Tuesday: Halle Berry’s Bad Joke

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halle1023.jpgCheck out Brit’s New Big Lips
What’s shocking about these pics is not the size of Britney’s newly enhanced lips, but rather how rough her face is looking these days. Ease up on those fake tans, girl. [Us]

Halle Berry Sorry for Rude Remark
A remorseful Halle Berry apologizes for a ‘Jewish joke’ gone wrong on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. [NYP]

J Lo’s Stingy Reputation
Lopez is refusing to pay the bills she racked up providing cars for peeps like her sister while shooting her last flick. Maybe she’s confused – it’s love that don’t cost a thing, not limos. [NYP]

Reese and Jake Kiss – OMG!!!
It’s only taken these two like, a hundred years to finally show some real PDA – and it’s not even scandalous! We won’t see the sex tape until 2065. [Us]

Tom Cruise Shows Fans Crazy Love
Little Tommy worked the red carpet and schmoozed with fans for two and a half hours at his new film’s premiere. Even the crazy celebs gotta work hard for their money. [Socialite's Life]

Paris Hilton And Her Frozen Dogs

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paris1022.jpgParis Hilton is bringing new meaning to the term ‘frigid bitch’ (which you know, she isn’t – she’s more of a hot ho) with her latest plan to freeze herself and her dogs at the Cryonics Institute so that they can be brought back to life after they die. Or as Paris tells it, “It’s so cool. Almost all the cells in the body are still alive when death is pronounced. And if you’re immediately cooled, you can be perfectly preserved. My life could be extended by hundreds and thousands of years.”

Yes, what you’re thinking is correct. It doesn’t matter if we cure poverty, hunger, terrorism and disease. The biggest threat to humanity is attempting to infest out planet for “hundreds and thousands of years!” Shouldn’t we just give up now? Armageddon is coming and it’s in size 10 stilettos and bad makeup. [DListed. Getty]

Spice Wars: Is The Reunion Turning Ugly?

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spice_girls

The beloved Spice Girls have stopped having Eddie Murphy‘s babies, dancing with stars and cheering on benched soccer-playing husbands long enough to put together a reunion, but it might not be all sugar and….uh, spice. While filming a video for one of two brand new tracks they’re releasing, things in Spice World got tense. “The girls were so tired and Emma was crying as the shoot just went on and on. Geri kept slowing things down by meditating and doing strange spiritual stuff,” a source told UK paper The Sun. In addition, Posh allegedly requested an assistant follow her around the video set with fruit and champagne, which seems like the least likely claim, given that we don’t think she ingests anything.

The Girls had their own spin on the video shoot for “Headlines (Friendship Never Ends),” with Posh telling their website she was just happy to see her fellow bandmates: “What’s really wonderful is just being able to hang out with the girls like this again.” In a terribly classy marketing move, their Greatest Hits album will be available exclusively at Victoria’s Secrets in the United States.

Britney’s Best Day Ever!

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britneyspears1022.jpgPhew ya’ll! Britney’s visitation with her kids has been restored, and the rotten-toothed threesome was spotted on Saturday tooting around Studio City in mommy’s Mercedes with her parenting counselor in the passenger seat (and a giant Starbucks in her hand). This alone begs the question – does Britney know how to do anything with those kids BUT drive them around in her car? Doesn’t she have a swing set she can strap them too? The singer’s super day didn’t start until after the kiddies left her mansion the following morning, when she was finally able to live the life that only exists for us regular folks in dreams. While most of America was doing laundry and scrubbing stains out of their carpets yesterday, Britney was ingesting various sweet things and cooking herself in a tanning bed. Her day kind of makes you realize that screwed-up millionaires really do have it better, even if their bodies are just vessels packed with wrinkled skin and sugar. Lots and lots of sugar.

britneysched.jpg

50 Cent Gets Illmatic: “Nas Sucks”

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NasLots of controversy still swirling around the title of Nas‘ forthcoming disc, Nigger. Some people, like Common, support the decision. “Nas is always bringing something new, something to talk about,” he recently told MTV News. Common cited previous agitprop artists like Gil Scott-Heron as forerunners to such political maneuvers. But 50 Cent weighed in with a comparatively blunt opinion. “Nas sucks,” he blasted. “That’s a stupid name…it’s for shock value.”

The CD comes out on 12/11. Have you absorbed its impact yet? What do you think about Nas’ title?

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Jermaine Dupri Takes on Timberlake

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jdjt.jpgJermaine Dupri is releasing an autobiography (why?) about his life, natch, entitled “Young, Rich and Dangerous.” Inside the pages he takes a little dig at America’s favorite pelvic-gyrating pop star Justin Timberlake, writing “I think Justin Timberlake is a talented performer. But he’s very ordinary-looking. He could be any skinny white kid from the suburbs of Orlando. You could go to the mall and find another Justin. He doesn’t make his style interesting even when he’s onstage. To me, he just doesn’t look like a star.”

Woah there! Does JD really want to start beef with the TimberKing over – of all things - his looks? Last time we check he wasn’t ranking that high on the sexy scale either (and isn’t he like, a lot shorter than Janet?) Sure Dupri was worth $60 million in 2006, but JT’s catching up – according to Forbes his tour alone brought in $41 million for April to August. Maybe Jermaine should put down his pen and head out to some mall in Orlando and find himself the next Justin . [NYP. Images: Getty]

Kid Rock Loves Waffles & Beat Downs

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kidrockmug.jpgAwwwwwww. Doesn’t Kid Rock look adorable in his mugshot? Just some sweet old down home guy, enjoying his Grilled Bacon Texas Cheesesteak Melt Plate at an Atlanta Waffle House with some pals, chatting about football and family. Until - duh duh duhhh - some random waffle hungry dude dared speak to a woman in Kid’s entourage! The chat (which currently sounds fairly innocent) led the singer and his entourage to go all Tommy Lee on the guy, Harlem DeJon Akins, who “suffered minor cuts and bruises after punching and breaking a window at the Waffle House.” It sounds like the glass did all the real dirty work but the cops still arrested Kid Rock anyway and charged him with battery. No word on if he was released yet on bail but we hope it happens soon – his food is probably getting cold. [VH1 News]

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Kim Kardashian’s Big Ass Birthday Bash

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kim-cake.jpgOur favorite friend of famous people, Kim Kardashian, celebrated her birthday last night in La La Land surrounded by a bunch of fellow nobodies, like her sisters, Brittny Gastineau, and that chick who founded the Pussycat Dolls. Kim recently said, “Everyone thinks that I am this wild party girl and that I get drunk and dance on tables, but I don’t even drink alcohol.” Kim may not be boozing in the pics below, but she certainly looks wild. Her eyelashes alone are a jungle!

Check out the photos of the soirée (held at Hollywood hot spot Les Deux) and let us know your guess as to how old Kim turned yesterday – from the looks of it she could be celebrating 21 – or 41.

[All images: Getty]

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About Last Night: Ultra Fresh Party Pics

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Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. About Last Night puts you in touch with all the action.

Megan Fox, Paris Hilton, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Rosario Dawson, and the Heroes cast were among the many celebrities at Spike TV’s “Scream 2007.”

Kim Kardashian rang in her birthday at Les Deux in Hollywood with her family and friends Brittny Gastineau and Aubrey O’Day (of Making the Band).

Reese Witherspoon, Jake Gyllenhaal, Cate Blanchett, Jonathan Rhys Meyers (channeling Tom Cruise), and Monica Belucci were spotted arriving to various premieres at the 2nd Rome Film Festival.