Thursday: Usher’s Gonna Be a Daddy; Nicky’s Sick of Paris’ Drama

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Yeah! Usher’s Gonna Be a Dad
Usher
and his fiance (and former stylist) are expecting their first child
together. Expect an adorable, tiny dancing machine in about nine
months. [People]

P*ssed Paris to Sue Lawyer?
She may have told Larry King that her jail stint "happened for a reason," but Paris is raging mad that her lawyer didn’t do a better job of keeping her out of the slammer. [MSNBC]

Brit Bails on Secret Show
The starlet’s comeback won’t be happening at Cyndi Lauper’s LA show, because according to a unnamed source, "Britney said she would only dance or lip-sync – and to be on stage with Cyndi, you have to actually perform." Ouch – an anonymous zing! [NY Post]

Read more…

Paris Talks God, ADD and Strip Searches

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Tonight was Paris’ time to shine in her one hour interview with CNN’s Larry King. And oh the marvelous things we learned! For example, "God makes everything happen for a reason." Like her brand new mustard colored extensions, for starters. It sure is a good thing we now know WHY there is ugliness living on top her head.

We break down all the deets on Paris and Larry’s chat-fest – after the jump!

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All Bets Are On Paris

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The world is bracing for Paris Hilton’s first televised appearance after serving a 23-day stint in the clink. She will be interviewed on Lary King Live and Bodog, one of the most notorious gambling sites on the Web, is taking wagers on what subjects the heiress will discuss.

Odds are as follows:

1. Will Paris Hilton discuss finding God while in prison during her first post-prison interview on Larry King Live?
Yes -840
No +450

2. Will Paris Hilton discuss her mental health issues while in prison during her first post-prison interview on Larry King Live?
Yes -500
No +300

3. Will Paris Hilton wear an orange outfit during her first post-prison interview on Larry King Live?

Yes +800

If you’re interested, you can also wager on whether or not Paris will be a guest host on the The View during 2007.

I’ll put my money on #2. What about you?

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News_20x9Play Our Paris in Prison Game!

Britney Desperate to Reconcile with K-Fed

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Britney Spears is supposedly trying to get back together with K-Fed, who is said to be worried that Brit is unstable. It doesn’t take a genius to see that she’s a mess – just wanting to get within 100 feet of that guy is crazy enough. Brit apparently told Kevin recently, "I’m not divorcing you! I want my family back!"

Okay. What else are we supposed to say? All she does all day long is act like an escaped mental patient: dyeing her own hair, letting her nipples hang out everywhere, and wearing unbearable tacky outfits borrowed from a nineties girl pop group. So if she wants to get back together with her man, then best of luck to her. Do it up Britney. Go nuts! Get your family back, and while you’re at it, how about getting some dignity back too, girlfriend.

Lindsay’s Dad is an Idiot

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The Loh-sanity continues on this week, with Lindsay’s dad desperately fighting to see his kids – but in the most stupid of ways. Check out this statement Michael Lohan issued to the press recently:

"I look forward to order being restored to the chaos that our family life has become.  Lyndsay,
Michael, Ali and Cody need stability and both of their parents in their
lives. I am anxious to spend time with them and end this cruel,
needless separation."

— Michael Lohan

It’s not like he really has to do much here. Just know how to spell your (oldest, most super famous) kid’s name right! Here are some other names he probably calls Lyndsay Lindsay:

  • My devilish ex-wife’s older sister
  • The Checkbook
  • My ticket to hanging out with Paris Hilton
  • That chick in that Mean Girls movie who looks so much like that pain in the ass kid of mine
  • Lindsie

Blog Best-Of: Ciara’s Cad

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Ciara_fiddyCiara is said to be dating 50 Cent. You’ll know she’s at the Vivica A. Fox level of desperation when she starts rocking collagen-puffed lips. Soon enough! [CONCRETELOOP]

- Jennifer Aniston reportedly says that her current boyfriend is better in bed than Brad Pitt. As he is not nearly as famous, he’s had the free time to perfect his craft. [Dlisted]

- Britney Spears’ damn nipples make another appearance for paparazzi. Leave it to vapid ol’ Brit to make exposed breasts seem boring. [CityRag]

- Gwyneth Paltrow on crutches should become the new patron saint of Inherently Funny. [Just Jared]

- Noted American Idol reject Frenchie Davis claims she’s the victim of racism, again. In related news, my sense of sympathy claims it’s the victim of fatigue. Again. [Crunk + Disorderly]

Image credit: Getty

Anticipating Bobby Brown

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Bobbay_flavorEver since Being Bobby Brown ended in 2005, trash fiends have been jonesing for the second reality train wreck coming of Bobby. Rumors about a Flavor of Love-style dating show starring Bobby have been kicking around, and it looks like there might be some truth to them. Or something. Says Bobby on an upcoming project in the latest Sister 2 Sister:

"It’s not really a dating reality show. It’s more of a — you have to really see it because it’s a lot more acting than it is anything. It’s like a show on doing a dating reality show."

So it won’t really be The Flavor of Bobby, but something more like The Recipe of the Flavor of Bobby. That sounds…confusing. Whatever it is, it probably tastes like ABC gum and feet.

Bobby says that the show is headed for CBS right before revealing that he hasn’t actually signed a deal yet. That makes about as much sense as a show on doing a dating reality show. Perfect! [S2SMAGAZINE.com / Image credit: Getty]

Madonna vs. Janet: Ready to Duke it Out

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NYC was home to a major celebrity hangout sesh earlier this week, when Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher joined forces with Shakira, Penelope Cruz, and Madonna to party the night away at hot spot Butter. The posse of popular kids danced on tables and holed up together in a booth, and oddly enough ignored the other celeb boozing at the bar, the one and only Janet – Miss Jackson if you’re nasty. And apparently Madge is just that, as a source tells Page Six that Janet “was not invited to join Madonna’s crew.” She then drowned her sorrows in the corner with “a ton of beer.”

Sounds like there’s a middle-aged lady-feud brewing, and surely there is only one way to settle this beef: A DANCE-OFF. Rhythm Nation vs. the Vogue Crew! Madonna Louise Ciccone vs. Janet Damita Jo Jackson! Nipple revealing wardrobe malfunction vs. all that floor humping, hanging off a cross crap!
Sigh. It’d be a dream from 1989 come true.

Kanye West Is a Robot Weirdo

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Kanye West‘s new single off his upcoming record is called "Stronger," and it presents a very weird, not altogether unpleasant mash of styles, combining Kanye, Cassie and Daft Punk with fashions by Jeremy Scott and a retro-futuristic Japanese backdrop that alternately looks like Akira and The Fast and the Furious while referencing Nigo and A Bathing Ape. Phew. That’s a lot. The song is pretty catchy and the visuals are good, but the lyrics are on the ridiculous side of bad. Consider: "You know how long I’ve been on ya?/ Since Prince was on Apollonia/ Since OJ had Isotoners." And that’s to say nothing of the Vuitton and Dior mentions. The words, however, do pose a few questions that we’d like your opinion on. Does that which does not kill Kanye make him stronger? Would you like to be his "black Kate Moss" tonight? And is this song about stalking, or is it about what a great artist Kanye is? We can’t tell. Get used to it now, before he performs for Diana on Sunday.