Britney and Madonna: Terrorist Targets?

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brit_madonna.jpg

Britney Spears and Madonna have been threatened with forcible Islamic conversion and, if that doesn’t work, death. The hate-slinging comes courtesy of Muhammad Abdel-Al, mouthpiece and senior leader of the Popular Resistance Committees, a militant Palestinian organization that reps the Gaza Strip. According to a new book, Schmoozing With Terrorists, Mo promises that, “if these two prostitutes keep doing what they will do, we of course will punish them…We can stone them and even we can kill them.” He’s also quoted as having proclaimed:

If I meet these whores I will have the honor – I repeat, I will have the honor – to be the first one to cut the heads off Madonna and Britney Spears if they will keep spreading their satanic culture against Islam.

Leave it to religious fundamentalists to take music criticism to a new level. They often get called out by Westerners for being “backwards,” but clearly, they are innovators. [WorldNetDaily / Image credit: Getty]

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Kim Kardashian is Slowly Becoming Paris

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kimkardashianparishilton.jpgWatch your back Paris! Kim Kardashian is about to go all Single White Female on your Hilton ass. Slowly but surely, Kim is taking over the heiress’ life. Give her a year and she’ll be carrying five chihuahuas and flashing her vag while wearing a grandma bouffant. Kim’s new reality show on the E! network is set to replace her ex-best friend’s former hit The Simple Life, and cameras are already following the sexy, big-assed celebutard wherever she goes. This past weekend, Kim took Paris’ spot in the Heatherette fashion show, modeling the LA designers’ goods (along with porn star Jenna Jameson) while P shot her new movie in Toronto. Next we’ll probably see Kim making out with Adrian Grenier and driving drunk after visiting In-n-Out Burger. It’ll just look that much hotter (and you know, bigger in the booty). [E Online. Images: Getty]

Check out more Kardashian hotness below!

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Hottie of the Week: Eve

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Congrats Eve!
Photo_20x9_1 All Eve Photos

She used to be known as Eve of Destruction, but these days Eve’s in far chipper spirits. The former first lady of the Ruff Ryders is about to release her fourth album, Here I Am, which features Eve actually singing, plus the talents of Adam Levine, Shakira and Swizz Beatz, among many, many others. We can’t wait to see what the paw-printed princess has planned, but judging from “Tambourine” and the video for that song, we’re in for a Technicolor dream-world that’s rainbow colored, sexy and totally toned. Eve’s always been a force to be reckoned with. She’s a musician first, but also has had a fledgling clothing line (Fetish), a UPN sitcom (Eve) and numerous film appearances. She’s had her fair share of scandals, too: There was a sex-tape circulated around the Internet, and earlier this year, she was arrested for a DUI. While she was in prison, Sean Penn came to visit her, which sparked a flurry of rumors about their relationship, none of which appear to be true. What is true is that we can’t wait for Eve’s new album, and that she’s definitely a beauty. Check her out here, and don’t forget to tune in when she hosts the Vibe Awards on Wednesday, November 14. It’s going to be hottt.

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Led Zeppelin Back In Action

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Led Zeppelin Reunites
Robert Plant told NME about the probable Zep reunion a week or so ago, and the buzz has been bouncing around the world. Now the band itself has confirmed it. On November 26 in London, Plant, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham will convene to explode one of classic rock’s most cherished songbooks. The charity concert, which also features Pete Townshend, Paolo Nutini, Foreigner, and Bill Wyman and the Rhythm Kings, is a celebration of beloved Atlantic Records founder and famed producer Ahmet Ertegun (check out this great documentary of Ertegun’s accomplishments). Tickets are available by ballot only. A Website on which to register is forthcoming. Mothership, their latest greatest hits disc, will be released on November 13.

Why are Zep fans so excited? Kick up the volume of your computer and cruise through these fab videos to reacquaint yourself with the foursome’s power.

Britney’s VMAs Flop: Conspiracy Theories

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If you have two eyes and watched Britney move around on the VMAs stage like a tired raver trying to dance at 10AM after a night of hardcore clubbing, you’ll know that there really is no conspiracy involving her crappy performance. Britney straight up sucked it, but the excuses and stories keep pouring in placing the blame for Brit’s disaster on anyone and anything. We break ‘em down below, and all they really prove is that Brit is still a sloppy mess with ratty hair.

The Boot Heel:

Theory – Britney’s boot heel snapped at the beginning of the performance (check out the video “proving” this theory above).

Response - Maybe, but a broken boot heel doesn’t put a glazed look in one’s eye.


The Hairdresser:

Theory - Ken Paves – Jessica Simpson’s elfish hair stylist – was supposed to do Brit’s mane but quit at the last minute, after Brit was difficult to work with. So the singer supposedly styled her own hair with extensions from Jessica Simpson’s Hair-U-Wear line.

Response – So that’s why her hair looked so cheap! It’ still no excuse for forgetting how to lipsynch.

The Fat Pig:

Theory - MTV wanted Britney to wear a “form-flattering corset,” but Brit opted for that bikini number instead. Shortly before the show, she had an epiphany: She no longer has the body of a teenager.

Response - This doesn’t explain her failure on-stage, but maybe why she supposedly cried ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig! as she ran off-stage after her flop. Brit – for the record, you may have sucked, but you looked nice n’ healthy in that fugly bikini.

[Video via DListed]

Wednesday: J. Lo Rocks A New Belly, MTV Still Loves Kanye

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jenniferlopez0912.jpgLindsay: Back in Court
Even though she’s in rehab, LiLo can’t escape the law, as the actress is being forced back to court to deal with a 2005 car accident. It’s almost like she’s addicted to driving like an idiot. [E Online]

Pics: Is That a J. Lo Baby Bump?
The starlet looks like she’s got a tiny baby bulge behind that fancy dress (check out the pic!). Is there a little Lopez on the way? [Just Jared]

Ashlee’s Two Men Duke It Out
Simpson’s dad and boyfriend battled with a nightclub bodyguard who pushed the starlet. Sounds real chivalrous – but what was she doing hanging with her father? [NYDN]

Timberlake Loses Voice, Cancels Shows
Aw, poor Justin. All that hollerin’ he did at the VMAs has finally caught up with him. Guess you can only bring so much sexiness back before it starts to wreck you. [Us Weekly]

MTV Attempts Peace with Kanye

The network tried to make nice with the whiny star, who vowed never to work with MTV again. Just give the guy a couple moon men so he’ll shut the eff up. [People]

Rock on TV – The Shortlist

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Mandy_MooreJonesing for music on your television set? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1’s Rock on TV schedule daily.

Beach Blanket Bingo, 6:30 a.m. (EST), ELOV: Cast your mind back to a simpler time — Britney had hair, Kanye had an appropriately sized ego, and there wasn’t even a show called Flavor of Love. Now subtract forty years, and you’re in the right era for this delightful relic of singing cinema — a bike gang kidnaps a matinee idol, and sky-diving surfers are involved. With Annette Funicello, Frankie Avalon, and Brian Wilson before he lost it.
Chasing Liberty, 8:00 p.m. (EST), FAM: Now here’s a double bill you don’t see every day: Mandy “I’m not a teen pop star any” Moore with Philly hip hop outfit the Roots. Works though, in this love-on-the-run teen vehicle that features Mandums as the frustrated First Daughter, and the Roots live in concert.

Hip-Hop Honors: Common Respects Missy

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CommonIt’s no secret what we think of Missy, Snoop, Tribe, WHODINI and Wild Style: we love them so much, we’re honoring them, along with Teddy Riley and Andre Harrell’s job at bringing New Jack Swing to the masses, at the 2007 Hip Hop Honors. If we were host Tracy Morgan, we might say we want to take them out back behind the middle school and get them pregnant. So since you already know what we think, we thought we’d ask some of hip hop’s deftest minds and smoothest voices what they think of the honorees. Here’s Common, who you can watch perform at the ceremony on October 8th at 10 p.m., on Missy Elliott:

Missy man! She, to me, brought in a whole new sound as far as her style of rap. It was easygoing and feel good, and at the same token there was some cleverness to it. She brought a lot of personality to the mic. Visually she did a lot of great things. She’s definitely somebody that should be noted as one of the great writers of this era. From a female perspective, I think she brought things that everybody could relate to, male or female.

Tila Tequila Takes All Comers

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tequila.jpgOur fair sister network, MTV, has greenlit a somewhat interesting dating show: A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila. The idea behind it? Television’s very first bisexual dating game. Tila Tequila is the Internet celebrity said to be the most popular person on MySpace (and with over 2 million “friends,” whoever’s saying that just might be right). The show will feature 16 straight lesbians and 16 guys debasing themselv. . . er, vying for Tila’s love and attention. As the sexes and sexual orientations do battle, Tila becomes ever more famous and MTV breaks new ground. Or something. Says Ms. Tequila: “The only twist is that these guys and these girls have NO IDEA that I am bisexual and that they are competing against each others sexes!!! GUYS AGAINST GIRLS….WHO WILL I END UP HOOKING UP WITH????? WILL I BE STRAIGHT OR LESBIAN IN THE END?????” Jeez. They’re going to be untangling this one out in wymyn’s studies for the next 50 years or so. And that cash-register noise? Sounds like Tila’s got money in the bank. What you think about that?

Tune in to MTV October 9th at 10 p.m. and check our gallery of Tila Tequila pics.

Blog Best-Of: Kanye’s Conniption

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kanye_links.jpg- Now you can watch Kanye West‘s post-VMA’s temper tantrum. Someone get this guy a Moon Man with a nipple attached to pacify him. [Crunk + Disorderly]

- Rosie O’Donnell implies that Barbara Walters should retire. Simultaneously, Rosie implies that she has no idea what she’s talking about. [Dlisted]

- You know that Tom Cruise and Britney Spears suck, but did you know that they suck Starbucks coffee? [CityRag]

- Keyshia Cole reveals that she when she spotted her ex with another girl, she “tried to rip her head off.” Once she gets that veterinary degree, she’ll know how to sew it back on. [CONCRETELOOP]

- The Tyra Show‘s move to New York is represented in a Wizard of Oz-inspired montage during the season premiere. Such heart! Such nerve! The only thing Tyra’s missing? A brain. [Jezebel]

[Image: Getty]

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