The official ad for Mariah Carey‘s M fragrance has hit the Net…
…and it’s sort of sad that she would have been better off going with the fake one. Note to Mariah: next time, take your cues from Schatar. Seriously — what is she supposed to be in that ad? A rock formation?
The worst thing about the ad is that it’s so eager to convince you that Mariah is younger than she is, and yet it can’t even decide on a fake age. The ad suggests that Mariah is simultaneously:
- 27 - The in-the-water motif is sooooo “My All” video, which came out about 10 years ago. It’s as though Mariah never left the water! Swimmer’s ear is so sexy and fragrant.
- 12 - No wrinkles? Ridiculously smooth skin? Summer-camp slick hairdo? Check, check, check. She’ll always be our eternally pubescent baby.
- 6 months – Her butt is smooth as a baby’s. Even worse: that Photoshop-enhanced forehead is, in a word, fetal. Are they trying to tell us that M smells like babies? I repeat: sexy and fragrant. [Mariah Daily Journal]
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Hip Hop Mix Tape: August 2007
MTV’s uber-popular show returns for a third season next week, and the trash talking and cat fighting leading up to it is out of control! After Lauren spoke out about her former BFF in Us Weekly, Spencer and Heidi have been throwing it right back wherever and whenever they can. Spencer recently ranted about Lauren on his personal message board, calling her “the famous Boyfriend stealer,” among other way worse – and hilarious – things. Just yesterday the couple continued their verbal beat-down during a radio interview (Listen HERE), in which Heidi nails Lauren as a “lowlife” while Spencer laughs at her fashion line endeavors. Like, meow. Lauren needs to take off her headband, pop her claws out and fight back! Or get on her message board and realllllly let it rip.
It was only a matter of time before the BFF’s illegal hijinks got turned into a porno flick, and no, we’re not talking about One Night in Paris. Esteemed thespians Sindee Jennings and Aubrey Addams (there’s something SO sexy about how those names are misspelled!) will star in Paris and Nicole Go to Jail, which follows the two locked-up LA brats as they discover “that life is different on the inside, and at first have trouble adapting, but soon learn how to get things in prison by becoming friendly with the warden, the guards, the inmates.”
“Friendly.” We get it. Sounds sextastic! May we suggest a claustrauphobia-fueled Paris panic attack that can only be cured by a threesome? We’re sure those crusty old dudes who nominate films for the Academy Awards will love the raw honesty of such a scene. We smell a winner – or maybe it’s just all that baby oil. [TMZ. All Images: Getty]
Find out what Paris and Nicole have really been up to this summer by clicking the pics below.
Nick and Vanessa’s X-Rated Jacuzzi Jaunt
Kim Kardashian: Freaky In The Bedroom?
Hottest Make Out Scenes
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Play our Paris in Prison Game
Are there second acts in American life? Check our celebreality world, and you’ll find the answer’s yes. Rejuvenation is the idea behind Mission: Man Band, where four former boy band singers connect to see if they can reclaim the spotlight. It debuted last night. And it made some of us misty-eyed. Really.
Mission: Man Band isn’t your usual Celebreality freakshow. Instead it’s the story of four guys who went from almost instantaneous mega-popularity to pop-culture footnotes, world-beaters to underdogs. The show finds them trying to restart their careers in spite of overwhelming odds. They’re not obnoxious. They’re not prone to nudity. They are struggling. You should get to know them.
Ashlee and Pete Snag Sexy Swag
The couple walked out of the Lollapalooza gift suite with pockets full of goodies, but refused to take photos with any of the items, in particular the KY Intimacy kit. Get kinky for the camera, guys! [NY Daily News]
Pics: Brit’s Latest Car Accident Drama
Brit caused slight damage to another car in a parking lot fender bender. But what’s more troubling about the sitch is her child-like sad face and the stains on the back of her dress. Maybe Sean should drive? [X17]
Lohan Parents’ Divorce Showdown
These two can’t stop creating drama and just won’t shut up about the other – today dad Michael’s complaining about Dina’s new boyfriend. Could Lindsay be more mature than her parents? [NY Post]
Here’s what Scott’s face looks like when he’s confronted with kids:
Stone. Cold. Fear.
Apparently the LA City Attorney’s office is trying to decide whether or not to prosecute Brandy on charges of manslaughter stemming from the car accident last winter that left one person dead. A source tells TMZ that there was a “conflict” over charges of manslaughter being brought against the singer. Prosecutors are supposedly waiting on data that will measure the speed of Brandy’s vehicle on impact, which will show if she tried to brake before hitting the car in front of her. The singer is currently being sued by the accident victim’s family.
Let this be a lesson to the Lindsay Lohans of the world! Drive safely people. Not even celebrity can get you off the hook in these crappy situations. Just ask Paris. [TMZ / Image: Getty]
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– Is Pam Anderson dating a gay man? Given that she looks like a jaundiced drag queen on a good day, it’s more than possible. [Dlisted]
- Usher‘s fragrance debuts. It contains notes of diapers, old lady and leather whips. But mostly diapers. [Crunk + Disorderly]
- Why the hell does Janet Jackson have a different body every time you see her? Maybe there are many Janets populating the world to confuse us. Michael, is that you under that weave? [CONCRETELOOP]
- Tobey Maguire dons spandex for a bike ride. Clearly, he’s having a hard time letting Spider-Man go. [A Socialite's Life]
- Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards‘ custody battle is turning ugly. It’s a shame when stuff like that happens to people who are aging so gracefully. [Yeeeah!]
Hot Shots: Cool Pics From Celebville
Hear that? It’s the sound of Britney fans breathing a tiny sigh of relief that their pop star has not totally gone off the deep end. Granted she’s still close, but the singer has finally done one smart thing after a summer full of lawyer letters, illegal Vegas trips, meltdowns, ex-assistants, babies with rotten teeth and extensions, extensions, extensions. Britney has hired a manager! And no, it’s not some guy she found down at her local Hooters – the girl’s gone and picked up Jeff Kwatinez, the guy recently fired by Kelly Clarkson. Well played! We’re not sure where this little zap of brain juice has come from, but we like it. Keep it up Brit! Just get those nipple slips under control and you’re on your way to Comeback City! [TMZ / Image: Getty]
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