The New York Post reports that on Monday, Britney Spears crashed her car into a parked station wagon. When she exited her vehicle, she told the paparazzi, “I’m a brainiac!” As a blogger, it’s thrilling to encounter a celebrity who writes her own punchlines. Brit just keeps getting better. [New York Post]
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Eve Rydes Ruff, Sean Penn Pays a Visit
Kim Kardashian has officially become the queen of celebutards.
I have no idea how someone becomes famous for walking arm in arm with Paris, making a sex tape and having serious lady lumpage, but Kim has done it and the world is cheering! She is now even set to star in her own reality TV show, replacing Brits Kelly Osbourne and Kim Stewart after the pair of pals failed to impress the executives at E Online with their attempt at creating a Simple Life-type show. Her family – which includes step-dad/Olympic gold medalist Bruce Jenner and hunky step-brother/reality TV pro Brody – will serve as her supporting cast. This will surely be the television event of the year, because truly, there can never be enough hot girls with nice butts on TV. [NY Daily News]
See Kim Kardashian showing off her booty:
[All Photos: Getty Images]
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Kim Kardashian: No Class, No Clothes
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Kim’s Lovely Lady Lumps
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That’s our Britney! The apparently very horny starlet dragged a bunch of her video dancers to the pool of an exclusive LA hotel, which she had opened especially for her group at 2am. The booze flowed, Brit got naked, everyone else follower her leaded, and a game of Truth or Dare ensued. Are you at all surprised by this, or that her infant sons were set to be dropped off at her house a mere 10 hours later by K-Fed? Nope. Brit got it on with one of the dancers, 21-year-old Matt Encinias, who told Us, “I was told all she wanted to do that night was kiss a boy. And that’s what she did. Mission accomplished.”
Matt was invited back to her suite where he discovered the singer ready for more booty action. “I went in and found Britney lying on the bed with her knees up and just a pair of pink panties on, ” he said. Matt was forced to bail before he could seal the deal because he had to take care of a drunk friend, saving the world from the possibility of third Brit-spawn. Back up dancers beware! Britney’s in need of some loving and she’ll stop at nothing to get it. And if you think you can resist her sextastic ways, think again – girlfriend’s wearing fake tattoos on her nipples. Pretty. Damn. Hot. [Us Weekly, The Sun. Image: Us Weekly]
Hottest Makeout Scenes
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Usher: My Wedding Was Beautiful
The singer describes his tiny wedding as “beautiful and private,” and was followed by an “intimate dinner.” Did they serve drama instead of cake? [Us Weekly]
Courtney Love’s Cupcake Diet
The emaciated rocker claims she’s gained ten pounds by eating cupcakes. That sounds just as healthy as losing weight by eating nothing. [People]
Kate Hudson’s Got a New Flame
The single mom has been spotted getting cozy with funny guy and Punk’d actor Dax Shephard. We’re not totally sure who he is, but he’s hunky enough to be a big step up from Owen Wilson. [A Socialite's Life]
In this episode, Hulk gets an upgrade…
…or something like that.
And you know what they say: it’s all fun and games…
…until a man-purse ends up in a mall fountain.
There is a man who few outside the “seduction community” are aware of, but VH1 has sought him out to help eight unlucky-in-love bachelors find the women of their dreams. Or at least become capable of approaching a girl without sweating profusely and stuttering uncontrollably. This man’s name is Mystery, and while he may look like a cross between a cowboy and a vampire, he is quite successful with the ladies.
– 50 Cent accepts Kanye West‘s challenge to a televised debate over whose upcoming album is better. They can air masturbation on TV now? [A Socialite's Life]
- Is that Gwyneth Paltrow or a nectarine with eyebrows and a weave the latest cover of W? Only the editors know for sure! [Dlisted]
- Britney Spears runs around in a see-through dress. Overexposed, her ass. Or wait, make that, “Overexposed: her ass.” [CityRag]
- Jermaine Jackson gets criticized for his children’s unorthodox sleeping arrangements. You wouldn’t understand: it’s a Jackson thing. [Crunk + Disorderly]
- Tom Cruise wants to learn British slang. He’ll be shocked and maybe a little delighted to learn that “poof” has nothing to do with smoke. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Image credit: Getty
50 Cent’s Artist Page
Box Set: Kanye West
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Oh Diddy, we could all learn a little something from you on how to be a player. Even in a pair of grey sweat-shorts you still get the ladies! The newly single star was back in the platonic arms of an old platonic flame, that enticing Brit Sienna Miller. The are they/aren’t they pair partied at the DC-10 club in Ibiza, Spain late into the night and then visited Sienna’s villa with an entourage. And you know what that means (cue sexy 70′s porno music)!
Check out pics of the partying pair here and here. [PopSugar. Image: Getty]
Diddy and Penelope: St. Tropez Sleepover
Did Sienna Do Diddy, or Didn’t She?
Is it us, or do Lindsay’s rehab spots just keep getting cushier? All the treatment places she holes up in – Wonderland, Promises – sound more like daycare centers than a place for adults to kick addictions. Now she’s apparently up for round three at the Cirque Lodge, which judging from pics, looks like a five star wilderness palace. A stint at this joint supposedly starts at $30,000 and boasts in-room jacuzzis and fireplaces, horseback riding, massage, and hydro therapy, and of course, a hair salon with manicures. So she can repair the nails she once used to cut up coke with, presumably. Here’s what a day in the life of re-rehabbing Lilo must look like:
12 PM: Wake up.
2 PM: Wake up for real.
2:15 PM: Order an omelet of quail eggs, fresh goat’s cheese, hand picked basil and gold flakes from room service.
3:00 PM: Pet a horse.
3:05 PM: Get manicure and massage to rid body of horse smell.
4:00 PM: Make an “I Hate Paris Hilton” collage in art therapy class from old Us Weekly magazines.
5: 00 PM: Group therapy shopping spree.
7:00 PM: Pick a buffalo out on the horizon, have chef hunt it for dinner.
7:45 PM: Yell at chef because the buffalo isn’t tender enough, god damn it.
7:46 PM: Lick plate clean.
8:30 PM: Jacuzzi party!
9:00 PM: In bed in time for So You Think You Can Dance.
Click the thumbnails below to see them full size.
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Celebrity Bad Girls
Just a normal day of looniness in La La Land: Charlie Sheen revealed yesterday that his ex-wife Denise Richards has asked him to help her get pregnant with a child – even though they’re getting a divorce. Apparently she made “a request for a donation,” which the Two and a Half Men star is now using in his custody battle with his ex-wife. Ewww – it’s like she wants a little party favor to remind her of all their good times. Couldn’t she get some other Hollywood schlub to volunteer for the job? That’s like asking your dog to crap in the house…or something equally as wrong. Denise of course denies it, but her ex claim to have the request in writing. When asked if he’d comply, Sheen replied, “I would sooner, in exactly what I’m wearing, walk on the surface of the moon. Does that answer it?”
Yep. Yep it does. But here’s an astronaut helmet, just in case. [Image: Getty]
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