Britney’s Worst Year Ever: December


Britney_SpearsNo one could have imagined a mere 12 months ago that Brit would create such glorious new nonsense every week. Some of the craziness escapes you? Here’s our recount.

December 1Even Celebrities Drunk Dial – Britney hits the Scandinavian Mansion of Style [Ed: WTF?] to celebrate her 26th birthday with her two remaining friends, cousin/enabler Ali Sims and creepy new hanger-on Sam Lufti. Shortly after Paris Hilton joins the crew, she lends Britney her cell phone so she can call ex-husband Kevin Federline. Brit pleads with K-Fed to join them, but someone has to stay home and watch the kids. Britney becomes infuriated, and reportedly hangs up on him. [NY Post]

December 5Shady Associates – Brit pal and constant companion Sam Lufti apparently has quite the shady past. With two restraining orders and no discernible career (Lufti had claimed to be a film producer), Brit’s family fears for the singer’s safety. One source blabbed to UsWeekly: “She’s so desperate for a friend.” [Us Weekly]

December 12Calling In Sick to Court – Ten minutes after a scheduled deposition began, Spears called and informed her representation that she was ill and unable to attend. Later that day, Brit’s creepy consort Sam Lufti called E! and told them that due to the media frenzy, Brit’s anxiety “sky rocketed,” and she was unable to pull it together and face the same paparazzi and reporters she’s been courting for almost a decade. [Us Weekly]

December 19Crazy Runs In The Family – In an impressive show of sisterly love, 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn steps up and takes some of the media pressure off her sister by announcing her own pregnancy on the cover of OK! Magazine. While her parents were shocked and appalled, and the younger Spears confesses to being “scared,” she’s decided to keep the baby. When questioned by TMZ, Britney initially had no idea her sister was in a family way. [OK! Magazine]

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I Love New York 2 Reunion: Sneak Preview!



We don’t want to give too much away, but there are 12 things you should know about the I Love New York 2 reunion, which premieres Sunday, Jan. 6 at 9/8c. They are:

1. It’ll take up more airtime than any other reunion in the Flavor of Love universe: it runs for 90 minutes and it’s packed with ridiculousness. There’s no way it could have been shorter — it could very well turn out to be an instant classic.

2. An unlikely character engages in a full-on, tongues-out kiss with another person on the show. You might say that this is a new frontier of sexuality.

3. There is a food fight.

4. We’re introduced to one of the guy’s vast cologne collection.

5. A penis is exposed.

6. So is a butt.

7. Tailor Made gives New York the ultimate present (and it’s not what you think)!


8. New York tells a guy who isn’t Tailor Made: “Yes, I had real feelings for you…And you know I did, and I know that you know I did.”

9. “You can have ‘em in your house, I mean that’s your choice…” says Sister Patterson about a particular minority group. She is, as usual, the picture of tolerance.

10. Although, to be fair, she also describes herself as “not human.” A new frontier in self-awareness?

11. An argument breaks out when one barely seen guy calls out to someone on stage: “Don’t stand up for another man. That makes you look fruity.”

12. There will be blood.



Oh yes, there will be blood.

Remember: the I Love New York 2 Reunion airs Sunday, Jan. 6 at 9/8c. If you miss it, your life will be rendered meaningless.

The Celebreality Awards Pt. 1 – The Achievements


To recap VH1′s year in Celebreality programming, we’re honoring the craziness (and, let’s face it: crazies) with an informal (and fairly arbitrary) set of awards we’re giving away online. Actually, there are no real awards to give away, but hey, it’s the thought that counts. It is, after all, the holiday season.

Part 1 kicks off today. Below, we look back at the special achievements reached on shows like Charm School, Rock of Love, Ego Trip’s The White Rapper Show, Celebrity Fit Club: Men vs. Women and Gotti’s Way. Our first award is the Achievement in Beauty, Nails Division, which goes to…


…Sister Patterson! I mean, duh, right?

Read more…

2007 Celeb Crazy Talk: Dog, LiLo & Brit



Famous people say the darnedest things, and this year was no exception! We’re honoring the craziest sh*t to come out of their restylane-enhanced mouths this year, and bringing you our fifteen favorite celebrity quotes of 2007.

  • “Eat it, lick it, snort it, fuck it!” - Britney Jean Spears, snapping at reporters at her custody hearing.
  • I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps…” - Miss Teen South Carolina, answering the greatest pageant question of all time.
  • “I was really up for some peace and love that morning. I wasn’t up for being called a c*** and being kicked in the head.” - Druggie rocker Pete Doherty after getting dumped by model girlfriend Kate Moss.
  • “I wasn’t driving, the black kid was.” - Lindsay Lohan, after getting pulled over for her coke-fueled, road ragin’ car chase.
  • “There’s a special connection that I thought I had between me and black America. And I used to say, ‘I’m black, too.’ In other words, my whole life I’ve been called a half-breed, a convict, king of the trailer trash, this and that…so when I stood there and said, ‘I kind of know what you feel like, because I’ve been there, too,’ that I felt that I could embrace and like, as brothers…say the word. I now learned I’m not black at all, and I never did it out of hate.” - Dog the Bounty Hunter, defending his use of the ‘N Word’ in a leaked rant.’s Worst Movies of 2007


We polled, cajoled and otherwise extracted’s most loathed movies of 2007 from our normally sunny staff. Here are the results.


Knocked Up
This should have come with a disclaimer, it required such a suspension of disbelief. In short, stoner-schlub Ben knocks up blonde bombshell Allison during a one-night stand, and over the course of the next nine months cracks jokes, roasts bowls and perpetually disappoints his love interest. Had the film been recognized for its infantilism and sexism rather than its poignancy, it might have been less disturbing. Instead, Knocked Up perpetuated a creepy right-wing agenda, eschewing the issue of abortion altogether (what year is this?) and opting to bind two people (who don’t even seem to like each other very much) together in raising a child. That, coupled with the tangential plotline of Pete and Debbie, Allison’s unhappily married sister and brother-in-law (who make commitment look as pleasant and rewarding as a sexually transmitted disease), made this film work like a PSA for abstinence. (Lauren Harris)


Ghost Rider
Few comic book films have dared to be this bad — The Punisher with Dolph Lundgren comes to mind, as does Captain America, which starred no one you’ve ever heard of. Ghost Rider, on the other hand, boasts a fairly reputable troupe: Between Nicolas Cage, Sam Elliott, Peter Fonda and Wes Bentley, there’s acting talent to spare. So what went wrong? Was it the story, a jumble about a man who must become an emissary of Hell and whose motorcycle lights on fire whenever he’s in trouble? Not exactly. Was it that the script was so pandering it seemed as though it were written on cocktail napkins at the bar the night before (or perhaps the morning of) shooting? Well, maybe, but that’s not it either. Was it Eva Mendes? Hmm. The biggest problem with this film — among many, many others — was that tale of a ghostly hellion required absolutely no suspension of disbelief from either its actors or its audience. Sure, it’s difficult to suspend disbelief when you’re asked to play a man whose head lights on fire all the time, but hey, isn’t that the job? The original comic and the revived version both contained a sense of sadness, a depth created by Johnny Blaze’s hatred of what he’s become, and a sick fascination with the power it’s given him. Nicolas Cage, who wasn’t always a national embarrassment, might have had the depth to pull this off at an earlier point in his life, but no longer. And no matter, either: They’re already working on a sequel. (Jonathan Durbin)


Year of the Dog
In this film, Molly Shannon’s spinster character, Peggy, spends most of the first third exhibiting acute emotional instability by imposing her mourning over a dead dog on anyone who will listen. Fine. Then she falls for a dude who’s totally gay, except he’s not because he’s asexual. Sigh. Fine. Then she fills the loneliness of her life by taking up an animal-activist lifestyle, which includes condemning, preaching to and plying with propaganda all who disagree. NOT FINE. That she (spoiler alert!) never receives her comeuppance and is ultimately rewarded with a happy ending for being so damn obnoxious and irresponsible (her job as a secretary allows her to embezzle money from work to save, like, farm chickens or something) suggests that writer-director Mike White actually condones her behavior. He also supports the quirky-indie-comedy pitfall of being so focused on your own charm that you can’t even see how charmless of a condition that is. A complete, utter and offensive waste of time. (Rich Juzwiak)


Yes, Ratatouille was visually titillating, as all Pixar movies are, but the story itself was a weak mix of bad jokes and a bland plot that left us craving more. We’ll buy a rat named Remy that lives in France and sounds like he’s from Brooklyn, but we had nothing but hate for that gangly loser Linguini, who, as a main character, had less appeal than a limp noodle. There was nothing to like about him because there was nothing to him except a red ‘fro and some roller skates. And while it was fun to suspend disbelief and watch a rat cook, there was nothing fun about the inexplicable ability Remy had to control Linguini’s limbs while yanking his hair like reins. Couldn’t those Pixar geniuses come up with something better? Audiences loved Ratatouille because we’re trained to drool at Pixar’s magical animation moves. But take away their cartoonin’ skills and all that’s left is a dull story that lacked spice. Waiter, send this flick back to the kitchen. (Kate Spencer)


*Sex and the City
With a release date slated for late Spring, 2008 and nary a trailer released, I can honestly say I already hate this movie. Let’s dismiss for a moment the geographic particulars of the filming and how disruptive it’s been for New Yorkers, and concentrate solely on what we know: The insufferable television show responsible for screwed-up female values (“I spent my down payment on heels”) has been extended into a feature-length film with all your favorite, one-dimensional characters returning after very public squabbles over cash. So what can we expect? A movie that rests squarely on hair color to delineate the passage of time (“I was so naive and brown-haired!”), some irritating scene narration from SJP (with plenty of puns), and the likelihood that Samantha will gall Charlotte with her sexual escapades. In other words, re-run city. Thanks, HBO. (Lauren Harris)

*Bonus worst-movie-to-be review.

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Britney’s Worst Year Ever: November



You were there through the bad driving, the head-shaving, and the Criss Angel thing. It’s been a tough year for our girl. No one could have imagined a mere 12 months ago that she’d create such glorious new nonsense every week. Some of the craziness escapes you? Come back every day: We’re counting down the events that made up the Year in Britney.

November 14Inhalers and Car Seats – Spears failed one of her mandatory drug tests, which were put in place as a stipulation of her custody agreement. The drug Provigil – which is used to treat narcolepsy — was found in her system. Just two days later, a judge ruled that Britney is prohibited from driving with her children in the car. [Access Hollywood]

November 18Natural Born Hustler – Spears made a stop at the Hustler Store, purveyor of sexy lingerie and sex toys, after midnight. When the pop star attempted to try on the underwear she’d selected, store staff informed her that due to the laws of society and the rules of hygiene, she was not allowed. The star then stripped down in the middle of the store in front of 15 customers. When asked to pay, the late-night skivvy shopper rolled her eyes, and snatched a pink wig as she walked out. [Us Weekly]

November 20Like A Virgin, Only Not – Just two days after her bizarre episode at the Hustler store, Us Weekly wages all out tabloid war, publishing a report that Spears lost her virginity at the tender age of 14, and not to Timberlake, which she’d always maintained. The magazine also revealed several family skeletons in its cover story on the fallen star, chiefly that depression runs in the Spears family, and Britney’s grandmother had committed suicide after her infant son died. [Us Weekly]

November 28Knocked Up?InTouch reports that Britney is in a family way, by producer JR Rotem. Rotem was one of the pop star’s first suitors following her separation from Federline, and confessed to Blender magazine that he’d “f*cked her wheelbarrow style.” InTouch reports that Rotem had confirmed the pregnancy, but Britney pal Sam Lufti quickly quashed the rumor, calling it “B.S.” [JustJared]

November 28Britney’s Very Own Wonderland – On the same day the pregnancy allegations broke, Star magazine had a cover story on Britney’s “Fantasy Room.” Apparently Brit has a room in her house dedicated solely to her kinky sex hobby. Within the mirror-ceilinged room are ticklers, spanking paddles, fur-trimmed handcuffs, costumes and pictures lining the walls of the pop star in a variety of lewd positions. Apart from the double-locked fantasy room, the spy also claimed that Brit’s house is a mess, with feces-stained couches. [Star Magazine]

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2007′s Craziest: Kanye vs. Fiddy


Two of the music world’s biggest stars, Kanye West and 50 Cent, went at it old school in a battle of words over whose new album – both of which dropped on September 11th – would sell more records. The guys threatened a televised debate over whose album was better, and 50 even claimed that he’d retire from making albums if Kanye beat him with a bestseller, saying “They would like to see Kanye West give me a problem, because I’ve worked myself into a space where I’ve become the favorite. Everybody roots [for] the underdog when he goes against the favorite.” In the end, Kanye kicked Fiddy’s ass, but not before a Rolling Stone cover of the two cemented their feud as a fan favorite. And even though 50 eventually called it out as a stunt, their battle brought some of the fun, the spunk and the street back to an industry saturated with songs about bling, boobs and Bentleys.

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While You Were Having a Life…


If you were too busy stuffing your face with junk to stuff your brain with gossip and entertainment news over the past few days, have no fear: we’ve rounded up the biggest pop-culture stories that happened over the long weekend. The following is all you need to know about what happened when you were on holiday or just too lazy to turn on the computer:

jay-z_roundup.jpgJay-Z Quit Def Jam – Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Jay-Z came to day, “Beyoncé, with your nose so bright…” Kidding! But Jay really did announce on the 24th that he’s leaving his post as president of Def Jam. There wasn’t much by way of explanation: in the vague wording of his official statement, he’s looking to “take on new challenges.” Bizarrely, he plans to keep recording for the label. If his history with retiring is any indication, expect him back in that leather seat and chomping on a cigar within a year’s time. [E! News]

Katherine Heigl Married – Bland led the bland as the world’s most inexplicable movie star met her singing, songwriting beau Josh Kelley at the aisle Sunday in Park City, Utah. And when they get divorced it will be just as uninteresting! [People]

Lindsay Lohan Turned Out To Be a Sex Addict - I knew she was too good in I Know Who Killed Me to be acting! [News of the World]

Michelle Rodriguez Spent Christmas in Jail – At least someone would have her over. [Us Weekly]

A Woman Was Arrested for Taking a Picture of R. Kelly in Court - And then he peed on her. [Yahoo!]

Will Smith Maybe Said Something Questionable About Hitler…? – On the goodness of human nature, Will Smith reportedly told a Scottish paper: “Even Hitler didn’t wake up going, ‘Let me do the most evil thing I can do today.’ I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was ‘good’. Stuff like that just needs reprogramming.” So, maybe it was foolish of him to attempt to get into Hitler’s brain in the first place, but whatever — he didn’t say that Hitler was good, he said that Hitler was deluded. The distinction was, apparently, lost on the Jewish Defense League who said that Will’s words “spit on the memory of every person murdered by the Nazis.” O RLY? The outcry caused Will’s rep to proclaim the allegations “a lie.” “It speaks to the dangerous power of an ignorant person with a pen.” So, wait, he didn’t say that, then? Sorry, I can’t hear anything over the Christmas carols and rustling of wrapping paper. []

Britney Spazzed at the Paparazzi – For some, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. For others, it’s just business as usual. []

[Image credit: Getty]

2007 Celeb Crazy Talk: Rosie, Paris & Alec



Famous people say the darnedest things, and this year was no exception! We’re honoring the craziest sh*t to come out of their restylane-enhanced mouths this year, and bringing you our fifteen favorite celebrity quotes of 2007.

  • “Big, fat, lesbian, loud Rosie attacks innocent, pure, Christian Elisabeth.” - Rosie O’Donnell, during her final fight with Elisabeth Hasselbeck before quitting The View.
  • “Dogfighting is a terrible thing…” - Michael Vick, reading a statement after pleading guilty to federal charges of dog fighting.
  • “It was just crazy—one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I don’t know how to explain what happened. I don’t really know myself. I can’t remember what I looked like. I couldn’t recognise myself. It was terrifying—I was terrified. I was so out of control. It just happened. It shocked me. I’m sorry—I just don’t know what got into me.” - Amy Winehouse, describing her summer drug binge and overdose.
  • “You’re a thoughtless little pig.” - Dad of the year Alec Baldwin to his 12-year old, in the venomous voicemail heard around the world.
  • “They say when you reach a crossroad or a turning point in life, it really doesn’t matter how we got there, but it’s what we do next after we got there. Usually you arrive there by adversity, and then it is then and only then that we find out who we truly are and what we’re truly made of. It’s a process, a gift and a journey, and if we can travel it alone, although the road may be rough at the beginning, you find an ability to walk it. A way to start fresh again. It’s neither a downfall nor a failure, but a new beginning.” - Paris Hilton, reading some of the stunning prose she wrote while behind bars for three weeks.

2007′s Craziest: It’s Barely Britney, B*tch


No matter how many times Lindsay left rehab or how many tears Paris shed in prison, 2007 belonged to Britney Spears. And nothing – NOTHING – solidified her complete transition from teen star to train wreck more than her botched performance at the MTV VMAs in September. The sequined bikini, the dead look in her eyes, her stumbled dance moves and half-assed attempt at lipsyncing all sealed the deal. It was truly too much for most people to stomach. The whole world was rooting for a comeback, and well – we got one. After that five-minute mess, the world gave up on Britney because Britney gave up on Britney. And that, my friends, should be a used as a lyric in a song on her next album, permitting that she actually gets out of her Frappu-coma and heads back into the recording studio.

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