We asked viewers of The Pick Up Artist to send us their best pick up line, and the response was overwhelming, in that we received a lot of replies and some of the lines were, well, a little…creepy? Ineffective? Straight up nasty/awesome? Regardless, we’re not sure Mystery, Matador and J-Dogg would approve. (Here’s what Junior Senior say about pick-up lines.)
Check out a few of the best lines – and our responses – below. If you think you can top these “masters,” share your own perfect pick up lines! But if it involves asking a lady if she flosses before or after she brushes, we’ll know where you got it. Try a spell instead.
1. You know… you’re hotter than flamin’ hot cheetos!
Oh look, Britney submitted. Hey girl, is this how you scored K-Fed?
2. I think someone just farted. lets get out of here.
Johnny, South Bend
- Whoops, that was me. Sorry!
3. Do you wash your pants in Windex….cuz I can see myself in them.
- Actually I’m wearing pants with your face on them. Yup – I’m creepier than you!
4. I’m a loser from Boston do you like losers?
- Only if you’re talking about the Red Sox.
You saw the group shots of the men of I Love New York 2. Now here’s your first peep at close-ups of the dudes that will attempt to win New York’s heart. We’ll be rolling these out in groups all week — the group below is of some of the Regular Casting guys. Try not to swoon when looking at Knock Out’s pictures, btw. New York sure know how to name ‘em!
Meet New York’s Men!
New York ‘s New Look (Sister Patterson Too!)
New York says: “Welcome to My Home!”
There’s something so painful about this “Britney Fan” that we dare you to try to watch this clip and not immediately want to crawl under your desk in the fetal position and shut yourself off from the world for a year or too. We did not see tears, as the video’s creator claims exists (yes, we watched it in full screen, it was hellish), but we’re sure Britney could learn a thing or two from Chris Crocker‘s performance skills. We would also like to argue that Britney has indeed performed on a stage recently. Remember those “secret shows” she did? So right. Poor, poor Britney. If we leave her alone, Chris, will you stop making horrifying YouTube videos? K’thanks.
VMA Recap: What Happens in Vegas…
Britney Bombs on the VMAs | Disastrous Photos
Britney’s Kids Have Rotting Teeth
Is Brit Beating Her Babies?
Well it’s a good thing Tommy Lee took to his personal blog to clear up the rumors about his fight with Kid Rock. We had read that Tommy had been taunting Kid all night, but now we know that he was just sitting there, minding his business, and was innocently attacked by the Detroit rap-rocker. Of course! How could we be so stupid. So why would Kid Rock smack Tommy unprovoked? He was probably pissed off that he wore a stripper’s cropped cowboy shirt to an awards show.
Read Tommy’s (edited down) blog post and let us know who you think is in the wrong:
Yeah!! …..here I am minding my own biz having a great time……Pamela comes and sits on my lap who I love and adore….and i get a text from another friend P. Diddy and he says come sit with me…..and he’s sitting with Miss HOT Megan FOX so I go over and sit with P! Not a minute later and Alicia Keys starts her amazing performance….I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble…I stand up and embrace him with a semi hug and say “Hey dude…What up”?? He punches me in the face…..well if ya wanna call it that!?….more like a bitch slap!…….Wuss!!
Tommy Lee, Kid Rock Fight Over Old Trash
VMA Recap: What Happens in Vegas…
Britney Bombs on the VMAs | Disastrous Photos
If you thought Keyshia Cole wanted to be a singer when she grew up, think again. The maiden of melismatic melodrama tells Sister 2 Sister‘s Jamie Foster Brown that she has her sights set on “getting married and having kids and becoming a veterinarian.” How’s that for abrupt and…uh, weird? “If it be the Lord’s will, I will have enough money to open up a veterinary hospital. Then I could just hire doctors to come in and I could go to school,” says Keyshia, who clearly has thought about this a lot. But when will she learn the ins and outs of animals? Why, on her tour bus, of course!
Later, Jamie asks Key what will happen in the event of necessary euthanasia. Here’s what Keyshia says:
“I won’t do that part. I’ll call somebody else in for that. I can’t hurt them. Somebody else just gonna have to do that part. I’ll do surgeries and stuff to save their life, but that’s not hurting them.“
Clearly, the girl has a little more studying to do before we can start referring to her as “Doctor.”
Blog Best-Of: Keyshia’s Conjecture
R. Kelly Believes He Can Fly the Coop
Keyshia Cole Artist Info
Browse Keyshia Cole Photos
Watch Her Music Videos
It’s Tuesday, meaning Kanye West must have run his mouth again. This time, though, Ye’s pissed off on the Pantyless One’s behalf, too. Speaking on New York radio station Z100, West — whose album Graduation drops today — criticized MTV’s treatment of artists, critiquing Britney‘s much maligned comeback performance from Sunday evening: “When Britney was opening [the VMA telecast], near the end, I felt so bad for her. I said, ‘Man, it’s a dirty game. This game will chew you up and spit you out.’” No word on whether the network was plying the pop tart with margaritas and enforcing a no underwear policy. Kanye then went on to discuss how MTV betrayed him, encouraging him to perform in a suite when he should have been on the main stage of the 2007 VMAs. “It was my dream when I made ‘Stronger’ to open up the VMAs with a real power performance,” West said, bemoaning his performance, which is demonstrative of a larger issue: don’t write songs with dreams of award shows dancing in your head. It will only end in tragedy.
For more of Kanye’s greatest disses, feuds and brags, go here.
The Quotable Kanye West
Kanye vs. Kevlar King: Fiddy Got a Future?
Oops! Maybe Courtney Love didn’t know Jack Osbourne was only fifteen years old when she gave him OxyContin for the first time. Still that excuse ain’t gonna fly with his mama Sharon, who fumed:
“I will never have time for Courtney Love. She was the first person to give my son Jack the prescription drug OxyContin. There’s not a shadow of doubt in my mind about that. My dislike towards her is very personal. I’m not saying Jack wouldn’t have taken it if she hadn’t given it to him, but I’m appalled that an adult mother would give that to a 15-year-old boy. How could she do that to someone else’s child? I haven’t had a row with her, but I will never talk to her.”
Ouch. Well kiddies, now you know where to go to get the goods – just look for the crazy lady dressed like a psychedelic clown. Check out the pics below for more of Courtney’s cracked out style from last night’s Marc Jacobs fashion show in NYC [DListed. Images: Getty]
Coogan Crosses Self Out
Courtney Fails To Assure Internet of Her Sanity
Lily Not Thrilled With Courtney, Courtney Not Thrilled With Mouth
Courtney Celebrates 43 by Trashing Hotel
Brangelina’s Super Spoiled Babies
Little Maddox has started kindergarten at a posh NYC school, where he only speaks French and eats gourmet lunches. Oh la (b)la(gh). [TMZ]
JT Celebrates VMAs with Two Ladies
The award-winning hottie skipped the VMA after parties to dine with his mom and girlfriend Jessica Biel. Sigh. He woulda been a good influence on Britney. [People]
Lindsay Loves Her Dad Again
The pair’s reconciliation continues at her Utah rehab, where they picked roses and hugged for the cameras. Who knew the paparazzi would be a part of the healing? [X17]
Mary-Kate Olsen Grows Up on TV
Check out this video of the twin’s most recent televised role – as a God-loving pothead on the hit show Weeds. Wanna see her smoke joints and make out on camera? You got it dude! [Just Jared]
Jessica: Desperate for More Mayer
The sad divorcee was spotted leaving John Mayer’s apartment building yesterday morning. Her body may not be a wonderland, but it’s good enough for a one night stand. [Gawker]