Alicia Keys Bails on Club Gig
The singer-turned-diva peaces out on a club appearance after promoters came up $4000 short of the promised $15,000 she was owed. This sounds more like Mariah than Alicia. Eek. [NYDN]
Mourning Kanye Cancels Show
The rapper has apparently canceled a scheduled performance at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Sadness (for Kanye, not the models). [People]
Nicole & Joel Create Charity for Moms
The expecting rents have created a charity and are asking guests at their baby shower to make donations in lieu of presents. Finally, Nicole does something truly ‘hot.’ [Us]
Paris: Still Pole Dancing After All These Years
The pole is like her security blanket, she can’t be in a club without it between her legs. How cute. [NYP]
OJ Simpson Will Stand Trial
The Juice is gonna let loose in court for those Vegas robbery charges. Will he get off and go two for two? [CNN]
-Bobby Brown makes a triumphant return to the stage. I mean, just the fact that he could find the stage is a triumph, right? [Crunk + Disorderly]
- The biological mother of Angelina Jolie‘s adopted daughter Zahara reportedly wants her back. Well of course she does, now that Zahara’s a star. [Dlisted]
- Lindsay Lohan discovers the joy of scarves. The rest of the world will discover its own joy when Lindsay realizes they can also be used as gags. [CityRag]
- Kim and family pose for an In Touch shoot titled Thanksgiving With the Kardashians. At least you’d never have to choose between breast or thigh. [Jezebel]
- Paris Hilton buys another dog. Could this finally be the one to devour her in her sleep? [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Irv Gotti has a lot of explaining to do, and explain he does: every week he gives us blow-by-blow commentary on the latest episode of Gotti’s Way. After the jump, Irv talks about getting back in the studio to produce records, Deb’s accusation that he’s a “bad example” for his kids, and his parents’ 51-year relationship.
Pete Wentz and his band Fall Out Boy traveled to Africa to film the video for [deep breath] “I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You),” the disturbing and beautiful clip spotlighting the child soldiers of Uganda. The band’s bassist was keen to tell us all about the project, from how they shot it on the cheap to what got him interested in Africa in the first place. Check out Wentz and company on this Saturday’s Top 20 Video Countdown.
I was at a very high point of my own narcissistic anxiety when I first started taking an interest in Africa. There’s this program called Displace Me where people go to camps and sleep there, to empathize with the displacement camps in Uganda. I’ll be honest, I didn’t really feel that moved. It was only missing the s’mores. That was what really made me decide that we had to go to Africa. We met the kids [in the video] — we actually picked between a couple of kids. The boy was one of the ones I chose, the director chose the girl. The kids in the village we got to know. We would see them every day.
We shot it on the cheap — we really spent most of the money getting to Africa and donating what was left to [charity] Invisible Children, so the only thing we really spent money on was film. We built everything. [The sets] would not fly in the U.S. — we built all these gates and these different arms that would hold the camera. We only brought a four-man crew, and a group of Kenyans did our lighting for us.
I was worried that the concept was too dangerous to be played on video networks and I was worried that at points, the story would be hard to follow. I was worried that [standards] wasn’t going to pass the violence in the middle, and across the board they passed it.The first time Patrick watched it, he cried. When I look at different images, they’re upsetting for me. [In making of this video] I was really proud of how far everyone in the band had gone, because each person had their own personal limits, and everyone surpassed them.
Tequila, light of my life, fire of my loins.
My sin, my soul. Te-qui-la: the tip of the tongue
taking a trip of three steps down the palate
to tap, at three, on the teeth. Te. Qui. La.
– Matt and Jonathan, the VH1 Blog
Would you believe, Tila, that we wrote this poem for you? It should be as clear as the report of a rifle that we adore you, that we would never forsake you, that you belong with us. It should also be clear that your suitors can’t even gather the courage to eat a perfectly cooked piece of bull flesh in your honor. We’d expect more, at least from the lesbians. You asked the remaining ninnies in the house to “man up” while each eating a bull’s penis and testicles. Perhaps it was the anatomical arrangement of the flesh, pictured below, that made them so queasy.
Surely, some of the men were eager to close their pretty lips around such privy parts. We remember Bobby, who won this genitals-eating competition, orally copulating a bottle in a recent episode. As for the rest, they would have fared better had they practiced mind over matter. Let’s look at how your suitors performed.
Like this (Brandi):
And this (Amanda):
And this (Steven):
And this (Venessa):
And, finally, this (Venessa, again):
It was Bring a Celebrity to the Picket Line in Los Angeles yesterday, and tons of big stars were out to support the TV writers on strike. Everyone from Ben Stiller to Ray Romano and Sarah Silverman put on their sneakers and took to the streets, getting behind the folks that make them look good on screen. We picked out the big guns for you to browse through below.
Putting their pens down: Sarah Silverman, Kathy Griffith, Matthew Perry, Lisa Kudrow, Seth Green, Laura Linney, Minnie Driver, Lily Tomlin, Marg Helgenberger, Jason Alexander, Ben Stiller, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Ray Romano, Zach Braff, Donald Faison.
Dear little dancing girl who loves to sing the Backstreet Boys in an off-key voice while waving her hands like she just don’t care what rhythm is,
Hey there. We are a lot older than you and therefore smarter by default (and thanks to some mortifying life experiences). Here is some sage advice: turn off the webcam. Place it into a pillowcase, along with your glasses, stripped sweater and computer. Get in your parents’ car (this is totally fine), drive to the closet lake (we’re guessing Erie), steal a boat (again, acceptable in this situation) and drive it out into the middle of the lake. Now dump everything in the water, make sure it falls far away to the bottom, turn around, drive the boat and car home, and never look back.
PS: Watch your language!
PPS: We love you.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet your Sexiest Man of 2007: Matt Damon. I know right? A total travesty. He looks muddled, lost and in need of some serious love from that magical nymph better known as airbrushing. The worst part is, Matt knows it too! It’s as if that pic was snapped right as Matt was uttering “Are you serious, guys?” So let’s take the pressure off our of pal Matt, and offer up some other worthy men who may be willing to take on the cause of being damn sexy in ’07.
Okay maybe this is a stretch seeing as Maddox Jolie-Pitt is only six, but we think he beats out his dad Brad in the sexy category hands down. And no, it’s not cause we’re pedophiles, but because we respect the man who can shut Angelina Jolie up. Mad’s not afraid to use the force – of his tiny hands – to stop the Mother Saint from preaching. Now isn’t that like the sexiest thing a guy can do?
Don’t you miss Midget Mac? Ever since New York gave him the boot on I Love New York 2, things haven’t been the same. His gruff little laugh, buff arms and willingness to tell it like it is – always – is a whole lot more attractive than Mr. Damon and his head full of hair product. Plus he’s genuinely looking for love! We say sexy! Read more…
“I grew up being teased because I have really small arms. I love my arms now. I don’t want big fat arms. I’m a woman, I’m supposed to be nice and dainty,” says the latest of America’s Most Smartest Model‘s booted contestant, Blonde Rachel. And the verbal gems keep rolling. After the jump, Rachel talks about her unceremonious elimination, eating-disorder allegations and the “free porn” she and V.J. provided the camera crew with. Oh yeah, she goes there.
We always enjoy it when actual sentences come out of Heidi Montag‘s mouth, because she spends most of her time on The Hills muttering things like “Yeah!” and “I mean,” and of course “I love Spencer!” All nonsense. But who knew the girl was gonna come forward and reveal that she’s a religious, Bible-reading bookworm who’s like, totally acted in an “old English play?” In an interview in the latest issue of Blender we meet the real Heidi, and if you believe her, Meryl Streep better watch her back. She says:
- She’s a natural actor! “I’ve always been singing. I’ve been dancing since I was 2—hip-hop, jazz, tap, everything. I was a wicked stepsister in Cinderella. I was a fairy in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I was Beatrice in . . . an old English play. Acting, singing, dancing —it’s always been in me.”
- She’s gonna like, totally win one of those statue things. “I also plan to win an Oscar. I’m very ambitious.”
- Her engagement is real, she just hates wearing it because it’s painful and fugly. “I take it off at night because it’s big and I don’t want it getting caught in my hair or scratching my face…”
- She loves Jesus! “I like to read a couple books at once…Right now I’m also reading the Bible, beginning to end. I’m very religious. That’s how I’ve gotten to where I am.”
Ah yes, religion has totally led her to backstab her best friend, fall in love with the devil, and fill her body with plastic so she can pose in various bikinis on a beach. Amen girlfriend!