Lindsay: Denial is a Girl’s Best Friend

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lindsayinnocent.jpgAs we all know by know, Lindsay Lohan was arrested for chasing down another car while drunk and in possession of cocaine. But here is Lindsay’s take on things, in her own words, as sent to Access Hollywood‘s Billy Bush in an email:

“I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy.”

Didn’t they teach her in those 45 days of rehab to just steer clear of drugs all together? What kind of thinking goes into “Oh, I’m not gonna snort this bag of coke, just nestle it gently against my thigh deep within my J Brand Jeans pocket. Now pass me the Grey Goose!” Come on Linds. Say a serenity prayer instead. [Yahoo. Booking Image]

Wednesday: Jay-Z’s Job Hunting; Tom and Katie Bump n’ Grind

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jayz072507.jpgUsher: Tying the Knot This Weekend
The cutie crooner and his bride-to-be are supposedly set to make it official this weekend at LA Reid’s Hamptons mansion. Rumor is that Beyonce may be in attendance but not Usher’s mom. Did someone say Groomzilla? [OK! Magazine]

Christina’s Pregnancy Cravings
The pregnant pop star sent her hubby Jordy out for donuts before her Sydney performance. That baby bump must really love sweets and junk food. [A Socialite's Life]

Jay-Z: Jumping Ship as Label Head?
The Island Def Jam president may be looking to make the switch to Columbia, home to girlfriend Beyonce. Word is new Def Jam co-worker Jermaine Dupri is crampin’ Hova’s style. [NY Daily News]
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Lindsay’s Relapse: The Aftermath

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Linds is hopefully settling in to her new rehab bedroom by now, ready to slowly climb back on the wagon. Her rep reports that the star is at an undisclosed treatment facility, and also released this official statement:

“Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care.”

Perhaps a new day will shed more on what led Lindsay to hop in a car and chase down her assistant and her assistant’s mother. And maybe we’ll also learn why the starlet was reaching out to papparazzi agencies offering to sell them photos for cash. But for now, sit back, relax, tighten that alcohol monitoring device around your ankle and enjoy the above video of a police officer and his ‘stache telling you all you need to know about Lindsay’s wild ride off the deep end.

Hottie of the Week: Lindsay Lohan

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Photo_20x9_1 All Lindsay Pics

Actress. Singer. Tabloid Princess. Since exploding on the scene in 2004′s Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan has proven herself to be a bombshell triple threat (quadruple if you take into account her moving vehicle violations). After relatively wholesome trips through the Disney remake machine (The Parent Trap, Freaky Friday, Herbie: Fully Loaded), Linds has branched out, and this Friday appears in the striptastic thriller I Know Who Killed Me as an imperiled young woman with a split personality.

Following her pole-friendly turn in IKWKM, La Lohan doesn’t have much on the docket except for some pending legal matters you may or may not have heard about. To help stave off the inevitable (but hopefully healthful) withdrawal caused by Lindsay’s pop culture sabbatical, enjoy the following photographic greatest hits.

Mean Hilary Makes a Fan Cry

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hilary072407.jpgHilary Duff better check herself before she wrecks herself. Afterall, she’s about to become the last teen queen standing once Lindsay and Nicole are hauled off to jail (Paris and Britney are too tainted to even count anymore). But her new found position at the top of the heap hasn’t stopped Hil from being a total a-hole – to kids. The other night, while enjoying a dinner out in Texas, two nine year old girls with posters and t-shirts showed up hungry for some penned Duff love. But Joel Madden’s ex was having none of it! A source tells the NY Daily News that when the two girls approached the diva, “[Hilary] said, ‘I don’t really get to spend a lot of time with my family; sorry’ and walked out the door. She made one of the little girls cry.”

When did Hilary get famous enough to act like such a snob? Her sister Haylie we understand, but Hil? [NY Daily News. Image: Getty]

Kim Kardashian: No Class, No Clothes

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kimk072407.jpgComing soon to a Playboy near you: Kim Kardashian‘s mountainous buttocks. The model socialite waste of space has already shot her spread for the nudie mag, but there’s no word yet on how much skin she’ll bare. Surely she’ll get a little rump action in, as we all know she’s down with showing her piece off.

Kim is a favorite on the LA social scene, but recently she may have taken her party hopping a little too far. The brunette bombshell showed up at the Playboy mansion for an event benefiting the Nicole Brown Foundation, a non-profit created in honor of Nicole Brown, OJ Simpson‘s ex-wife who was brutally murdered by…someone. Kim’s father, now deceased, was not just a close friend of the football star, but also happens to be one of the lawyers who got OJ off the hook. Maybe Kim should have stayed home and practiced her butt posing in the mirror or gone to see the new Harry Potter flick. We know she’s a red carpet junkie, but even addictions have limits – especially when it comes to awkward run-ins with the family of the woman whose maybe-killer your dad helped set free. [NY Post. Image:Getty]

Whatcha Gonna Do When Big Boi Comes After You?

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Big Boi Says, “Hello, world! Who’s your caddy?”The more reserved half of OutKast put his money where his mouth is, defending his wife against sticky-fingered denim lovers. Translation? Big Boi‘s wife owns a boutique in Atlanta called P. Valentine, and, according to AllHipHop,over the weekend a certain party (or parties) stole all of their jeans. So the eminently likable rap star went on a radio station andoffered $50,000 to the person who calls the store and lets him know who perpetrated the crime.Apparently, he also told the Atlanta Journal Constitution, “I’ve got to see about this personally. You don’t even have to call the police folk. Just call me . . . I’ll get this handled.” Speaking of bounties, is $50,000 a lot or a little these days? Anyone know? Our subscriptions toGuns & Ammo and Don Diva have lapsed.

Perez Hilton Dishes on Lindsay’s Bad Day

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perezlindsay.jpgBad boy blogger Perez Hilton was able to spend a few minutes away from covering Lohanpalooza to chat with us about the latest booze-fueled car chase starring Lindsay herself. Here’s what everyone’s favorite guilty gossip pleasure had to say about this morning’s scandalous events.

VH1: You mentioned on your site that you’ve been emailing Linds some words of support. What kind of encouragement did you offer her?
Perez: I just emailed her this morning and said, “What were you thinking? Big hug.” I have yet to hear from her.

VH1: It must be hard to cover the bad stuff when you’re rooting for her to do well.
Perez: On my site I don’t want to be mean for the sake of being mean. I spotlight celebrities when they’re behaving badly but also when they’re doing well. I’ve met Lindsay many times and I’ve encouraged her to do well because I want her to do well. I’ve tried to shed the spotlight over her in a positive way but it’s hard to do when she continuously self-sabotages herself, repeatedly.

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Britney’s Meltdown to be Front Page News

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britneyspears072407.jpgTMZ reported yesterday that Britney had been a total mess during her self-arranged photo-shoot and interview with OK! Magazine. How bad could it be? Apparently so bad that she ordered chicken wings and wiped her hands on the expensive Gucci dress she was wearing. She also made numerous mood-altering trips to the bathroom, displayed erratic and paranoid behavior and cleaned up her dog’s number 2 mess with a Chanel dress. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Oh boy.

Today OK! has revealed that instead of doing their best to paint Brit in a good light, the mag is going to show what she was truly like on the day of the shoot – haute couture dog poop clean-up and all. The magazine’s editor in chief told TMZ, “OK! Magazine spent a heartbreaking day with Britney Spears and witnessed first-hand an emotional cry for help that will leave you shocked and sad.”

And also probably really relieved that you’re not her kid. [Image: Getty]