Travis and Shanna Keep the Trend Going

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Big surprise – the stars of MTV’s Meet The Barkers are calling it quits for realsies this time. After shooting their reality – "look at us we’re a normal married couple with kids, tattoos and millions of dollars" – show about wedded bliss, the pair split, reconciled, and have now split again, for good. And good riddance to them! They join a slew of other couples who popped upon MTV together and in love only to find themselves bitten by the "We’re so happy together" reality TV show curse. Think we’re lying? Look who else has felt the black magic:

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Kelis Hearts Hate Speech?

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In what appears to be a regular column, Kelis gets her post-Imus discourse on in the latest issue of the newish, hip lass mag Missbehave. The piece titled "Kelis On…Name Calling," finds Mrs. Nas raging against political correctness. "If everyone just said what they thought, maybe we could move on, get past it all and really be free," Kelis writes in one of her more reasoned statements. One to practice what she preaches, Kelis indeed says what she thinks throughout the piece, taking an extreme stance to seemingly prove a point. "How about if a straight man calls another straight man ‘faggot?’" she wonders. "Is it more offensive if the man is gay?" That probably can only be answered on a case-to-case basis: does it hurt more as a gay man to be talked about behind your back or to your face?

Her most outrageous statement, however concerns our very own commander-in-chief.

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Usher’s Confession: I’m Not Whipped!

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He may be one of the sexiest guys in the world, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be controlled by a lady (Right ladies? Boss those men around!). Media outlets galore have reported for a while that Usher is under the thumb of fiancé Tameka Foster, who supposedly got the star to fire his mother as his long time manager.The crooner sent an open letter to People addressing rumors about his relationship, life, and accusations of physical violence against radio host Tom Joyner – which he denies. He writes, "I am happy, excited, completely clear and independent on my direction, feelings, decisions and I am NOT BEING LED. "

Usher also attacked those wedding rumors. He says, "It has already been announced that I plan to marry this year. However,
since my wedding day will be special to Tameka and I, this is
information that we would like to keep private." YEAH right! He can’t talk about it cuz that controlling lady of his won’t let him. We know a whipped man when we see one! [People]

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Oh No They Didn’t: Friday’s Review Rage

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Captivity
Every week we round up selections from the funniest, most obscene and brutal film criticism out there so that you don’t waste your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: Critics seem to think Canadian super-hottie Elisha Cuthbert is responsible for the downfall of Western civilization. Oh, wait. No. That would be her movie, Captivity, which wasn’t even screened for American critics.

"Sitting through torture: If you want to see the sexy blonde from 24 (Elisha Cuthbert) held captive in a dungeon by a psycho and subjected to various disgusting torments, then rush to see Captivity. Alternately, seek psychiatric help." — The Sunday Times

"When Jennifer [Cuthbert] is being force-fed a bloody cocktail of liquidised eyeballs and ears, we are genuinely choked up about it. The film’s clunky point-of-view shift and obviously re-shot climax are likely to have you choking in disbelief." — Time Out London

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Diddy Wants You (To Get Him Cheesecake)

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Are you unemployed? Looking to try a new line of work? Are you "the best"? Then you just might be Diddy‘s new assistant. The man of many monikers is in search of a new assistant, and all you have to do is upload a three-minute video to the Internet to apply. Though Diddy’s call to apply has a home-made, late-night, north-Jersey-furniture-showroom-commercial feel to it, one has to imagine that the man has money to spend, but there’s no word on compensation. And while you may not have a 401K, chances are you stand to gain a cast-off nickname and all the Sean John clothing you can wear out of the office. Check out some of the applicants here.

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Friday: The Beckhams Take LA by Storm; Paris Lets Someone Else Do The Driving

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The Beckhams Arrive in LA in Style
The British super family officially arrived in Los Angeles last night to take the city by storm with their soccer moves and skinny jeans. We can’t wait to criticize their every move. [NY Post]

Brit: No Lovin’ from Bodyguard?
After reports that the pop star and her bodyguard were getting cozy, a source close to the mysterious Daimon says there’s no love between the two. He’s just there to protect Britney and watch her kids -sounds like the perfect man! [People]

James Blunt Sold Sister on eBay?
Yep, the sensitive rocker claims that he sold his sister on eBay to help her get to a funeral in Ireland. Even weirder – the winner of the auction not only flew his sis to the ceremony, but they started dating and are marrying this summer. Brits be crazy! [People]

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Jessica Simpson: Changing Faces?

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When asked about plastic surgery in the August issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Jessica Simpson replies, "I’ve had none."

Uh, yeah. Not really buying that one. Credit where it’s due, though, she specifically says her boobs are real.

That’s plausible, unless she got them done when she was, like, 20. Although given her father: maybe.

[USA Today / Image credit: Getty]

Blog Best-Of: Bobby’s Boozing

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Bobby_links- Bobby Brown has reportedly fallen off the wagon. Now, to capitalize on it, all he needs is a reality TV crew and Whitney Houston back in his life. Go get ‘em, Bobbay! [Dlisted]

- Penelope Cruz looks good without makeup. You know what that means: more lipstick for Salma! [CityRag]

- Eve is rumored to have been spotted with a female prostitute. If this is true, I’m leaving planet Earth: I don’t want to live in a world in which someone as hot as Eve has to p-pay-pay for vajayjay. [CONCRETELOOP]

- Claire Daines is headed for Broadway. I’m headed in the opposite direction. Funny how that works. [Celebitchy]

- Charm School‘s Mo’Nique and a few big girls don body paint to promote Mo’Nique’s F.A.T. Chance. A two-ton vat of peanut butter wouldn’t be ready for this jelly. [Crunk + Disorderly]

Paris Wants You in Her Pants

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Self-described "business woman" Paris Hilton is about to launch a new venture: her own jean line. That’s right, soon we’ll all be able to get into Paris’ pants – for a price. The heiress reportedly met with Macy’s yesterday to discuss the project, and apparently they were thrilled with the collection. The best part is – items from her line have already debuted. Remember those dark skinny jeans Paris wore as she paraded out of the clink? Yup, you guessed it – directly from The Paris Hilton House of Hot Denim (not really the line’s name). See, she hasn’t changed a bit – never a wasted opportunity with this one. If you need hair extensions, you should probably also check out Hilton’s new line of fake locks. All you need is a bad case of claustrophobia and a bag of pot and you’ll look just like Paris!

Don’t Mess with T.I.

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He may have the number one record on this week’s Billboard Top 200, but don’t think that makes T.I. any more relaxed. The hip hop star was in the middle of a performance at an ESPY Awards pre-party in Los Angeles on Tuesday and when a fan got in his way, he struck – literally. After a cup was thrown at the rapper he apparently jumped offstage and barged out into the audience, where he popped the culprit in the face with his mic. Stars such as Hilary and Haylie Duff were in attendance, and it would have been so much more exciting had one of them been the cup thrower. That mic smack could’ve been like a free nose job! Check out the pic on the right taken just a day after the tussle at the awards show. T.I. sure does clean up real good post-brawl. [TMZ]