Every day we’re amazed at the ridiculous things that come out of the mouths of famous people. We’ve rounded up the best of this week’s wackiest celeb statements for your reading pleasure, straight from Jamie Foxx, Amy Winehouse, and a slew of your other favorite stars. Enjoy their wise words – and your sanity.
- “If they’re using dry paper, they aren’t washing all of themselves. It’s just unclean. So if I go in a woman’s house and see the toilet paper there, I’ll explain this. And if she doesn’t make the adjustment to baby wipes, I’ll know she’s not completely clean.” – Terrence Howard, detailing to Elle Magazine why he will only date women who use baby wipes after going to the bathroom. [DListed]
- “Blake is the best man in the world. We would never ever harm each other. Take back what you said on the blog. I thought you was my girl. I was cutting myself after he found me in our room about to do drugs with a call girl and rightly said I wasn’t good enough for him. I lost it and he saved my life.” - Amy Winehouse in a text message to blogger Perez Hilton, following a bloddy fight with her husband. [PerezHilton]
After getting off nice n’ easy with a plea bargain that will land the starlet with one day of jail time and ten days community service, Lindsay Lohan released the following statement admitting – finally – that she is “addicted to alcohol and drugs.” Give it a read and let us know what you think – is she fully changed or full of s**t?
“It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have. I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so.”
[TMZ. Booking Image]
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You know you’re over 30 when you discover that bad credit and collection agencies aren’t just the stuff of insomniac theater. In last night’s I Hate My 30s, Chad‘s poor financial habits catch up with him and leave him homeless. In the meantime, Kyle and Katie get an unexpected visitor. The two roommates get to host Kyle’s teenage niece, Kelly, after she has an argument with her mother and runs away from home. Kelly’s the shoe-shopping obsessive of Internet fame, and her abrasive personality doesn’t mesh well with Katie, who’s an obsessive herself — an obsessive real-estate agent. We caught up with Katie and Kelly to ask them about each other, Kyle and shoes. Interviews after the jump. Read more…
The latest installment of the Amy Winehouse saga has taken a left off of disturbing onto the expressway to tragic. On Thursday night the rehab-averse Winehouse was spotted ducking into a newsagent to pick up smokes, bloodied and her signature eye make-up smeared. Photos of her sliced up husband (commonly thought of as the British Kevin Federline) and Winehouse were quickly put up on PerezHilton.com, but here’s where the story takes a turn for the battered wife syndrome. After texting Amy to convey his concern, Perez receives several texts back, explaining what happened: “I was cutting myself after he found me in our room about to do drugs with a call girl and rightly said I wasn’t good enough for him. I lost it and he saved my life.” As time goes on Winehouse gets more and more agitated that Perez hasn’t posted her version of events, stating her husband “deserves the truth, he is an amazing man who saved my life again and got cut badly for his troubles. All he get is horrible stories printed about him and he just keeps quiet, but this i too much.” So let’s get this straight — he’s cool with getting sliced with razor blades and finding his wife doing drugs in a bathroom, but the final straw is “lies” on the internet?
Katie Holmes Takes a Spill
Mrs. Cruise trips and skins her knee while walking with Suri in a massive pair of high heels. It’s the most normal thing she’s ever done! [X17]
Timberlake Conquers Hollywood
Justin continues his quest to be the ultimate renaissance man and signs on to star in a new film with Mike Myers, that surprisingly does not involve a green monster. [Variety]
Brangelina Battling Over the Kids?
There are rumors of a major fallout between the hot couple that has resulted in a spat over who gets the kids. We thought these two were really into peace? [Popbytes]
Is Paris Back With Her Ex?
The car belonging to her hunky Greek ex was spotted outside Hilton’s abode in LA. Maybe she’s trying to play catch up with Nicole. [X17]
Pete Doherty Heads Back to Rehab
Sick of this guy and his drug problems yet? Let’s hope he gets clean this time and then gets out of the public eye for good! [DListed]
Beyonce Meets Destiny – On Her Ass
Justin Reminds Britney Who’s In Charge
Angie Gives Up Whips and Leather for Brad
Paris Latches onto ‘Entourage Star’
Pete’s Cats are High on Crack
Every week we round up selections from the funniest, most obscene and brutal film criticism out there so that you don’t waste your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: The film adaptation of The Nanny Diaries, a roman-a-clef about a young woman (Scarlett Johansson) who tends to the children of an obscenely wealthy Manhattan family and falls in love with a Harvard hunk (Chris Evans), isn’t just execrable. Apparently it’s so far beyond insulting, it’s got liberal standard-bearer The Village Voice arguing for the rights of employers everywhere. Enjoy the irritating fantasy, audiences!
“A grim slog . . . a display of chick-flick clichés through the ages.” — New York
“Boss hate . . . has become something of a literary cottage industry in recent years, with the appearance of several surprise bestsellers about the disgruntled underlings of the rich and famous (or the merely rich), most of which are so fatally predictable in their imperious bile-spewing as to make you wonder when some CEO will counter the trend with the scandalous memoir The Assistant Shows Up Late, Makes Personal Calls on Company Time, and Is Delusional Enough to Think That I Should Actually Care About Her Feelings.” — The Village Voice
Jonesing for music on your television set? Don’t know what to watch? Love to see your favorite musicians tied up in absurd plots? Well, then, you’ve come to the right place, rockers! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1′s Rock on TV schedule daily.
- Forbes’ Top 20 Hip-Hop Cash Kings, Friday, 3 p.m. (EST), E!: Do you like loot? Do you like to watch other people make the moola? Are you dying to know which modern rapper is positively lousy with dough? Tune in. Here’s a hint: His name rhymes with Cray-Z. And he’s worth eleventy-billion-million dollars!
- Tapeheads, Friday, 10 p.m. (EST), Fuse: It’s the original spoof to end all spoofs, starring Tim Robbins before he got all political and John Cusak when he was still friends with that guy from Entourage. The two play bumbling music-video makers. They meet a cast of weirdos along the way, including Fishbone, Ted Nugent and Jello Biafra. But if you’re actually at home watch this on a Friday night, we suggest you get help. Or a LavaLife account.
- Keyshia Cole names her new album, Just Like You. Frankly, I’m kind of insulted. [Crunk + Disorderly]
- How is a pack of Newports like a man? It’s hard on the outside, doesn’t say much, and New York loves having it in her lap. [Bossip]
- American Gladiators is coming back. And so is homoeroticism to the unsuspecting! [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Remy Ma turned up uninvited to Vivica A. Fox‘s birthday party. The guy who turned her away has balls. (And maybe a bulletproof vest.) [A Socialite's Life]
- The “Obama Girl” is set to pose for Playboy. See how Internet stardom can be the key to unlocking your dreams? [Dlisted]
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Happy birthday, Hayden. This is the week that the Heroes starlet turned 18. It’s also the week that the first season of her superpowered TV show comes out on DVD. On the small screen she plays Claire Bennett, an indestructible Texas cheerleader, but in real-life, the actress is very much larger-than-life. Hayden’s basically been working since she was in the womb, and she’s comfortable with fame. Comfortable enough to tell David Letterman, for instance, that, “I don’t think much changes when you’re 18 — maybe the way people treat you. But I think the only things I can do is buy cigarettes, porn and, if I get in trouble with the law, I’m kind of screwed.”
Nice to see that she’s so civic-minded. In actuality, she did spend her birthday registering to vote. For such a tiny little blonde person, she’s got oodles of charisma. (Another favorite quote: After Heroes was picked up for a full season in 2006, she bought a Porsche Cayenne SUV and told Entertainment Weekly, “I almost ran over Kanye West this morning.” Good going!) Check out our full gallery of Hayden pics here.
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