Paging Dr. Cole



If you thought Keyshia Cole wanted to be a singer when she grew up, think again. The maiden of melismatic melodrama tells Sister 2 Sister‘s Jamie Foster Brown that she has her sights set on “getting married and having kids and becoming a veterinarian.” How’s that for abrupt and…uh, weird? “If it be the Lord’s will, I will have enough money to open up a veterinary hospital. Then I could just hire doctors to come in and I could go to school,” says Keyshia, who clearly has thought about this a lot. But when will she learn the ins and outs of animals? Why, on her tour bus, of course!

Later, Jamie asks Key what will happen in the event of necessary euthanasia. Here’s what Keyshia says:

I won’t do that part. I’ll call somebody else in for that. I can’t hurt them. Somebody else just gonna have to do that part. I’ll do surgeries and stuff to save their life, but that’s not hurting them.

Clearly, the girl has a little more studying to do before we can start referring to her as “Doctor.”

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Kanye West Feuds With MTV


ye.jpgIt’s Tuesday, meaning Kanye West must have run his mouth again. This time, though, Ye’s pissed off on the Pantyless One’s behalf, too. Speaking on New York radio station Z100, West — whose album Graduation drops today — criticized MTV’s treatment of artists, critiquing Britney‘s much maligned comeback performance from Sunday evening: “When Britney was opening [the VMA telecast], near the end, I felt so bad for her. I said, ‘Man, it’s a dirty game. This game will chew you up and spit you out.’” No word on whether the network was plying the pop tart with margaritas and enforcing a no underwear policy. Kanye then went on to discuss how MTV betrayed him, encouraging him to perform in a suite when he should have been on the main stage of the 2007 VMAs. “It was my dream when I made ‘Stronger’ to open up the VMAs with a real power performance,” West said, bemoaning his performance, which is demonstrative of a larger issue: don’t write songs with dreams of award shows dancing in your head. It will only end in tragedy.
For more of Kanye’s greatest disses, feuds and brags, go here.

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Crazy Courtney Love Gives Kids Drugs


courtneylove150×225.jpgOops! Maybe Courtney Love didn’t know Jack Osbourne was only fifteen years old when she gave him OxyContin for the first time. Still that excuse ain’t gonna fly with his mama Sharon, who fumed:

“I will never have time for Courtney Love. She was the first person to give my son Jack the prescription drug OxyContin. There’s not a shadow of doubt in my mind about that. My dislike towards her is very personal. I’m not saying Jack wouldn’t have taken it if she hadn’t given it to him, but I’m appalled that an adult mother would give that to a 15-year-old boy. How could she do that to someone else’s child? I haven’t had a row with her, but I will never talk to her.”

Ouch. Well kiddies, now you know where to go to get the goods – just look for the crazy lady dressed like a psychedelic clown. Check out the pics below for more of Courtney’s cracked out style from last night’s Marc Jacobs fashion show in NYC [DListed. Images: Getty]

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Brit Chugged Booze Instead of Rehearsing


britneyspears_vmas.jpgNow we know why Brit was stumbling around during her Sunday night VMAs performance – her body wasn’t used to doing the dance steps without a liter of frozen margaritas inside of it. Word is out that Brit was uber-late to her rehearsals in Vegas, and skipped being on time in favor of downing the frozen drink in her hotel room. When she finally made it to her rehearsal over three hours late, she came with an alcoholic bevy in hand. A source said, “She didn’t even get to Las Vegas until 4:30 p.m. It was ridiculous . . . The production people at MTV were freaking out . . . Nobody can tell Britney what to do anymore. No one can control her. She is a mess.”

For more Britastic disasters, tune into VH1 tonight for All Access: Britney’s Most Shocking Year Ever. This new special will take you through the pop tart’s transformation from hot single mama to the bald and boozey flasher she has become in less than twelve months. If you’ve been longing to see Brit attack the paps with her umbrella or ruin her mane with some shaving shears, VH1 has got you covered – tonight at 8:30 PM!

[NYP. Image: Getty]

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Kanye vs Kevlar King: Fiddy Got a Future?


Kanye West & 5o CentChances are good we’ll be seeing 50 Cent in a group situation from now on. Today begins the retail race between the Kevlar kingpin and his Soundscan nemesis, Kanye West. By now you know about the challenge. Fiddy says he’ll retire from being a solo artist if West’s Graduation outsells Mr. Cent’s Curtis in the next seven days. Whose fans are willing to pony up? Which CD is more fun to listen to? We smell rap’s second biggest money-maker looking at a future of passing the mic if he lives up to his promise. Weigh in below.

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Tuesday: Justin’s Dinner Threesome, Jessica Does the Walk of Shame


jessicasimpson0911.jpgBrangelina’s Super Spoiled Babies
Little Maddox has started kindergarten at a posh NYC school, where he only speaks French and eats gourmet lunches. Oh la (b)la(gh). [TMZ]

JT Celebrates VMAs with Two Ladies
The award-winning hottie skipped the VMA after parties to dine with his mom and girlfriend Jessica Biel. Sigh. He woulda been a good influence on Britney. [People]

Lindsay Loves Her Dad Again
The pair’s reconciliation continues at her Utah rehab, where they picked roses and hugged for the cameras. Who knew the paparazzi would be a part of the healing? [X17]

Mary-Kate Olsen Grows Up on TV
Check out this video of the twin’s most recent televised role – as a God-loving pothead on the hit show Weeds. Wanna see her smoke joints and make out on camera? You got it dude! [Just Jared]

Jessica: Desperate for More Mayer
The sad divorcee was spotted leaving John Mayer’s apartment building yesterday morning. Her body may not be a wonderland, but it’s good enough for a one night stand. [Gawker]

Boys to Men — Mission: Man Band Episodes 6 & 7 Recap


Mission: Man Band
Hold your applause: Despite clever editing meant to heighten suspense and to lead you to believe that they were going to crash and burn, Sureshot‘s performance at Mansion was an unmitigated success. (Sidebar: Mansion is a Miami club that was the site of a mini Britney Spears meltdown in May — not that a Britney meltdown is that rare an animal.) The men, our putative band of brothers, came together for a rousing show, and they looked good. As Bryan said, they were taking their style cues from the Rat Pack. The audience dug it. Groovy.

Read more…

Rock on TV – The Shortlist


Perez HiltonJonesing for music on your television set? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1’s Rock on TV schedule daily.

Biography: Simon Cowell, 9 a.m. (EST), The Biography Channel: Just because British people can say things like “pish-posh” without being clowny doesn’t mean they’ve got critical opinions sharper than Ginsu knives and standards higher than the CNN Tower. But Simon Cowell isn’t most British people. If you’re the masochistic type of pop-culture junkie, this documentary about the king of the *ssholes ought to be right up your alley. And that it’s on at 9 a.m. is doubly exciting! You can be super irritated before breakfast!

What Perez Says About the VMAs, 9 p.m. (EST), VH1: The Internet’s Gossip Gangster comes to our fair network tonight, bringing his green-haired commentary to the state of music’s latest award-winners. This is the first of a series of specials starring Hilton, in which he’ll attack . . . er, bring his insider knowledge and expertise to bear on a variety of subjects that are all celebrity related. The self-proclaimed Queen of All Media is the snarky sort. What Perez Says . . . will include lots of interviews, which proves that celebs are tougher than people give them credit for. Can’t wait to hear him talk about that Britney Spears performance. Our ears are burning already.

The Pick Up Artist Recap: Episode 6


Go Joe!

He may have once lived in his parents’ basement, had only virtual friends and had his last sober kiss between the ages of 13 and 15, but things are looking up for Joe. By demonstrating himself to be an excellent listener and snagging the reward challenge, Joe was completely at home in sets, even if he didn’t manage to get any real action. Plus, the man knows sexy boy shorts when he sees them, which is reason enough to name him our Pick Up Artist of the Week. Read more…

Salt-N-Pepa’s Here!



Below, catch an exclusive preview of the VH1′s upcoming Celebreality series, The Salt-N-Pepa Show. All the mystery that surrounded Salt-N-Pepa‘s break-up will be answered in the show, which finds the pair reuniting and attempting to mend their severed friendship. Here’s a blurb from the official press release on the obstacles they face:

Salt is angry about being unappreciated when they were together and Pepa blames Salt for breaking up the group. Their lifestyles are also polar opposites: Salt has indeed found God and is living a quiet life in Long Island with her husband while Pepa is still the party girl and desperately wants to re-capture the glamour of Salt-N-Pepa’s glory days. Can they overcome their differences long enough to heal their friendship and perform again?

The clip below comes from their first episode and features the tense reunion between Salt and Pepa that takes place:

The Salt-N-Pepa Show premieres Monday, Oct. 15 at 10/9c on VH1.