Timbaland To Produce Baby, More Tracks

by

timbalandUbiquitous producer Timbaland is set to be a father by the end of November, according to sources close to the track master. The New York Post is reporting that Tim is expecting a girl with a woman who works at his Mosley Music Group. Though the pair aren’t together, the Post reports Tim will be “very involved in the child’s upbringing.”

What could that possibly mean? We’ve got a few ideas:

1. Checks from “Aunt Missy” on birthday.

2. Justin Timberlake as godparent.

3. Nelly Furtado attends Show and Tell at school whenever the lil’ one wants.

TomKat: Happy Anniversary Weirdos!

by

tomkat.jpg

Yesterday, the most romantic, real couple in the world celebrated the one-year anniversary of their marriage. Congraulations! Granted, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are so in love they probably didn’t even notice. “Where did the time go?” they wonder as they watch their nanny bounce baby Suri in her baby swing. In case your stomach is strong enough to remember the roots of their love, check out this video that takes us all the way back to those carefree days of two years ago, when all Katie and Tom knew how to say was “excited,” “honored,” “amazing,” and “in love.” A special congrats to Ms. Kate – one year down, and only four more to go in your secret Scientology love contract! Don’t feel bad, we’d probably take the money too. [Images: Getty]

Scott Baio Is…A Daddy!

by

scott_baio_father.jpg

The wait is over — Life & Style reports that Scott Baio‘s fiancée Renee Sloan gave birth to their child on Nov. 2. Details are scant (all we know is that the baby weighed 5 lbs., 10 ounces), but it could be that Scott and Renee are saving them for TV: a new reality show, the follow-up to Scott Baio Is…45 and Single, chronicling the couple’s pregnancy is due early next year.

Boy, girl, whatever: congrats, Scott and Renee! [Life&Style Weekly via Dlisted / Image: Getty]

Kanye Cries for His Mama

by

Poor Kanye. We feel for the guy, we really do. Losing a parent is so hard, and then to break down and weep in front of an audience has gotta feel so weird. But you know what? This whole awful situation has humanized Kanye so much that we’ve pretty much forgotten all that egotistic, tantrum-filled BS he normally pulls. So that’s gotta count for something, right? And we’re sure his mom would be really proud of him standing up in front of a crowd and doing a show so soon after she passed away. Kudos to you, Kanye West. Kudos.

Monday: Nicole Richie’s Big Baby Bash

by

nicolerichie.jpgNicole’s Shower Reveals Baby Boy?
Pals like Paris were spotted bringing boyish gifts to Richie’s Wizard of Oz themed baby shower. Lil Madden will be able to fit into Mommy’s clothes in no time! [People]

Carrie Underwood Wins Again
Now the Idol’s got 3 American Music Awards under her couture belt. Take that Kelly! [Us]

No One Cares About Paris Anymore
No one is photographing Paris anymore! The world may not be able to agree on how to attain universal peace, but at least we all can all get behind hating Paris. [TMZ]

Amy Winehouse Puff Puffs, Freaks
The singer was busted for constantly smoking in the bathroom of an airplane, on an hour long flight. Er, obviously? [DListed]

Pics: Tom Cruise is Seriously Fat and Bald
He may be in costume, but this look isn’t that far off. This is what Katie gets for marrying a dude 20 years older! [DListed]

A Prayer For Britney Spears

by

britney-spears-1116.jpgToday we learned about the Hollywood Prayer Network, a group of people praying for celebrities and the entertainment industry. If you are a “Christian professional in Hollywood” you can request prayers from the group as well. We can think of one person in La La Land who might need a little love from above. Maybe God – or at least the Hollywood Prayer Network – will hear our plea.

Dear Person in the Sky Up Above,
Today Britney Spears was told by the judge in her custody case that she can not drive with her kids in her car anymore. So I pray she stops wearing sunglasses while she drives and that she puts an end to all her red-light running. Also if you could bless the feet of the photographers that she has run over, that would be swell. I’d also like to pray that Britney’s car becomes an airplane so she can fly all over Los Angeles to the various Starbucks and tanning salons she must frequent every day. Even better – please put a Starbucks and a tanning salon on a cloud so then she can fly her car-plane to them without running into the paparazzi. This will prevent all accidents from happening. If anyone can do it, it’s you God. I hope this isn’t too much to ask for, but a car that can fly is probably peanuts compare to like hurricanes and stuff. Also, can you fix my TiVo? Thanks. Laters! [Yahoo. Getty]

Lindsay Lohan’s 84-Minute Jail Stint

by

lindsaylohan-mug-shots.jpg

Wow what a difference 5 months, a new hair color, and thousands of dollars worth of rehab can make! Lindsay Lohan snuck into jail yesterday to complete her required 1 day sentence. She got there at 10:30 AM and was out by 11:54 AM, making her stint in jail a whole lot shorter than Paris’! The sheriff’s spokesman said, “She was nice and cooperative. Everything was fine.” Fine like – her lips look bigger, her hair is a more strawberryish blonde, her eye makeup is poppin’, and she was totally rockin’ her new hot ‘I love scarves’ look. She just looks way more down with being behind bars, doesn’t she? Everything is definitely fine with LiLo. [Booking Photos]

Vanessa Minnillo Headed to Playboy?

by

vanessa_minnillo.jpgVanessa Minillo reportedly is being courted by Playboy to share her assets in a nude pictorial. An editor at Playboy has been quoted as having said: “Vanessa is absolutely right for Playboy. She’s very sexy and more sophisticated than a lot of women her age.” Supposedly, In Touch is the supposed source of the story (per this blog, where the news seemed to surface online) however, there’s no real proof that the story has any validity. Not that there needs to be: of course Playboy would court Minnillo. First of all, they court anything with a vagina and a semi-symmetrical face. Second of all, those shots of Vanessa and bf Nick Lachey doing the nasty that leaked this year proved that she can perform on camera. Third of all, what else does she have to do besides posing for Playboy? It’s practically manifest destiny at this point.

Kim Kardashian Thinks Her Bod is “Normal”

by

kimk-1116.jpgWe were wrong! Kim Kardashian didn’t do Playboy for the money, or to garner more attention, or jump-start her career as a full fledged celebutard. She did it to help us women feel better about our bodies! Kim said recently about her spread in the nudie rag, “I did it because I’m not one of those stick-skinny girls you see. I felt like girls today need to see a normal body.”

Um, okay. Two things.

1. To see a normal body, dear society-changing Kim, all we “girls” need to do is look in the mirror.

2. Dash’s body is probably the least normal thing the planet earth has ever seen. If Kim had told us that she had her teeny tiny waist, giant boobs and massive butt molded out of clay on a spaceship and was then sent to this earth to taunt us with her voluptuous bumps, we’d believe her. NORMAL? Her body is like My Humps on acid. Maybe she needs to take a look in the mirror, too. Kim also said that her mom was the force behind her naked romp. “My mom actually pushed me to do it!” She said. “I think she’s living vicariously through me a little bit.”

We can guess what part of Kim’s body her mom is living in! Below we’ve compiled every Kim Kardashian pic that we’ve ever put in the VH1 Blog to help you decide whether her bootylicious body is normal or not. [NYDN. Images: Getty]

Amy Winehouse: Beehive Full of Drugs?

by

Not to quote Fox News or anything, but this is one of those ‘we report, you decide’ kind of moments. What we’re reporting is this here video above, of the world’s greatest train wreck (sorry Britney), Amy Winehouse, performing in concert in Zurich on October 25th. She appears to be fiddling around with her beehive for a while when she’s supposed to be singing the Toots and the Maytals song “Monkey Man.” It then looks like she hides something in her sleeve, lifts her hand to her nose and does something that looks a lot like snorting. Give it a watch and let us know what you think – is she storing coke up in that massive beehive, or just some tissues for a stuffy nose? Given the fact that her tour manager just quit because he was supposedly getting a contact high (that showed up in his bloodstream) from all the heroin smoked on Winehouse’s tour bus, we are quick to assume the former.