Britney’s Daily List of Dumb Things to Do Today
- Sleep with the married photographer that used to stalk me after only knowing him for 26 days.
- Get knocked up with his baby because I miss my kids so much after screwing up that whole custody thing. Yeah, that was pretty dumb of me.
- Eat a delicious, nutritious dinner of chocolates and tiny bottles of Zinfandel.
- Oh, I almost forgot — get engaged to my creepy boyfriend so I can look at his sexy goatee forever!
- Go out to buy a pregnancy test in public; let his photo agency take pics of the shopping trip and sell them.
- Drive by Kevin’s house at 3 a.m. high on Taco Bell.
- Light a cigarette in the car with a giant kitchen lighter.
- Not shower, again.
Let’s play Remember When. As in, remember when Rock of Love debuted last fall, shocking television with the easy wits of its contestants and the impressive leonine hair of its host, Bret Michaels? Good times, people. Now that Rock of Love is back for a second season, we’d like to take the opportunity to remind you of the halcyon moments in the first. See the clip above, for example. In it, Tiffany (whose phrase, “Don’t threaten me with a good time” should have already been inducted into the Crazy Statements Hall of Fame) offers Bret a lapdance. In response, Bret claims that she “beat my penis to a pulp.” Once a rock star, always a rock star.
Rock of Love 2 Show Page
Modestly assured of its star-making power — even as Katharine McPhee and Taylor Hicks are dropped from their labels — American Idol returns for a triumphant seventh season, ready to mint a label-ready American pop star. Again.
With Idol, the beginning is the worst. Thousands flock to audition, each bringing with them a pittance of talent and, more often than not, an excess of volume. As we opened in the City of Brotherly Love, we watched Randy, Paula and Simon enduring the following Philadelphians:
Tutus, slippers and tights — they’re not the first things that come to mind when you think of Antwan “Big Boi” Patton of Outkast. But the Boi’s changing that with the ballet he’ll be performing in on April 10th through the 13th in his hometown with the Atlanta Ballet Company. The ballet, big, will feature selections from the Outkast catalog (including “Bombs Over Baghdad” and “The Way You Move”) as well as music from his forthcoming album, with plans to take the show overseas in the Spring.
In an interview with Spin magazine about the project, Big Boi said, “I’ve dated a couple of ballerinas. But I was like, ‘That sounds kind of dope – let’s crank it up.’”
Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. Last Night’s Pics puts you in touch with all the action.
Ellen Page, Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Garner, Ryan Gosling, Padma Lakshmi, George Clooney, Javier Bardem, Djimon Hounsou, Terrence Howard, Emile Hirsch, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kate Winslet, Parker Posey, Penelope Cruz, Helen Mirren, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Michael Douglas were some of the stars who attended the The 2007 National Board Of Review Awards Gala.
For more photos of the gala, click here.
Hey future little duder or dudette, or whatever kind of creature you may be,
This is your dad Matthew McConaughey writing to you. Actor Matthew McConaughey. That’s right, I’m your pops. Don’t freak. I know Sahara will probably be like, your fave flick, but seriously, it’s not that big of a deal. What is a big deal is that you’re my kid and I love you. You were made out of love. Hot, sweaty, sandy love, with a little bit of ocean water and seaweed mixed in. Or you were created on the pull-out bed in my totally rad trailer. We can’t really remember, cuz it was one of those nights were I was hosting the full moon drum circle and stuff got a little nuts. But what matters is that we love you, dude, and I want to make sure you know one very important thing: your mom is smokin’ hot. So hot it hurts. I just wanted to bring that up. Anyway, I can’t wait to get to know you and stuff. I can’t believe I’ve actually made something good!
Peace out little guy,
PS – Please don’t go see Fool’s Gold.
Is it possible that John Mayer is actually not just a cool guy, but an even cooler ex-boyfriend? The cocky rocker posted a Jessica Simpson-defending manifesto on his blog, after the entire state of Texas and every member of Cowboy-nation blamed her for their team’s recent football failures (funny how no one actually blames the stupid dude who lost the game). The only problem with John’s sweet words is that they’re probably gonna make Jess (and her dad) fall back in love with John all over again. Now that would really punish Tony Romo for ruining the lives of millions of Texans. John blogged:
Dear Dallas and Surrounding Areas,
This isn’t a sports blog, and it isn’t a publicity stunt. (but have at me if it feels right.) This is about doing what I think is right as a person, in this case speaking my mind. I have never known anyone to have more pride in their home state and their upbringing in it than Jessica Simpson has in Texas. I don’t really follow sports, but I have played some of my biggest and best concerts in your state, and having witnessed how dynamic the spirit there is, I’m betting emotions are running high right about now. All witty barbs, blogs, and fashion policing aside, that girl loves Texas more than you know. It’s one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don’t try and take that away from her. (You probably wouldn’t be able to, but it’s less work for all involved.)
I just thought it would mean something coming from the guy who has the absolute least to gain from this. And if I’m out of line in having written it, too bad. I can spare a Wednesday’s worth of bad press if it means sticking up for a good soul.
Actor Brad Renfro Found Dead
The 25-year old had a history of drug and alcohol abuse in the past. Sad face. [People]
Zac Efron’s Adorable Appendix Removed
Don’t worry, legions of screaming girls, he’s gonna be fine and his scar’s gonna be sexy. [People]
Britney Caught Boning in Dressing Room
Brit made noises, walked around naked and bruoght her boyfriend in a store dressing room. But the best part is this eye-witness report: “”Her face was covered with cold sores and acne, and her scalp was patchy.” Ewwww! [NYP]
Gwyneth Hospitalized with Pregnancy Scare?
He recent trip to the emergency room might have been baby-related. Let’s hope Gwynnie and the future Orangeblossom Soupcan Paltrow-Martin are okay. [NYDN]
America Says No to Winehouse Visa
She’s trying to get to the Grammys, but the US won’t hand over the visa she needs to enter. Maybe the drugs were a bad idea afterall! [NYDN]
Here he is in all his nipple-ringed glory. Meet Down Under hotness Corey Delaney, who got in a little bit of trouble after a house party he threw while his parents were out of town exploded into a debauched, 500-person booze-fest, complete with appearances by the police force and Australia’s own “Dog Squad.” But you know what, he just doesn’t give a sh*t. Because he is the man, the second coming of Spicoli with way cooler glasses – glasses that have made him famous, glasses that he refuses take off. 16-year old rebellion has never been sexier, seriously. Corey’s now on the run, chilling with friends and wheeling and dealing with managers and other D List-loving bigwigs who want to give him money. We. Are. Swooning.
Our one complaint is that buzzkill news anchor who won’t shut up about him apologizing. Doesn’t she remember when she was 15 and running around like a lunatic after chugging wine coolers behind the bushes in a friend’s yard as the cops pulled up in front of the house? Come on! Adults are like, so LAME. Right mates?
- Carrie Underwood reveals that the love of her life is a dog. Aquanet, you’ve been replaced! [CityRag]
- Before going on trial, Wesley Snipes met with pastors in a makeshift vigil. Money: it’s something to pray about. [Crunk & Disorderly]
- A gorilla takes a shine to Ellen DeGeneres. I’m afraid to break it to him that he’s not her type. [Best Week Ever]
- Djimon Hounsou says that Kimora Lee is “the least high-maintenance lady I’ve ever dated.” That says more about his experience with ladies than Kimora’s character. [CONCRETELOOP]
- K-Fed‘s appearing on One Tree Hill tonight. Make sure to tune in: if not for him, do it for the children! The children! [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]