Lily Allen: Countdown to Breakdown

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Lilyallen5 In one brief MySpace entry, ska-pop princess Lily Allen reignited her war with fellow Brit Amy Winehouse and addressed the pressure she feels to be thin in the body-obsessed entertainment industry. Writing from "a sea of tears from my hotel bed in Seattle," the "Smile" singer tells fans she "spent the past hour researching gastric bypass surgery, and laser lipo suction." [sic] Allen’s MySpace confessional comes just weeks after cancelling nearly all of her tour dates due to feeling "tired." She has four remaining shows.

Is Lily days away from a full-scale meltdown?

Monday: Jess’s Deep Throat, Kardashian’s Boy Toy, The Donald’s Granddaugther

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Jessica “Deep Throats” Ice Cream
Sporting
a skimpy red outfit, Simpson takes the cone out of her mouth and says
“Maybe that’s what boys like. That’s what I do, so hopefully they do.”
Watch the sexy clip! [ebaumsworld]

Kardashian & Bush Are Dating
Paris Hilton introduced the couple when she was dating Reggie’s former USC teammate Matt Leinhart. Will we see a ‘Kim Kardashian Superstar: 2′? [Us Magazine]

“Mother’s Day” Sheryl Crow Adopts
She named the 2-week-old boy Wyatt, after her dad, and plans on reducing her tour schedule to become a full-time mom. [TMZ]

Read more…

Tough Love for Paris

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Paris_adviceParis Hilton‘s 45-day jail sentence is so sensational that people we haven’t heard from since at least before the word "blog" was invented are stepping up to snark. The funniest comes from notorious ex-con Patty Hearst, who contacted TMZ.com to deny a report that she’s giving Paris advice. Instead, she takes the opportunity to riff on Paris’ recent misfortune: "I must say that my heart goes out to the inmates of the Century Regional Detention Center. Forty-five days with Paris Hilton and the attendant publicity seems like cruel and unusual punishment to me. Perhaps THEY should be petitioning the Governor for relief?" she writes. Hands down, this is the best commentary on Paris yet. Get this cult figure a blog, stat!

Patty recommends that Paris "read Candy Spelling‘s letter several times and take her advice to heart," which brings us to our next item…

Read more…

Charm School: Courtney Gets Canned

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"How are you growing?" asked Mo’Nique as she gave Courtney the boot. Is Courtney the only Charm School girl that isn’t growing? Was head mistress Mo justified in expelling Courtney from school — and from 50,000 bucks? Or should another girl have been cut instead? Weigh in now, and check back soon for our official recap. 

They Spinnin’! Hip-Hop Headlines

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070511_ti Gangstas and Prankstas
Video: T.I. plays another college, gets capped by another water-filled projectile, offers up another 50 large (Crunk & Disorderly)

Holy Ghost
Ghostface Killah: ‘I’m still struggling … I’m not rich … I’mma start singing for God’ (SOHH)

Moms Is Down
Kanye West’s mother thinks Graduation is his best album ever (VH1)

Nasty, Nas
Video: Kelis has cramps, sniffs husband’s armpit (MissInfo)

R U Ready?
Album art, track list released for R. Kelly‘s Double Up (HipHopDX)

Percy Purges Profanities
Master P: ‘Al Sharpton and Oprah Winfrey are absolutely right!’ (XXL)

Read more…

You Cast It…And Watch It

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If you missed the I Love New York 2 – You Cast It special, have no fear: you can watch a bit of it below. Catch producers, Sister Patterson, Courtney/Goldie, Chance, Real and New York herself all weighing in on New York and her potential suitors.

And don’t forget, there’s still time to submit your profile for a chance to appear on I Love New York 2. Hit ILoveNewYork2.com for details. And, as New York says during the special: nose-pickers and bisexuals need not apply.

Blog Best-Of: Amy’s Admirer

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Amyw_links- David Guest gushes about Amy Winehouse: "I would kiss the mole on Amy Winehouse’s face and every tattoo on her body and I’d stick my tongue in the gap where her tooth is missing." [Dlisted]

- Is Halle Berry pregnant? This baby bump is so much bigger than her! [A Socialite's Life]

- Bobby Brown asks judge to reconsider his and Whitney Houston’s divorce ruling. He needs more money to buy more drugs that lead him to make decisions like asking a judge to reconsider his divorce ruling. [Bossip]

- Jessica Simpson poses with dozens of balloons. She inflated them all with what was in her head. [Just Jared]

- The MySpace page of the teenager Akon famously humped surfaces. On it, she notes: "i am really outgoing ,wild,and luvvvv to have fun." Girl, tell us something we don’t already know. [Best Week Ever]

Maddy Buys Lap Dances “For Research”

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Madonna3 Madonna? In a strip club? Buying lap dances? MSNBC is rather breathlessly reporting this latest information about the Material Girl almost as if they expect her to be chaste or something (here’s a hint: when someone puts out an art book called Sex that features photographs of that person having, uh, group sex, chances are she’s at least thought of hiring a stripper or two in her time). Apparently Madonna’s real goal was to audition dancers for a short film. She was also in disguise and drinking coffee! And, as if that weren’t enough, she asked the nubile hopefuls to read a few lines from a script before getting down and dirty. We can only imagine that conversation:

Madonna: Talk dirty to me.
Anonymous peeler: Lady, exactly how bored are you?

Leading-the-Blind Items

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- Can a trip to a ski resort on Sunday’s Celebrity Fit Club: Men Vs. Women cool things off between Dustin and rest of the cast? Or, will relations remain icy?

- When the girls of Charm School are given a perfume-based challenge, will they produce the sweet smell of success, or something stinky?

- When Anette is given control on Sunday’s Springer Hustle (airing at its new time: 8/7c), will she keep things good and trashy or throw away her chance?

Catch previews of Celebrity Fit Club: Men Vs. Women, Charm School, Springer Hustle and more at VSPOT.

Lohan’s Boy Fight: Don’t Pull a Boner

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Yes, the ubiquitous Lindsay Lohan is easy on the eye, therefore eliciting certain reactions from certain people. But it didn’t seem right that she spilled the beans about another Georgia Rule cast member and his instinctual reaction to their wet t-shirt romp on the front lawn. Didn’t seem right at all…