30 Rock: Last Night’s Best Lines

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Jamie, a 23-year-old hottie, delivers coffee to the office, and Frank “goes gay,” swooning for him. But Jamie digs Liz, who blots out the fact that she’s way older than him, and accepts his invite to a gallery opening. Tracy‘s motorcylce has hit a police horse, and his community service stint is coaching a minority baseball team from NYC’s roughest ‘hood, Knuckle Beach. Jack thinks Tracy is a lousy coach, and tries to help the team. Yes, it was nice to see Judah Friedlander get some camera time last night. What was your favorite part?

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Jenna: Liz, I’m getting drinks with recently-divorced camera guy, you in?

Liz: Well, I…

Jenna: Legally separated sound guy’s gonna be there…

Liz: Uh, I don’t feel well.

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Frank: Dude! I totally forgot. I bought you a sweater. It’s slim-fitting – they call it a French cut. And it wasn’t on sale or anything.

Jamie: Wow, thanks.

Frank: Do you need any help trying it on?

Liz: Frank, stop it.

Frank: I can’t. I’m gay for Jamie.

Liz: No, that’s not a thing. You can’t be gay for just one person…unless you’re a lady and you meet Ellen.

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Friday: Mary-Kate Olsen Leaves Hospital to Canoodle

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mk-olsen-1130.jpgMary-Kate Gets Back to Clubbing
Quick recovery? You got it dude! Hospitalized for a kidney infection last week, Mary-Kate Olsen is back out on the town – dancing until 3Am and getting cuddly with a generic Hollywood hunk. [NYP]

Emails ‘Confirm’ Britney’s Baby
In Touch claims the emails they have on a Blackberry from JR Rotem confirm their claims that Brit’s knocked up; however isn’t that like the easiest thing to fake? [In Touch]

Paris’ Boy Toy Meets the Parents
Paris took her Swedish model out to dinner with her parents. Is it getting serious or did she just need them to pay? [DListed]

Brad Pitt Bans Nude Scenes
Daddy Braddy doesn’t want to be mortified when his kids watch his films, so he’s canning all nude scenes moving forward. Will Angie follow suit? We doubt it! [Us]

Madonna: England’s Animal Abuser?
Always the ‘innovator,’ Madge died her sheep different colors for a Vogue photoshoot, pissing off animal activists galore. Not quite as controversial as that sex book, but she’s still got it! [NYP]

Snoop Steps Into Time Machine, Wanders Into Bob Guccione’s House

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There’s something distinctly art-porn about Snoop Dogg’s new video. “Sensual Seduction” combines elements of ’70s Penthouse, the styling of Caligula and the makeup artistry of all the Solid Gold dancers. It’s a seductive, tongue-in-cheek skewering of . . . well, we don’t really know what he’s skewering, so there’s a chance he might actually have made this in earnest. Regardless of Snoop’s intent, the end results are beautiful. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to buy some Vaseline to smear on the lens of our Super-VHS.

Blog Best-Of: Kim’s Claim

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lilkim_links.jpg- Lil’ Kim‘s new mixtape proclaims her G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time). To that I say: baaaah! [CONCRETELOOP]

- Brad Pitt says he won’t be filming anymore nude scenes. So, he won’t be making a cameo in the forthcoming porno spoof Ocean’s Thirt-Peen, I take it? [Dlisted]

- Beyoncé reportedly stumbled out of a New York restaurant. I don’t think she was drunk; I think she was just dancing. [Sandra Rose]

- Keyshia Cole shows up at 106 & Park wearing, basically, a fur bodysuit. But I’m much more concerned about the animal that’s holding court on her head. [Crunk + Disorderly]

[Image: Getty]

Paris Wants a Baby to Play With

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paris-nicole.jpgMen – guard your sperm. Paris Hilton like, REALLY wants a baby. And for all the right reasons, too! To dress the thing up in pink, carry it around in her purse and force it to play with Nicole Richie‘s baby! Paris recently said, “Nicole and I have been playing together since we were two years old.I was just telling her, ‘I want a baby so that our babies can play together.’”

At that rate their kids will be enemies by the time they’re five years old. At least Paris is smart enough to realize that she can’t make a baby happen without a friend: “I don’t have a boyfriend right now,” she revealed. “But I would love to start a family.” She also tells People that she plans on popping some babies out in two years, which means she kinda needs to get things going. We wonder what she has in mind for the playdates? Tiny tables for the babies to practice walking dancing on? Thong diapers? Spelling the words Mommy Was In Jail with blocks? Yep, Paris is right, it’d be seriously awesome if she was pregnant right now so this could totally happen. [Image: Getty]

Fashion WTF: Katie Holmes is Bangin’

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Hey Katie – this was was a realllllllly bad idea. The hair, not the husband – though you might want to reconsider that too. We’re a little put off by your shimmery, gold sweaterlette, but since it matches your man’s award, we’ll let it go (and then buy the knock-off of it at Forever 21 in a few months, natch). [Image: Getty]

R. Kelly May Be Dating a Teenager (Again)

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rkelly.jpgIt’s no secret that R.Kelly has a thing for the young ladies (R.I.P Aaliyah), but rumors are currently flying that R’s publicist quit on his ass after discovering that he was getting busy with her nineteen year old daughter. Regina Daniels stopped repping the eccentric (we’re being nice) singer after 14-years together, and when she left she released this statement:

“Though I have a great appreciation for Mr. Kelly as an artist, there are some lines that should never be crossed professionally or personally. Mr. Kelly crossed a line that forever altered the scope of our relationship. For this reason I made the decision to resign.

My husband, music retailer George Daniels, has also disassociated himself from Mr. Kelly.”

Damn! Now pics have surfaced that show Kelly getting close to a young woman reported to be Daniels daughter; though anonymous sources that seem to support the superstar singer have come forward to counter that the woman is actually Daniels’ step-daughter, and say she’s 21-years old. They also allege Daniels left her position because she wronged Kelly by revealing private info about her client. The plot just keeps thickening! We’re all sorts of confused (we’ll just wait for more pics to come out!) but at least we’ve figured out where Kelly gets his inspiration for the Trapped in the Closet series. Here’s a hunch – maybe Daniel’s daughter is really Rosy the nosy neighbor (neighbor… neighbor…)?

Kim Kardashian Lies Her Way to the Top

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kardashians-1129.jpgNo, we’re not talking about lying on her back, though she does that too. The matter at hand is Kim Kardashian, her sister Kourtney, and the $50,000 worth of jewels and computer goods they said was stolen from them at JFK airport earlier this month. Turns out the cops don’t think anything actually went down! They have yet to receive an actual police report of a theft, which means that if Kim did get all that crap taken, she doesn’t care too much about it – something we find hard to believe. Afterall, what girl doesn’t desperately need her Cartier watch? The feds think the whole thing is a publicity stunt, to which we say, “Obviously, friends!” I mean, this whole thing has “I want to be Paris Hilton, or at least Nicole Richie” written all over it. I bet it took Kimmy and Kourt the whole six hour flight to figure it out.

KK: Um like, should we fake our own deaths to get more famous?
KK: No you ass, then we’d have to like, disappear for good. Can I use your lip gloss?
KK: Oh! I’m so dumb. I should eat something, that might help my brain work.
KK: Let’s pretend to go missing!
KK: That’s like, the same thing.
KK: Oh.
KK: (fart)

The VH1 Blog Interview – Pickel

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“I had to overcome adversity. I wasn’t even cute in high school,” says Pickel during our interview with him. And there’s so much more where that came from. After the jump, Pickel talks about his fear of Mary Alice, his infatuation with Aussie Rachael and his supposed mancrush on Brett.

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