Britney Pens Poem to Mom


Britney’s legal letter demanding her mom stay far way from her two tots wasn’t the meanest note she handed to Lynne Spears last week. Apparently the pop princess also included a poem entitled "Dear Mama" in her paper pile, detailing what she feels is unforgivable mother-daughter treatment. A source reveals that Brit disowns her mom in the piece, writing that "she couldn’t imagine a mother doing what she did to her child.”

And just what did Lynne do? Well supposedly Britney hired a private investigator to dig up the dirt and obtained recordings of her phone calls with K-Fed. One has her plotting a visit with Sean and Jayden at his place behind the pop princess’ back, in which Lynne even says, "I have to be careful that Britney doesn’t find out!" Nice try Mama. You should know better than to mess with Britney Jean!

Below the jump, our imagined version of Brit’s poetic masterpiece.   

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Hottie of the Week: Megan Fox


Photo_20x9_1 All Megan Fox Pics

The Transformers star looks a lot more sexy when she’s walking a red carpet or partying somewhere.

Remember when she was hanging out with La Lohan in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen?

She’s a little older and a little wilder these days. Say goodbye to the girl and hello to the woman as you meet our Hottie of the Week.

Diddy’ll Be Missing His Girlfriend, Kate & Pete Part 27


Didkim Diddy‘s living up to his bad boy moniker. After 10 years and three kids (most recently twins, born in December), Diddy and his model-actress girlfriend Kim Porter are calling it quits. The couple have been on-and-off throughout the course of their relationship. This time, though, Porter has purchased a home in Beverly Hills for her and her children, and isn’t coming back to Diddy’s New York digs.

Other occupants of the Heartbreak Hotel? Kate Moss and Pete Doherty. Seems that the couple (who were practically genetically engineered for one another) are on the outs, with Pete taking up with other models, Kate changing the locks and a moving van transporting Pete’s earthly goods to a quaint little trailer in West London.

Thursday: Beyonce Browses Barefoot; Lindsay Skips Booze for Makin’ Out


Jessica: Flirting with Dane Cook?
Simpson was spotted getting her canoodle on with the comedy hunk (and former co-star) at a recent Prince show. [Mollygood]

Beyonce’s Barefoot Shopping Spree 
The big-voiced diva got a bad rap amongst snobby shoppers at Bergdorf Goodman this past Sunday while shopping for shorts. Apparently Beyonce browsed barefoot, even though she wasn’t anywhere near the shoe department. [NY Post]

Brit Sends Love Letter to Paps
The always kooky Britney penned a sweet letter to the paparazzi, apologizing for that unfortunate umbrella beat down earlier this year. She sarcastically claimed to be preparing for a role – in the sequel to The Shining, perhaps? [X17]

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Charm School Extra Credit: Charm To Spare


Below are a few extra scenes that you didn’t see in the Charm School season finale. In the first, Shay, Becky and Leilene all talk about not winning the competition. That they don’t curse, spit or throw tantrums could only mean one thing: these ladies have come a long way in the charm department. In the second, Saaphyri gives her thoughts on her victory. Toward the end, she expresses her need to wrap up the interview so she can go celebrate — what kind of wine goes well with cherry-flavored Lip Chap?

Blog Best-Of: Nick’s Nudity


Nickl_links- On the leaked pics of Nick Lachey frolicking nude with gf Vanessa Minillo, Nick says, "Where’s the scandal? …It’s not like I was caught with a Mexican hooker." He’s right. That would have made a much better story. [Dlisted]

- Megan Fox rocks a see-through shirt. This girl is gloriously trashy. What rock in New Jersey did she crawl out from under to get to Hollywood, anyway? [Hollywood Tuna]

- John Travolta says Scientology isn’t homophobic. What planet is he on? Oh right: Teegeeack. [A Socialite's Life]

- Scarlett Johansson sports a newly revealed septum piercing. She is now the girl with the pearl nosering. [CityRag]

- And speaking of piercing, Fantasia reportedly has had the jewelry in her clitoris changed. I’m telling you this because you deserve to know about the state of Fantastia’s clitoris. [Crunk + Disorderly]

[Image credit: Getty]

Nicole: Bun in the Oven is For Real?


Both TMZ and In Touch Weekly are reporting that Nicole Richie is indeed knocked up, preggers, with child – whatever you want to call it. She still looks like she’s eating for none, but hopefully that’ll change soon, as she’s rumored to be three months along. She’s also apparently going to marry her rocker boyfriend/possible baby daddy Joel Madden sometime this summer. Richie may want to hurry it up, cuz that July 11 court date’s not getting any farther away.  Maybe they can kill two birds with one stone and tie the knot at the courthouse before her hearing.

If Nicole really is pregs, she’ll probably officially announce it on July 4th, when all us gossip fiends are off barbecuing and setting off fireworks. Remember Jessica and Nick’s Thanksgiving divorce announcement a couple of years ago? Celebs have a way of using the holidays to their advantage. [TMZ/In Touch Weekly]

Lily Lashes Out at Paris and Lindsay


It’s hard not to love Lily Allen, especially when she’s opening her big mouth. The British pop star,  Myspace blogger, and future jailbird rocked the Concert for Diana this weekend, but before she returned to her native land she had this to say to Intelligencer:

"I’m about to be arrested just as soon as I get back to England. I
punched a paparazzi in the face. There were 70 of them
surrounding me. And I left the country
the next day.They’re saying I’m going to be arrested as soon as
I get
back. I could be
Paris Hilton soon enough. Oh, my God, her life is so f***ing insane. She doesn’t even do anything. I can’t
wait until Lindsay Lohan goes to jail. ‘Boo hoo. I’m going to
Good. Does that mean you’ll stop showing me your p**** now?"

Oh Lily, please don’t ever stop telling it like it is. And just so you know, a stint in jail does not mean that Lindsay will stop flashing her lady-thang 24/7. That freckled mess is here to stay. Welcome to America.

Courtney’s Sexy Hairballs


Courtney Love has posted a new track on her website, the first off her forthcoming solo release, Nobody’s Daughter. It’s called "How Dirty Girls Get Clean" and it’s unmistakably Courtney — lots of groaning, ominous atmospherics and what is very clearly Billy Corgan playing guitar. It’s a sad song, and it never really goes anywhere, but it’s also sort of intriguing. It starts with "I’ve lost my mind" and it never gets more optimistic than that. Take a listen. Does it sound like she’s coughing up a hairball to anyone else? And does she make hairballs sound sexy or what?