Friday: Orlando Freaks, Crashes Porsche

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Anniston and Vaughn: Kissing + Hugging?
He’s so tall and she’s so cute. They had to reconcile sometime. But will their meetings lead to love?

Bloom Becomes Hollyweird Accident Star #4723
Dude leaps from sidewalk into some guy’s car, busts up his own ride later in the evening. It’s all good.

Brit’s CD Label Sues Perez Hilton For Leaks
Evidently it’s not cool to leak tracks from the blogosphere’s number one party girl. If you do this, you will talk to lawyers.

Hot in Here: Al Gore Wins Nobel Prize
If you fight the good fight, you will be recognized – unless you’re running for president and you’re counting on Florida.

What Does Baby Borat Look Like?
No, Sascha Baron Cohen’s kid hasn’t been born yet, but mom sure looks like she’s going to drop him/her any day now.

Justice on Kimmel: Halloween Hits Early

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It wasn’t Live Earth or the Dream Concert, just the Jimmy Kimmel show. But Michael Jackson, Prince, Rod Stewart, Stevie Wonder, and Rick James all united on-stage for a throwback disco ditty that may be junk but sure is juicy. Justice, the French electronica outfit, is officially in the house with its new Daft Punk meets The Go! Team workout tune, “D.A.N.C.E.” And you thought that Gorillaz were the only production team working the cartoon character shtick.

Friday morning query: Will you forward this to a friend over the weekend?

Friday’s Reviews Rage — Elizabeth: The Golden Age

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elizabeth.jpgEvery week we round up selections from the funniest and most brutal film criticism out there so that you don’t waste your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: In Elizabeth: The Golden Age, Cate Blanchett reprises the role that made her a star. This sequel, however, isn’t going to alter her Q rating. But the clothes are pretty, and in a Hollywood on the verge of a writers’ strike, that’s something.

“It seems Elizabeth’s reign wasn’t so much about resolving matters of the heart, maintaining the love of her people, dealing with her scheming cousin Mary Queen of Scots and defeating the Spanish Armada, so much as wearing the right costume for the right event.” — The Washington Post

“An unholy mixture of the banal and the bombastic.” — New York

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The Office: Take a Chance on a Lanch Party

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Memo:
To All Fans of The Office
From: Your Supervising Manager of Office Re-Caps for VH1.com
RE: The Effing Best Moments from Tonight’s Office Episode!!!

Dear Employees:

Below please find my favorite Office highlights of the evening. Kindly respond to this memo with your picks. Failure to reply will result in your termination from Office fan-ship, as well as a cancellation of our pizza order for today’s Lunch Lanch Party.

1. Meredith’s crotch cast looked even better with Jim’s signature on it. But it appeared that he signed the name John Krasinksi on her pelvic armor. Just who the hell is that?

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Stars Wars + Trumpet x 1985 = Genius

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Sometimes you see something on the internet that leaves you speechless in a giggly, horrified way. This is one of those things. Watch this video. Then, watch it again. And again. Stare in awe at the sparkly unitard and silver ballet flats. Cringe at the mid-song robot jig. Marvel at the moment when her instrument becomes a gun as she acts out a “scene” from Star Wars. And most importantly, relax and enjoy the sweet off-key wail of her trumpet and smile, knowing that somewhere Stacey Hedger now has a clan of kids who know how to use YouTube. [via BWE]

Bobby Brown’s Health is His Prerogative

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bobbybrown.jpgPoor Bobby Brown! The former boy bander apparently suffered a mild heart attack yesterday, which his rep said was “attributed to stress and diet.” Oddly enough, Bobby went on the radio that day and denied the whole thing, saying “None of it’s true. I don’t know where the heart attack thing came from – I’m just fine.” Er…okay? Then why are there these pics of Bobby taken in the hospital, where he allegedly filmed a goodbye video to his family? Definitely looks fine to us!

So what could have caused his mysterious, possibly life-threatening ailment? His representative claimed stress and diet, so there must be something going on for Bobby to freak out over. I guess we’ll just have to figure it our on our own. Is it…

  • More sexy pics of Bobbi Kristina popping up all over the internet?
  • Osama Bin Laden coming after him and Whitney again?
  • Superhead revealing more secrets about how she and Bobby didn’t sleep together?
  • That he’s still stressed out about his decision to leave New Edition?

Then again, maybe Bobby’s just been eating too many donuts. [Getty]

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Blog Best-Of: Mary’s Mushroom

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mary_links2.jpg- Mary J. Blige talks about her new album in an online video. More crucially, without saying a word she answers the age-old question: “What happened to Tootie Ramsey’s hair?” [CONCRETELOOP]

- Lindsay Lohan and her new man go out shopping, but keep a distance between themselves. What, he can’t stand her already? Shocker! [Dlisted]

- Elizabeth Taylor is officially a crazy old lady. Finally, she’s found her calling. [CityRag]

- Beyoncé rocks a turban…in public! What is she, Gloria F***ing Swanson? [Crunk + Disorderly]

- Britney Spears‘ vagina is like the antithesis of a Pollack painting: the more you look at it, the less interesting it becomes. [Egotastic!]

Lindsay Gives Her Manager Mom the Boot

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lohans.jpgDear Mom,

You may have read in one of the tabloids that I’m going to fire you as my manager. I want to make sure you know that this is absolutely NOT TRUE! You’re an awesome manager – so what if Herbie Fully Loaded flopped. And that movie where I was the legless stripper didn’t do to well either, but hey, you’re still learning! I think you’re great at managing my career, and I look forward to working with you long after I leave rehab.

That being said, I am laying your ass off – as my mom. Seriously Dina (moving forward, I will be using your first name only) you effing suck at this mothering stuff! I mean – have you seen some of the outfits you let me leave the house in? And who said it was okay for me to date a 24-year old when I was like, 12? YOU! Mom, that was so crazy. So look. I’m done with you. I’m off to go track down Britney Spears’ mom and see if she wants a daughter who is actually successful. See you at the office.

Your client,

Lindsay M. Lohan

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Laff + Learn: “Pop Up Video” Returns

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How many famous “Feists” are there? Which breed of dogs are “yappy”? What are some “hopes” that all teenagers share? Can you define the term “Jazz Hands”? You can’t answer any of these questions? C’mon, you need to put some Pop on your celly.

A decade ago VH1′s Pop-Up Video franchise wooed millions with its blend of cool music clips and odd-logic factoids. Now its back, designed to deliver info tidbits while you enjoy one of your fave artists. Feist‘s “1234,” Gwen‘s “Hollaback Girl,” Fall Out Boy‘s “Thnks fr th Mmrs” – there are plenty to choose from. The Beastie Boys will hip you to the philosophy of John Locke and Jay-Z will tell you about the loot made by lady pimps. Pop Up Video To Go – make your phone a bit more fun.

Usher to Album Release Date: Meh!

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Usher‘s next album, the follow-up to his gazillion-selling 2004 disc Confessions, was set to drop later this year (you know, when every other artist in the history of recorded sound is set to release their new album in an attempt to cash in on the holiday-buying frenzy). However, word is that it’s been delayed till 2008. The official unofficial story is that Usher’s pregnant wife, Tameka Foster, has him whipped — she’s demanding that he cater to her and their coming child (due later this year) before he devotes himself to the necessary promotion of his album.

That a tidy tale that serves to further vilify Tameka (she’s already hated by fans), but what if the problem lies not in Tameka’s demands, but in Usher’s producer Jermaine Dupri?

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