Ask Doc Ali



Scott Baio Is 45…and Single may be all about Scott Baio, but his life coach, Doc Ali, isn’t. In addition to helping Scott sort out his love woes on TV, she’s helping our readers sort out their problems online. If you need some advice on love, life and/or work, drop Doc Ali a line here. And check this spot every week to see if Doc has answered your questions.

After the jump, Doc Ali continues doling out the virtual guidance.

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Blog Best-Of: Paula’s Pink Slip


paula_ps_links.jpg- Paula Abdul‘s publicist says she wasn’t fired from the Bratz movie. Paula Abdul reveals the opposite on her show. The truth comes out via reality TV! Who ever would have thought? [The Superficial]

- New pictures reveal that Dannielynn Hope looks just like her father.They could have skipped the DNAtest,waited a few months and, like, looked at her. [Dlisted]

- Catherine Zeta-Jones says, “There is nothing better than a man cooking you dinner – especially if he has no clothes on.” But then you spend the night playing a game of Pubes or Bean Sprouts? And that’s no fun. [A Socialite's Life]

- Trina rocks what looks like Rihanna‘s asymmetrical scraps on her head. Did Trina mishear Rihanna and stand under her beauty-shop chair? [CONCRETELOOP]

- Why did Amy Winehouse cross the road? So we could blog about it and laugh and laugh and laugh. [Crunk + Disorderly]

The Crazy Baby Name Trend Continues


katiesuri07607.jpgBritain’s big-boobed model “Jordan” and her husband Peter Andre recently named their newborn baby girl Princess Tiaamii, which is a combo of Thea and Amy – their mothers’ names. With, of course, Princess in front of it. If you thought that was the worst celebs could do, think again. Stars have gone out of their way to make a name like Suri seem tame and boring. For example, actress/dj Shannyn Sossamon has a kid named Audio Science. Toni Braxton‘s two tots are Diezel Ky and Denim Cole, while My Name is Earl actor Jason Lee named his child Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf. But no one can top Jermaine Jackson, who coined one of his offspring Jermajesty. Holy awfulness. Keep in mind, it is impossible to tell which of these children are boys or girls. It’s beyond gender neutral – these names are gender baffling.

It’s a good thing there are so many celebrity babies on the horizon, to make way for newer, more horrifying names. Christina Aguilera could call her baby Lady Marmalade, while maybe Nicole Richie should think about something like Toothpick Tattoo Richie-Madden. That’s (baby) hot! [Times Online. Image: Getty]

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Courtney Love Fails to Assure Internets of Her Sanity


Courtney LoveChronically verbose alterna-rocker Courtney Love continues to murder the English language on her MySpace blog. The former Hole singer’s lengthy screeds on her falling out with Drew Barrymore, her lackluster solo record and her love of gay men are buttressed by her claim that she was the world’s first celebrity blogger (“iwas talking to poeple on the net when AOL first started !!!!fST f*ckit i was the first celeb blogger end of story, ical;led it posting however!”) and further explanations for the clownish condition of her lips and lower face (“i OWN THIS, did a trout mouth, with a subtsnce that doesnt fade, so it takes surgery to restore my face to natural, i feel like m,y mouth is too big still so im gonna have to go back and RESTORE it to NATURAL”). If you’re interested in reading a nice precis, Idolator has you covered. If you’re interested in reading her writing in its entirety, we suggest you invest in Advil, block off a few hours and hire a translator.

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Entering Yellowville: It’s Simpsons Time


Crack a few Duffs tonight, the movie opens tomorrow! Need a last minute ramp-up so you can look sharp around the watercooler? NP. After you’re done checking a bunch of clips from the flick, you can see who Matt Groening says inspired Marge’s hairstyle. Then you can watch a string of videos by artists and bands who have been on The Simpsons TV show, and you can see which of those shows had the coolest endings, and then you check Homer’s battle with a naked, club-wielding, 17th century fertility god, and then you can see how Marge and the girls become fashionistas.

And if you’re the ultimate Springfield nerd, dive into the big-ass marketing plan that Fox unleashed on the world. See you in the popcorn line tomorrow with these celebs.

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R. Kelly’s Expanding His “Closet”


Can you hear that light drum roll? It’s the opening crescendo of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet,” and if it’s ringing in your ears, it’s for a reason: Kells has prepped 10 new chapters of his R&B melodrama to be released Aug. 21 on DVD. The tangled web, which often feels as if it was made up as Kelly went along, features the singer narrating as the character “Sylvester” and is the campiest contribution to American R&B since…well, Sylvester. The future installments will feature R. Kelly assuming a new role in addition to that of Sylvester: he’ll play a beard-wearing, potbellied old man named Randolph. There’s no word on further plot developments: whether Gwendolyn is going to beat Cathy’s wig-wearing ass or if Chuck, Rufus and Cathy can settle their bisexual love triangle (that “chapter” he performed at the 2005 VMAs never did surface) or if we’ll have to endure 10 more rounds of the same damn melody and instrumentation. Mostly, we’re like Idolator: we just want to know what happened to the midget.

Of course, the true cliffhanger hinges on whether, after two years, people will still care about this complicated nonsense. For now all we can do is shake our heads dissapprovingly, much like Sylvester did as he watched Chuck, Rufus and Cathy duke it out in the then-final chapter. [Billboard]


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The Lohans Strike Back with “the Truth”


lindsaypants072607.jpgLast night Entertainment Tonight featured a “Lohan Family Insider,” Gina Glockman, who gave us Lilo’s side of what went down on that fateful Monday night. Her chat session included the following deets:

  • Lindsay was having a gathering at her house, when she started sipping the booze. Glockman claims several people reported that she wasn’t drinking…but alcohol ankle bracelets don’t lie. Neither do breathalyzers.
  • Tarin, the assistant, came into the house looking disheveled like she had been crying, and Lindsay got “concerned.” Concerned that someone had discovered her off the wagon?
  • The car chase was followed by an argument in a parking lot. Apparently there were numerous people present, but the cops supposedly focused in on Lindsay. They also “strong-armed” her into the breathalyzer test.
  • The greatest part of the whole interview: The coke found in her pants pocket was NOT Lindsay’s, because she was wearing someone else’s pants.

I mean, it’s fine to make excuses for the girl, but someone else’s pants? Didn’t everyone use that excuse at 16? That’s like second to “the dog at my homework” on the lame excuse scale. And does this mean she was partying without pants? That’s not just “off the wagon” behavior, it’s plain creepy. [Entertainment Tonight / Image: Getty]

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Nicole to Reveal All – or Nothing – in Interview


nicolerichie072607.jpgFinally! Nicole Richie wants to spill the beans about her summer in hiding. The skinny star will be interviewed by Diane Sawyer in segments that will appear next week on Good Morning America and 20/20. Hopefully Diane won’t go easy on Nicole, but in case she throws softballs at the starlet – “Nicole, the world is dying to know… How do you do your hair?” – here are some questions for the anchor to toss at the tiny mom-to-be:

  • Is driving the wrong way on the highway fun? Honestly, it is, right?
  • Seriouslyis Ashlee Simpson pregnant?
  • What’s up with that skunk on Joel Madden‘s head?
  • Who’s prettier – Hilary or Haylie Duff?
  • You’ve already named your dog Honeychild. Are going to call your baby MolassesPuppy?
  • Was feuding with Paris Hilton like being a vacation from stupidity?
  • The world is dying to know… How do you do your hair? [Image: Getty]

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Kelly Rowland is “Chocolate and Beautiful”


kellyrowland072607.jpgThe former Destiny’s Child crooner reveals her past insecurities in next month Essence magazine, telling the rag:

“I remember wishing I was more fair-skinned, but Tina Knowles, Beyoncé‘s mom, would say, ‘Don’t you know how beautiful you are?’ She made me come into my brown beauty. I didn’t get it, but now I do. I am chocolate and beautiful and loving it.”

We’re loving it too Kelly! It’s so nice to see someone have a “You go girl!” moment amidst all the other messes of ladies out there. If only you could pass some of that self-esteem along…Hm, if you can turn it into a powder maybe LiLo will snort it! [NY Post / Image: Getty]

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Beyoncé to Gossips: Kiss My Grits



Beyoncé is beautiful (and for that matter, bootylicious) no matter what they say, but it turns out that words can get her down. And for that reason, the much-scrutinized diva stays off the blogs. Says Bey:

Sometimes I’ll run across certain things, usually in the paper, because I read the paper more so than the Web. There’s one or two sites that I can go to. But if I go on the Internet and try to see what people are saying, I’ll probably want to crawl under a rock. (Laughs.) Because I’m still human and certain things, it just hurts, so I try not to read the Internet too much.

It’s always ridiculous when superstars feel the need to remind us that they’re human, as though they think that we think that their synergy of incredible luck and skill has somehow altered their DNA. Besides that, Bey, who’s one of the most guarded and least-revealing divas that pop music has ever seen, is definitely going for the self-humanizing angle here. While it could very well be true, this plea of vulnerability has about the emotional resonance of the crocodile tears that flow from her eyes every night she sings “Flaws and All” on stage. Here’s a flaw for you: bad acting. We saw Dreamgirls, Bey. You can’t fool us. (Not that you’re listening or anything.) [AP/Yahoo! / Image credit: Getty]

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