The Weekly Wrap Up: Britney’s Babies Go Bye Bye as Dog Spews Slurs & Tailor Made Spits

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Britney Makes a Butt Load of Money, Ya’ll

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britney-kevin-1102.jpgWhat would you do with $102,000 a month? If you were Britney Spears, you’d spend it on “entertainment, gifts and vacations.” Drugs are expensive, ya’ll! The singer rakes in approximately $737,868 per month, so she can afford to spend over $10,000 on utilities for her mansions, $16,000 on clothes and about $50,000 on mortages. Wow – looking like ass is seriously expensive! She must take a vacation a week while wearing a new diamond space suit each day to spend that much, and sadly she still has millions left over.
K-Fed meanwhile, spends much less, but the guy’s living off of child support and the $5 a month he’s still pulling in from sales of his not-so-successful record Playing With Fire. On average he drops $2000 on clothes and $5000 on entertainment per month. He must know some cheap strippers!

But the most hilarious – and depressing – amount is what Little Miss Rich Pants and her ex give to charity. From that six figure number, Brit gives just $500 a month to her organization the Britney Spears Foundation. Kevin, on the other hand, gave nothing to help any causes, but isn’t that because he’s basically a charity case himself? [TMZ. Image: Getty]

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Dog the Bounty Hunter Backstabbed by Son

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dog-chapman-1102.jpgThe story of Dog Chapman‘s super racist phone call to his son just got wayyyyy more interesting, as it turns out his son is the one who taped their conversation and sold it to the tabloids. Pay attention Jayden James – you could learn something from this guy! The bounty hunter spent the whole conversation bashing his kid’s African American girlfriend with totally crude language and a bevy of racial slurs – something that will surely lead a kid to rebel in the name of love and loyalty, right? Dog’s lawyer said of Tucker Chapman‘s sly move, “I guess because of whatever level of anger he had of his father, he felt the need to express it in that manner.” Did he?! Dog’s reputation and career is f*cked – whether or not it should be based on what he did is up for the masses to debate. Tucker works for his dad and is also featured on the show, so he’s either totally screwed or seriously liberated – and we’re totally enthralled. [AP. Image: Getty]

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Nothing But Nets

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VH1 is teaming with the charity NothingButNets.net and the first result of the partnership can be see in the video clip above. The PSA above features Best Week Ever cast members Sherrod Small, Chuck Nice and Laurie Kilmartin and aims to raise awareness of the havoc malaria wreaks on people living in Africa. The stats are mind-boggling: Each year, malaria infects approximately 300-500 million people around the world, killing more than one million. Ninety percent of those who die are African children: one child every 30 seconds. But you can help. The clip’s press release details how:

A $10 donation at NothingButNets.net is all it takes to purchase and distribute a bed net and educate the recipient on its proper use. It’s an easy way for concerned individuals to take part in the solution to save lives and get involved in the global fight to combat malaria.

Think about it.

About Last Night: Ultra Fresh Party Pics

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Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. About Last Night puts you in touch with all the action.

The MTV Europe Music Awards was loaded with stars such as Amy Winehouse, Joss Stone, the Foo Fighters, Babyshambles, Nelly Furtado, Snoop Dogg, Mika, Jared Leto, Avril Lavigne, and Will.I.Am.

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes looked sleek at the AFI Fest 2007′s premiere of Lions for Lambs. Will Smith, Meryl Streep, and Robert Redford were also on the red carpet.

Kate Winslet, Jennifer Connelly, Helen Mirren, Denzel Washington, and Thandie Newton attended the
16th Annual BAFTA/LA Cunard Britannia Awards.

The Office: Pranking Works Best with an Industrial Copier

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Employees, let last night’s episode of The Office be a serious warning to you all – anyone who tries to leave here for a different branch will be attacked by the dummy in my office that I’m using to hide and write this somewhere else, or the industrial copier.

Per this weekly memo, attached are the best and brightest moments from this week’s Office ep. Please review and respond with your thoughts and insight. PowerPoint to follow.

1. I’m already a member of my own Finer Things Club, so please don’t insult my by inviting me to your lesser Finer Things Club. Unless, of course, your things are finer than mine. My group meets at Taco Bell and is discussing the Choose Your Own Adventure book series this week. What could be classier?

Read more…

Jay Supports Nas’ Use of N-Word

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NasStreet disciple Nas ignited an Imus-tastic scale controversy a few weeks ago when he announced he’d be calling his forthcoming release, due out December 11, Nigger. After an initial denial, Nas’ record label announced their plan to fully support Nas’ contentious choice of an album title.

Now, the hip-hop heavyweight has received a benediction from none other than Jay-Z, the reigning king, who supports Nas’ decision, but not without some hesitancy. “I know he’s very intelligent and there’s a reason behind what he’s doing,” Jay told MTV News. “He’s not just doing it for the sake of being provocative. Of course we’re going to support his art. … I hope [the concept] is coming from a great place. I believe it’s coming from a great place. I just think it’s misguided. People give strength to words, power to words. If your remove ‘nigger,’ then you have ‘jiggaboo’ and ‘porch monkey,’ the words will keep continuing. How many words you gonna take out? People give the words power. I think we need to direct that [energy] towards the community.”

While compelling discourse, Jay’s support also marks the official hatchet-burying between the formal rivals. Most recently, Nas traded rhymes with Jay on “Success,” off Hovito’s brand new album American Gangster, out November 6.

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Friday’s Reviews Rage: Bee Movie

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Every week we round up selections from the funniest and most brutal film criticism out there so that you don’t waste your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: Bee Movie is an animated film that stars the vocal talents and facial tics of Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Renee Zellweger, among others. It’s so saturated the media it seems like Dreamworks and Paramount began promoting it, oh, back in 1968 (did you watch the season premiere of 30 Rock, for instance?). Even still, the critics aren’t impressed. Not that they ever are. Fun-haters!

Bee Movie isn’t a B movie, it’s a Z movie, as in dizmal. This animated feature might have been tolerable, though for what demographic I’m not sure, if its hyper vocal star, Jerry Seinfeld, had chosen to drone. Instead, he delivers every line — every stupid bee joke that he and his cronies could cook up — with a pounding, punishing triumphalism that recalls not the Seinfeld of Seinfeld but Milton Berle on a really bad night. As you may have gleaned from a publicity campaign that’s been slightly less invasive than the influenza pandemic of 1918 . . . .” – The Wall Street Journal

“Based on the patter he comes up with for his character’s shtick, Seinfeld seems to have devolved from the witty observer of human nature we saw on TV into a bad Catskills comic.” – USA Today
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John Mayer Redefines “Shrimping”

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In our final installment of John Mayer playing a side-burned prima donna [Ed: Is there anything this guy can't do?!?] Johnny makes his three-day, music-filled cruise sound more like the Love Boat as he describes the practice of shrimping.

And though the contest to stowaway aboard Cap’n John’s ship may have ended, it’s not too late to purchase tickets for the Mayercraft cruise. Ahoy!

Oprah: Let Them Eat Cell Phones

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The abuse scandal that’s rocked Oprah Winfrey‘s South African school for girls has resulted in the arrest of the school’s matron (whatever that is). But more importantly, it’s resulted in a solution from Oprah: cell phones. Oprah is said to be passing out phones to each of the students enrolled at her school so that they can call her at any time, should a crisis erupt. In that event, Oprah will slide down the pole in her house and emerge with her cape on. And then, using nothing more than her super powers, she’ll fly over to Africa. Just a little trans-Atlantic excursion. No biggie.

These cellies are like the Bat Phone but with, y’know, more buttons. [People.com / Image: Getty]