TV Junkies: The Office + More!

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theoffice.jpgIt’s premiere season, that time of the year when mighty networks struggle to maintain dominance by unleashing iron-clad television shows to do battle in the cage match of your home viewing platform. Tonight alone features so many popular favorites, we’ve been counting aloud the minutes until T-time, even during many of our important VH1 meetings — a practice, which is not, strictly speaking, a very good idea. Anyway . . . tonight’s most anticipated return around here is The Office. In the season four premiere, Michael (Steve Carrell) becomes convinced that his work environment is cursed, and so investigates the religious beliefs of his beleaguered employees. We love The Office. Maybe not enough to report out how corporate America is watching the NBC cash cow for tips on being a good boss, but then again, we are nothing if not lazy, fair-weather friends. Hey, at least we admit it. Check back tomorrow for our recap of tonight’s premiere. Elsewise, we’re looking forward to shows that are comedic, dramatic, dramedic and reality-ish-based. Highlights below:

  • 30 Rock is Saturday Night Live only missing the bad parts. Writer-actor-stunner Tina Fey might be the most talented person in television. And on the premiere (Oct. 4, 8:30 p.m., NBC), she convinced Jerry Seinfeld to guest-star. What. Is. Up. With. Comedians. Today? We can’t wait to find out.
  • Sure, there’s Flavor of Love 3, I Love New York 2 and a slew of other shows on the docket, but our forthcoming America’s Most Smartest Model might truly be the sledgehammer that opens the Seventh Seal. It’s an elimination show starring pretty people who are asked brain teasers like, “What year did Christopher Columbus discover North America?” (By the way: If you’re puzzling over who Chris Columbus is but suspect he might have been a member of Kriss Kross, and you prefer a steady diet of cigarettes and nothing, you might want to check back here in case the producers start casting around for a second season.) Watch it — Oct. 7, 9 p.m., VH1.
  • On CSI‘s eighth season premiere, Grissom and friends rush to find the victim of a serial killer. As they’ve done before. Many times. When are they going to learn? Las Vegas is safe from serial killers, people! It’s the VMAs Sin City has to worry about!

The Best of Rock of Love

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As Rock of Love draws to a close, we take another look back on the moments that rocked our world. The catfights. The cackling. The urine. The booze (and booze and booze and booze). The aerosol. The ill-advised tattoos. The meth-scratched faces. Yep, it was a special show, indeed.

Our Top 10 Rock of Love Moments Countdown starts after the jump…

Read more…

Lindsay Lohan Not Leaving Rehab Yet

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lindsayl0927.jpgPhew! The roads are safe! Dina Lohan spoke out about the rumors that her daughter was bailing on Cirque Lodge this weekend, with this simple text message to Access Holywood: “Not true staying in Utah.” How eloquent! It’s amazing that someone lacking in the creative text message department could spawn a child who coined the term “boog suge.” You read that right, but let me break it down for you in case it’s at all confusing:

Boog Suge = Booger Sugar = Nose Candy = Harmful sugar-like powder that one puts up one’s nose and leaves the user ready to do – and spend thousands – on more! [Note: May cause user to steal car and try to run ex-assistant and her mother off road]

Genius, LiLo! According to Steve-O, that’s what the starlet calls cocaine, and he knows this because she recently (before rehab, obvs) stole his stash from his bathroom. So if there’s any question as to why our friend is hanging out in rehab for a little bit longer, there’s your answer. We can’t wait to hear the adorable slang word Linds is gonna coin for “sobriety!” [NYP. Image: Getty]

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Tracy Morgan Drops Knowledge, Rhymes

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School is in session, and the esteemed Professor Tracy Morgan (he’s got a Ph.D. in break-beat and did post-grad work with the Sugar Hill Gang) will lecture you on this year’s Hip Hop Honors, airing October 8th at 10 p.m. Covered in today’s lesson — the true meaning of hip hop (hint: sneakers and robots) and perfecting the hip hop laugh. Check out which honoree is guest-lecturing…here’s a hint.

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Britney Spears Goes Camera Crazy

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In this video, Britney Spears is:

  1. Filming what her chewed-up hands look like on a driving wheel. Scary!
  2. Auditioning paparazzi for Season Two of Britney and Kevin Your Name Here: Chaotic.
  3. Desperate to capture the magic that one lunch of cheesy Mexican food can do to her saggy ass.
  4. Hoping to catch the naive happiness the adorable waitress feels when she realizes she’s serving a a train wreck. Just you wait until Britney demands her fifteenth basket of free chips! Not so happy anymore, eh?
  5. All of the above.

Any guesses?

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The Pick Up Artist: Kosmo Kisses & Tells All

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Wondering why Alvaro became Kosmo? Think you could mack The Pick Up Artist in a bar? Desperate to know why Kosmo thinks Pradeep is a faker?

The second half of our chat with The Pick Up Artist winner has all the goods on the show that Kosmo calls “an underground revolution.”

Why did you change your name to Kosmo?
Kosmo is my breakdancing name. I got it when I was 10-years old and I used to breakdance in Miami. People couldn’t figure out what I was thinking, so they called me Kosmo. I like it better. I’m out there, I’m not normal at all.

Was the show experience harder than it looked?
Hell yeah! They made it look easy on TV. It’s like going out on the battle field. Going in that bus, everyone was shaking. I was sweating and stuttering and started to think about going home.
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Thursday: Tom Cruise’s Stinky Drama

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tomcruise.jpgBrangelina Saving the World
The hot couple spent all day meeting with government officials about crises around the globe. But who picked Maddox up from school? [People]

Michael Jackson: Creepier with Age
He hasn’t been photographed in years, and there’s a reason why. We love MJ, but he’s still as weird as ever. And possibly married? [DListed]

Tom Cruise Loses Temper Over a Fart
A crew or cast member on Tommy’s new flick let one rip during a moment of silence led by the actor on set. Now he’s conducting a witch hunt to find the smelly culprit. Whoever smelt it dealt it, right? [Mollygood]

Jennifer Lopez: “I’m Not Pregnant!”
J.Lo herself is claiming that she’s not knocked up, but we still don’t by it. We’re seeing baby bumps under all those baggy clothes! [Us Weekly]

Halle Berry’s Baby in Danger?
Some lunatic is sending the actress horrible letters threatening her unborn child. If it wasn’t so scary it’d probably make for an Oscar-worthy tale. [A Socialite's Life]

Blog Best-Of: George’s Gift

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georgeclooney_links.jpg- George Clooney says, “I make movies now for no money. I just take a share of the profits – if there are any.” His presence is a gift, people. Hope you’re thankful for it. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

- At his fragrance launch party, Usher dedicates his scents to his mother. Without her, he wouldn’t smell like anything. [Crunk + Disorderly]

- Anne Hathaway‘s boobs + cats = an embarrassment of riches. Because one woman can never have too much kitty-kat. [CityRag]

- Paris Hilton reportedly was reduced to tears over comments David Letterman made during a taping of his show. Ugh. Thin skins are soooooo 15 seconds ago. [Dlisted]

[Image: Getty]

The Hills: Spencer Regrets Proposing to Heidi (Wouldn’t You?)

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The Hills are alive with the sound of drama!!! Lauren, who apparently thought that getting back together with her formerly drug-addicted ex-boyfriend would be a great idea, is shocked to learn that Jason has moved on – and in – with a new (younger) lady!

“Holy sh*t!” is a really good look for her, don’t you think?
Read more…

Ja Rule Backpedals on That Whole Homophobia Thing

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Last we heard from Ja Rule, he was raging against the Viacom machine for “these f***ing shows that they have on MTV that is promoting homosexuality, that my kids can’t watch this s***.” He went on to pronounce gay-friendly dating shows as contributing to the “f***ing up” of America. Did he instill the fear of tolerance in your heart?

After being almost universally lambasted for his homophobia, Ja Rule has answered some of Spinner’s questions regarding his comments. It’s now two weeks after the fact, but whatever. Better late than hateful. Ja proclaims himself a “a very avid speaker for all people’s rights and people having their own preference” and contends that his comments were “taken out of context.” Which: duh. Isn’t everything? Ja continues:

We’re focused on the wrong things — like, our country is at war right now. These things are more of a problem to me. Like another case I just read about — young ladies being raped by six white men. These are the stories that should be popping up on my TV screen. That’s what I was talking about, and somehow it got spun into some other s—.

So why not focus on that via your public platform instead of, you know, MTV programming, Ja? He goes on to report that he’s related to gay people and celebrates Christmas with them, he doesn’t have a problem with gay marriage and he would accept any child of his who ended up coming out to him. Well now he would, publicly, at least. Lesson learned! [Spinner / Image credit: Getty]

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