Marilyn Manson Talks Firecrotch

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Marilyn Manson, King of the Goths, returns with a new record next Tuesday. In advance of its release he’s doing all sorts of funny promotion, like divorcing his stripper wife, humping his barely legal girlfriend and covering Justin Timberlake songs. Now he’s even doing stand-up. Just kidding. Sort of. In this bizarre video, Manson discusses Lindsay Lohan‘s vaginal grooming. Hmm. Is Marilyn someone you’d let near your swimsuit area with a razor?

Clive Hates Kelly Clarkson … Or Does He?

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Clarkson News about American Idol wannabe Kelly Clarkson‘s feud with her label head, Clive Davis, continues to surface. The New York Post reports that the Grand Old Man of pop is furious that Clarkson isn’t listening to his suggestions about her music. We, on the other hand, have begun thinking that the lady doth protest too much. Frankly, if Clive Davis wanted to shut Kelly Clarkson down, he could. (To paraphrase Cliff Huxtable, he gave Kelly life . . . and he can take it away.) Since he hasn’t, we’re forced to assume that all this strife might all be a media stunt. In which case, it is you, dear public, who suffers.

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Blog Best-Of: Rihanna’s Rank

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Rihanna_links2_2- Rihanna is certified perfect and if you disagree, you’re probably blind. Ella. Ella. Ella. Hey, hey, hey. [Crunk + Disorderly]

- The now-iconic pictures of Lindsay Lohan passed out in the front seat of an SUV get defaced in a hilarious feature called “Stuff on My Lohan.” It’s amazing what Photoshop can do to bring out your inner frat boy. [CityRag]

- In other Lindsay news, her (former?) man Callum Best has been caught with his pants down, snorting drugs off hookers. Look, buddy, Lindsay Lohan is the only hooker you should be snorting drugs off. And don’t you forget it! [Best Week Ever]

- After George Michael was found slumped over the wheel of his car in October, sleeping medication, an anti-depressant, GHB and cannabis were found in his system. Sounds like quite the party – what’s the problem? [Towleroad]

- LL Cool J has a nip slip, but will he become the scapegoat that Janet Jackson did? Doubtful. That’s sexist America for you! [Bossip]

Oops! I Upchucked Again

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Brit2 Just one day after admitting she hit rock bottom, a vomit-covered Britney Spears had to be dragged out of the men’s bathroom at a Los Angeles hot spot. The rehabbed young mother apparently apologized by saying, "I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Things aren’t going well for me at the moment."

It’s doubtful that Britney meant for her "comeback" to include stumbling around dripping in her own puke. So I gotta ask: is her sobriety back on the skids or did the pop princess eat something toxic?

Lindsay Seeks Treatment, But Her Family Still Needs Help

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Lindsay The LiLo-palooza train-wreck shows no sign of slowing down.  Yesterday Lindsay Lohan did what everyone was hoping and checked herself into the Promises treatment center in Malibu.  After being driven to the detox palace by her lawyer, Lindsay’s people released an "official statement", asking for some privacy so she can kick her bad habits in peace.  What they really mean is: LEAVE GIRLFRIEND THE HELL ALONE, ALREADY!

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Wednesday: Paris Is No Heiress; Fergie Freaks About Taco Bell

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Parispretty
Pretty Paris Heaved From Heiress Book
Editors of an upcoming photo book of beautiful heiresses from around the globe unanimously voted to exclude Paris from its pages.  Perhaps she’ll be asked to pose for piece on gorgeous convicts instead? [NY Post]


Enrique to Anna: "Adios!"

Game over!  Maybe-married couple Iglesias and Kournikova have split after five years together.  Now Enrique can get back to trying to beat his dad’s record number of lady lovers – a tally that’s allegedly in the thousands. [The Sun]


Young Jeezy Cuffed At Strip Club

The rapper was arrested early Thursday morning following an argument at
a Hot’lanta strip club. The drama was a family affair – both Jeezy and
his sister were cited for disorderly conduct. [MSN]

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Jackson Family Crap: Cooler Than Your Family Crap

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Today, the Jackson Family Auction kicks off, which means people with too much money will be able to take a little piece of the Jackson home. For the rest of us, it means that we get to virtually rummage through the Jacksons’ crap as shot after shot of the auction lots are posted online. We win! I mean, try to not gawk at this:

Jacksonauction_alienthing

What is it? Probably some film prop. Why did Michael Jackson own it? A few thousand plastic surgeries ago, it provided a model for the face MJ would come to own:

Jacksonauction_s2s

And there’s more beauty below!

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Nicole Richie: Jerkface or Evil Genius?

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In Touch Weekly has acquired what’s said to be the email invite to Nicole Richie‘s Memorial Day Party. It rhymes and is awesome. Here it is:

Nicole_invite2


Beyond the prophetic nature of the rhyming portion (since Mischa Barton really did pass out), the highlighted section is really the genius of this invite. If this is real, Nicole Richie has a postmodern sense of her celebrity. Despite her reputation and blog gossip, Nicole Richie has always contended that she doesn’t suffer from an eating disorder. With this invite, she’s mocking the mockers — she isn’t merely laughing at herself, she’s laughing at this media-spun image of herself. Maybe she really is anorexic (I mean, look at her), but that would make the joke even more devious (for then she’s spinning her problem so hard, she’s actually aligning with her detractors).

No matter what the underlying truth is, if this email is real, Nicole Richie is a socialite who’s too smart for her own good. She’s practically a unicorn.

Bobby Brown: Lyrics Not a Prerogative

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Brown Bobby Brown‘s got a lot of things to keep straight. Years of suspected drug use, warrant-dodging and being married to one of the music’s most difficult divas can muddle a man’s mind, which is exactly what happened at his performance in Southampton at Stereo this weekend. Brown began to sing his hit  "My Prerogative" only to stop before the second verse and apologize for forgetting the words. Brown might have also been distracted by his new ladyfriend Alicia Etheridge, a longtime friend of ex Whitney‘s, who Brown was reportedly making out with in a car for 30 minutes prior to peforming. When asked whether he was seeing anyone, Brown responded: "I’m dating, so it’s not like I’m single."