [Popbytes]