Matthew’s Gonna Be a Cool Dad

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matthew011608.jpgHey future little duder or dudette, or whatever kind of creature you may be,

This is your dad Matthew McConaughey writing to you. Actor Matthew McConaughey. That’s right, I’m your pops. Don’t freak. I know Sahara will probably be like, your fave flick, but seriously, it’s not that big of a deal. What is a big deal is that you’re my kid and I love you. You were made out of love. Hot, sweaty, sandy love, with a little bit of ocean water and seaweed mixed in. Or you were created on the pull-out bed in my totally rad trailer. We can’t really remember, cuz it was one of those nights were I was hosting the full moon drum circle and stuff got a little nuts. But what matters is that we love you, dude, and I want to make sure you know one very important thing: your mom is smokin’ hot. So hot it hurts. I just wanted to bring that up. Anyway, I can’t wait to get to know you and stuff. I can’t believe I’ve actually made something good!

Peace out little guy,

Dad

PS – Please don’t go see Fool’s Gold.

John Mayer to Texas: Don’t Mess with Jess

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jess-john.jpgIs it possible that John Mayer is actually not just a cool guy, but an even cooler ex-boyfriend? The cocky rocker posted a Jessica Simpson-defending manifesto on his blog, after the entire state of Texas and every member of Cowboy-nation blamed her for their team’s recent football failures (funny how no one actually blames the stupid dude who lost the game). The only problem with John’s sweet words is that they’re probably gonna make Jess (and her dad) fall back in love with John all over again. Now that would really punish Tony Romo for ruining the lives of millions of Texans. John blogged:

Dear Dallas and Surrounding Areas,

This isn’t a sports blog, and it isn’t a publicity stunt. (but have at me if it feels right.) This is about doing what I think is right as a person, in this case speaking my mind. I have never known anyone to have more pride in their home state and their upbringing in it than Jessica Simpson has in Texas. I don’t really follow sports, but I have played some of my biggest and best concerts in your state, and having witnessed how dynamic the spirit there is, I’m betting emotions are running high right about now. All witty barbs, blogs, and fashion policing aside, that girl loves Texas more than you know. It’s one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don’t try and take that away from her. (You probably wouldn’t be able to, but it’s less work for all involved.)

I just thought it would mean something coming from the guy who has the absolute least to gain from this. And if I’m out of line in having written it, too bad. I can spare a Wednesday’s worth of bad press if it means sticking up for a good soul.

Wednesday: Zac’s a Hospitalized Hottie

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zacefron011608.jpgActor Brad Renfro Found Dead
The 25-year old had a history of drug and alcohol abuse in the past. Sad face. [People]

Zac Efron’s Adorable Appendix Removed
Don’t worry, legions of screaming girls, he’s gonna be fine and his scar’s gonna be sexy. [People]

Britney Caught Boning in Dressing Room
Brit made noises, walked around naked and bruoght her boyfriend in a store dressing room. But the best part is this eye-witness report: “”Her face was covered with cold sores and acne, and her scalp was patchy.” Ewwww! [NYP]

Gwyneth Hospitalized with Pregnancy Scare?
He recent trip to the emergency room might have been baby-related. Let’s hope Gwynnie and the future Orangeblossom Soupcan Paltrow-Martin are okay. [NYDN]

America Says No to Winehouse Visa
She’s trying to get to the Grammys, but the US won’t hand over the visa she needs to enter. Maybe the drugs were a bad idea afterall! [NYDN]

Meet Our New Australian Boyfriend

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Here he is in all his nipple-ringed glory. Meet Down Under hotness Corey Delaney, who got in a little bit of trouble after a house party he threw while his parents were out of town exploded into a debauched, 500-person booze-fest, complete with appearances by the police force and Australia’s own “Dog Squad.” But you know what, he just doesn’t give a sh*t. Because he is the man, the second coming of Spicoli with way cooler glasses – glasses that have made him famous, glasses that he refuses take off. 16-year old rebellion has never been sexier, seriously. Corey’s now on the run, chilling with friends and wheeling and dealing with managers and other D List-loving bigwigs who want to give him money. We. Are. Swooning.

Our one complaint is that buzzkill news anchor who won’t shut up about him apologizing. Doesn’t she remember when she was 15 and running around like a lunatic after chugging wine coolers behind the bushes in a friend’s yard as the cops pulled up in front of the house? Come on! Adults are like, so LAME. Right mates?

Blog Best-Of: Carrie’s Canine

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carrie_links.jpg- Carrie Underwood reveals that the love of her life is a dog. Aquanet, you’ve been replaced! [CityRag]

- Before going on trial, Wesley Snipes met with pastors in a makeshift vigil. Money: it’s something to pray about. [Crunk & Disorderly]

- A gorilla takes a shine to Ellen DeGeneres. I’m afraid to break it to him that he’s not her type. [Best Week Ever]

- Djimon Hounsou says that Kimora Lee is “the least high-maintenance lady I’ve ever dated.” That says more about his experience with ladies than Kimora’s character. [CONCRETELOOP]

- K-Fed‘s appearing on One Tree Hill tonight. Make sure to tune in: if not for him, do it for the children! The children! [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

Mandy Lynn Vs. MacBook Air

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Today is World Mac Day, and Apple just announced the release of Air, the World’s Thinnest Lap Top. The latest MacBook reminded us of America’s Most Smartest Model‘s Mandy Lynn, quite possibly the World’s Least Smartest Model, and according to COED Magazine, a Mac user. Turns out there’s quite a few similarities between the two.

* Both are really skinny.

* Both are filled with expensive plastic parts.

* Both are easy to turn on.

* Both come with an empty hard drive.

Photo Credit: CO-ED Magazine

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America’s Most Smartest Model Show Page

American Idol: Still Got the Juice?

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Tonight’s the night. American Idol heads back into action, bringing the first, pre-Hollywood round of Clarkson and Daughtry wannabes into our rumpus rooms. But there are some questions regarding the current power of the pay-to-vote talent show. Chris Daughtry, whose band was a runner-up in 2006, told Rolling Stone that the brand has lost some luster. “I feel like it’s definitely lacking some credibility at this point. It’s in a state of decline and if they don’t do something about it, it’s probably not gonna last too much longer.”

It’s true that some of its heroes can’t sustain their label relationships due to measly sales, and it’s true that producers are scrambling to come up with new ways of keeping the hordes happy, but we’re thinking that they will be quite a few eyeballs on the screen when the unholy trio of Simon, Paula, and Dawg Randy start bantering with Seacrest this evening.

Me, I want to see this season’s crew play their own instruments and warble (or beat-box) at the same time.

What do you think? Is this year’s Idol going to compare to previous models? Come back tomorrow for our recap of tonight’s fracas, which features the Philly auditions.

Def Lep To Pour Some Sugar Onstage

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That’s right. Def Leppard — the ’80s hair metallers that rocked arenas around the world — are back with a brand new album, and they’re coming to a city near you. With their latest album Songs From The Sparkle Lounge due out in March, the mighty Lep are hitting the road with fellow rock staples REO Speedwagon and Styx. Can’t wait to see them? Check out VH1 Classic for all your Def Leppard needs.

Zac Efron Loves Leo, But He’s Not Gay

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That hair. Those eyes. Those fake eyelashes. What’s not to love about Zac Efron, right tweens? The heartthrob of High School Musical is now speaking out about all those rumors about his sexuality, and he while he doesn’t clear anything up, he does come across as kind of smart. “I know it’s very addictive to read that kind of stuff. It’s entertainment. Honestly, if the worst he can say about me is that I’m gay, then I think I’ll be fine. I can handle it.” He adds, “These days everyone is just waiting for me to f*ck up. I’m not gonna give anyone the satisfaction of that.”

You mean like referencing Leonardo DiCaprio when pressed to come up with your first celebrity crush? We didn’t have to wait that long, Zac! Check out the video below to see what other classy guys Zac admires. [Us, MollyGood]

All Day Long: The Shot Marathon

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It was a short but sweet season on The Shot, where 10 up-and-coming photographers were pitted against each other, competing for photographic excellence and the attention of Russell James, the show’s host and renowned lensman in his own right. There were absurd contests (shooting animals and children), messy ones (including a food fight) and celebrity guest stars (hiya, Joss Stone!). We’ve rounded up all our recaps here, so you can check to see what you missed. The marathon airs through 8 p.m. tonight. Enjoy, you aspiring artisans. Recaps: Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7. Check the finale recap after the jump.

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