Ladies and gentlemen, meet your Sexiest Man of 2007: Matt Damon. I know right? A total travesty. He looks muddled, lost and in need of some serious love from that magical nymph better known as airbrushing. The worst part is, Matt knows it too! It’s as if that pic was snapped right as Matt was uttering “Are you serious, guys?” So let’s take the pressure off our of pal Matt, and offer up some other worthy men who may be willing to take on the cause of being damn sexy in ’07.
Okay maybe this is a stretch seeing as Maddox Jolie-Pitt is only six, but we think he beats out his dad Brad in the sexy category hands down. And no, it’s not cause we’re pedophiles, but because we respect the man who can shut Angelina Jolie up. Mad’s not afraid to use the force – of his tiny hands – to stop the Mother Saint from preaching. Now isn’t that like the sexiest thing a guy can do?
Don’t you miss Midget Mac? Ever since New York gave him the boot on I Love New York 2, things haven’t been the same. His gruff little laugh, buff arms and willingness to tell it like it is – always – is a whole lot more attractive than Mr. Damon and his head full of hair product. Plus he’s genuinely looking for love! We say sexy! Read more…
“I grew up being teased because I have really small arms. I love my arms now. I don’t want big fat arms. I’m a woman, I’m supposed to be nice and dainty,” says the latest of America’s Most Smartest Model‘s booted contestant, Blonde Rachel. And the verbal gems keep rolling. After the jump, Rachel talks about her unceremonious elimination, eating-disorder allegations and the “free porn” she and V.J. provided the camera crew with. Oh yeah, she goes there.
We always enjoy it when actual sentences come out of Heidi Montag‘s mouth, because she spends most of her time on The Hills muttering things like “Yeah!” and “I mean,” and of course “I love Spencer!” All nonsense. But who knew the girl was gonna come forward and reveal that she’s a religious, Bible-reading bookworm who’s like, totally acted in an “old English play?” In an interview in the latest issue of Blender we meet the real Heidi, and if you believe her, Meryl Streep better watch her back. She says:
- She’s a natural actor! “I’ve always been singing. I’ve been dancing since I was 2—hip-hop, jazz, tap, everything. I was a wicked stepsister in Cinderella. I was a fairy in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I was Beatrice in . . . an old English play. Acting, singing, dancing —it’s always been in me.”
- She’s gonna like, totally win one of those statue things. “I also plan to win an Oscar. I’m very ambitious.”
- Her engagement is real, she just hates wearing it because it’s painful and fugly. “I take it off at night because it’s big and I don’t want it getting caught in my hair or scratching my face…”
- She loves Jesus! “I like to read a couple books at once…Right now I’m also reading the Bible, beginning to end. I’m very religious. That’s how I’ve gotten to where I am.”
Ah yes, religion has totally led her to backstab her best friend, fall in love with the devil, and fill her body with plastic so she can pose in various bikinis on a beach. Amen girlfriend!
Movie premieres, awards shows, benefit concerts, and plain old clubbin’ – even though most of us are at home, the beautiful peeps are living it up somewhere. About Last Night puts you in touch with all the action.
A visibly pregnant Christina Aguilera, Kimberly Stewart, Nicole Scherzinger, Christine D’Amore, Adrienne Curry, and Samantha Ronson attended the party for the Nationwide Launch Of Rock The Vote 2008.
Heath Ledger, Julianne Moore, Padma Lakshmi, Adrian Grenier, Elle Macpherson, and model Agness Deyn were on the red carpet at an I’m Not There screening.
Jessica Simpson’s Fake Boyfriends
Apparently her dad is responsible for planting items about Jess and Owen Wilson to help promote her image and album. Cuz everyone loves a girl who dates a charity case! [MSNBC]
Jon Bon Jovi for Governor of Jersey?
The rocker is ready to give politics a bad name. As in Governor Bon Jovi. [NYP]
Pics Prove Jake & Reese’s Love
Sure they’re boring, but they’re also kind of perfect together in that ‘sometimes it’s fun to watch paint dry’ sort of way. [Us]
Angelina Jolie the Journalist
The actress is penning a piece for The Economist, which we hope is about how making babies with Brad Pitt will change the world. [Us]
Britney Heads Back to Court
Here’s a tip Brit – have one of your babies drive and you won’t end up back in court every couple of days. [TMZ]
When Pepa takes control and plans a benefit appearance, does she end up driving Salt to laughter or crazy? Only Salt’s shrink knows for sure!
Natalie Portman Pics
It’s not often that beautiful actors combine mercury-boiling hotness with smarts, but we’ve found our dream girl in Natalie Portman. She burst onto the scene by starring in The Professional at the tender age of 13, then kept her head on her shoulders long enough to earn a college degree — from Harvard, no less. This week’s Hottie has been lauded by mainstream critics as the next Audrey Hepburn while keeping the respect of the ever-important indie dork contingent by playing both Queen Amidala in Star Wars and Zach Braff’s love interest in Garden State. And though Portman’s new flick, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, is decidedly more PG-13 than her recent bottom-baring turn in Hotel Chevalier (the short-film prequel to Wes Anderson’s The Darjeeling Limited), we’re still happy to crown her Hottie of the Week.
Natalie Portman Actor Info
Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium Trailer
Hey President Bush – we have a nomination for the Supreme Court or Attorney General or the House of Smarties (we know you have one dude, come on). It’s America’s
sweet-heart sweet-ho, Kim Kardashian. As we’re sure you know, the second half of a sex tape featuring Kim and singer/Brandy brother Ray J is about to be released, and last week a voicemail message left for Ray J from his former lover was released. In it, Kim is pissed off to the extreme and even ends the thing in a bizarre, ‘I’m about to get murdered’ scream. Amazing.
Turns out, the voicemail is allegedly a fake – staged! – by Ray J and the Dashster. You could kind of tell by the way Kim uses her bedroom voice to tell him over and over how “disgusting” and “desperate” he is. But still, how smart is Kim?! This bag-o-brains is solely responsible for her leap onto the D List. Have you ever seen anyone maneuver a “career” so expertly? Give her five years and she’ll really be on the rise, dating Corey Haim and winning Dancing With the Stars. If you don’t believe us that she’s on her way, think again – her reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians just got picked up for a second season. More drunk driving, stripper shoes and underage pole dancing – hurray!
Kim and Britney Talk Nonsense
Hottie of the Week: Kim Kardashian
- Tila Tequila reveals that she would like to have sex with Lindsay Lohan and help her out in life. She seems to realize the two are mutually exclusive – Tila’s smarter than I thought. [Jezebel]
- Alicia Keys‘ MySpace was hacked. If we’re lucky, next time, they’ll hack her personality. [SOULBOUNCE]
- Heidi Klum says that Britney Spears taught her a lot about diapers. Their next lesson? Baby Powder 101. [Dlisted]
- Janice Dickinson gets tortured on UK TV. Looks like karma’s an even bigger bitch than she is. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
- Sharon Stone shows off some camel toe. Consider this another sequel to Basic Instinct. [CityRag]
Surely Justin Bobby had something thoughtful to say about all the drama between Lauren and Heidi on this week’s episode of The Hills…
…But he was too busy getting hammered on his date with Audrina and busting out some celebratory burps to care. By the way, that tattoo of a pair of scissors on his arm just reminded us that JB is not a grunge model or a professional motorcycle seat warmer, but a hairdresser. Interesting that he felt the need to express his passion for hair fashion on his arm but not on his head.
Under the jump – forgiving and forgetting at its best!