Jonesing for music on your television set? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Our Rock on TV schedule gives you plenty of choices. Here are today’s highlights.
Zoo TV – Live From Sydney, 8 p.m. (EST), VH1 Classic: U2 played Australia on the last leg of their Zoo TV tour — the one that began with the release of Achtung, Baby, and continued well past the time when people were wondering what, exactly, Zooropa was all about. Despite Bono putting on weight (so much so, he resembles Robin Williams here), and the relatively poor sound quality at the show, the band’s energy is high and Macphisto remains charismatic. When he calls the White House and asks to speak to George Bush, we still get an illicit thrill. Mainly because we tried the same thing this morning, and the operator hung up on us, too.
The Late Show With David Letterman, 11:35 p.m. (EST), CBS: Neo-punk saviors Against Me! play for Dave and Paul and everyone else. If you believe critics, then you’ll already know that the Florida band’s latest, New Wave, is out and that it’s good. We like how they’ve cleverly combined the rock-ier sensibilities of the Offspring with the swagger of the Dropkick Murphys. But mainly we like how they titled one of their earlier albums Reinventing Axl Rose. That’s balls, folks.
- Madonna‘s hands are so veiny, I think she’s part woman, part spaghetti. [CityRag]
- Mathematicians put a number on the attractiveness of Jessica Alba‘s ass. And that ass is so bountiful that the number stayed there. [Best Week Ever]
- Tom Cruise reportedly sent his children who aren’t Suri to Scientology camp for the summer. You say Scientology camp, I say Mars. [Dlisted]
- Calum Best continues his vigil for the return of Lindsay Lohan in the only manner he knows how: douchily. [Popbytes]
- Amy Winehouse lounges in the Caribbean with one leg in the air. She’s such a driven artist, this is her way of competing with the sea breeze. [Crunk & Disorderly]
Justin Reminds Britney Who’s In Charge
Jessica Alba Gets Close With Ex
Tom and Katie Bump n’ Grind
The most amazing thing about this episode? We finally encounter something that does not turn Bret on!
The code has been cracked! Someone get Dan Brown on the phone!
John Mellencamp is always on the move. Dude just finished up a spooktastic musical with Stephen King (wha?), and now he might be coming to your town. The roots rocker has announced a string of dates in support of this year’s Freedom’s Road, a politically-charged disc that will undoubtedly prove action-packed in concert. Check the dates, and watch a string of his vids.
||Terre Haute, IN
||Grand Rapids, MI
||Van Andel Arena
||Ft. Wayne, IN
||Alliant Energy Center
||Des Moines, IA
||Sioux City, IA
||Tyson Events Center
||St. Louis, MO
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Good News: Britney got new, pretty blond extensions!
Bad News: The latest outlook on the Brit-cast is dark and stormy, ya’ll. A friend of the starlet’s got in a car accident trying to flee K-Fed’s cronies who showed up at his house to serve him with a subpoena. Her former manager, Larry Rudolph, is currently hiding out somewhere to avoid the same fate. His pal Ryan Seacrest said, “He’s actually on the run, if you will…he doesn’t want to say where he is and he doesn’t want to be served because he said it won’t be good for Britney.”
Brit’s also being investigated by the Department of Children and Family Services due to “allegations of poor dental hygiene, as well as poor eating and sleeping habits for her kids.” Apparently it may even be K-Fed who filed the complaint! There are two lessons to be learned here. Don’t marry a tool-ish backup dancer at twenty-three years old. Also, brush your kids teeth.
Is Britney Beating Her Babies?
Britney’s Nutty, Naked Photoshoot
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Check out Miss South Carolina’s appearance this morning on The Today Show. Obviously still a little nervous and mortified, she attempted to re-do her answer to the question she was asked Friday night at the Miss Teen USA Pageant, which has been viewed online more than 2 million times. The thing is, she doesn’t really answer the question, even though she’s now had 3 days to think about it! You may recall that Lauren Caitlin Upton was asked, “Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?”
Her answer today, while coherent, basically says “My friends and I know where America is on a map, so what the hell is wrong with all these dumb people?!” Right. If only they had whipped out a nice big map of the world and tested her 17-year old ass. She’d probably be pointing at The Iraq.
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