By Guest Blogger Britney J. Spears
Take that, ya’ll! All you people said that just because I have stains on my shirt and eat Taco Bell for every meal and wear the same boots every day that my career was over, but guess what, it ain’t! Ha! My new album is at the top of the charts this week because I am sexy and awesome. I’ve sold 325,000 copies so far. That’s like, a big city of people! That’s probably as many people as in New York, or Disney World, or China! I am awesome! So awesome that I can park in handicapped parking, ya’ll! And it’s not because my acne counts as a handicap (even thought it should), it’s because I park where I feel like, and I don’t care I’m screwing someone who can’t walk out of a parking spot. I’m Britney, you handicapped b*tches!
Next time ya’ll feel like dissin’ me, just remember who is selling a butt load of albums without doing any promotional work for it whatsoever. No tour, no photoshoots, no nothing! I’ll I gotta do is hawk some perform and mess up my kids and you people fawn all over me freaking out. The joke is on you! Oh – that would make a really good album name. I gotta write that in my dream journal. Now if you’ll excuse me, my Hot Pockets are ready and I think I hear my dog barking. Oh – that’s Sean Preston. Oops.
Only a handful of performers exist in the hallowed first-name-only hall of fame, but Colombian bombshell Shakira proves her status in this exclusive clip from her upcoming Oral Fixation Tour DVD, out on November 13th. Find out which beloved hit Shakira powerfully performs. Get your lighters out!
Mary Alice Stephenson, co-host of America’s Most Smartest Model, is a fashion industry insider whose smart looks and smart tongue control her show’s pretty people. Each week we talk with her about issues on the show. This time the subjects are Lisa’s age, V.J.’s sneaky-sneaky behavior, and how science class adds up to big-time revulsion. Interview after the jump.
It doesn’t matter if Audrina, token brunette of The Hills, is talking about going to try to sign a band or the conflict in the Middle East. Everything that comes out of her mouth just sounds like sweet ol’ boringness. It’s a good thing she wears t-shirts as dresses to keep people – Justin Bobby, Hot Guy From Indie Band, Lauren, America – interested!
Below the jump we marvel at Whitney’s (lack of) brain power, Spencer’s gift buying skills, and Audrina and Justin’s matching outfits. Hills heaven awaits!
Everything you need to know about this episode can be gathered from looking at Spin’s face:
If you’re a hard rock fan, you now know that Jimmy Page’s recently fractured finger has pushed back the date of the much buzzed-about Led Zeppelin reunion. Ouch for him and ouch for fans who’d made travel plans to go to London in late November. The show’s current date is December 10, and last night, while accepting a lifetime recognition from the Classic Rock Awards in London, the superstar told reporters how his left pinky was hurt when he stumbled over a stone slab in his garden – at least there wasn’t a bustle in his hedgerow. The ever-popular guitarist’s finger was bandaged. Here’s what he said about the fall in a formal statement last Friday.
Page also mentioned that fans can expect the group to play “a lot of the songs that people really want to hear” at the upcoming show. I wonder which one he’s refering to? If you’d like to suggest some, or WIN TIX TO THE SHOW, make the jump and weigh in.
A few months back, Courtney Love was reportedly planning an auction of deceased husband Kurt Cobain‘s possessions. Now the Widow Love has decided to clean out her own closet before selling her collection of flannel. According to the Lucky magazine blog, Ms. Love is auctioning off almost 150 pieces, with 10% of the proceeds going to L.A. homeless charity Chrysalis. So what can we expect to see from alterna-rock’s answer to Yoko Ono? Here’s what we think Love might be unloading:
47 pairs of ripped stockings
5 lipstick smeared babydoll dresses
Steve Coogan’s pajama bottoms
13 broken barrettes
1 Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt from their 1990 tour
The question is not, “Do you have love for New York?”
…it’s, “Do you have blood for New York?”
Well, do ya?
Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. About Last Night puts you in touch with all the action.
Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Helen Mirren, Robin Wright Penn, Alison Lohman, and Angelina’s creepy brother were all on the red carpet at the Beowulf premiere in LA.
Glamour’s Women of the Year Awards attracted a horde of stars, including Jennifer Connelly, Claire Danes, Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck, Aisha Tyler, Abigail Breslin, Iman, Rashida Jones, Taye Diggs, and Eric Dane.
Jessica Simpson, Mandy Moore, Heidi Klum, Lucy Liu, Kerry Washington, and Helena Christensen attended the 11th Annual ACE Awards in NYC.
You knew she couldn’t stand to be out of the spotlight for more than six months, right? According to people in the know, Rosie O’Donnell is in talks with MSNBC to host her own primetime talk show daily at 9pM, which would pit her against Larry King‘s snoozefest over on CNN and Ro’s BFF Sean Hannity (and Colmes) on Fox. NBC execs tentatively mentioned to the NY Times that “there were many elements of a potential deal yet to be resolved,” but Rosie has made comments recently that kinda make us think the deal is already done in her eyes. She apparently commented in a Miami podcast that she’d soon be going up against “the guy with the suspenders and the long, long face.” That could be like, a hundred dudes, but we’ll just hope she means Larry King!
Even though Rosie just released her book Celebrity Detox and bailed on her View hosting duties early, it’s clear she loves being the center of attention as long as she’s in control. But is the feeling mutual? We love a good Ro rant, but will fans tune in to see her battle the big-shots at night, and more importantly – will you?