Every week we round up selections from the funniest and most brutal film criticism out there so that you don’t waste your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: The Heartbreak Kid. The Farrelly Brothers get their Stiller on in a thingee about a marriage that goes wrong in the first five minutes. Some critics thought it was okay, but some didn’t.
“A comic vision remarkable for its hysterical misogyny.” – The New York Times
“When the movie announces its big theme – ‘Bitches be crazy!’ – a girl behind me at the screening actually called out, ‘Oh no he dit-int!’ Yes, ma’am. Yes, I’m afraid he did.” – The New York Post
Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. Why is Barbara Walters advising people on lubricant and why is Rosie O’Donnell telling us all about it? The former View host ended up doing a short stand up set last night with Roseanne Barr and revealed a few very interesting tidbits. According to Rosie:
- Barbara Walters fired her.
- The other View co-hosts wear ear pieces so producers can feed them information. Rosie did not, of course.
- Barbara Walters once suggested that Rosie use AstroGlide to presumably spice up (or lube up) her love life.
Barbara Walters. AstroGlide. Why do these things go together? And doesn’t Rosie probably already know about it already? On second thought – we don’t want to know. [NYDN. Getty]
Rock of Love‘s Heather may have failed to snag Bret Michaels‘ heart, but that hasn’t made her less interesting. Today, the New York Post printed a brief interview with Heather, in which she reveals her immediate plans: she’s moving into a Los Angeles house with Rock of Love alumna Brandi C., Kristia and a wild-card: Internet sensation Chris Crocker (you can see a shot of Heather canoodling with Crocker in our post on the Fox Reality Channel Really Awards). Says Heather:
“[Chris is] funny and hilarious. He’s very flamboyant and he’s controversial, which is awesome . . . I think a reality show with the four of us in L.A. would be a great idea.“
Of course she does. Heather also reveals that she’s soon meeting with VH1 to “talk about a few things” for the future. Could I Love Heather be far behind? Regardless, how much you wanna bet that this is the tattoo that Heather will soon be rocking? [New York Post]
Rock of Love Photos
Season Finale Recap
You know how Janet Jackson looks different every time you see or hear about her? Sometimes she’s fat, sometimes she’s pregnant, sometimes she’s an alien? Well, it seems that she’s come home to Planet Sexy, as she looked radiant and reminiscent of 2001 Janet (that’s the All for You era, for those not playing along) at last night’s premiere of her new movie Why Did I Get Married? in Los Angeles. Check the shots below to soak in Janet’s hotness and see her with Married director Tyler Perry, some co-stars, longtime producer Jimmy Jam and honcho L.A. Reid, who’s said to be masterminding her next album. In light of that, Janet’s appearance makes sense: she’s got her new-album face on. Goody!
[All images: Getty]
Janet Jackson Artist Info
Janet Jackson Photos
R. Kelly just can’t stop his genius from flowing out of his mouth. Set to music, it almost sounds like a sexy slow jam and not a fight with his woman over the phone. But hey, that’s just Real Talk for you, Kelly’s latest internet sensation. Just a couple of cameras, a posse, some cigars, and R talking about “just how real sh*t gets when you argue with your girl.” It’s all sorts of awesome mixed in with a whole lotta F bombs. So sensitive ears, be warned. [via Crunk & Disorderly]
R. Kelly Threatens Rock of Love’s Tiffany with a Good Time
When Tiffany Met R. Kelly
R. Kelly Artist Info
R. Kelly Photos
J Lo Announcing Baby in Big Apple
The singer is reportedly going to announce her big baby news to the hometown crowd at her Madison Square Garden concert. Nothing like breaking a secret to 40,000 of your best friends. [NY Post]
Owen Wilson Finally Out in LA
He’s back! Owen skipped the red carpet but took the stage with his co-stars at the premiere of his new movie. Good news: he’s still hot. Phew! [People]
Nicky Hilton Needs Publicity
In a move borrowed from her sister Paris, Nicky Hilton has called in the paps to cover her birthday as a way to inadvertently plug her new Las Vegas restaurant. Looks like they share more than just trashy clothes. [NY Post]
Britney Accused of Child Abuse
The singer’s former bodyguard has officially filed charges of child abuse against the starlet. She’s gonna need two Venti Frappucinos to cope with that news. [Us]
Jessica Simpson Moving to NYC?
Jess is looking at apartments in Manhattan, which will presumably cause the entire city to move out. Should be easy to find a place! [Just Jared]
Lyrics are key, beats are big, but one thing Monday night’s show isn’t going to let us forget is that dancing – yes baby, dancing – is central to hip-hop culture. When LL Cool J came out to tell us all about living the b-boy life, he was reminding us just how physical and seductive the music is. Introducing the Wild Style section of show and having Busy Bee and company taking the Hammerstein stage, all the spins, handstands, toprocks, windmills, and freezes brought out the groove’s theatrical aspects. And it’s infectious, right? That’s why Fab Five Freddy was standing up, swinging his butt in the Honorees box. Ditto for the bounce that was in the air a bit later, when WHODINI took over the stage with “Freaks Come Out At Night” surrounded by dudes doing suicides and butterfly kicks. “Grafitti artists and breakdancers are what got me into hip-hop,” Busy Bee said after his spot. “It’s nice to be back; me, Caz, KRS-One are still doing it, still looking good.” Even Snoop‘s low-key body language stuck out. Guess just swooping right and gliding cool is a way to make a big statement. Give yourself plenty of room in front of the TV on Monday, you might catch the fever. [Pictured: T-Pain/Getty Images]
Always good to know something about the host of a big show. In midtown Manhattan, on Thursday night, rattled off a list of his fave discs to kick 07 Honors live. (Feel free to fill the comment section with what you think might be some of those discs, and know this in advance: he’s a Nas fan). Then the 30 Rock comedian busted some poetry, telling us that the music stretches from jazz to showmanship to the gangster lean itself. Then he hit the brakes. “Before we go any further I gotta tell you something about your boy. Me and hip-hop come outta the same womb, the Bronx. What that means is me and hip-hop is blood brothers, like KRS-One: “I am hip hop.” I’m Slick Rick’s first chain, I’m all of Afrika Bambaataa‘s records in his crates, and yes, yes, ya’ll, I’m the the hydraulics in Dre‘s Cadillac, I’m the Forbes’ richest rappers list, and the carboard box under the breakdancers’ heads, I’m every train on the 4 line. And I’m loving my butt-crack boxer shorts, saggy pants, eff the police attitude.”Boom. Street creativity, cultural weight, and commercial clout summarized nicely. See ya Monday night.
What is it about these Hollywood types that they can’t just break up and shut up? Take exes Kid Rock and Pam Anderson – their mouths are open and they only have wonderful things to say about each other. In the latest interview with Rock in Rolling Stone, he jumps right into a touchy subject without an ounce of tact. Here’s his tale of the time Pam got pissed when he ditched her(shooting in Vancouver) for a Lakers game: “I’m like, ‘Baby, I got these tickets. I’ll see you on the weekend there,’ and that leads into her saying, ‘You don’t care about me, blah blah blah.’ She finally comes up with this: ‘I just had a miscarriage’ … and hangs the phone up.”
Rock goes on to detail what happened when he finally got to Canada to see his woman, saying, “She’s partying at this restaurant, drinking champagne, jumping on the tables. I’m thinking, ‘That’s a quick recovery from a miscarriage.’ ”
Eek. TMI, Kid! Pam’s publicist did confirm back then that the actress had suffered a miscarriage, but even if she made it all up, shouldn’t the guy just keep it to himself and his journal? Pam has asked that, “If he has nothing nice to say about me, then please tell him to stop talking about me.” Good luck, lady! [People. Getty]