Britney Bolts to Belgium

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Weirdo!Britney’s apparently decided to head across the Atlantic to woo the Europeans with her adorable meltdowns. They’re probably a lot cooler with craziness than we Americans are. According to the latest cover of Star (see pic, left), Brit was plotting to head to France with her kids. While it appears that the kids are currently with K-Fed, Britney was allegedly spotted taking one of her signature piss breaks at a restaurant in Belgium wearing an ill-fitted wig. Maybe she is on her way to London to save Pete Doherty’s cats. K-Fed supposedly was worried that Brit would try to kidnap the kids and take them overseas. I’m sure he’s pretty relieved that she decided just to bring a couple of wigs instead. Bon Voyage! [Dlisted]

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Lindsay Caught Buying Beer in Rehab?

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lindsay082207.jpgLindsay Lohan apparently staged a photoshoot with OK! Magazine of her stint in rehab, posing for pics that show the starlet all cleaned up reading the Alcoholics Anonymous handbook and doing other “positive things.” She also seems to have lucked out with her legal issues as well, as she may only end up with a few days worth of jail time for her DUI charges, as opposed to the two year term she could face. But don’t go thinking Linds is off the hook just yet! An anonymous caller who phoned into a Utah radio show this morning (the most reliable source in the world!) allegedly spotted Loh-blow buying some Miller Lite at a convenience store last night. When fans asked for autographs, the source said her bodyguard replied, “This is not a good time.” What? It’s a perfect time! Get OK! mag in there for another staged photoshoot – of Lindsay’s booze relapse. [Image: Getty]

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Pete Doherty’s Cats are High on Crack

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pete0822072.jpgYou know those moments when you see a pic of a celeb with like, a giant zit, and you think to yourself, “Hey, celebrities are regular people – just like me.” Well this is NOT one of those moments. Kate Moss’ crazy sometimes-boyfriend Pete Doherty is a notorious drug addict (crack, coke, heroin – the usual), and now it seems like he’s gotten his kitties hooked on the stuff too. After his cat Dinger (which is junkie slang for syringe, apparently) had a litter of five kittens, one ended up sick. A blood test done by the veterinarian turned up – what else?! – cocaine in the cat’s bloodstream. I know he’s probably desperate for some pals to get high with, but animal cruelty is not the answer. Though it is kind of fun to imagine Pete making tiny straws out of gum wrappers for his kitties to use for snortin’. [SeriouslyOMG/Getty]

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Interweb Superstar Kelly Hits
I Hate My 30s

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If you’ve never seen Kelly’s video for “Shoes,” then truly, you have truly been missing out. Kelly is the alter-ego of comedian Liam Sullivan, and she rose to fame off this video. Apparently, she like shoes. If you tell her she has big feet she’ll stomp you. She hates her parents. And she’s also in this week’s episode of I Hate My 30s.

After an argument with her mother, Kelly shows up on her cousin Kyle’s doorstep. In very short order she manages to disrupt the entire cast of the show, wreaking havoc like only a 16-year-old obsessive with the personal hygiene of a bottom-feeding mud wrestler possibly could. Check back on Friday for our recap of the show, plus our interview with Kelly. Revealing.

I Hate My 30s airs this Thursday at 10:30 p.m. (EDT).

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Beyoncé’s Bouncy Boob Flash

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Beyoncé can’t seem to keep herself off the internet. First it was her glorious tumble down a set of stairs on-stage, and now it’s this clip of her performing in concert and giving a nice shot of her lady bits to the audience…and us. We can’t quite make out if we’re seeing her actual Beyoncé breasts or a flesh colored bra. What do you see? [SOHH]

The pics below don’t reveal any flesh, but they’re still hot.

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Dylan, the Stones and Cash (sort of) Go to the Movies

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We already know what you’re asking for for Christmas: tickets to Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. Starring John C. Reilly, this send-up of Walk the Line looks profoundly hilarious, and has the added bonus of featuring actual rock stars (Eddie Vedder, Jack White, and…uh…Jewel).

Speaking of Jack White cameos, check out the trailer for the much-anticipated Scorcese directed concert film of the Rolling Stones at the Beacon Theatre.

And finally, a trailer for the very avant Bob Dylan meta-biopic I’m Not There (six Dylans for the price of one!), featuring Cate Blanchett, Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Richard Gere, Marcus Carl Franklin and Ben Whishaw. Is it just us, or does Cate seem to come closest to the genuine article?

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Pregnant Foxy Brown Thrown in Jail

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foxy082207.jpgThe rap diva (and her ill na na) has just been sent back to jail to wait out her next court hearing after she violated her probation twice in the past few weeks. A source revealed that Foxy, who was not expecting to get thrown in the clink, had a “priceless” look on her face when the judge announced her fate. At least now she has time to think over the recent mistakes she’s made. Like she probably she have thought a little first before giving cops false information when she was pulled over this week. She definitely shouldn’t have run through that stop sign. Oh – and that whole driving on a suspended license thing was a bad idea too. Foxy, WTF were you thinking?! [TMZ. Image: Getty]

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Paris to Write Another Book We Won’t Read

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Paris HiltonWe didn’t realize Paris knew how to hold a pencil much less type on a keyboard, but apparently that’s one of her many passions. She has so many talents! So of course P has just gotta write another book, after fans went crazy for her first masterpiece, Confessions of an Heiress. Her literary agent confirms that a manuscript is in the works, but that it’s probably not going to be a “prison diary.” That’s cool with us! We’re more interested in reading about what it feels like to get extensions put in and what it’s like to tan for a month straight. You know – the interesting, nitty-gritty stuff in Paris’ life. [24/Sizzler. Image: Getty]

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Britney Makes Her Worst Career Move Yet

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britjt082207.jpgIt’s official – Britney is an effing idiot. Page Six is reporting that the washed up pop star was on board to do a duet with her ex-flame, the world’s most famous man Justin Timberlake. JT had written the song especially for Brit and it was all set to be produced by Timbaland when suddenly, right before she was set to leave to record the track, she pullled out and is now refusing to do the song.

Shaving her head may have been a little weird, but this is just insane. Imagine the awesomeness if Brit was to open the VMAs with her ex-boyfriend at her side on-stage! Now people are worried her “comeback” is going to be more embarrassing than the past year of her life. Her actions are doing nothing to stop people from whispering about her mental state, too. A source says, “People like her are sick. It’s like an anorexic who’s sick in the head and needs help. She needs help.” Right. Maybe our expectations our way to high for Brit right now. She doesn’t need help picking comeback songs, she needs help getting dressed in the morning. Parents, don’t let your children become pop stars! [NY Post. Image: Getty]

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Wednesday: Sexy Brad Saves the World; Pregnant Nicole Keeps Getting Prettier

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bradpitt082207.jpgBrad Pitt Lends a Hand Down South
Brad shows off as the most perfect guy ever, lending his name and a hand to home rebuilding project Global Green in New Orleans. [Us Weekly]

Pink’s Hubby Denies Cheating
Pink’s man calls rumors of their breakup “trash.” Kinda like the women he’s been supposedly making out with while his wife’s on tour. [People]

Hayden Panettiere: Jail Bait No More
The adorable Heroes star celebrates her 18th birthday with jokes about her plans to porn and cigarettes legally. We give her a month until her jokes become reality. [TMZ]

Nicole Richie Loses the Bony Look
First it was her belly, then her boobs. Now Nicole’s face is looking full and normal. This baby deserves a gold medal for making mommy hot again. [JustJared]

Amy Winehouse: Shows a No Go
Amy may or or may not be in rehab, but at least she’s canceling the next month of shows to focus on her health. Or at least have time for a realllly long drug binge. [Us Weekly]

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