Brit’s Too Busy (Doing Nothing) For Court


britneyspearscustody0114.jpgIt’s currently 3:30 PM here on the east coast (that’s 12:30 PM for you left coasters) and Britney Spears has to yet show up for her court date, which was scheduled to start today at 9:30 AM PST. Surely Sean and Jayden aren’t that surprised. Those kids know how to say only two things: “mama” and “no show.” But their hero of a daddy, complete with his new mohawk hairdo straight from 2002, arrived at court 30 minutes early at 9 AM, looking all dapper in a suit. Rumors has it that Britney will make an appearance at 1PM, but word on the virtual street is that the singer has yet to leave her house for her court appearance. And seeing as we regular folk know that the custody of her kids is on the line here, even she’s gotta understand the importance of today’s hearing.

Brit was out all weekend with her boyrazzi and even screamed and swore at the photogs stalking her in a British accent outside of a Macy’s department store. Just last night the pair hit up a CVS at 1am, only 8 hours before she was supposed to be at court. We highly doubt that her absence (or at best, a very late appearance) signals that she doesn’t love her kids. Britney doesn’t like being told what to do – and it’s obvious that she considers her right to be the boss of the world more important than the custody of her children. And honestly, isn’t that a good thing for Sean, Jayden, and their future therapy bills?

Update, 3:53 PM: Britney’s left her house!

Jenna Jameson Shuts Her Legs For Good


Or so she says! Jenna – in all her crispy tanned glory – took the stage at this weekend’s AVN Awards (honoring the major players in the adult video world) to present the Jenna Jameson Crossover Award, and instead rambled on and on about herself (watch it all in the vid above). She lectures the new girls on the old days, gushes about how she “paved the way” for porn’s new mainstream appeal and continues to talk about her recent stint as tabloid fodder thanks to her divorce, boob drama and lack of body fat. But her biggest announcement of all came when she said: I will never ever ever spread my legs again in this industry. Ever.”

But don’t freak, Jenna junkies! She’s just not spreading her legs anymore. She didn’t mention any other orifices – so maybe she’s just retired her legs and is gonna let the rest of her body do the work. Also, hasn’t she quit porn like, a gajillion other times? We’re sure this was just the tequila talking. She probably doesn’t even remember her retirement. [DListed]

Check out some of the other amazingly named adult celebs who hit up the AVN Awards in Vegas. We spotted Mary Carey, of Celebrity Rehab fame, on the red carpet!

From left to right: Jenna Jameson, Mary Carey, Daisy Marie, Savanna Samson, Roxy Jezel, Lela Star, Flower Tucci, Jenna Haze, Brian Pumper, Taylor Wane, Shy Love, Teagan Presley, Rhyse & Riley Richards, Brianna Love, Camilla Bing, Summer Cummings, Lanny Barby, Jade Jolie, Sunny Lane, Dave Navarro, Sunset Thomas.

Baseball’s Steroid Scandal Spills Into Rap


50cent.jpgSteroids are celebrity poison. After a protracted investigation last year into performance-enhancing drugs’ presence in Major League Baseball, and Marion Jones‘ confession last fall that she had a little help from some pharmaceutical friends, authorities are looking at the world of rap and R&B. A new report alleges steroid use by several entertainers, including 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean and Tyler Perry. (Blige’s spokesperson denies the accusation; Perry’s representation refused to comment.) What, if anything, this has to do with the price of tea in China is unclear: Officials say that none of the celebrities have broken the law, and that for now, they’re focusing on the doctors who are prescribing the drugs, not the already beleaguered music industry. Besides, unless we’ve been misled, ‘roids don’t help you rap. And if this story’s true, they apparently don’t help you win a fake record-selling battle with Kanye West trumped up for press on September 11th, either. Here are some sweet portraits of the artists in their buff mode.

In other, sort of related news: NBC has been randomly testing the cast members of the network’s hit show American Gladiators in an effort to avoid just this sort of thing. In made-up, totally fake news: the WWE saw the story in this morning’s New York Post, went home and Soloflexed the tears away shortly before putting its fingers in its ears and throwing out its television set.

Nirvana Biopic News: Courtney Love’s Casting Call


scarlett.jpgThe rumor’s out that alt-rock lightning rod/David LaChapelle muse Courtney Love has begun casting for a 2009 film based on Heavier Than Heaven, a biography of her husband, Mr. Pisces Iscariot himself, Kurt Cobain. According to reports, Love has asked Woody Allen mainstay Scarlett Johansson to play herself. She’s also reportedly lined up Ryan Gosling to play Cobain. No word on whether or not she’s asked Keanu Reeves to play Krist Novoselic, Animal from the Muppets to play Dave Grohl, Will Ferrell to play Mark Lanegan, Anthony Bourdain to play Chris Cornell, Adam Duritz to play Buzz Osbourne, Karen O to play Kathleen Hanna, Kathleen Hanna to play Kat Bjelland, or Thurston Moore to play Eric Erlandson, but stay tuned and we’ll let you know as soon as the news breaks.

Is Hillary Barack’s “B*tch”?



Obama was rocking in Iowa, and was expected to trounce the competition in New Hampshire. Then out of the blue, Hillary shed a tear or two and pulled out a victory, making the Democratic presidential primaries a bit more interesting. She’s always been a threat. So it’s little wonder team Obama was blasting Jay-Z‘s “99 Problems” (with the famed line “I got 99 problems/but a bitch ain’t one”) at a rally back at the start of the month. That sounds kinda harsh, right? So it makes sense Obama’s camp said the boss didn’t know about the song choice. We’ll let him slide on this one. Barack did cop to digging “Crazy in Love” and Eminem, though – good stuff for dancing.What rap track would be right for Hillary to respond with?

No One Wants to See McPhee Marry


katharine_mcpheeNot only do folks not want to listen to Katharine McPhee, they also don’t want to look at her. The American Idol star (who was dropped from her record label last week) is shopping around shots of her February nuptials to boyfriend Nick Cokas, but apparently no one wants them. After offering the pics to People, OK! and InTouch, a source says that UsWeekly might be interested, but for far less than the $60,000 asking price.

The practice of selling shots from star-studded weddings has become commonplace, with guests banned from taking shots so exclusives can be given to tabloid magazines. McPhee’s $60,000 fee pales in comparison to the $2 million Britney received when she married K-Fed, the $3 million Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher received, and even Xtina‘s paltry half mil sum.

Rock of Love 2 Recap – Episode 1 – Blondes Have More…Work To Do


Very early in this first episode of Rock of Love 2 with Bret Michaels, Big John lays down the formula for the show. Everything you need for a great season is in the following steps:

1. Bring the noise.


2. Bring the barrel full of Bret’s Brew.


(No, really. It’s called Bret’s Brew.)


3. Bring the mess.


4. Bring the swing.


Lather, rinse, repeat. Hold the lather, actually. Soap has no place in this house.

Read more…

Celebrity Babies Redeem Their Mommies



Congrats to Nicole Richie and Christina Aguilera! They both were busy on Friday poppin’ out babies at the same time ( and at the same hospital). Nicole and her boyfriend Joel Madden welcomed a baby girl named Harlow Winter Kate Madden, while Xtina gave birth a couple of hours later to new son Max Liron Bratman. It’s probably too soon – and too creepy – to suggest that these two tots should totally date someday, right? Anyway, everyone (admittedly, ourselves included) is so mushy and gushy over the starlets’ new journey into motherhood that we’ve almost forgotten the moments that got them here. You know the assless chaps, the hair extensions, the trashy make up and boob flashing. But rest assured, we haven’t! So Harlow Winter Kate and Max, when that angsty moment comes around your thirteenth birthday, and you feel the urge to lash out against your super cool Hollywood mom, this post will be there for you, preserved somewhere in the archives of the web. Print out these pics (see below), hang them around your mansion and enjoy the drama that follows. You can thank us by not ever needing to go to rehab.

[Images: Getty]

Monday: Kim Kardashian Kicks Butt


kim-kardashian.jpgBjork Beats Down Photog
The singer tore off a pap’s shirt after he snapped her pic down under. That seems more sexy than threatening. [TMZ]

Britney: Shops in her Wedding Dress
Honestly, do expect anything less than Britney shopping for Mercedes with her boyrazzi in the wedding dress she wore when marrying K-Fed? Crazy is as crazy does. [People]

Kim Kardashian Defends her Man
While clubbing in LA, Kim kicked out the dude who apparently bribed her NFL star boyfriend with money while he was in college. Dashie don’t play that. [NYDN]

The Golden Globes Happened – Did You Notice?
Atonement wins for best pic, and everyone goes home bored. [EOnline]

Eva’s Got Jessica Simpson’s Back
The actress stands up for her pal after fans start blaming the Cowboys’ playoff loss on Jessica. We like to blame Jess for everything – global warming is totally her fault! [People]