Britney’s Breakdown: Hair Intact, Mental State Long Gone

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We may not be hearing from Britney Spears for a few days – she’s reportedly going to be hospitalized and receiving some serious medical care for the next 72 hours. Here are some other tidbits surrounding Brit-Fest 2008 that have popped up since this morning:

  • The starlet apparently was hysterical when strapped down to the gurney. “They had to strap her down like a mental patient and she was going between laughing and hysterics,” a source said.
  • Britney may not have been on drugs at all – in fact a new report alleges that her blood tests cane back completely clean. Soberly insane seems kinda crazier than drugged up and insane, right?
  • Lynne Spears is distraught and has asked us all to pray. I am praying that I never read about Britney again. How about you?
  • Before she locked herself in the bathroom with Jayden, Britney told her court-appointed monitor that she wasn’t planning on giving her kids back to K-Fed. The monitor called the cops, saving the day.
  • Brit’s currently being held at Cedars-Sinail Medical Center on an “involuntary psychiatric hold, also known as a Section 5150,” which allows for people in need of “serious need of mental health treatment” to be held involuntarily for up to 72 hours. If it’s determined that she is in need of further treatment, the stay can be extended, against her will.

We hope Britney’s getting all the rest, care and Cheetos that she needs – maybe they can even ween her off her Frappucinos in between dealing with all that mental stuff. And now, back to praying.

Johnny Depp’s Worth His Weight in Stubs

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According to a recent survey, Johnny Depp was the No. 1 income-generator for movie theaters in 2007. That’s the second year in a row in the top spot for Depp, who starred in the third film in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise over the summer, and garnered himself a nomination for Best Actor at this Monday’s Critics’ Choice Awards. Also nominated were Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood), George Clooney (Michael Clayton), Ryan Gosling (Lars and the Real Girl), Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild) and Viggo Mortensen (Eastern Promises). Tune in to VH1 Monday night at 8 p.m. (EST) to catch the winners live at the 13th Annual Critics’ Choice Awards. From red carpet to post-show wrap-up, we’ve got you covered — whether Sweeney Todd takes home the award or not.

Connected: Make a Big Splash

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conn.jpgEveryone wants to make it to Amy‘s pool party – it’s the only way to celebrate New Year’s Eve. But in the last episode of our online saga, the gang can’t seem to arrange their plans. Everyone’s dialing up everyone else to make sure they’re on the same page. Amy needs Diego there by midnight, or else she “might have to start kissing the bartenders.” Emily and Jane decide whether they want to get dolled up in a rocker chick outfit, or a sexy cocktail dress. Quincy and Jane argue about the limo. David and Ruthie continue their nasty flirtations. 2008 starts with a wet and wild romp. No one will have a problem connecting this year.

Kim Kardashian Pimps Herself Out

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kim-kardashian-0104.jpgWe’re gonna go ahead and do exactly what Kim Kardashian wants us to do: give her more press. So let’s just get this over with:

Kim Kardashian is so amazing and intriguing!
We can’t believe she might be engaged to Reggie Bush!
We can’t believe anyone cares
!

Phew. That’s done. Kim is working really hard manipulating the press into thinking that she may or may not currently be engaged. A well-placed source (fingers crossed that it’s her sis) said, “Kim is trying to create attention in her life because nothing else is really going on with her. The whole debate over her engagement is buzz, and that’s what she wants. She’s not engaged, but her friends are telling all their celeb weekly contacts that she is.” It’s a good thing she doesn’t have a job so she can focus full time on squeezing some fame out of a sex tape and her famous ass.

We repeat: Any publicity given to Kim Kardashian is just buzz generated by her scheming ways! Er, including this post. [NYP]

Avril’s Show Stolen By Lil Jon

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Avril_LavignePoor little Avril Lavigne. Everything was going so well for her on New Year’s Eve. With her highlights newly hot-pinked and her husband on her arm, Avril attended Prive’s New Year’s bash, where crunkalicious rapper Lil Jon was DJing. With Avril booked to call the countdown, things were looking good for the self-proclaimed “motherf*cking princess.” Disaster struck when Lil Jon decided to do his own countdown, drowning out Avril and sending her into a tailspin. “I wanted to do the countdown!” Avril reportedly cried to hubby Deryck Whibley. Page Six reports that Avril finally dried her eyes when the club brought out the Dom Perignon.

Fashion WTF: The Suri Bob’s Bizarre Popularity

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Why this hairstyle has regained it’s popularity, we do not know. But whatever you want to call it – the Suri, the Saleisha, the Tutti – it’s back and it’s BAD. Like really bad. It’s not flattering on anyone, but still everyone keeps cutting their hair and shaping it freakishly around their face. After we noticed Jennifer Hudson stepping out with this new do, we realized something was really awry in La La Land. We’ve accumulated the above images not so much as an hommage to this frightening hair style, but as a warning to any future daring gals – and guys – who might want to go crazy in the barber’s chair. Sit tight. Get the Rachel. This look is wrong on just about everyone – except Dora the Explorer.

Vanessa Hudgens Traumatized By Her Naked Bod

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vanessa-hudgens.jpgHigh School Musical hotness Vaness Hudgens is now talking about her little nudie pic scandal from last summer, and she’s still kinda messed up by it. Cuz you know, we all saw her boobs and her vag. “I’m much better now. But truthfully I don’t like talking about it,” Hudgens told Seventeen. “It was very traumatic, and I am extremely upset it happened. I hope all my fans can learn from my mistake and make smart decisions.”

It’s kinda cool that’s she’s owning up to it, because Lord knows there’s a ton of crap we did at 17-years old that we still don’t like to admit. Her mom sounds equally as hip; Vanessa reveals that when she told her Ma about the pics, she said, “Well everyone can be naked if they want to.” Very true. And everyone can photograph it too. But not everyone who does is the hero of seven-year olds across the globe. That’s the catch. But young fans should listen to Vanessa’s wise words and take them to heart: “Don’t post your private business for the world to see!” she says. “You just have to be careful.” So true! Blur that sh*t out before you upload it to the web! At least make your dirty pics a little safe for work – the millions of people clicking on them will thank you. [MSNBC]

Tila Tequila: Friday Night Self-Love and Home-Made Pornos

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Tila Tequila, the delightful minx that drives us to distraction, strayed yet again and spilled the raunchy secrets of her heart to Blender magazine. She told them everything; when she jerks off, what she’d do to Angelina Jolie, even the “talentless whore-slut” rumors. You can check out the complete interview here, but we’ve included a few dollops of Tila’s wisdom below.

It’s a typical Friday night at 11 P.M. What are you doing?
Jerking off. [Laughs.] Watching TV, eating and jerking off by the fireplace.

Have you ever videotaped yourself having sex?
Yeah, who hasn’t? I’m like, “Listen, I don’t want to waste any more money renting porno. Why don’t we make our own?” We’ll watch it, and I go, “Damn, I’m hot!” [Laughs.] And then I destroy it, right then and there, so I know it’s not going anywhere.

How would you characterize your taste in sex?
Uninhibited. I learned that the more comfortable I am and the more I go all out, the more I get from the other person. They look at me like, Wow, this girl’s crazy!

Who could you meet that would make you lose your cool?
Clive Owen. He’s really grungy. If I’m dating a guy, I want him to be a man. And Angelina Jolie. Back in the day, I would have totally banged her.

What do people who don’t like you say about you?
That I’m a talentless whore-slut. Well, I must have a lot of talent to get a reaction out of everyone.

Friday: Pam’s Third Divorce a Charm!

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pam-anderson.jpgKatie and Christina to Be Costars
Mrs. Cruise wants to star in a film with the dirrrty singer to seem more edgy. How about just divorcing her weirdo husband instead? [DListed]

Pam Finally Ditches Sex Tape Hubby
It’s official – Pam Anderson’s third marriage is over after a few months. What dud can she date now? [Us]

Is There a Vivica Fox Sex Tape?
She’s denying it, but her ex is claiming he’s got a naughty video of Vivica floating around. Don’t celebs spend enough time in front of the camera as is? [NYDN]

J. Lo Ready For Boy and Girl Babies
Lopez and her house husband have been shopping for pink and blue everything for their future twin tots. We’re already cringing imagining their matching outfits. [NY Post]

Jay-Z Ditched Def Jam for More Cash
Hova bailed on his post as head of the iconic label cuz the pay wasn’t good enough. Beyonce needs her yachts and bling ya’ll! [NY Post]

Britney’s Breakdown: Takes Kids Hostage, Ends Up Hospitalized

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Britney Spears Hospitalized After Custody Dispute.

Last night sh*t went DOWN at Britney Spears‘ Beverly Hills mansion (she had given a deposition with Kevin Federline‘s lawyers earlier in the day). After refusing to turn over her kids to K-Fed’s bodyguard at the scheduled pick up time of 7PM PST, his lawyer and the police were called to the scene. Brit stayed holed up in her house with the tots, hours passed, fire trucks and ambulances arrived, and at 11:45 PM Britney was removed from her home on a gurney and taken to the Cedars-Sinai hospital in a police-escorted ambulance. Cops revealed that they believed that Britney was “under the influence of an unknown substance.”Her youngest son Jayden was also taken to the hospital but has been released, and both boys are now in the safe arms of their stable backup-dancer dad. Meanwhile, Britney remains at the hospital where she is allegedly a “special needs” patient, explained a source, meaning that “they have either overdosed or tried to commit suicide. So we go stay with these patients and monitor them constantly. We watch them so they don’t hurt themselves…”

You can check out the insanity and Brit’s arrival at the hospital in the video below. We’ll keep you posted on any further updates. Until then, holy sh*t. [Us/OK! Photo: Splashnews]

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