The Top 10 Moments of the I Love New York 2 Reunion

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I Love New York 2 couldn’t have gone out with a bigger bang if…well, if it had included things not suitable for TV. You know, like actual banging (although Sister Patterson came close!). I can think of no better way to end the series than with 90 theatrical minutes of Jerry Springer-esque insanity. To help make sense of it all, I’ve assembled my10 favorite things that happened during the course of the reunion. Let’s jump right into it and start, funnily enough, at the begging.

10. Those Amazing Intros

For some guys, the half-second that they’re shown on screen as their name is announced is the extent of their appearance on the show. By now, they know to make it count.

For example, It’s way of saying hello was classic It.

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This is, like, It’s default expression at this point. It’s his child’s pose, his first position, his buffalo stance.

20 Pack made sure to permanently erase our memories of his insane body that earned him his nickname in the first place with the most minor of changes.

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Abs? What abs? All I remember is a blonde streak. He should change his name to 20 Volume after the peroxide he used.

But the best thing about this?

The most enterprising chance to make a first impression was undoubtedly taken by Yours.

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He looks so happy with that rubber-band bound stack of money that I think it’s a travesty that La La didn’t call him and his cash to the stage and ask how they met. But then, you know, the cash would probably have produced a gift box with its divorce papers inside, thereby stealing New York’s final-act thunder and we could not have that, now could we?

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Monday: Sean and Jayden Safe with K-Fed

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federline-010708.jpgBounty Hunter Star Busted in the Nude
Dog’s bro and fellow bounty hunter Tim Chapman was arrested after cops found him naked in his truck getting busy with himself. Bad judgment must run in the family. [TMZ]

K-Fed Gets the Kids
Brit’s out and Kevin’s in as the sole custodian of their two kids. Phew – there’s still time for them not to get completely f*cked up. [TMZ]

Nicole Kidman: Knocked Up and Nervous
Nic’s dropped out of her latest film to maintain her health while pregnant – and to hide from the world without her botox. [NY Post]

Is Tom Cruise Scientology’s #2?
A new unauthorized biography alleges that Tom Cruise is Scientology’s second-in-command and that Katie was impregnated with L. Ron Hubbard’s sperm. Um, duh? [NYDN]

Brangelina Pretends to be Normal in Missouri
Brad’s brood relaxed and hit up a local pizza place while visiting his family in Missouri and basked in the lack of attention they received from locals. Psst, Brange – they were ignoring your asses! [Us]

Box Sets 2007: Funky Sh!t & Tragedy Galore

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Miles Davis The Complete On The Corner Sessions

Some of the fun in roaming through retrospective box sets is finding unissued tracks that add to the music’s ongoing story. In the case of the famed trumpeter’s most experimental music, that track may be “Mr. Foster.” For 15 minutes Davis wrings blood from his horn, which is hooked-up to a wah-wah pedal and surfing a web of nasty funk pulses driven by drummer Al Foster, whose relentless churning earns itself some props in the song title. It’s snarling yet graceful, obnoxious yet entrancing. This set is the rock-jazz motherlode, the record that critics have been creaming over for the last few months. When Davis made this stuff, in a string of studio dates that stretched from ’72 – ’75, he was milking Sly and Family Stone, digging the drones of Indian music, and swimming in a sea of funk. Now-exalted, it was snubbed by the era’s jazz fans as being crazy-ass street shit. The naysayers were right: the jams are a jumble of rhythms, glowing with black pride and an acknowledging all things sensual. That’s why hip-hop heads get on board so quickly. Loaded with tension, they glorify the groove and stick it full of glowing abstractions. Put on one of these six CDs, press play, and a whole afternoon will disappear real quick.

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Blog Best-Of: Vivica’s Video

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vivica_blog_links.jpg- Vivica A. Fox‘s purported sex tape leaks. So when she denied it, was that b.s. coming out of her mouth, or was it a penis? [Crunk + Disorderly]

- Mariah Carey trolls St. Bart looking like a hooker. Or, are hookers trolling St. Bart looking like Mariah? The eternal debate rages on. [Dlisted]

- Jennifer Aniston‘s ass…wait, Jennifer Aniston has an ass? That’s even bigger news than that whole Britney thing. [CityRag]

- Both Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown fail to show up in court for their divorce hearing. Aw! They’re having as hard of a time dealing with their split as I am. [Bossip]

- A “midget rodeo” hits TV and it’s…not on VH1. The universe is collapsing. [Best Week Ever]