Ashlee’s Leaked Song Kills Your Ears

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It’s apparently Leak Week here on the internet, and it looks like Ashlee Simpson is the latest pop star to have a new song sneak its way onto the web. The alleged name of her new jam is “Murder,” which is what your gonna wanna do to your ears after listening to her whiny, nasal-y voice for three minutes. Look out. [via DListed]

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Thursday: Brit Sprayed on Fake Abs for VMAs, Mary-Kate Hates Wearing Clothes

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britneyspears_0912.jpgBrangelina Bolts From Big Apple
Now you see them, now you don’t. The Bran Clan jets from New York City and heads to…who knows? Disney World? Paris? The moon? They just can’t seem to settle down. [JustJared]

Britney Fakes Her Toned Abs
Reports reveal that the singer used “ab-defining spray” to give the illusion of a toned tummy. Sounds like a Criss Angel magic trick! [Us Weekly]

Eve Thirsty for Free Vodka
Eve’s booze-monitoring ankle bracelet is off, and she’s out celebrating her love of all things alcoholic out on the town. Sounds appropriate – for getting in trouble with the law again. [NYPost]

Diddy’s Diamonds Goin’ to Court

The hip hop mogul is going to court for assault and must bring his diamond rings with him, so his accuser can see if the size and shape of the jewels match his injuries bling-juries. [E Online]

Mary-Kate Olsen Runs Around Naked
The actress takes the lead over her sister in their “Which Twin is More Fun” Contest after revealing that she loves to run around her house dressed only in jewelry. [Us Weekly]

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Rock on TV – The Shortlist

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gridlockd.jpgJonesing for music on your television set? You’ve come to the right place, rockers! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1’s Rock on TV schedule daily.

Gridlock’d, 12 a.m. (EST), Showtime Showcase: In one of the last junkie epics ’90s, Tupac Shakur, Tim Roth and Thandie Newton wrestle with heroin and health-care — getting off the one and getting on to the other. It’s one of the last things Tupac filmed before he died, and the film showcases his remarkable charisma. Fans of spoken-word poetry, jazz and abject melodrama, take note.

The Jimmy Kimmel Show (with Kanye West), 12:05 a.m. (EST), ABC: Chances are that Immature Little Mr. Temper Tantrum will most probably not cancel on Jimmy (the way he did earlier with a few other shows), but Kanye’s going to have to be nothing short of miraculous to win us back after all the garbage he’s spewn in the press, the trash he talked at the VMAs, and the absurd non-event that is the fight between him and 50 Cent. As an artist, Kanye’s . . . ok. As a role model, he sucks pretty hard. Don’t you think?

Owen Wilson: Buying a Sober Friend

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owen0912.jpgEveryone’s favorite suicidal funny-man Owen Wilson has apparently hired a “$750-a-day sober companion” to help him stay on the wagon. Wilson’s already been to rehab twice and doesn’t feel like going back, even though he probably needs it as badly as Paris needs some dignity.

This sounds like a super fun gig but we’re already tied up. So who’s available?

  • Nicole Richie: They can go shopping for baby clothes and discuss smack addiction in between yoga sessions!
  • Dina Lohan: She was a great help to Lindsay, why not let her enable someone else?!
  • Kanye West: He canceled his entire promo tour, so what else is he gonna do?
  • Kate Hudson: What’s better than an ex-girlfriend to take your mind off of your addiction problems. Plus that gal is just totally adorable. Kinda makes you feel like stayin’ clean, doesn’t she? [Yeeeah! Images: Getty]

owensfriends.jpg

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Ja Rule: Don’t Hate Hip-Hop, Hate Gays Instead!

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In an interview with Complex, Ja Rule rants against the media’s persecution of hip-hop, and suggests that gay people make much better punching bags.

There’s a f***ing black kid right now about to get 25 years for having a fight with some white kids over hanging the nooses over the white tree, let’s get to that. Let’s get into s*** like that, because that’s what’s tearing up America, not me calling a woman a bitch or a hoe on my rap songs. And if it is, then we need to go step to Paramount, and f***ing MGM, and all of these other motherf***ers that’s making all of these movies and we need to go step to MTV and Viacom, and lets talk about all these f***ing shows that they have on MTV that is promoting homosexuality, that my kids can’t watch this s***. Dating shows that’s showing two guys or two girls in mid-afternoon. Let’s talk about s*** like that! If that’s not f***ing up America, I don’t know what is.

It should be pointed out that Ja Rule’s shirtless, cartoonishly butch antics in his videos have done just as much to promote homosexuality.

You feel me? It’s funny how a homophobe can come off so…gay.

[SOHH.com / Getty]

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More Close-Ups of New York’s Men

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Here’s the next round of individual shots of the men who’ll compete on I Love New York 2. These five are the rest of the Regular Casting guys (peep the first five Regular Casting guys here). Do you think 20 Pack is named for his sculpted abs? And if so, is he part insect? I don’t even want to know what that looks like, but I’m sure we’ll find out Oct. 8 when I Love New York 2 premieres on VH1.

Boota:

Wolf:

It:

Cheezy:

20 Pack:

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Hip Hop Honors: Questlove Respects Snoop

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QuestloveIt’s no secret what we think of this year’s Hip Hop Honors recipients. If we were host Tracy Morgan, we might say we want to take them out back behind the middle school and get them pregnant. So since you already know what we think, we thought we’d ask some of hip hop’s deftest minds and smoothest voices for their opinions of the honorees. Here’s the Rootssuper-producer Questlove, who will be at the ceremony airing on October 8th at 10 p.m., on Snoop Dogg:

I believe that Snoop Dogg is hands-down the most charismatic figure in hip hop history. I know that it’s very dangerous to speak in those terms of hip hop, but you really have to examine his track record. To me, the one element that he has [is] longevity. Yes, Slick Rick has a very charismatic voice [and] great narrative. There’s a lot of MCs that have awesome narratives. There are a lot of MCs that have great voices, and presence when they’re on television. But the name of the game is can you give me a triple double score fifteen years in a row? That is where your greatness will come to life. He has an amazing voice, and he has an amazing amount of context when it comes to his career.

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Kanye West Threatens Us With a Good Time

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As you can see in the shot above (and the gallery below), taken at a New York Virgin Megastore yesterday, Kanye West is busy at work promoting the release of Graduation. But, according to the New York Post, he isn’t promoting-promoting it. The Post cites three recent cancellations from Kanye — a Today show performance last week, and TRL and Letterman spots that were to go down yesterday — as an indication of Kanye’s ballooning arrogance.

The paper surmises that his thought process could be something like, “I don’t even have to promote my album for people to buy it.” While it’s fun to think that Kanye’s delusions may have reached self-destructive heights, it’s probably not the case. Fame whoring is as crucial to Kanye’s career as laying down beats — you can be sure that only the most extreme circumstances would keep him from in front of the camera (his publicist says that problems with the production of his act were the cause of the Today cancellation). He’s doing this for us, people. And by “us,” I mean “him.” [New York Post / All images: Getty]

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Britney and Madonna: Terrorist Targets?

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Britney Spears and Madonna have been threatened with forcible Islamic conversion and, if that doesn’t work, death. The hate-slinging comes courtesy of Muhammad Abdel-Al, mouthpiece and senior leader of the Popular Resistance Committees, a militant Palestinian organization that reps the Gaza Strip. According to a new book, Schmoozing With Terrorists, Mo promises that, “if these two prostitutes keep doing what they will do, we of course will punish them…We can stone them and even we can kill them.” He’s also quoted as having proclaimed:

If I meet these whores I will have the honor – I repeat, I will have the honor – to be the first one to cut the heads off Madonna and Britney Spears if they will keep spreading their satanic culture against Islam.

Leave it to religious fundamentalists to take music criticism to a new level. They often get called out by Westerners for being “backwards,” but clearly, they are innovators. [WorldNetDaily / Image credit: Getty]

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