Rock on TV – The Shortlist

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metal1.jpgJonesing for music on your television set? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1’s Rock on TV schedule daily.

Heavy: The Story of Metal: Welcome to My Nightmare, 8 p.m. (EST), VH1 Classic: We know what you want. We know what you need. We know what you crave . . . because we crave it, too. You know what we’re talking about. That’s right: We’re talking about metal. Heavy metal. Glam metal. Sludge metal. Death metal. British metal. Hair metal. Speed metal. Clown metal. Post-modern metal. Underoo metal. Folk metal. It doesn’t matter to us — any sort of metal will do. Tonight, we continue to help shorten the country’s attention span by reviewing the past 40 years in the heaviest rock around with this series of documentaries. Break out the assless chaps and sheepskin-lined jean-jacket, underachievers. Get ready to rock all. night. long.

The Henry Rollins Show, 11 p.m. (EST), IFC: The buff former Black Flag frontman (and one-time ice-cream vendor!) treats audiences to some political conversation with Ariana Huffington and a musical performance by Sinead O’Connor. One time, a long time ago, Sinead tore up a picture of the pope on national television. It was a very big deal back then. These days she’s exploring a more Rastafarian vibe. If you can dig it, we suggest you hang.

Ask Doc Ali

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Ask_doc_8

Scott Baio Is 45…and Single may be all about Scott Baio, but his life coach, Doc Ali, isn’t. In addition to helping Scott sort out his love woes on TV, she’s helping our readers sort out their problems online. If you need some advice on love, life and/or work, drop Doc Ali a line here. And check this spot every week to see if Doc has answered your questions.

After the jump, Doc Ali continues doling out the virtual guidance.

Read more…

What Are Your Favorite Songs of the ’90s?

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britneyspearshitmebaby.jpgAh, the ’90s.What adecade: U2 dressed up like girls, Tupac‘s stomach tattoowas legendary, and we were allfeeling so magnanimous that somehow Moby became a star. VH1′s 100 Greatest Songs of the ’90s celebrates the days when Britney Spears wasn’t crazy, just jailbait, and O.D.B. was racking up court dates faster than Ike Turner times Phil Spector to the power ofLindsay Lohan. Now it’s time to honor the decade that began with C&C Music Factory and ended with the stupidity of Woodstock ’99. We want your participation, too. What songs do you think shouldmake the list? Vote here, now. The people will have their voice! (The show airs in December, so check back for updates.)

Teen Beauty Queen an Inspiration

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Genius!So you think Miss South Carolina Teen, who seemed to bumble on TV, is dumb? Think again. Some great speeches have an immediate emotional impact (“I Had a Dream”) and others take time before their excellence is fully realized (“The Gettysburg Address”). But all great orations are studied and emulated around the world. By this standard, Miss South Carolina Teen’s quip about U.S. geography is shaping up to be a masterpiece. Listen to our (fake) sound clips!

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Blog Best-Of: Jessica’s Jolt

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jessicasimp_links3.jpg- When Jessica Simpson found out John Mayer and Cameron Diaz are dating, she reportedly “had her mouth open a mile wide.” Unfortunately, John did not accept the invitation. [Dlisted]

- Terrence Howard says that when he can “discipline” himself in the area of sex, he’ll become a Jehovah’s Witness. Jehovah is such a killjoy. [Crunk + Disorderly]

- The woman Remy Ma shot speaks out: “It’s really hard. It really hurts.” Is she talking about her injury or Remy’s hairdo? [CONCRETELOOP]

- Lauren Conrad is photographed in a bikini. This is her way of reiterating that she’s younger, thinner and has more free time than you, just in case you missed The Hills this week. [The Blemish]

- James Blunt hooks up with yet another model. “You’re beautiful,” isn’t a line; it’s a way of life. [Celebslam]

[Image credit: Getty]

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Foxy and Her Weave Come Undone in Jail

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Get yo weave on!It sounds like Foxy’s kinda losing it in prison, and it’s not just because she misses all of her Louis Vuitton bags. Her fellow inmates have been instructed not to look at or speak to the hip hop diva, who apparently is desperate for some human contact. “She’s [alone] all day, every day,” a former inmate said “They’re just keeping her away from everybody.”

Foxy has to take her rec time and meals alone for “security reasons” – to protect her fellow inmates from her Blackberry-throwing ways, probably. Brown has also thrown fits about getting potato chips and washes down meals of ramen noodles with orange soda. Ex-inmates also report that her weave is a total mess, with one saying, “Her hair looks like whoever did it ran. That’s how much the weave is coming apart.” Just like her life. [NYP. Image: Getty]

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“Umbrella” Could Have Been Brit’s Song

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britney083007.jpgList of Things I Regret
By Britney Jean Spears

  1. K-Fed
  2. Sean Preston
  3. That other baby I have
  4. Not wearing pants yesterday
  5. Passing on “Umbrella,” which could have been my ticket to Comeback City ya’ll!

Britney Spears is dumb enough to eat Cheetos for every meal, but is she really that stupid to not snatch the song “Umbrella” when it was offered to her? Apparently. Producer Tricky was holding the song for Brit but her people never called him back about it. Flash forward a few months, and well, you know the outcome – Rihanna is our queen and Britney the court jester. [Popcrunch. Image: Getty]

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Lindsay: Doped Up & Doing Dudes in Rehab

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lindsay083007.jpgWe like our Lindsay Lohan one way and one way ONLY. Crazy, cracked out, and knockin’ boots. Thankfully we’ve learned that even rehab cannot change her – no matter how many times she tries! The latest dirty news to come out of Utah this week is that LiLo was forced to take a drug test which came back positive. A rehab spy said, “Lindsay got called into the director’s office on August 15 and was questioned about drugs. When ordered to take a drug test, she reluctantly complied but screamed and cursed at the medical director before storming out the room. She was told that if she couldn’t conform to the programme she’d have to leave.”

Of course she allegedly failed the test. What’s even juicier is that she also apparently got caught getting her bone on in the bathroom with a fellow patient. I want to believe these rumors, but I feel like even Lindsay is above bathroom sex. That’s so Britney. Lindsay would at least steal away to one of the massage rooms or something. Girl’s got a little class. Just a little. [Mollygood. Image: Getty]

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Rock of Love: Your Weekly Forecast (Episode 8)

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Think you know what Bret Michaels wants and needs? Let us know which girl the Poison frontman will cut from the house next and which girls he’ll ask to stay. Watch this week’s Sneak Peek, then make your picks. (Click thumbnails to view full size)

Which of the five remaining girls has the best chemistry with Bret?

Mia got the boot last week. Did you forecast her dismissal?

Which fallen girl would you like to see Bret invite back into the house?

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Eve Is Not Amused

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eve_monitor.jpgPoor Eve! Not only did she have to withstand public scrutiny following her DUI arrest in April (she calls the ordeal “disgusting”), but she also has to put up with an alcohol monitor around her ankle that she envisioned being the size of a beeper, but is more akin to Bose headphones. According to her, “It’s the most annoying thing.” Awwww! Too bad she didn’t get thrown in jail, because that would have been so much more pleasant. The legal system is just so hard on celebs!

Eve gets to remove her Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor in about a week (she wore it as part of her plea deal), but she had it around long enough to teach her something:

I definitely learned my lesson. It was a stupid situation, stupid decision. I did something dumb and now I’m paying for it…Don’t drink and drive kids.

At least she got to complain about it. That’s a sort of retribution, right? [People / Image credit: Getty]

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