Every week we round up selections from the funniest and most brutal film criticism out there so that you don’t waste your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: Some say The Kingdom is a taut political thriller, filled with explosions, intrigue and moral teachings about invading foreign1 soil. Others think it’s a dangerously stupid way to stoke racist blood lust. Enjoy your explode-y racism, movie-goers!
“The King-dumb: Hollywood provides the Islamic world another reason to hate America with The Kingdom, a xenophobic, overblown, revenge-driven action thriller that exports the ‘Rambo’ mentality to the contemporary Middle East.” – The New York Post
“The picture begins with a heinous terrorist attack on an American compound in Saudi Arabia. You want loaded, this picture’s got loaded: The bad guys mow down/blow up a softball game, for heaven’s sake. ‘Crack’ FBI-op Ronald Fleury (Jamie Foxx) is addressing his young son’s classroom when the call comes in. No My Pet Goat moment for this man of action — he politely excuses himself and assembles a ‘crack’ investigative team including bomb expert Chris Cooper and forensics whiz Jennifer Garner. What Jason Bateman brings to the team, as far as I could tell, is a mint-condition vintage Pixies T-shirt. His character’s also Jewish, which, along with Garner’s character’s disinclination to wear a burka, gives the movie some not particularly fresh cultural-conflict juice.” – Premiere
Are you sick of Chris Crocker yet? Yeah, we are too. But still, this remix of his “Leave Britney Alone” monstrosity is worth watching, if only because his shrieks sound a lot better when they’re making him – and Britney – look like an even bigger loser. Amazingly, this guy now has a TV show in the works. Would you ever watch a half hour of this nonsense? We’d rather be stuck with a Kid Nation marathon than watch this guy’s insanity for 30 seconds. [via Just Jared]
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Earlier this week, we posted about Rock of Love‘s Tiffany appearing in R. Kelly‘s “Rock Star” video. Now we can bring you exclusive shots of Tiff posing with Robert and Kid Rock (see below), as well as her account as a video vixen. Tiff tells us:
“R. Kelly slipped me his digits (3 telephone numbers) with no name. He did it real discrete. I took a pic with him and he hugged me while slipping it in my hand. Away from other people. Something a baller would do. R. Kelly was real nice. He interacted with us. The last scene in the bus, I was a dancer. When he was on the bus he said, ‘Someone is working out.’ Yep, me. He said, ‘You look good. We will have to get together.’ No, I did not say, ‘Don’t threaten me with a good time.’“
There’s no word on what she said to Kid Rock. We can only assume that she did tell him, “Don’t threaten me with a good time.” Well, we can hope so, anyway.
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Usher’s Wife Inspires New Fragrance
The singer’s wife claims to be the inspiration for her man’s new perfume. So it smells mean and bitchy? [NYDN]
Nicole Richie Starts Alcohol Treatment
The pregnant starlet has started her intense, court-ordered alcohol treatment program. Do it for the kid, mom-to-be! [People]
Famous Pals Rally Around Owen
Ben Stiller publicly offers his depressed pal support – and vows to make another lame movie for him to star in when he’s better. [People]
Perfect Angelina Fired From Gig
Clothing line St. John has let Angie go as their model. But we thought she was good at everything? [WWTDD]
Clubbin’ Diddy Cops an Attitude
The hip hop star gave a downtown club’s hostess some major lip when she asked how many people were in his party. Doesn’t she know the answer is “Everybody, baby?” Dummy. [NY Post]
Hit the clip below to find out what Wendy Williams counts as her “biggest trick.” And it is big. This is the kind of thing you’d never be able to pick up by listening to her on the radio — it’s best reserved for the boob tube, as it were.
A new episode of The Wendy Williams Experience premieres Friday at 9:30/8:30c.
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Super fussy director Wes Anderson releases The Darjeeling Limited on Friday; it’s about the quirky voyage three brothers take across India. (Two sidebar comments: One of those brothers is played by Owen Wilson, whose character is possibly coming off a suicide attempt; and also, in case you didn’t know, some of us here at VH1 can’t stand quirk and think it’s ruining America. But quirkily, we digress.) Anderson and the good folks at Apple have dropped Hotel Chevalier, a 13-minute short that works as a prologue to the film. It stars Jason Schwartzman and Natalie Portman as a couple of crazy kids in Paris who talk about sex. Natalie disrobes. Farce ensues. Watch above . . . or go to iTunes and get it for free, quirk-face.
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‘The Darjeeling Limited’ Movie Info
Production Stills: The Darjeeling Limited
At last night’s Us Weekly Hot Hollywood 2007 party, all the adorable young stars were out putting their best-dressed foot forward – everyone except Hills darling Lauren Conrad. The starlet – who recently launched her own fashion line – looked less like an expert designer and more like she landed in a pile of candy corn and glitter. It’s not that we’re on Team Heidi or anything, but we definitely bat for Team Have a Little Style.
Check out Lauren’s get-up and ogle at other stars’ outfits below.
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It’s premiere season, that time of the year when mighty networks struggle to maintain dominance by unleashing iron-clad television shows to do battle in the cage match of your home viewing platform. Tonight alone features so many popular favorites, we’ve been counting aloud the minutes until T-time, even during many of our important VH1 meetings — a practice, which is not, strictly speaking, a very good idea. Anyway . . . tonight’s most anticipated return around here is The Office. In the season four premiere, Michael (Steve Carrell) becomes convinced that his work environment is cursed, and so investigates the religious beliefs of his beleaguered employees. We love The Office. Maybe not enough to report out how corporate America is watching the NBC cash cow for tips on being a good boss, but then again, we are nothing if not lazy, fair-weather friends. Hey, at least we admit it. Check back tomorrow for our recap of tonight’s premiere. Elsewise, we’re looking forward to shows that are comedic, dramatic, dramedic and reality-ish-based. Highlights below:
- 30 Rock is Saturday Night Live only missing the bad parts. Writer-actor-stunner Tina Fey might be the most talented person in television. And on the premiere (Oct. 4, 8:30 p.m., NBC), she convinced Jerry Seinfeld to guest-star. What. Is. Up. With. Comedians. Today? We can’t wait to find out.
- Sure, there’s Flavor of Love 3, I Love New York 2 and a slew of other shows on the docket, but our forthcoming America’s Most Smartest Model might truly be the sledgehammer that opens the Seventh Seal. It’s an elimination show starring pretty people who are asked brain teasers like, “What year did Christopher Columbus discover North America?” (By the way: If you’re puzzling over who Chris Columbus is but suspect he might have been a member of Kriss Kross, and you prefer a steady diet of cigarettes and nothing, you might want to check back here in case the producers start casting around for a second season.) Watch it — Oct. 7, 9 p.m., VH1.
- On CSI‘s eighth season premiere, Grissom and friends rush to find the victim of a serial killer. As they’ve done before. Many times. When are they going to learn? Las Vegas is safe from serial killers, people! It’s the VMAs Sin City has to worry about!
As Rock of Love draws to a close, we take another look back on the moments that rocked our world. The catfights. The cackling. The urine. The booze (and booze and booze and booze). The aerosol. The ill-advised tattoos. The meth-scratched faces. Yep, it was a special show, indeed.
Our Top 10 Rock of Love Moments Countdown starts after the jump…