- A male model claims he had a fling with Larry Birkhead. Unlike his alleged lover, the model loves to be the one that told you this. [Towleroad]
- Ryan Gosling brings his mom to a premiere instead of Rachel McAdams. If you need any help fueling those breakup rumors, Ry, I have a bottle of lighter fluid with your name on it. [Just Jared]
- Beyoncé is being sued over her remake of a Des’ree song. What should be a matter of quality is actually one of copyright. Go figure. [CONCRETELOOP]
- Timbaland poses with Trina and it looks like he might take a bite out of her. Being devoured by greatness would probably be good for her career. [Crunk + Disorderly]
- Cameron Diaz neglects her bra. The world neglects arousal. [Egotastic!]
- Because it only makes total sense, Bono and Edge have maybe been tapped to write the lyrics and music for the upcoming Spider-Man musical. Here’s your competition, Wayne Coyne.
- The New York Times is reporting that Wang Chung and Twisted Sister are re-recording their hits. Not surprisingly, it’s a business deal. Hopefully this fad will catch on and we’ll be able to hear all-new old stuff by Tiffany. Wait. That already happened.
- Marilyn Manson’s first song from his new record is available for the listening on his MySpace page. It’s called “If I Was Your Vampire,” and there’s very little doubt anywhere that the song’s addressed to his teenage squeeze, Evan Rachel Wood.
- Speaking of new songs, Radiohead have posted a clip of a song that may or may not make their upcoming album. Hey, fans, time to obsess!
- Finally, and perhaps most excitingly, Floria Sigismondi, director of gorgeous music videos (Bowie, the White Stripes, Marilyn Manson), has been tapped to write and direct Neon Angels, a biopic about the Runaways. Floria and Joan Jett — what a team!
Chappelle Destroys Dane Cook
The comic shattered his Laugh Factory endurance record by performing standup for an insanely long time: six hours, seven minutes. I’m Wayne Brady b*tch! [MSN]
Kim Kardashian Gets Low With Reggie Bush
Rumor has it, the sex kitten is teaching the football star some moves off the field. [Star]
Buy Paris Hilton’s Hamper on eBay
It’s in excellent condition…No DNA found inside, but maybe you have a better investigator! [eBay]
In a recent interview with Allure, Lindsay Lohan painted herself to be the great protector in her circle of friends and family. "When my friends and family are around me I feel like they’re safe," says Linds. "When my friends have left me – I’ve just seen everything collapse. They’re not safe without me."
Lindsay Lohan’s super strength is no surprise considering how stable a person she has proven herself to be repeatedly in public. But did you know that she has several other super powers? These include X-ray vision (so that Lindsay can peer into the ladies’ room to see who’s holding), teleportation (to swiftly get in and out of said bathroom), bionic body parts (especially the liver!), the ability to leap buildings in a single bound (she gets high) and, of course, the magical firecrotch (to ward off…well, everybody). True story! [New York Post]
Today, Suri Cruise turns 1. So far, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have not announced any sort of party for their daughter (though if something does go down, Suri, you’re best off avoiding Patrón). But that doesn’t mean that we can’t celebrate. So, Suri, from us (and a few of your peers) to you, here’s a special birthday greeting:
Last night’s theme was country music, with Martina McBride mentoring the silly seven. Hard to say who’s getting heaved this evening. Phil Stacey has been hovering around the bottom for the past three weeks, so I thought he’d get the boot, but the dude really nailed his Keith Urban cover. Of course, Americans were raised to distrust Lex Luther. And many of us are probably offended by walking penises. Phil looks like both, and that might be hurting his chances for remaining another week. Hasn’t he learned anything from Sanjaya? Hair is important!
And then there’s Sanj himself. You’ve got to hand it to him for being self-aware with his song choice, Bonnie Raitt’s "Something to Talk About." But you also have to hand it to Simon for calling him out on not having any talent, rather than just politely smiling and saying stuff like, "You do you, dawg."
Timbaland and Jay-Z are back together again. Unfortunately, they’re laying on the cutting-room floor.
Evidently, the dream duo that put together insta-classics like "Big Pimpin’" and "Hola’ Hovito" united in the studio during the sessions for Timba’s new Shock Value and dropped "Laff At ‘Em," a hella hot remix of Timba’s current smash hit "Give It to Me" that didn’t make it on to the record. You can listen to it here. I did. Then I listened again. And again. And again …
Oh yeah, I almost forgot … Justin Timberlake kicks the chorus. Try not listening now.
In other news, Timba’s going to hit the studio for the new Mario … blah, blah, blah … Just go Laff at ‘Em, son.
- Toby Maguire and Kirsten Dunst look unhappy at Spider-Man 3 premiere. My after-three-movies-I- can-no-longer-stand-the-sight-of-you sense is tingling. [Dlisted]
- Jessica Simpson‘s breast is dying to get out. Of course it is. It can’t wait to give her career mouth-to-nipple. [Egotastic!]
- Forrest Whitaker‘s Hollywood star shines. In his eye, no doubt. [Crunk + Disorderly]
- A tongue-in-cheek action figure of Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse character is released. Now in addition to ignoring the movie, America can ignore the merchandise, too! [Best Week Ever]
- Tyra Banks, Beyoncé, Kimora Lee and model Jessica White take in the Knicks. They are the 21st century’s synthetic answer to the Hair Bear Bunch. Help! [CONCRETELOOP]
Halle Berry has revealed that she has sought refuge from the burdens of fame in the virtual security blanket that is the Internet. "I have gone online before in search of anonymity and an attempt to leave celebrity out of it and just have a normal chat," says the actress who’s dabbled in chat rooms. After the jump, we hypothesize how one of these chat sessions might have gone down.