Dear Brandon and Dylan Lee,
I’m sure by now you’ve probably read the report detailing your dad’s table top sexcapades at the Dune nightclub in the Hamptons Sunday night. In case this is news to you, allow me summarize: your dad, Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, waltzed into a club with a blond lady (not your mommy), asked the hostess “Is it cool to have sex in here?” He then proceeded to go for some “‘flat-out [bleep]ing’ on a banquette,” according to the many people who watched. In other words, he knocked boots on a table in front of a club full of people.
Now I can imagine this kind of news may be sort of embarrassing for you guys to read, but it shouldn’t be. Your pops is totally living the rock n’ roll dream and setting you both up for a great booty-filled adult life to come. So don’t be ashamed of your dirrrty roots – embrace them! After all it could be worse – your mom could be shaving her head and boning magicians.
The VH1 Blog
PS: I think it’s totally cool that your parents named you after two of the main characters on the hit 90′s teen drama Beverly Hills 90210. You may have never heard of this show, but it was totally culturally significant for a couple of minutes. [NYP. Image: Getty]
It’s Game Over for Shaq and His Wife
The basketball star is splitting from his wife of five years, claiming that the marriage is “irretrievably broken.” Also their difference in height just made things weird. [TMZ]
Brit’s Bodyguard Busted for Battery
The starlet is probably breathing a big sigh of relief that it’s her bodyguard who’s facing six months jail time for beating up a photog and not herself. How could she go that long without
Cheetos and cigarettes her kids? [TMZ]
Brad Pitt Whines About His Looks
The hunky actor has finally realized what the rest of us figured out long ago – we get kinda ugly as we age. Pretty soon he’s going to learn that not everyone makes millions of dollars a day for doing nothing, too. [NYDN]
Nicole Kidman Was Secretly Engaged?
Tom Cruise’s ex says she was secretly engaged to someone in between her two marriages, but her face was just too botoxed to ever reveal that she was hiding something. [NYP]
Bossy Jamie Foxx Gets His Diva On
The Ray star barred people from entering and riding on the elevator he was in at a hotel, for no apparent reason other than – he’s famous and can do that kind of s**t. [NYP]
Jonesing for music on your television set? You’ve come to the right place, rockers! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1’s Rock on TV schedule daily.
The Italian Job, 5 p.m. (EST), FX: Marky Mark Wahlberg stars in this hyper-extended Mini-Cooper commercial, which, as it turns out, was actually a remake. The movie’s about about Vince Chase . . . er, Marky Mark, sorry, as he seeks revenge against the evil Ed Norton for killing Donald Sutherland. Mos Def shows up, too. The movie’s based on the 1969 Michael Caine vehicle of the same name. It’s really good, so long as you’re trapped on a plane and can’t move for like eight hours. Jet Blue wins again! (Sidebar: There’s a sequel coming. Can’t wait for ’09, kids.)
Three Kings, 7:30 p.m. (EST), FX: It’s Marky Mark night on FX, apparently, because this David O. Russell film follows the Mini-Cooper spot above. The flick stars Ice Cube, George Clooney and Spike Jonze (the Beastie Boys’ video director who you might remember from Being John Malkovich) as soldiers in Iraq, arguing over buried treasure. This is one of the best films of the ’90s, and if you haven’t seen it, we recommend you do. You’ll be happier for it.
Ne-Yo‘s going up against R. Kelly, and Rihanna‘s hoping to knock out Beyonce with her “Umbrella” — at the VIBE Awards, that is. You have the power to decide who wins! VH1 Soul and VIBE magazine have gotten together to broadcast the awards ceremony, selecting from this year’s stellar artists, amazing albums and hit singles the candidates for Hip-Hop Artist of the Year, Breakthrough Artist, and the Song of the Year, among other categories. You, however, will choose the winners, by voting here. Will Timbaland outshine Swizz Beatz for the honor of Producer of the Year? Will Amy “Anti-Rehab” Winehouse send blue-eyed soul singer Robin Thicke packing? Vote now and tune in November 14th when the Caramel Bombshell Eve hosts the show and reveals the winners.
What can you say about Brit’s newly leaked songs? They’re breathy, boppy, and sound EXACTLY the same. BORING! The lyrics all kind of blend into one, but from what we can gather her new ditties are all about grinding, boys, coming back, getting high, boys, the temperature rising, and jumping and moving – possibly with boys. It’s unfortunate that Brit didn’t instead use her own drama to inspire her new jams. Cheeto Crumbs on the Floor of My Mercedes and God Damn It Sean Stop Crying Or Mommy’s Gonna Beat Your Ass are tunes we could really get down to on the dance floor.
Check out Brit’s newest songs here and here.
Are you dancing or snoozing? [Image: Getty]
Britney Drops Two New Tracks, Ya’ll
“Umbrella” Could Have Been Brit’s Song
Browse Britney Spears Photos
Thank goodness – we were just starting to get bored staring at Nicole Richie‘s baby bump. Now we have a whole new belly to behold! Apparently the producers of Halle’s new film Tulia had to bail on plans to start shooting in October because the Oscar winner is three months preggers. Check out this pic of the starlet taken last month (with that Ty Pennington dude) – she’s gotta be hiding something under that flowy dress. Take a look and let us know what you think – is Halle Berry knocked up or are we just hungry for a new celebubaby to obsess over? [TMZ. Image: Getty]
Let’s say you’re a crazy rich basketball player and you want to show some dinky poker champ how balls to the wall rich you are. Would you:
A) Buy five $1,400 bottles of Cristal
B) Buy fifteen bottles of $1,400 Cristal
C) Buy fifteen bottles of $1,400 Cristal and then leave the club with a $21,000 bill
D) All of the above
Check D) my friends, cuz that’s exactly what Kobe Bryant did this weekend. After poker player Antonio “The Magician” Esfandiari laid down the big bucks for two bottles of $1,400 Cristal champagne, Kobe attempted to outshine the card shark and upped the tab to five bottles. The Magician then raised him ten, and the Lakers star came back with an order of fifteen bottles of the pricey booze. He then paid his $21,000 bill and split before even having one sweet sip – of champagne or of victory. Now we kind of get why that wife is still by his side – we’d stick around too if our man was constantly ready to drop some bills to show off. Who cares if he’s constantly involved in some scandal when you can have whole new wardrobe in five minutes! [TMZ. Image: Getty]
Kobe Bryant Denies Divorce Rumors
Kobe Wants Out of Lakerville
Things sure got ugly on this week’s episode of The Hills. Spencer dumped Brody and grew a goatee, Heidi and Jen Bunney bickered about Lauren, Justin Bobby continued to rip out Audrina’s heart while talkin’ nonsense, and Whitney appeared onscreen for two seconds to make THIS face. Ugly, indeed!
Tensions in the band flare as Rainbow’s ego outgrows the band’s success, and the band’s inability to get a deal proves a constant source of frustration for Cisco. After a particularly difficult show, Cisco slices into Rainbow, giving him some “constructive criticism” that doesn’t sound the least bit constructive. “This ain’t a party,” Cisco says, which is fairly ironic, considering that the past several episodes have looked very much like a party.