VMAs WTF: Paris Channels Your Grandma

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parisvmas2.jpgI have a feeling this VMAs hairdo has moved to the top of Paris Hilton‘s ‘Regret List,’ edging out ‘driving drunk’ and ‘all of my sex tapes’ for first place. Somewhere in a nursing home in Ohio, a frail, little grandmother is attempting to dial up Paris. She wants her hair back – and her cheap curlers. Check out more pics of the heiress’ major fashion f*ck up below.

[Images: Getty]

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Tour Survival Guide: Cold War Kids

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Now and then our Tour Survival Guide will check in with rockers about life on the road. We got theCold War Kids before they embarked on their tour opening for the White Stripes to find out about bootlegs, lucky maids and Wal-Mart parking lots.

Accidentally Tipping Maids Around the World
Nathan Willett: We had Jameson for three tours in a row. And that was no longer any fun. Now we just have water and beer. [Drinking Jameson] just gets gross.

Matt Maust: After a while we had six or seven bottles that hadn’t been drank. We left them in our hotel room once somewhere and the maid got them all. It was in London.

Post-Show Perambulations
Matt Aveiro:
I usually take a pretty fast walk after the show. Ten minutes away from everyone. I don’t think it’s really conscious. I just get off stage and I walk away from everyone, and I have my ten minutes away.

Orlando, Bootleg Capital of the World
MM:
I got a bootleg copy of The Wonder Years in Orlando, where all bootlegs come from. It’s the scam capital of the world. My mom told me that. My mom or my dad. You know [that movie] Matchstick Men? Orlando.

Hiltons, Ramadas, and Wal-Mart Parking Lots
MM:
We used to not book hotels in advance, so we’d have to stay in the van in a Wal-Mart parking lot. There’s security, and it’s legal to stay there. We stayed there once, and I woke up to a cop and asking us if the pizza box and empty bottles were ours. I told him it was our recyclables.

Check out the Cold War Kids on tour:

9/13 Kiva Auditorium, Albuquerque, NM
9/18 Bayside Concerts, San Diego, CA
9/19 The Forum, Los Angeles, CA
9/21 Greek Theatre, Berkeley, CA
9/24 William A. Egan Civic, Anchorage, AK
9/26 Paramount Theatre, Seattle, WA
9/27 Paramount Theatre, Seattle, WA
9/28 The Idaho Center, Nampa, Idaho
9/29 The E Center of West Valley, Salt Lake City, UT
9/30 Snowking Convention Center, Jackson Hole, WY
10/2 Rushmore Plaza Arena, Rapid City, SD
10/3 Fargo Civic Auditorium, Fargo, ND
10/4 Pershing Auditorium, Lincoln, NE
10/6 Aragon Ballroom, Chicago, IL
10/7 Aragon Ballroom, Chicago, IL

Brit’s Excuses: The Dog Ate My Performance

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britneyprayer.jpgSure, Britney may have told USA Today that she thought her performance on the VMAs was “good,” but any living creature with eyes who saw the thing knows better - including Brit. Which is why shortly after her crapalicious appearance, the excuses started rolling. Sarah Silverman’s comments upset Brit right before she went on! The heel on her stiletto boot was busted! She fired her hairdresser right before the show started!

We’ve come up with a few more excuse for Brit to use – after all, with a performance that bad, you need someone or something to blame:

Have any other good excuses that Britney could use? Post ‘em for the starlet below!

[Image: Getty]

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Gwen Stefani Needs to Dry Her Eyes and Shut Up

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gwenstefani_0910.jpgBoo hoo hoo. Gwen Stefani apparently let the tears flow backstage at her most recent fashion show in NYC this week. A source revealed:

“Before Gwen went out on stage at her L.A.M.B. fashion show, she was sobbing uncontrollably backstage. When asked what was wrong, she just said she was so overwhelmed. She talked about how she used to sew with her mother, and now [that] she has a baby, fashion is what matters to her.”

Funny, we were busy crying that day too – over how many stupid celebrities think they can design clothes just because they’re famous. Now that seems a little bit more sob-worthy. [NYDN. Image: Getty]

When Stars Say Dumb Things: Avril Lavigne Edition

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Avril_LavigneLittle Miss Modesty Avril Lavigne is giving Kanye West a run for his money. With bombast that’s usually found inthe hip-hop world, Avril’s telling the world how giving she is. In a recent interview with Q Magazine, she refers to Hurricane Katrina, (which devastated an entire metropolis and left thousands homeless) as “the hurricane thing [that] happened.” To evidence her charitable nature, Avril filled six whole boxes of things from her closet and told her assistant to “take it to Katrina!” Let’s put aside the grammatical error that would prevent her assistant from taking anything to a ruinous natural disaster and concentrate on this question — what the hell are the brave survivors of Hurricane Katrina going to do with studded belts and Manic Panic hair dye? Avril also evoked the “I’m Rubber, You’re Glue” line of reasoning when she called everyone who dislikes her “losers.”

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Tommy Lee & Kid Rock Fight Over Old Trash

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pamandersonvmas.jpgApparently this piece of hotness is what caused the Kid RockTommy Lee fight during Alicia Keys’ performance at last night’s VMAs (You can check out the whole thing in the video below). We’re glad these two grown men chose to battle over their mutual ex-wife, cuz it was one of the only fun things about the excruciating mess of ass-kissing and Fallout Boy performances. Kid Rock was charged with a misdemeanor after clocking Lee a couple of times; Lee had allegedly been harassing Rock all night with cracks about their ex. We don’t care if these guys duke it out (after all, they’re rockers – they’re supposed to do dumb shit when they’re like 45-years old) but maybe they should take a good look at the nastiness they’re competing over, call a truce, and go trolling for some hotter ass together. [MTV. Image: Getty]

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Meet New York’s Men!

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Here’s your first look at the men who will compete for the affection of Miss New York, come Oct. 8, when I Love New York 2 premieres on VH1. We’ll be unveiling individual shots of all the guys in their respective groups (the Mama’s Boys, the Online Casting and the Regular Casting) all week, but for now you can feast your eyes on the group shot (click to enlarge) and some outtakes below.

And yes, that’s a little person standing at New York’s side. He’s one of her potential suitors and he goes by the name Midget Mac. Seriously. No, really.

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VMAs Recap: What Happened in Vegas…

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It all started with some ratty extensions…

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…and it only got worse from there. Is this the VMAs or a Rob Zombie movie?

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Still too hard to tell.

Britney’s trainwreck more or less set the tone for the rest of last night’s show, which was supposed to be a new-and-improved version of the Video Music Awards. Mostly, it just felt schizophrenic, with its performers scattered through a series of “parties” at the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas. Though less ceremonious in general (gone away, for the most part, were performer introductions, thankfully) and about as short as you could possibly expect an awards show to be (just over two hours, double thankfully), this year’s VMAs was a series of quick cuts and excerpted performances. It felt like a parody of MTV and the short-attention-span generation the network supposedly spawned. The awards show is what would happen if ADHD got ADHD. (And what’s worse — they gypped us out of what was undoubtedly the best part of the night: the Kid Rock-Tommy Lee tussle.)

After the jump, we recount some highlights. And by “highlights,” more times than not, we mean “lowlights.”

Read more…

Britney Spears Goes For the Man Meat

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She may have forgotten how to dance and lipsync, but at least Brit’s still good at some of her old tricks. And doesn’t this dude look a tad like JT?

Britney’s Ball Grab!

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