Blast From the Past: Sly’s Stone & Morrissey’s Moan

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Sly Stone has been MIA for decades. The recent reissue of his joyful and profound catalog has people hot on the Family Stone again. The fountain of funk finally connects with a journalist to explain a couple things in Vanity Fair.

Metallica is going to ride the lightning one more time. Lars Ulrich told a journalist that the songs are long and they don’t particularly have anything do with the sound of the band’s last disc, St. Anger. He and the boys are pounding the chests at the Live Earth spectacular this Saturday. We’ll be live blogging the concert during the afternoon. Check a string of Metallica vids on our Classic site.

Morrissey’s tour had to stop for a moment due to a scratchy throat, but the master of misery is back in action. Wonder if he’ll be doing any of these songs? 

Nick and Vanessa’s X-Rated Jacuzzi Jaunt

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Turns out the censored pics (kinda NSFW) Life&Style Magazine published of Nick Lachey and gal pal Vanessa Minnillo getting nekkid on the balcony of their Mexican villa are pretty tame compared to the rest of the photos snapped that day. Apparently there’s another batch that shows the pair gettin’ it ON in their jacuzzi, and a source tells TMZ that the images are “Paris sex tape-level scandalous.” Boooo. I was hoping for Kim Kardashian sex tape-level scandalous, but I’ll settle.

The lovebirds (and future porn stars) quickly got their attorney on the job, and notices have been sent to all the weekly gossip mags alerting them that if anyone publishes the sexy shots they’ll be slapped with lawsuits galore. So for now we can only imagine what kind of sexalicious insanity these two got into. It sounds wayyy more exciting the Nick’s ex-wife’s tear-filled trip to Mexico last month. Jealous much, Jess?

Jessica’s Blonde Ambitions Bomb

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Jessica Simpson‘s new movie, Blonde Ambition, is said to stink so bad that the film’s opening has been pushed back twice, and now may not come out at all. A source told the NY Daily News that "the release date was set for Aug. 3, and then it was delayed until the last week of August. Papa Joe then intervened and said he wasn’t comfortable with the level of competition from other films that month."

Her dad/manager/overall creepy dude may want to wise up to the obvious – that his precious baby girl just ain’t cut out for big screen success (Employee of the Month, anyone?). Jess needs to stick to what she’s good at – like going to the gym in cute outfits. Please enjoy the trailer to Blonde Ambition in the video above, and excuse us as we curl up into the fetal position and cry about Luke Wilson‘s crappy career choices.

Lindsay’s Sober Birthday Celebration

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The starlet gathered family and friends
at a beach-front bungalow in Malibu yesterday for her 21st birthday bash, where the paparazzi caught Lindsay hanging with boozey ex Calum Best while dressed only in a bikini and the world’s nastiest pair of bright blue heels. Friends brought pricey gifts for the rehabbing actress, as they snacked and played volleyball while DJ and Lilo pal Samantha Ronson spun records. Fellow sobriety fan DJ AM stopped by, as did  her mom Dina (Cartier gift in hand), and Lindsay captured the festivities  – and the paps – on her giant camera. The party starting winding down around 2am and Lindsay ended her big day right where she had started it, at Promises Treatment Center. Pure Nightclub – eat your heart out.

Tuesday: Lindsay’s Movin’ Out; Paris is a Sucky Surfer

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LiLo Moves Out of Party Apartments
Sources say Lindsay has slowly been moving belongings out of her place in LA’s Sierra Apartments, home to wild parties and stars such as Fred Durst, Matthew Perry, and her ex Harry Morton. [NY Daily News]

Drew Locks Lips with Zach Braff
Ms. Barrymore was spotted all over NYC this weekend, making out at various downtown hot spots with resident singleton and Mandy Moore ‘s ex, Zach Braff. [Gawker]

The Hills’ LC Scores Paris’ Ex
It’s sloppy seconds for the Teen Vogue intern and reality star, as she’s caught leaving an LA nightclub holding hands with Josh Henderson, Paris’ pre-clink cutie. [NY Daily News]

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Blog Best-Of: Mariah’s Mirror

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Mariah_links- Mariah Carey checks herself out by looking into a mirror onstage. She’s so vain that she should change her name from “Mimi” to “Me! Me!” [Yeeeah!]

- Nicole Richie carries a pillow in front of her at an airport. She’s either hiding her baby bump or showing us a simple way that she can disappear. Either way: magical. [Dlisted]

- A newly hunky Adam Sandler is shot outside of his Beverley Hills pad wearing boxers and nothing else. This is guerrilla marketing for I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Today’s target audience: boys who like beefcake. [TMZ.com]

- Lindsay Lohan gets an iPhone. But wouldn’t a Razr have been more useful to her (and her nose)? [Best Week Ever]

- Lauryn Hill talks about her extended break the music scene. And talks. And talks. Apparently, absence makes the windedness grow longer. [CONCRETELOOP]

[Image credit: Getty]

Sexy Vegas B-Day for Lady Pam

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So Lindsay didn’t blow out the candles in Glitter Gulch. Pam Anderson did. Lady Pam celebrated her 40th birthday in the quiet desert town of Las Vegas, Nevada yesterday. What better way to enjoy the landmark occasion than with a see-through top and your porn-tape ex by your side? As most entertainment vulture’s know, Pam’s in town working for her magic man, Hans Klok, who gave her a rare Houdini book. Well, well, 40, imagine that – though as d-listed noticed, there are certain parts of the Baywatch babe that are only a decade old.

Question: Did Kid Rock at least send a telegram?

The Celebreality Interview – Saaphyri

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Whether you agree with her victory or not, you have to give it up for Saaphyri’s determination and unique spirit. Like the most memorable Celebreality characters (such as New York), Saaphyri has her own distinct way of communicating — the stuff that comes out of her mouth is all hers. She blessed us exclusively with her unique insight, unflinching honesty and quirky sense of humor. After the jump, Saaphyri talks about winning Charm School, her plans for the $50,000, her thoughts on Shay and Larissa, her gigantic boobs and the drag queen who helped her become the woman she is today. The fierceness starts as soon as you click:

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Oh No They Didn’t: Monday’s Review Rage

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Every week we round up selections from the funniest, most obscene and brutal film criticism out there so that you don’t waste your cash at the theaters and laugh a little at Hollywood’s expense. This week: The over-long eardrum-shattering special-effects bonanza otherwise known as Transformers.

"A 17-year-old of my acquaintance assures me the fight will give ‘nerdgasms’ to diehard Transformers fans. The younger ones, at any rate. Older viewers may hope their popcorn cup will magically transform into a container of Advil." – The Toronto Star

"To call [director] Michael Bay a hack is sort of like saying Woody Allen is neurotic or Jack Nicholson doesn’t give a f*ck. It’s such a well-worn Hollywood truism, it doesn’t necessarily need repeating." – The New York Post

"[Transformers is] part car commercial, part military recruitment ad, a bumper-to-bumper pileup of big cars, big guns and, as befits its recently weaned target demographic, big breasts." – The New York Times

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Kelly Rowland: Charm School‘s #1 Fan

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Mskelly It’s a big week for Kelly Rowland, who’s album, Ms Kelly, drops tomorrow. The other big event this week? The Charm School finale. That’s right: Stars — they’re just like us. They watch Charm School. "I’m obsessed with that show. I haven’t seen it in three weeks and I really need to get up to speed with what’s going on. I need to know what happened! I need to know what happened to Boots!" Find out what else Miss Rowland had to say when she checked in with us.