50 Cent: The Real Hottest Bachelor

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People Magazine‘s Hottest Bachelors issue is out, featuring the sweet , hunky faces of Blake Lewis, Jake Gyllenhaal and Ludacris. But they might want to revise their list to add 50 Cent, who just got $100 million richer.

The hip-hop star is packing away a ton of cash from his deal with Glaceau, the makers of Vitamin Water. Fifty signed on to have a drink named after him (Formula 50) in exchange for equity in the company as a shareholder. Glaceau was just bought by Coca Cola in a massive $4.1 billion deal, and now the rapper is set to rake it in, adding to his already enormous pile of millions.

It’s really cute that single Blake Lewis can beat-
box and all, but wouldn’t you rather have a man with millions upon millions of dollars – and a ton of crazy tattoos?

Nicole: Pregnant or 5 Pounds Heavier?

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The rumors about knocked up Nicole show no sign of slowing down. What started as a story about Richie visiting a fertility clinic (a popular celeb pastime, apparently), has built speed, and these recent photos of Nicole do nothing to dispel the whispers.

Now, maybe she’s just decided that being the boniest start in Hollywood isn’t her thing anymore, and she wants to get her weight up to a plumper 90 pounds or so. But you never know, perhaps she’s got some baby action brewing and now she HAS to eat -for two! She’ll actually have to finish her salads, and not just eat half.

Either way, it’s nice to see some meat on that collar bone.

Hottie of the Week: Jessica Alba

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Photo_20x9_1 All Jessica Alba Hottie Pics

Anyone remember her working that stripper-cowgirl outfit in Sin City? Yup, Jessica Alba’s got it going on.

This week she’s opening in round two of the Fantastic Four series, and that latex suit she sports as Sue Storm ain’t too bad either. Basically J.A. looks ultra seductive most all the time.

That’s why we chose to celebrate her for the next seven days. Get a taste of her hotness by clicking on the thumbs below and make sure to consume our entire HOTW: Jessica Alba photo gallery.

Jessica_alba_hottie_2   Jessica_alba_hottie_6  Jessica_alba_hottie_4_2  Jessica_alba_hottie_3_2

Thursday: Brit Strips; Jen Gets Played

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John Yells at Jess: "Go Away!"

An exhausted Mayer freaks out on Simpson over the phone, allegedly demanding that she stop calling and texting. [Popcrunch]

Brit Strips Off Clothes for Cash?
The pop star’s been spotted changing outfits multiple times a day. The reason? A rumored deal with a paparazzi house, who can get more dough for each different pic of Brit. [TMZ]

Guard’s Book: Lilo Groped Mariah!
Her former bodyguard’s tell-all reveals that Lindsay supposedly loved the ladies, attacked Jessica Simpson and was dangerous to be around. That sounds about right! [MSNBC]

Read more…

Jen: Don’t Drop the Soap

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Aniston Jennifer Aniston is headed to the slammer. For a film, that is. Brad’s ex recently announced her attachment to Goree Girls, the true story of eight women who were incarcerated during the 1940s, but won the nation’s heart with their country & western performances and received pardons. Jen’s will produce, as well as possibly star, so picture O Brother, Where Art Thou? meets Friends. Hopefully this will be diversion from her alleged deadbeat boyfriend.

Kim To Become Kardashi-cat

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KardashicatIf you haven’t seen Kim Kardashian‘s vagina by now, you’re either blind or religious. Either way: fair enough. If you’re the rare creature that doesn’t fall into the above two categories, here’s a consolation: soon, you’ll get to see Kim’s Pussycat. The woman most famous for her sex tape is said to be in talks to join the Pusscat Dolls‘ Las Vegas review, which has a sort of revolving door policy for celebrity guests (Scarlett Johansson, Christina Aguilera and Eva Longoria have all played in their litter box shared their stage). There are no details of Kim’s supposed PCD stint, but all signs point to it being a temporary gig.

As amusing as this news is, it’s also sort of counterproductive to Kim’s skank factor. Going from hardcore porn to burlesque (or whatever you want to call the PCD’s peen-teasing) is like going from Bergdorf Goodman to Fashion Bug. DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! [TMZ]

But Isn’t Paris Already a Cartoon?

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Even as news breaks of Paris Hilton’s move from the L.A. County jail’s medical ward back to the regular women’s facility, and Barbara Walters announces, crazily, that she wouldn’t mind replacing Rosie O’Donnell with the heiress on The View, comic book overlord Stan Lee is getting in on the action. The Marvel maven (whose Fantastic Four 2 opens tomorrow) is reportedly developing an animated MTV series to star Paris. If you remember the Pamela Anderson Stripperella cartoon, then you’re on the right track. In the meantime, we’re wondering if Stan’s seen Heavy.com’s series Superficial Friends. It’s funny.

Brit’s Brilliant Album Ideas

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Every time Britney updates her website (remember this gem about hitting rock bottom?), I like to imagine her barefoot, locked in a giant computer room at her mansion in Malibu, typing away furiously while shoveling Cheetos in her mouth, and grinning as she types up some crazy rant while her "people" bang on the door begging her to stop. Thankfully, if this scenario is really taking place (oh, I hope so), she’s not listening to anyone but her the voices in her head (or weave). And they’re kind of weird.

Check out her latest masterpiece currently up on Britney Spears.com:

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Can anyone make sense of this mess? I cant, so I’m pretty sure the joke is on me. I’m voting for #2, even though I’m sure we all agree that Omg is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like is quite possibly, like, the greatest, like, album name EVER, like.     

Charm School Extra Credit – Anatomy Lesson

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Hold onto your weaves, because this week’s Charm School extras provide a testosterone injection. The first is an extended cut of Saaphyri’s showdown with Seashell — after he makes his crack about large breasts leading to stretch marks, the stacked Saaphyri busts out, "If you have ding-a-lings that are too big, they don’t get hard all the way. So which category do you fit in?" Fascinating! In the second Becky talks about her trials and tribulations with men — apparently, her appearance on Flavor of Love did not attract the kind of men she’d want to date. Can you believe it!?!