Nicole: Not Your Average Crackhead

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Nicole2 Nicole Richie tells all in a revealing interview in the upcoming issue of Nylon, and she doesn’t hold anything back. She opens right up about that nasty heroin habit that landed her in rehab at the start of The Simple Life‘s first season. "When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes." Funny how she sure is barefoot a lot these days. And all skinny, like a crackhead. No connection, I’m sure.

The starlet also gets pretty defensive about that bone-thin reputation, saying, "I’ve never gone a day without putting food in my mouth. I’ve never sewn my mouth shut. I’ve never gone on a liquid diet. So I want to know why I’m the face for a problem."

Gum doesn’t count as food, Nicole! And only drinking vodka tonics is a liquid diet. Also – who the eff has sewn their mouth shut, besides a puppet? Now you’re just talkin’ crazy. Like…A crackhead?

Clay: Not Gay, But Pretty Close

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If you’re going to deny that you’re gay, you might want to do a little bit better of a job keeping tidbits like this from the NY Daily News out of the gossip rags:

"Clay Aiken
and a bevy of male chorus dancers partied into the wee hours at Cain nightclub over the weekend. The group was celebrating the forthcoming Off-Broadway show, "Idol:
The Musical" which is all about Clay and his "Claymates," the fans who
love him. The guaranteed-to-be-a-classic show begins previews July 5. Spies say the group ordered multiple bottles of Snow Queen vodka and poured into cabs together after a long night."

A bevy of male dancers? Snow Queen vodka? At least show up with a couple of lady groupies and guzzle some beer, Clay. Otherwise your Claymates are gonna freak, and we know that’s never pretty.

For Those About to Barack, We Salute You

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Obama
When it comes to marketing, presidential hopeful Barack Obama is one smart guy. The Democratic candidate called into Hot 97 and spoke to Angie Martinez. "I’m old-school and generally I’m more of a jazz guy," he told her. "But having said that, I’m current enough that on my iPod I got a little bit of Jay-Z, a little bit of Beyonce. A little bit. I don’t want to pretend I know as much as my [children]. I’m falling behind rapidly." He’s not falling behind in the multimedia wars, though. Hillary Clinton’s Sopranos video might have gone viral, but does she offer you club-ready ringtones? Obama does. And he’s kicking Hillary’s ass on MySpace, too — 124,225 friends (including Jin!) to 105,420. Go, Obama. Maybe this time, the kids will actually, you know, vote or something. On the other hand, there’s some muttering about how politicians who appear on the cover of Men’s Vogue are missing their cojones (does Anna Wintour keep them in a jar on her desk?). That can’t be good.

Brittany Murphy: Stalked by Mystery Man?

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Brittany
Hollywood was all atwitter recently after the Clueless and Sin City star secretly married producer Simon Monjack. Insiders were buzzing that the Brit supposedly wed Murphy (only 8 months after she ended a previous engagement) to avoid deportation after his work visa expired, something the actress later called "preposterous lies."

Now a source who supposedly worked for the starlet has come forward to reveal that she seems to think she and her man are being stalked by "a high-powered Hollywood player." Murphy supposedly claimed that when Monjack slipped away without a trace for 10 days in April, that her then-boyfriend was kidnapped by associates of this mysterious stalker. The spy goes on to say that Monjack returned with "head injuries," and that Brittany was not able to pay him his salary as she claimed to have spent all her money on paying the kidnapper’s ransom.

As if this wasn’t crazy enough, the dates her husband was missing apparently match the dates that Monjack was detained by US Immigration officials for overstaying his visa, according to The National Enquirer. Soon after this bizarre incident, the pair were spotted in wedding rings.

Someone needs to make this into a movie immediately. Brittany can star. Think of it as Uptown Girls meets Girl, Interrupted  – with a twist. The twist being that she and her husband are nuts.

Reunion News: Spice, Zep and Bush

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Spicey

Reunion You Want: Admit it — you’ll pony up the $60 (plus surcharge) to see Baby, Scary, Sporty, Posh and Ginger zigazig ha, transporting you back to those heady pre-Y2K days. Lucky for us Sporty cleared her calendar.

Reunion You Want But Don’t Get: Led Zeppelin. After days of rumors reporting they’re getting the old band back together, Rock Banshee Robert Plant has rubbished rumors, claiming "If there was one, then there wouldn’t be enough doctors to support it!”

Reunion You Don’t Want But Get: Bush. You know, Gavin Rossdale. He was in a band. Still nothing? Gwen Stefani‘s husband. Anyway, he misses "the band thing." He’s threatening a Live Earth reunion.

Thursday: Usher’s Gonna Be a Daddy; Nicky’s Sick of Paris’ Drama

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Yeah! Usher’s Gonna Be a Dad
Usher
and his fiance (and former stylist) are expecting their first child
together. Expect an adorable, tiny dancing machine in about nine
months. [People]

P*ssed Paris to Sue Lawyer?
She may have told Larry King that her jail stint "happened for a reason," but Paris is raging mad that her lawyer didn’t do a better job of keeping her out of the slammer. [MSNBC]

Brit Bails on Secret Show
The starlet’s comeback won’t be happening at Cyndi Lauper’s LA show, because according to a unnamed source, "Britney said she would only dance or lip-sync – and to be on stage with Cyndi, you have to actually perform." Ouch – an anonymous zing! [NY Post]

Read more…

Paris Talks God, ADD and Strip Searches

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Tonight was Paris’ time to shine in her one hour interview with CNN’s Larry King. And oh the marvelous things we learned! For example, "God makes everything happen for a reason." Like her brand new mustard colored extensions, for starters. It sure is a good thing we now know WHY there is ugliness living on top her head.

We break down all the deets on Paris and Larry’s chat-fest – after the jump!

Read more…

All Bets Are On Paris

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The world is bracing for Paris Hilton’s first televised appearance after serving a 23-day stint in the clink. She will be interviewed on Lary King Live and Bodog, one of the most notorious gambling sites on the Web, is taking wagers on what subjects the heiress will discuss.

Odds are as follows:

1. Will Paris Hilton discuss finding God while in prison during her first post-prison interview on Larry King Live?
Yes -840
No +450

2. Will Paris Hilton discuss her mental health issues while in prison during her first post-prison interview on Larry King Live?
Yes -500
No +300

3. Will Paris Hilton wear an orange outfit during her first post-prison interview on Larry King Live?

Yes +800

If you’re interested, you can also wager on whether or not Paris will be a guest host on the The View during 2007.

I’ll put my money on #2. What about you?

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News_20x9Play Our Paris in Prison Game!

Britney Desperate to Reconcile with K-Fed

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Britney Spears is supposedly trying to get back together with K-Fed, who is said to be worried that Brit is unstable. It doesn’t take a genius to see that she’s a mess – just wanting to get within 100 feet of that guy is crazy enough. Brit apparently told Kevin recently, "I’m not divorcing you! I want my family back!"

Okay. What else are we supposed to say? All she does all day long is act like an escaped mental patient: dyeing her own hair, letting her nipples hang out everywhere, and wearing unbearable tacky outfits borrowed from a nineties girl pop group. So if she wants to get back together with her man, then best of luck to her. Do it up Britney. Go nuts! Get your family back, and while you’re at it, how about getting some dignity back too, girlfriend.

Lindsay’s Dad is an Idiot

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The Loh-sanity continues on this week, with Lindsay’s dad desperately fighting to see his kids – but in the most stupid of ways. Check out this statement Michael Lohan issued to the press recently:

"I look forward to order being restored to the chaos that our family life has become.  Lyndsay,
Michael, Ali and Cody need stability and both of their parents in their
lives. I am anxious to spend time with them and end this cruel,
needless separation."

— Michael Lohan

It’s not like he really has to do much here. Just know how to spell your (oldest, most super famous) kid’s name right! Here are some other names he probably calls Lyndsay Lindsay:

  • My devilish ex-wife’s older sister
  • The Checkbook
  • My ticket to hanging out with Paris Hilton
  • That chick in that Mean Girls movie who looks so much like that pain in the ass kid of mine
  • Lindsie