Britney Wants to See Your Moves

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The pop tard is looking for a few brave souls to strut their stuff in her latest music video. Britney will be holding auditions for the gig this afternoon in Los Angeles and anyone can show up – it’s an open call! Maybe she’s secretly on the hunt for a new husband? If you’re comfortable wearing wigs and pleather while riding stripper poles, head on down today! You may get lucky and end up beside Brit in her next video – if you consider that sort of thing a positive. If your skills are lacking, just bring her some Taco Bell or a Frappucino, you’ll be grinding on camera in no time. [TMZ]

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Kristen Wiig Is the New Will Ferrell. Period.

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We’ve been watching Saturday Night Live funnywoman Kristen Wiig for a while, and let’s just say, we’re impressed. This past weekend she mocked inscrutable Icelandic elf Bjork (opposite Kenan Thompson as Charles Barkley) on a spoof of IFC’s Iconoclasts. The two get together at a Cheesecake Factory, where Bjork tells Barkley that in her dreams her “fingers are made of butter” and asks him if he’d like to hold her “invisible baby.” Years ago, former SNL cast member and then head writer Tina Fey said that her period of the show would always be known as the Ferrell era. Although early signs pointed to the current era belonging to Andy Samberg, we’d actually argue that Kristen Wiig has it locked. Between her tiny turn in Knocked Up, her various characters on the show, and the fact that we haven’t seen The Brothers Solomon, Wiig is the funniest funnylady to come along in a long, long time. We dare you to name someone funnier.

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Mom Kardashian’s Rack Job

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KrisPlease mom, don’t show off the twins when I’m trying to impress America with my ass.

The Kardashian sisters were chatting it up with Chelsea Handler last Friday, when the lead sibling, who’s got a little Playboy action going in time to juice ratings for their new show, explained some intra-family tensions. Seems they were meeting with Hugh Heffner and mother K, aka Kris Jennings, was rocking a top that was all about the cleavage.

“She was wearing the most boob thing I’ve never seen in my life,” said Kim, “and I’m like ‘Mom, you want Hef to ask you to to do Playboy – that’s what this whole thing is about. She sitting there saying that it’s her dream to do Playboy and I”m like wait a minute, doesn’t Hef want to meet me?”

Of course he does, honey – mom’s just gotta get a little Hollywood business done.

What did you think of last night’s premiere of Keeping Up the Kardashians? Will you ever watch again?

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Lindsay Lohan Will Wash Cars for Cash

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lindsay1015.jpgLittle LiLo has apparently squandered all her hard-earned (yeah, right) cash on crap like hotel rooms to do drugs in, fancy pants with drug-laced pockets, rehab to fix her drug problems, lawyers to handle her many DUI charges, and of course, drugs. Rehab alone apparently has cost the actress over $137, 000 – after all, she’s been in and out three times this year. Linds has had to sell her apartments in the Big Apple and Los Angeles in order to put some cash in her pocket, and is shacking up at a producer pal’s house in LA while shooting her latest flick this month because she can’t even afford a stint at a Super 8 Motel. So if acting isn’t a lucrative enough gig to support the $70,000 she likes to spend on tanning, we’ve thought of some other odd jobs Lindsay can do to get that savings account up past the zero mark.

  • Walk Paris Hilton‘s dogs and clean out her monkey’s cage
  • Become Britney’s next assistant
  • Serve as Owen Wilson‘s sober companion
  • Babysit Nicole Richie‘s new baby – or her sunglasses collection
  • Have a bake sale – Linds can sell those pot brownies she surely knows how to make
  • Serve as Al Gore‘s campaign manager if he runs for president – after all, aren’t they like BFF?

[Getty]

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Two Turntables & An Arsenal

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Tell us again why private citizens – even those with good/evil artistic personality splits – need automatic weapons? By now you know that T.I. had to skip the BET Awards show on Saturday because he was answering questions from the ATF in ATL regarding his purchase of machine guns and silencers. He’s looking at federal charges, and he’s looking at a lot more than a slap on the wrist, jail-wise.

What are you thoughts on our man and his gun fetish? Should he wind up behind bars?

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Monday: Jessica’s Million Dollar Zits

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jess1015.jpgLindsay Ditches Hollywood for Utah
The starlet is apparently moving to Utah full-time to escape the LA grind. Let’s hope Paris and Britney follow suit. [People]

Jessica Simpson Gets Rich Off of Acne
The “actress” is reportedly set to make $3 million from her endorsement deal with ProActive skin care. Proof that she should skip acting and stick to what she knows — zits? [NYP]

Rihanna’s Latest Celebrity Crush
RiRi sets herself up to become to new “it” girl (or Britney Spears junior) and hooks up with man whore Josh Hartnett, 10 years her senior. [Us]

Amy Winehouse Back on Stage

The booze-loving prodigy is set to sing at the Woodie Awards next month in NYC. Lock up your liquor stores, Big Apple! [NYDN]

Ashlee: Binging on Botox?
Jessica’s little sis denies using botox on her beat face, but her wrinkle-free mug seems to say otherwise. Maybe she’s just been borrowing her sister’s Proactive? [Us]

Things You Should Know About Kim

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Bootylicious!
If you took the premise of the The Brady Brunch, gave it The Simple Life treatment and added a dash of My Super Sweet Sixteen, you might be adequately prepared for Keeping Up With the Kardashians. You already know Kim Kardashian from her starring role as Paris Hilton’s right-hand party girl (and from a certain intimate encounter that hit shelves this year) but E! is introducing the rest of the K-loving Kardashian clan this Sunday, October 14th at 10:30 p.m. Kim’s mom Kris, her sisters Khloe and Kourtney, and her half-siblings Kendall and Kylie all star in this look at the family’s life and times in sunny L.A.

In advance of the show, we did a little homework on the buxom-bootied star, and here’s what we came up with.
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Meanwhile, Across Town, Samantha Was Hosing Down A Different Sort of Fire

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As you’ve probably heard by now, Sex and the City is in the process of becoming a major motion picture. If you believe what you read in Blogville, the movie, which is being shot right now (OMG!), has brought New York City to a stand-still. Sadly, this is not true, as your loyal reporters here have yet to have even one sighting of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, Samantha or Big. But rest assured, the film’s happening. It’s going to be released May 30th, 2008, and plot lines may or may not revolve around pregnancy (Charlotte), marriage (Carrie and Big) and promiscuity (just try to guess). If you can’t wait that long — and the suits at the networks are betting you can’t — then you’re going to love Cashmere Mafia, a new ABC show that debuts in September. Here’s the teaser paragraph from that show’s press release:

Read more…

Snoop Dogg: Gin, Juice, and Lysol

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snoopbust.jpgMurder wasn’t the case, just carrying a deadly weapon. But the penance has been assigned. Snoop Dogg, one of our heroes in this year’s Hip Hop Honors, will be removing trash and scrubbing toilets on an Orange County clean-up crew. About a year ago, the rap star was busted at an L.A. airport – he had a collapsible baton in his belongings. He plead guilty, and is now about to serve 160 hours of community service. He’s also kicking $10K to the local charity, Right Trak.