Every week we round up selections from the funniest, most obscene and brutal film criticism out there so that you don’t waste your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: The Brothers Solomon isn’t exactly the star-making vehicle we’d hoped Kristen Wiig would find for herself. Oh, well. Maybe Walk Hard will be different.
“A stillborn mashup of Dumb & Dumber and Knocked Up.” — The New York Post
“Nothing is harder to overcome as a performer than a comedy going south. Director Bob Odenkirk lets every other exchange dribble on, suffocating on its own dead air and diorama staging.” — The Chicago Tribune
Mary-Kate Frowns for a Reason
The tiny twin hates getting her photo taken, so she rarely smiles. Spoken like a true billionaire brat. [E Online]
Lily Allen Gets Drunk and Booted
The Brit singer got herself kicked out the GQ Men of the Year Awards after getting hammered and blabbing during the show. She sounds seriously fun. [A Socialite's Life]
Brad Claims He and Jen Are Friends
Brad says he and his ex still have a “deep friendship.” Who knew not speaking could make people that close? [People]
Lindsay and Dad Reunite at Rehab
The actress saw her dad for the first time in three years when he visited her at rehab in Utah. Their family therapy session must have been a blast! [X17]
Avril Lavigne Hates Her Haters
The pop-punk princess is still as sassy and annoying as her music, and calls people who hate her “losers.” That routine (and her outfits) is so 2002. [US Weekly]
Jonesing for music on your television set? You’ve come to the right place, rockers! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read our Rock on TV schedule daily.
Fashion Rocks, 9 p.m. (EST), CBS: It doesn’t get much more fabulous than this, folks. Tonight, style leaders and fashion victims alike gather to celebrate the best crossovers between the worlds of clothing and music-making. Scheduled to perform are a whole host of people who embody rock and R&B, bottom-liners who are equally respected for their tough business noses. Expect to see Jennifer Lopez, Mary J. Blige, Usher and Maroon 5. Also expect to see Fergie. Also expect to see some very expensive clothing, and plenty of people aspiring to be Anna Wintour. We doubt they’ll succeed.
Trapped in the Closet, 9 p.m. (EST), IFC: Even R. Kelly couldn’t explain the continuing evolution of his R&B soap. At its premiere, he called the serial “an alien,” which seems appropriate, since aliens are also things that have been both much loved and also much maligned (not to mention terribly lampooned) since their introduction to pop culture. No mind! Here IFC plays the entire hip-hopera, chapters 1-22, so that you can get a handle on all the drama. If you can’t wait, IFC is screening selections from it now on their Web site, too.
Think you know what Bret Michaels wants and needs? Let us know which girl the Poison frontman will cut from the house next and which girls he’ll ask to stay. Watch this week’s Sneak Peek, then make your picks. (Click thumbnails to view full size)
Which of the four remaining ladies has the best chemistry with Bret?
Sam rocked Bret’s world on her way out the door last week. Did you forecast her fall?
Which fallen girl would you like to see Bret invite back into the house?
Episode 9 Sneak Peek
Episode 8 Recap
Celebreality Interview: Sam
Browse ‘Rock of Love’ Photos
‘Rock of Love’ Show Info
Well, well, well – maybe it wasn’t Sienna Miller that tore Diddy and Kim Porter apart after all! The hip hop star’s ex of twelve years has revealed that Diddy is indeed a daddy to a mystery baby in Atlanta. Rumors have circulated for a while that the other woman was pregnant at the same time as Kim, and that Combs paid her a million dollars to keep quiet. Guess Diddy shoulda forked over a couple million more!
Porter admits that the other baby-mamma was part of the reason she ditched Diddy for Los Angeles this summer – and she ain’t coming back. “He’s not ready to get married,” Kim said. “When I get married, I want to stay married. I want both parties to be on the same page at the same time, and to leave a certain type of behavior behind. That’s a commitment I don’t think he’s ready for.”
So what do you think – Diddy do her wrong by cheating and trying to hide it?
Check out pics below of Diddy with his sons at this years White Party in the Hamptons:
[NYDN. Images: Getty]
Diddy’s Ex Reveals: “He’s Cheated”
Sienna and Diddy Do It Up in Ibiza
Diddy & Penelope: St. Tropez Sleepover
Was Sam’s elimination from Rock of Love the reality show equivalent of a mercy killing? Maybe! After the jump, Sam talks about biting off more than she could chew, her connection with Bret, how PMS changed everything and the Orwellian constraints of reality TV. For real!
Tay Zonday, everyone’s favorite deep-voiced internet star, has “released” his follow up jam to the summer’s biggest song, “Chocolate Rain.” “Do the Can’t Dance” is not quite as bizarre (and therefore – catchy) as his first masterpiece, but at least we get to watch him shake his booty as he mimes eating salsa. In the world of internet video, that’s pure genius.
What do you think – Does “Do the Can’t Dance” beat out “Chocolate Rain” as the most annoyingly addictive web song of the year?
“Chocolate Rain” Live – Tay Takes Kimmel
A video for a 2006 video from none other than Rock of Love villain Lacey has surfaced, and boy is it awesome. The synth-pop throwback “This Thing Called Love” finds Lacey vamping around, rolling around in bed, throwing rose petals at a dude and changing the word “LOVE” (written in lipstick on a mirror, of course) to the word “DONE” while proclaiming all along, “I don’t want this thing called love.” Here comes the rain, again and again. As you’re well aware, Lacey would go on to appear on a reality show purportedly in search for that very thing. It’s nice to know that she eventually came around. [Via ohnotheydidnt]
Browse Lacey Photos
‘Rock of Love’ Show Info
Watch ‘Rock of Love’ On Demand
MTV has confirmed that Britney – extensions and all – will be opening the 2007 Video Music Awards this Sunday. Brit will bust a move to her new single “Gimme More,” also know as the mediocre dance song that starts with the lines “It’s Britney, bitch.” The executive producer of the show says that Brit has indeed consulted with Criss Angel on her performance, and he is promising a spectacle unlike anything we’ve ever seen. “You can expect the things we want and expect from Britney — that will all be there,” said Jesse Ignjatovic. “…She’ll be dancing, performing, doing her thing. That’s exactly what we all want. Fans that are familiar with her performance on previous VMAs will not be disappointed.”
By “doing her thing,” he hopefully means a choreographed head shaving routine. Or maybe she’ll chain smoke an entire pack of Marlboro Lights. Either way, we’ll be glued to our TVs on Sunday night. Good luck, bitch! [MTV.com. Images: Getty]
Check out these pics of Brit’s past VMA show stoppers. Do you think she’s gonna bomb or blow up big on Sunday night?
2007 MTV Video Music Awards Performer & Presenters