"Busta‘s lovemaking was not for the timid or faint of heart," writes scabrous radio personality Miss Jones in her just-released memoir Have You Met Miss Jones?: The Life and Loves of Radio’s Most Controversial Diva. In the book, she takes down Beyoncé, Jay-Z, rival radio loudmouth Wendy Williams and a host of other urban-radio royalty, but her most hilarious comments (at least, those excerpted by today’s article in the New York Daily News) were reserved for her one-time lover Busta Rhymes. Says Jonesy, "Busta was as gentle as he could be, because he was packing." But never one to give a compliment without then consulting the back of her hand, Jones continues in her acidic pseudo-wit:
"The fact that our lovemaking never lasted too long didn’t bother me, because I didn’t enjoy his drops of sweat raining down on me. [Afterward] Busta would stroll around the apartment butt-naked, then shower and go into the kitchen and fry an egg sandwich – for himself. I guess I should be grateful. It’s not like he didn’t offer me a bite."
After all, what goes better with H.A.M. than a fried-egg sandwich? [New York Daily News / Image credit: Getty]
Rosie Bashes Former View Pal The comedian went on the attack recently, ragging on Elisabeth Hasselbeck during a stand up show on her cruise. Rosie even busted out a pic of the View co-host with devil horns drawn on her head. So much for playing nice! [NY Post]
Brit Caught Crying in Public The paps spied Britney shedding tears while dining at the Four Seasons in LA. Is her recent tiff with cousin/assistant/sidekick Alli to blame? [X17]
Usher: Wedding Around the Corner The singer and father-to-be may be heading down the aisle sooner than he’s revealed. Sources say he and Tameka Foster are ready to wed this summer in the Hamptons, before their baby is born. [NY Post]
In last night’s premiere of the second season of VH1 and Entertainment Weekly‘s World Series of Pop Culture, winners were crowned and losers were booted from the stage. The first two teams to go head-to-head were Chicago’s Fat Guys in Little Coats against Austin’s Team Motherboy, and The White Russians from Louisville against Portland, Oregon’s, Remo-Leen-Teen-Teen. (Check the tournament chart here.) As benevolent host and sometime Canadian news anchor Pat Kiernan watched, Team Motherboy mopped the floor with the Fat Guys (pictured above), and Remo-Leen-Teen-Teen basically killed The White Russians. It wasn’t pretty, but that’s pop culture.
– While the rest of the girls were in Charm School, Flavor of Love 2 alumna Deelishis was…getting married. (Or…something?) Whatever, she looks hot. She wins! [Flavor of Love Blog]
- Scarlett Johansson is photographed on the set of yet another Woody Allen movie. It’s as though she’s addicted to being ogled by dirty old men. [A Socialite’s Life]
- Britney Spears is photographed exiting a bathroom a Taco Bell bathroom. There’s a joke there somewhere, if you can get past the smell. I can’t. [Dlisted]
- Jennifer Hudson may have gained some weight back, but she has a foolproof way of looking thin. Seriously, standing next to Andre Leon Tally wearing a muumuu makes you look better than any diet. [CONCRETELOOP]
- Ne-Yo thinks it’s cool that he’s mentioned in video vixen Karrine "Superhead" Steffans‘ second book. His poor, ailing penis, however, begs to differ. [Crunk + Disorderly]
Canadian horror hottie Elisha Cuthbert first came to our attention as special agent Jack Bauer’s daughter on Fox’s real-time mega-hit, 24. But as S.E. Hinton taught us, that was then and this is now. She’s come a long way from being kidnapped and tortured by terrorists. Now she’s being kidnapped and tortured by a psycho — in Captivity.
The first-round ads for the film were so graphic that a media furor erupted, forcing the movie to almost totally change its campaign. We say almost, because the ads still star Elisha Cuthbert. Take a long, hard look at the new scream queen. She’s our brand new hottie. Who else would be appropriate to feature on the week of Friday the 13th?
Check out this video of Paris Hilton‘s biggest fan. She’s only four years old but she already knows how to pose just like her hero. Let’s hope she doesn’t learn how to do all the other raunchy and illegal things Paris is so good at. The kid’s face as the camera flashes go off is adorable and hilarious. Not hilarious – the mom who drags her daughter half way across the country and keeps her up until 2am to meet a convict.
The skinniest pregnant lady in the world goes to trial for her DUI charge tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM on the dot. This comes after Nicole’s lawyer begged the court today to push the start date back to August 5th so some fancy drug expert could be present. But this judge is thankfully as awesome as the one who sent Paris to the clink, and the request was a no-go. TMZ reports that Nicole and her belly flew to Canada last night to be with boyfriend Joel Madden, who is on tour with his band Good Charlotte. Let’s hope she has some frequent flyer miles to kill, as she’s got less than 24 hours to get back to the States. She should also rub that belly of hers for luck – if she’s convicted of her second DUI she must serve a minimum of five days behind bars. And now – let the Nicole Richie Trial Watch officially begin!
The premiere episode of Rock of Love with Bret Michaels debuted today on VSPOT (its network premiere will be this Sunday, July 15, at 9/8c), and oh my god, is it amazing. But don’t take our word for it (since we do, you know, work at the company responsible for the show): below are two clips from the premiere so you witness the craziness yourself. The first segment provides the show’s set up (basically: a house full of rocker girls with big boobs and long blonde hair are vying for the affection of a rock star dude with…long blonde hair) and introduces you to said girls and said rock star (that’d be Bret Michaels of Poison fame). The second clip below shows just how rowdy the party gets as Bret mingles with all 21 women that are competing to win his rock of love. Keep an eye on Tiffany. She’s extremely special.
Some other notable things about this show:
As the latest entry in the Flavor of Love universe, Rock of Love is where things come full circle. See, Flavor of Love was basically conceived and played out as a parody of The Bachelor — a huge part of its appeal was the inherent ridiculousness arising from the fact that a gaggle of women were gagging over Flavor Flav, who doesn’t exactly live up to the standard of male beauty, to say the least. It is, however, conceivable that women would fawn over Bret Michaels, who’s been a sex symbol throughout his career. And so it happens: you can tell that most of the girls on Rock of Love are seriously into him, meaning that there’s a straightforward dating show at the heart of Rock‘s wild exterior. And it’s all the more absurd for it.
Case and point to that last statement is Bret’s objective (stated in the top clip above): "Rock and roll is an insatiable bitch goddess. But I love her. And I’m just looking for that one woman in my life to participate in that threesome."
You’ll notice that the first segment does not feature Bret handing out nicknames to his potential girlfriends in the style of Flavor of Love and I Love New York. With a Rodeo, a Dallas, a Raven, a Kristia, a Tawny (Tawny!), and two freakin’ Brandi’s (two!), these girls don’t need any help with their names.
This show is, quite simply, a prolonged exercise in extreme human behavior. It’s amazing on a scientific level. Rock of Love looks you in the eye and threatens you with a good time. How many other shows can lay that claim?
Hit VSPOT for the rest of the premiere episode of Rock of Love.
For those of you who thought the age of the "Sensitive Man" was dead, think again. Ryan Seacrest is bringing it back full force. The Americal Idol host went into detail on his radio show Monday morning, describing the blubbering sesh he had while watching Eva Longoria and Tony Parker share their first dance together as husband and wife. And no, he didn’t imagine it, he was actually at the wedding – as a guest. Say what? "I am crying," he stated, reliving his reaction to the couple. "Then Tony dipped Eva right then and there, pulled her back up and gave her a kiss."
Who knew guys actually noticed these things? Ah – but all men are not Ryan Seacrest. He continued to describe watching this scene with fellow (female) guests Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman and Jessica Alba: "They are smiling and I am a disaster."
Yes. Yes, you are. I for one am insulted that you’ve made it through six seasons of American Idol without shedding a tear. What kind of gentle, tender, sweet man are you?
In the latest screen-to-stage move, ’80s cult fave Desperately Seeking Susan is being turned into a West End Musical. Downtown icon Debbie Harry of Blondie fame has penned one new song for the play, “Moment of Truth,” and the score will include Blonide hits “Tide Is High,” “Heart of Glass” and “One Way Or Another.” The film, which epitomized New York’s East Village culture at the time, was Madonna‘s acting debut and remains one of her only tolerable film performances. The play opens October 12th at London’s Novello Theater.