Friday: Angelina’s Bony Bod; Nicole Scheming to Dodge Jail

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Angie
Lindsay Lawsuit: She Was Buzzed

The owner of the van hit by Lilo is accusing the rehabbing starlet of chugging a few cocktails at the Ivy before crashing into his car with her Mercedes. [E Online]

Brit’s Mom Befriends K-Fed’s Ex
It’s rumored that Lynne Spears’ budding friendship with Kevin’s ex Shar Jackson sent Britney over the edge, resulting in her severing the family ties. [Us Magazine]

Angelina: Stress Makes Me Skinny
The super thin super-mom says the stress of her own mother’s death in January is the cause of her drastic weight loss. [Us Magazine]

Read more…

You Respond, We Respond

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We love the comments that we receive on this blog. A lot. They are colorful, emotional and they sometimes even mark new innovations in the field of phraseology. Since they entertain us so, we thought it would be nice to celebrate some of our favorites with a weekly post spotlighting them. This also gives us a chance to respond and that’s what the VH1 Blog is all about: leaving no keen insight behind.

From Rock of Love: First Look:

cutie-pie for sure Says: "yall is just trying to be like flave wit yall retared buts yall is some haters but i am going to see wat the show is about."

We say: Your resistance breaks down right before our eyes, cutie-pie for sure. You’ll be rocking a bandana and whistling "Unskinny Bop" in no time. Whether or not you want to admit it, you are Bret Michaels’ future biggest fan. We can tell just from your writing.

From Kim To Become Kardashi-cat:

Suck iT Says: "I’ve seen that girl naked and I think Its a great Idea. Now the Pussycat Dolls should make a tape TOGETHER?"

We say: Great idea! Even better idea? A recap of the orgy you imply. We can’t wait to grab those asses screen shots. Let’s all pray that it happens.

From K-Fed Can’t Stop Makin’ Babies:

sexy tee Says: "kevin is a man and a man is going to hit whatever is thrown at him…"

We say: That kind of makes emphasizing your sexiness pointless, eh, tee?

From Angelina or the Egg?

Toshia Says: "I THINK YOU SHOULD PULL THIS STORY BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOUR WRITERS ARE A BUNCH OF IDIOTS WHO CAN’T GET IT UP SO THEY HAVE TO PREY AND FOCUS ONE SOMEONE WHO IS DOING GOING FOR HERSELF AND OTHERS. GET A LIFE AND GET OVER THE FACT THAT SHE DIDN’T WANT YOUR AZZ THERE. ANGELINA I ADMIRE YOUR SPIRIT. NOTE TO THE WISE VH1: GOD DO NOT LIKE WHEN YOU MESS WITH HIS ANGELS!!!! ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT WHEN YOU ARE WRITING STORIES LIKE THIS!

BURN IN HELL VH1 OR WHOMEVER APPROVED THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We say: Given that death sentence we can assume that you aren’t one of God’s angels, Toshia? Are you one of Charlie’s, even? Anyway the "angels" comment is irrelevant because Angelina Jolie isn’t an angel. She’s a saint. Duh.

From Charm School Recap – Episode 8 – Brooke Breaks:

It’s Me B*#$%&@!!!!!!!!! Says: " The show is wayyyyy more boring without Larissa. Boo!!"

We say: Shut up, Larissa.

Paris: A Con’s Best Friend

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While thousands of people have apparently let LA County know how p*ssed off they are about that whole "Paris probably got special treatment because she has buttloads of money" thing, the starlet is still making some new fans: her fellow inmates. Her BFFs behind bars are reportedly thrilled that the heiress is back at the Lynwood jail, because the special treatment extends to them. One recently released inmate said, "Since she was here last week, they started giving us double bologna,
double apple juices. Two blankets instead of one – and a sheet, too!
Everyone has cookies coming out of their pockets."

Wow. This lady makes jail sound fun! Double baloney? That’s a party for most people! Why can’t Paris just suck it up and enjoy herself?

Find out who got Paris booted, who’s got her back and what a psychic thinks – after the jump!

Read more…

Oh No They Didn’t: Friday’s Review Rage

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Every week we round up selections from the funniest, most obscene and brutal film criticism out there so that you know not to blow your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: The unnecessarily boring, please-help-these-actors-afford-a-summer-home, CGI-stylings of Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer.

"The Drab Four: When the bad guy’s a surfer dude, you know it’s a wipeout." – The New York Post

"A plotless, witless, brainless bore . . . [it] kills your spirit and all hope for summer movies." – Rolling Stone

"Drearier than corn dying in the Iowa sun, slower than molasses in Antarctica. Sentient humans should stay away; all others may enter confident that their IQs are already in the Chernobyl-fried range and will not be affected, except for downward." – The Washington Post

Read more…

Tango’s Tracks: Nas & the Gothy Guyliners

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Dude’s got a collection of almost 700 fitted caps. He wears each of ‘em to the side, and that deliberate angle tells you something about his swagger. Tango’s got a reason to walk tall. After winning his lady’s heart on VH1′s I Love New York, the aspiring rapper has got a little fire burning under him. The buzz has started. We caught up with him to talk music. It’s not shocking that a young MC is knocked out Nas, but when he started throwing guyliner bands and The Fray at us, we knew Tango was unique. Find out what other artists made his list.

Blog Best-Of: Megan’s Marks

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Megan_links- Megan Fox shows off her tattoos, including one of poetry that she wrote herself. Isn’t that a little too literate for Hollywood? [CityRag]

- Jessica Alba is said to have had a hand in getting Paris Hilton dropped from her agency. An invisible hand. [Dlisted]

- Pam Anderson says that she thinks "40 is the new 20." Whatever you have to tell yourself to get through life, Pammy. [Hollywood Rag]

- Britney Spears wears two all-white outfits in one day. Who’s she kidding? She’s not that innocent. [Just Jared]

[Image: Getty]

Beyoncé Puts On a Show For Hova

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Check out these pictures of Beyoncé workin’ her dance moves while on vacation in Southern France with her main man Jay-Z. You can’t see if she’s wearing her rumored engagement ring,
but they still look totally into each other.
If you ignore her strange, unflattering, high-waisted bikini pants suit and the fact that they’re on a yacht the size of a cruise ship, they could really be any ol’ adorably playful couple. Crazy in love and crazy rich (while wearing crazy outfits) – that’s gotta be a great life.

More Kelly Clarkson Drama: Tour Canceled

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Just yesterday we reported that the original American Idol had fired her longtime manager as a result of her alleged fall-out with label head Clive Davis over her upcoming album My December. This afternoon, word has come via Kelly’s website that her upcoming summer tour has been canceled!

Kelly wrote on her site that, "The fact is that touring is just too much too soon," but a statement released by her representatives gives the darker details: "Plans for Kelly Clarkson’s summer tour have been shelved for now as the
singer and her team re-evaluate her show’s size and scope." Ticket sales for her shows were also lower than expected.

Eek. What is happening to our once solid, stable pop star?  Could her album really be that bad? If she starts reaching for the clippers or crashing her car into trees we’ll know she’s in real trouble.

Rock of Love: First Look

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Rock’s about to get a dose of reality…TV. This summer Poison’s Bret Michaels will get his Flav on as the ladies pictured above vie for his attention in the Celebreality elimination-based dating show Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. "We knew women vying to date a rock star would make great entertainment but Bret brought outrageousness and excitement to the show that exceeded our wildest expectations,” said show executive producers Mark Cronin and Cris Abrego. “From motorbike wrecks to Vegas rock concerts, it’s a show where you can’t miss a single moment.”

Get the Jäger shots ready — Rock of Love with Bret Michaels premieres July 15 at 9/8 c on VH1.

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