Kardashians: Waxed Wuzzies & Big Hearts



The pregnancy scare, the marriage scare, the DUI scare – in recent weeks we’ve seen a few headaches come and go on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. But, in an expression of holiday sweetness, last night the girls jumped into the life of a homeless dude named Shorty, providing him with all the momentary comforts an uppercrust ‘burb chateau (including kopping a feel on Kourtney). After asking the grizzled boomer to not hang out near her fab frock house Dash, Kourt felt pangs of guilt, hit her mom for advice, and drove the guy home where he was shaved, bathed, and dressed in the Saturday clothes of the girls’ step-dad Bruce Jenner. You can draw your own parallels between this outburst of beneficence and the similar tale of baby sister Karamel, Kattapillar, Kutsie-Wootsie, Kendall going to a millionaire’s pound and retrieving a pup after her Olympic star daddy forbid another dog in the house.

Last night’s other big event was the siblings’ raid on brother Robert‘s date with a Playboy hottie. That was typical family fun, but during the prep session, as the ladies were stripping their bro of his chest hair by ripping it from him as he lay on the kitchen table, it was revealed that Kourtney or Khloe do the same on their privileged privates. Mom Kris wasn’t around to add her down-south confessions, and Jenner wasn’t talking. Wax on!

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Pete Defends Ash from Band of Nobodies


pete_wentz_ashlee_simpsonThere’s a lot of negative inspiration a band could draw upon to write a nasty song about Ashlee Simpson: the nose, the creepy dad, the bizarre sister. California rock outfit Neurosonic selected Ashlee as their muse for an entirely different reason — her botched 2004 Saturday Night Live appearance and her Billboard award [Ed: WTF?]. The band penned “So Many People” in her honor (Sample lyric: “Am I the only one feeling the itch because they’re giving away the Billboard to some phoney little…”), and while all 280,000 of their MySpace friends might be into it, one person is definitely not.

Whereas in the past overprotective Papa Joe may have gotten involved, boyfriend Pete Wentz went ahead and sent a cease and desist letter to the band, requesting they refrain from playing the song. This Saturday, the band openly ignored the legal order at their New York City show, playing the song, and inviting the crowd to do a jig in the disgraced pop star’s honor.

Quiet Riot Singer Dead in Vegas


Can’t say whether or not girlz will continue to rock their boyz, but we can say that it’s been reported that Quiet Riot‘s lead vocalist and musical centerpiece, Kevin DuBrow, died over the weekend in Las Vegas. The hair metal outfit ruled the early ’80s with such hard-hitting cheese such as “Cum On, Feel the Noize” and Metal Health. If you were driving a car and pushing a cassette tape into the dashboard back then, chances are good that you were holding Metal Health. It went to the top of charts in 1983. DeBrow’s bandmate Frankie Banali has left this note on his site, and metalmeisters around the world are expressing condolences.

What’s your favorite Quiet Riot song?

Linda Hogan Didn’t Want to Dump the Hulk


hogans-divorce-2.jpgWait a second, say what? Apparently Linda Hogan, who filed for divorce from her hubby Hulk Hogan just two days before Thanksgiving, is desperate to make her marriage work. So desperate, that she is legally trying to end it. Huh?! A “source” tells TMZ that, “she keeps saying to him ‘Can’t we find a way to make this work?’ She doesn’t want to see the family break up. She really wants to work it out with him. But it is like pushing up against a brick wall. She is heartbroken about it.”

Meanwhile, Hulk is apparently pissed that the world thinks that he heard the bad break up news from a reporter. Not true, another anonymous source reveals! “He actually heard it from his lawyer,” says the spy in the know.”There was no surprise. It had been coming for a while. They have grown to be two different people. When hardships hit them, it really brings them down.” [TMZ. Image: Getty]

Pretty Explains…Well, Not Very Much, Actually


Last week’s I Love New York cast-off Pretty has uploaded a hyper-produced video to YouTube featuring multiple camera angles, various transitional wipes and his attempt to take a “moment to clear the air” about what led him to walk off the show. He spends three minutes doing so. Here it is:

While he does touch on some of the mystique surrounding his portrayal on the show (he did have an ex and “she’s definitely an ex-ex,” at that), there’s a lot more air that needs clearing. He makes no attempt to explain why his answers to Real and Chance were completely out of synch with his sister’s to New York and Sister Patterson. Also, as he chalks up the gay rumors to stemming merely from the way that he carries himself, he’s skirting the issue of how the allegations arose in the first place (who was he checking out and why did that person think that?). Honestly, I never thought Pretty was gay (even when he made the remark about the glitter pen), but even now I’m not sure that he’s giving us the whole story.

NGAB: Bye-Bye Bluegrass, Hello Satan



We’ll never get to hear the banjo’d-out version of “No Expectations” or “Honky Tonk Women” or whatever Stones song Cliff Wagner & the Old #7 were plotting before they got deep-sixed last Friday night. Americans with money and phones have voted, and bluegrass ain’t part of Next Great American Band’s agenda.

That’s okay, it’s a pop and rock world we live in, especially when you’re selling blocks of commercial time in a talent contest, so we’re now down to six outfits that are going to take us through the start of ’08. I’ve still got my fingers crossed for Tres Bien, who did the shimmy-shimmy-shake on “Get Off My Cloud” (with a “Satisfaction” guitar riff thrown in for you dudes who miss mash-ups) and conjured a vibe out of That Thing You Do.

All in all, it was a surprisingly fun romp through the Jagger-Richards songbook, with no one – except for the big-band nimrods – embarrassing themselves. The metal rugrats should have told Dicko to sticko and come out sans shirts for their “Jumping Jack Flash” romp. Something very odd about seeing an 11-year-old from the San Diego suburbs singing that he was “born in a cross-fire hurricane,” but the Light of Doom kid swings his hair around really well; I believed him for a sec or two. And the praying pickers in the Clark Brothers summoned the dangers of the devil quite convincingly with their judge-pleasing “Gimme Shelter.”

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Monday: Nobody Puts Oprah in a Corner


oprah-1127.jpgOprah’s Enemies Try to Ruin Her Rep
Some weirdo is trying to trash Queen O with an expose book about alleged discrimination at her production company. We smell an Oprah’s Book Club pick! [NYP]

Did Paris Sell Out Pal Nicole?
Someone is trying to sneakily sell pics of Nicole’s baby shower (of which In Style has the exclusive pic rights) to the tabs that feature a certain blonde someone in the center of every image. BFF can also stand for Bad Friend Forever, apparently. [NYDN]

The Spice Girls Get Hacked
Someone broke into the Girls’ website and posted a message announcing the cancellation of the show. Surely the culprit deserves to be slammed down and zigazig-ahhhhed for this crime. [People]

Lohans Battle at Family Therapy
It is so nice to see that everyone’s Thanksgivings are wonderfully dysfunctional. Nothing goes with pumpkin pie quite like a group counseling session! [X17]

Britney Spends Thanksgiving Shopping
The singer just HAD to go to the Virgin Megastore on Thanksgiving to buy a CD and a movie. Think she was trying to boast sales of her own album flop? [Us]

Hogans Divorce: Let A Reporter Tell Him



Oh no, brother! Everyone’s favorite blonde mom in clear heels, Linda Hogan, has filed for divorce from her wrestling star hubby of 24 years, Hulk Hogan. For four seasons, the pair, along with their kids Brooke and Nick, have lived out the ups and downs of famous family life – and marriage – on Hogan Knows Best. The couple has hinted at relationship troubles in the past and even attended couple’s counseling after the bickering got to be too much. Most recently, they’ve been dealing with Nick’s car accident, a crash that has left him facing legal charges (and his friend still in the hospital).

Though Linda filed for the split last Tuesday, she never told her hubby. The news reached the blogosphere – and Hulk – Friday evening. The St. Petersburg Times broke the news to him over the phone; daunted, he replied “Thank you for that great information.” After calling the reporter back five minutes later, Hulk (known to family and fans as Terry) said, “I’m kind of shocked. You caught me off-guard. My wife has been in California for about three weeks. … Holy smokes. Wow, you just knocked the bottom out of me. … I just pulled over to the side of the road for five minutes to find out what was going on here.”

Linda is reportedly asking for “an equitable split of assets” (the couple owns two Florida homes and have a Las Vegas condo under construction) as well as joint custody of 17-year old Nick, asking that he maintain a residence with her while Hulk getting “liberal visitation.” Her reps say she has no current comment on the split, but when she does, we’ll be listening. We imagine her soon to be ex-husband will be as well. [Image: Getty]