What Britney Allegedly Stole

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britney.jpgPerez Hilton has an early look at the OK! mag spread, which will allegedly reveal how Britney terrorized a photoshoot by showing up three hours late, allowing her dog to pee and poop all over the place (cleaning it up with a couture gown), using the bathroom with the door open, insisting on wearing dresses two sizes two small, and then having a paranoid freak-out and dashing off the set with approximately $20,000 of clothes and jewelry. The NY Post reports that after wiping her hands on a $274 dress and cleaning up her dog’s mess with a $6,700 Zac Posen gown, Brit dashed off the set in “$12,861 worth of jewelry, a $974 Vera Wang dress, $380 Lanvin heels and a $281 Pucci scarf. When the clothes she ruined are added, the total comes to $21,267.”

She probably got home, dumped all the goodies in a big pile, and instructed her doggie to use it as a wee pad.

Why Lohan’s Booze Monitor Didn’t Work

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Lindsay LohanYou don’t expect Jay Leno to do much hard investigating. But last night he interviewed a chic Hollywood blonde who shed some light on why those ankle-hugging alcohol monitoring devices ain’t doing the job. In other news about the Lindsay meltdown, the rehab houses are starting to put away the top-shelf liquors – a small step for the recovering health of celebville.

Who else needs an alcohol-ankle bracelet?

Paris Hilton’s Good Deed: Making Out

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ciscoparis.jpgParis went out last night, of course. Not to a fund-raiser or some sort of charity event, but to karaoke night at Guy’s in Hollywood. The heiress all but avoided singing to instead apparently make out with Cisco Adler, lead singer of the group Whitestarr, stars of the new VH1 reality show The Rock Life . Fingers crossed that the Hilton makeout gets on the show! The lip lock – and lap dance – wouldn’t be all that scandalous (the guy’s in a band so this is like regular fare for Adler, right?), except for the fact that Cisco is not just Mischa Barton‘s former longterm flame, he’s also the ex-fiancé of Paris’ BFF Kim Stewart. Ouch. Either Kim is super cool and doesn’t care when her gal pals break the “don’t touch my ex” rule, or there’s a juicy MySpace message catfight on the horizon.

It’s such a good thing that, as Paris said, God has given her this new chance. A new chance to make out with more dudes, obvs. I wonder how that half-way house for women is coming? [TMZ. Images: Getty]

Beyonce Meets Destiny – On Her Ass

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Not to be outdone by her Destiny’s Child group-mates (remember Michelle’s topple and Kelly’s recent stage dive?), Beyonce took a spectacular fall last night down a set of stairs while performing in Orlando. But girl’s a trooper – she gets right back up and keeps on swinging that head, shaking that booty and lip-synching the hell out of some lyrics. Good for her. She was probably just getting nervous that Kelly’s getting more famous that her and needed to remind the fans who’s boss.

Lily Not Thrilled With Courtney, Courtney Not Thrilled With Mouth

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clove.JPGDon’t count on Courtney Love being one of Lily Allen‘s friends, MySpace or otherwise. A few months back, the ska popstress was spotted with walking medicine cabinet Courtney Love at Hyde, an L.A. club. Now Lily’s denying any type of friendship (via MySpace, natch), stating she now understands why Love’s a widow. “I am not bfs [best friends] w/ C Love, one night with her made me realise why KURT [Cobain] killed himself. I nearly checked into rehab,” said the always compassionate Allen.

While Allen may not care much for Love, Love’s rather consumed with not caring much for her mouth. In a brand new MySpace post (natch), Love confesses to being less than thrilled with her current mouth: “my mouth still looks wonky, i think i gott go back to paris tot he dr, hes nit a cosmetic surgeon he just fixes bad surgery and also cleft palates and serious sh*t its nbot really vanity hes conservtive, wich we like, and this really isnt znyones business but im hating that id di that to my mouth back in the day and he didnt really take out enough the first time around i just wnt the mouth god gave me back, it was perfectly cute.” Do you think Court should cool it with the work?

Lindsay: Denial is a Girl’s Best Friend

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lindsayinnocent.jpgAs we all know by know, Lindsay Lohan was arrested for chasing down another car while drunk and in possession of cocaine. But here is Lindsay’s take on things, in her own words, as sent to Access Hollywood‘s Billy Bush in an email:

“I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy.”

Didn’t they teach her in those 45 days of rehab to just steer clear of drugs all together? What kind of thinking goes into “Oh, I’m not gonna snort this bag of coke, just nestle it gently against my thigh deep within my J Brand Jeans pocket. Now pass me the Grey Goose!” Come on Linds. Say a serenity prayer instead. [Yahoo. Booking Image]

Wednesday: Jay-Z’s Job Hunting; Tom and Katie Bump n’ Grind

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jayz072507.jpgUsher: Tying the Knot This Weekend
The cutie crooner and his bride-to-be are supposedly set to make it official this weekend at LA Reid’s Hamptons mansion. Rumor is that Beyonce may be in attendance but not Usher’s mom. Did someone say Groomzilla? [OK! Magazine]

Christina’s Pregnancy Cravings
The pregnant pop star sent her hubby Jordy out for donuts before her Sydney performance. That baby bump must really love sweets and junk food. [A Socialite's Life]

Jay-Z: Jumping Ship as Label Head?
The Island Def Jam president may be looking to make the switch to Columbia, home to girlfriend Beyonce. Word is new Def Jam co-worker Jermaine Dupri is crampin’ Hova’s style. [NY Daily News]
Read more…

Lindsay’s Relapse: The Aftermath

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Linds is hopefully settling in to her new rehab bedroom by now, ready to slowly climb back on the wagon. Her rep reports that the star is at an undisclosed treatment facility, and also released this official statement:

“Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care.”

Perhaps a new day will shed more on what led Lindsay to hop in a car and chase down her assistant and her assistant’s mother. And maybe we’ll also learn why the starlet was reaching out to papparazzi agencies offering to sell them photos for cash. But for now, sit back, relax, tighten that alcohol monitoring device around your ankle and enjoy the above video of a police officer and his ‘stache telling you all you need to know about Lindsay’s wild ride off the deep end.